Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
A Fine Frenzy: Almost Lover
“It's not fair,” Katie managed to choke out as she finished off another box of tissues. Her breath was sharp and forced as her older sister rubbed circles on her back to soothe her. Lovingly, the oldest Bell sister combed through her sister's thick, chocolate curls in an attempt to calm her down. Katie continued to bury her face into her sister's chest as Rebbecca murmured soft words of comfort.
No matter what Rebbecca could say to her, nothing would melt the wall of ice that had formed around Katie's heart since she received the letter from Angelina. She was engaged to the only man Katie had ever loved: George Weasley. Angelina was supposed to be her friend, not the person who would help break her heart into a million shards. That was the part that hurt the most; someone she had talked to and loved like a sister was marrying the man she promised to not even date.
“She promised me,” Katie sobbed as she clutched Becky's sweater. For a while, Becky allowed Kate to cry and vent to her. After all, that's what sisters were supposed to do: they were supposed to be there for each other. Katie and Becky were always there for each other, even if the worse possible thing in the world would happen. They always had each other.
“I don't get it,” Rebbecca said softly as Katie took a drink from the glass of water that had been offered to her. Curiously, Katie raised her eyebrow at her sister. Becky's blue eyes locked with Katie's brown ones in order to intensify what she was about to say. She pursed her pink lips as though she was going to say something, but she hesitated. Katie sniffed some more tears back as she waited for Rebbecca to say something.
“What?” Katie whispered, taking her sisters hands in hers.
“How can you be friends with her and love him?”
Sighing, Katie collapsed onto her bed. She shouldn't have expected Becky to get it; she had lived a charmed love life. She'd wound up marrying her Hogwarts sweetheart and was actually happy with him – she had been for five years. Never had any of Becky's good friends attempting to date the love of her life, so of course she wouldn't understand Katie.
“Come on, sweetie,” Becky said lovingly as she pulled her blonde locks into a sloppy bun on the side of her head. Katie looked at her sister sadly. Kindly, Becky stroked Katie's cheek as though it would coax an answer from her. All it did, though, was cause her sister to cry more. In order to give Becky an answer, Katie had to think about the two people who were ripping her into pieces. That was not something that she was mentally able to do right now.
“I don't want to talk about it, Becky.”
“That's okay, love.” In a matronly manner, Rebbecca wrapped her arms around Katie as though to protect her from anymore of the evils in the world that could hurt her. Unfortunately, there was little that she could to do help her baby sister when all the evils of her world had already crashed into her. Still, Katie wanted her sister to hold her like a little child who had broken her favorite doll. That was all that could help – even if it was a minuscule amount – her at that moment. She needed someone to hold her, even if it was just Becky.
Soon, the dark blanket of night covered the bright city lights. This meant a terrible thing for Katie: she would have to sleep. Though she was exhausted physically and mentally, she didn't want to let sleep take her over. If she did, she'd dream about them and their wedding and their future babies – the babies that should be hers. She should be the one with little freckled, ginger haired toddlers running about. Angelina shouldn't be that person; Angie didn't even want children.
More tears came. Even though this was inevitable, Katie was fed up with herself. She shouldn't be crying over a former lover even if she did love that man more than anything in the world. In all honesty, during the battle three years ago, she would have thrown herself in front of You-Know-Who for him. Her jaw tightened when she thought of the outcome. In her heart, she knew the only reason the two were marrying was because of their shared loss. George reminded Angelina of Fred and Angelina reminded George of Fred.
“She doesn't even love him; she loves his dead brother,” she whispered so quietly that only she could hear. This was not something that she would want Becky to hear; if Becky heard then she would surely go tell the couple what was on her mind. Katie didn't wish harm on them, just a change of mind. She looked up to see if her sister was still there; indeed, she was. Though she was asleep in the recliner, Katie was glad that she had at least one person who would always be by her side. With this comfort in mind, she allowed herself to nod off to sleep with the hope that dreams would escape her.
Though dreams didn't give her a visit that night, memories did. These memories all involved only her and George. Their first kiss, their first date, their first time, their first everything. Just when she hoped it was over, a nonexistent memory came to her. It was now a dream rather than a possibility. In this fake memory, George was smiling, his blue eyes bright, and on one knee in front of Katie. At that moment, she knew that she had to wake up. She could not take one more moment of these awful thoughts. Weakened by her own mental state, Katie hugged herself as though it would keep her from falling apart. Even if it physically held her in one piece, it broke her apart even more on the inside. She watched helplessly as the tears fell onto her legs, toned and muscular from years of Quidditch and sports.
“I can't do this anymore,” she wept to herself as she held her knees to her chest.