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Very Mature Potter... by _Emma_
Chapter 1 : Bugger Off Potter
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 18

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Chapter One

Bugger Off Potter

Well, my name's Lily Evans and I’m seventeen. Well, I guess I better start from the beginning. I’m a witch, and no I don’t have green skin and a wart on my nose. I’m just an ordinary girl, except for the little fact I mentioned earlier. I have two best friends –Alice and Andromeda – I’m head girl of my school – even if it is with that Perverted Potter – who also happens to be my own stalker. I can’t stand him, he’s always bugging me; he thinks its funny to take my homework and turn it into a bird then make it fly into the fireplace. He finds it even funnier if I’ve just finished it and I’ve spent days doing it and its due in the next day. He thinks that doing all will make me like him even the slightest bit but it’s not working, not one bit.


Anyway, it was the first day back at school and I was sitting in my compartment with Alice and Andromeda catching up with stuff that had happened over the summer. I was right in the middle of telling Alice and Andromeda about something that I was doing with a guy I had met at the beginning of the holidays when James Potter himself walked in followed by his ‘posse’. There was Sirius Black, the main guy at Hogwarts; the one all of the girls with no brains – which was most of them - wanted to be with. Peter Pettigrew, he was a bit on the fat side, he also looked and sounded like a rat. Remus Lupin was behind them all. He was the only one that didn’t follow me around with Perverted Potter and his Perverted Posse.

“Oh don’t stop for us Evans, please continue with your amazing story.” James grinned at me.

“Stuff you Potter. What are you doing in here anyway? Can’t you get your own compartment?” I growled at him.

“As a matter of fact Evans there is no compartments left, you see we got here a bit late and this is the only one that has any room in it.”

“Well stand in the corridor then! There’s not enough room in here. There’s only enough room for six of us in here so someone’s not going to get a seat.”

“Oh is that right? Well someone could always share.” James said, making Sirius snigger. I eyed them both suspiciously as James sat down beside me. Everyone was seated apart from Sirius; I looked between them as if daring them to do anything. I looked at Sirius, trying to see if he was going to leave but it didn’t look as if he was. While I was thinking James wrapped his arms around my waist and, while I was still thinking, he pulled me up onto his lap. I let out a surprised squeal and tried to pull away but the years of Quidditch had made him so much stronger than me. I twisted around in his lap and tried to get back into my seat but Sirius saw this and sat in my seat.

“Hey! Thanks my seat!” I shouted.

“No it’s not. You’re sitting there. James was very kind and offered to share so that we could all get a seat.” Sirius grinned.

“But that’s not fair!” I pouted.

“Grow up Evans. Just sit there and look pretty. Act as if we never came in and keep going with your interesting story. You got to the bit where you were kissing him …” James said.

“No way Potter, Just forget about that whole story.” I told him. “Did you hear about Lucius Malfoy?” I asked excitedly.

“About him and Cissy?” Andromeda asked; she seemed to love gossiping about her sisters.

“Yes. Is it true they went all the way?” Alice asked.

“Yep, so true. Her room is right next to mines.” Andromeda told us, leaning in closer.

“Seriously? And you heard it all?” I asked.

“Urgh, yes. And I have Bella on the other side of me. She’s with that Rodolphus and it was basically all the time!” She exclaimed.

“No! Do you mean that it was like both at the same time?” Alice asked.

“Yes! I actually had to sleep in the shed to get away from it all!”

“James, cut that out.” I scolded when James started to play with my hair.

“Well I’m bored!” He complained.

“Well, I’m not forcing you to be here!” I said and turned back to the conversation I had been in.

“You could have come over to mines to get away from it.” Alice said.

“We probably would have heard them there.” Andromeda laughed.


James was really bored after about half an hour. He started to run his fingers up and down my spine.

“Stop it.” I told him.

“Why?” James asked as he kept doing it.

“Because it’s bugging me!” I shouted.

“Well your constant gossiping is bugging me.” James retorted. “I don’t want to know who was with who over the summer. Can’t you talk about something normal for a change? How about Quidditch, you never talk about that.”

“Bugger off Potter, I don’t want you here and you obviously don’t want to be here so why don’t you just go?” Said to him.

“Well I’m going but don’t think that you’re getting rid of me Evans because you have to come with me.” James sniggered.

“And why’s that?” I asked.

“Because we have to go to the heads carriage.” He said simply.

“Argh! Why couldn’t you have went there just now instead of sitting in here?” I shouted.

“Because I didn’t feel like it.” James sniggered. “Come on Evans, we have to go.”
”I’ll get you there.” I told him as I stood up to let him leave.

“Oh come on Evans. Don’t make me kiss you but I will if you don’t come with me, we’re all ready late.” James told me.

“Grow up Potter. Anyway you wouldn’t try it, you know as well as anyone else how many spells I can do.” I warned him.

“Just move Evans. Anyway, you wouldn’t risk losing your Head Girl badge.” James said. He was telling the truth, I wouldn’t want to lose my badge, especially not over him.

“Bugger off Potter, I’m busy.” I snapped.

“If we have to Padfoot ’n’ me’ll drag you down there.” James told me.

“Sure you will.” I said sarcastically. That was a mistake. James grabbed my wrists and Sirius grabbed my ankles.

“Well I did warn you.” James laughed. Alice and Andromeda found it hysterical and followed along behind, laughing at me as we went. The noise brought loads of people out of their carriages to see what was happening.

“James Potter!” I screamed, “Put me down this instant!”

He just ignored me.

“Sirius!” I shouted at the dark haired boy who was holding me legs. “Come on, this isn’t funny.”

“Actually, it’s really funny.” One of the fifth years shouted from his compartment.

“Put me down!”

“Okay. Sirius, she wants to be put down.” James said loudly. “One two three!” And they dropped me. They just let go of me. Of course I hadn’t been expecting it and I let out a scream as I landed.

Lucius Malfoy walked past at that point and sneered at me. “On the ground where you belong along with the rest of the Mud bloods.”

“Shove off Malfoy.” I muttered angrily.

“Why should I listen to you?” He asked me.

“Just bugger off.” James jumped in.

“I don’t think that this concerns you Potter.” Lucius snarled.

“Oh well I think it does.”

“James just leave it.” I said calmly to James, I could see him tensing.

“Oh listen to your little Mud blood Potter and run along. I personally wouldn’t let her touch me with that foul blood.”

“James, don’t bother. I don’t care what he thinks and you shouldn’t either. Its not his fault he’s had a few blonde moments, well maybe if he didn’t bleach his hair…” I joked. Everyone laughed.

“You foul little Mudblood!” He shouted at me as his face went crimson in embarrassment.

“Piss off Malfoy. Oh and by the way you look like Arthur Weasley when you blush.” I said calmly and walked away.


The Perverted Posse followed me with Alice and Andromeda.

“How can you handle him so calmly?” James asked me.

“I can’t be bothered fighting people. I just embarrass them and then they embarrass themselves.” I told him.

“Oh. I could have took him though. Can I have a kiss for standing up for you?” He asked me with puppy dog eyes.

“Bugger off Potter.” I laughed and slapped his arm.

“Ow, that hurt Evans.” James joked. By then we were at the Prefects carriage. “Ladies first.” James said as he held the door open for me.

“Oh so you’ll be in right after me then?” I asked sarcastically.

“No, Moony will. I’m the manliest out of all us.” James said while beating his fists against his chest.

“Shut up Potter.” I told him and went in. I was right, Lupin was in after me. Lupin sat across from me, James beside me.

“James, don’t make me do anything I’ll regret.” I warned him.

“Oh, don’t worry, I wont regret it.” James said with a smile.

“I didn’t say anything you-“ I started but stopped when the door opened and the prefects came in.


Everything was going well, James hadn’t done anything, which worried me a little. I was expecting him to do something to embarrass me. The meeting was nearly over when he did it. I had told him to make an announcement about Quidditch. I must have been complaining about something before. James stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m sorry about her. P.M.S. you know?” James apologized.

“What?” I asked, pulling myself from his grip.

“Oops. I guess I shouldn’t have said that.” James said with a guilty face.

“Bugger off Potter.” I growled at him.

“Wait. Potter, are you going with Evans?” A Ravenclaw asked James.

“Like hell he is!” I shouted.

“She doesn’t want anyone to know.” James said quietly.

“Okay, let’s get this right. I am not going with anyone let alone Potter.” I snarled at everyone. “Since Potter doesn’t seem to want to want to talk about Quidditch that’s the meeting over.” I told everyone but left before any of them. I went straight to the carriage that I had been in with Alice and Andromeda before the meeting. Sirius and Peter weren’t there which I was glad about. After a while we were almost at the school so we went to get changed. When we got back to the compartment the Perverted Posse was there. I sat with my arms crossed over my chest and stared out of the window. I never said anything to anyone and when the train stopped; Alice, Andromeda and I were one of the first ones off so that we could get a carriage to ourselves.


The speeches at the Feast were short and the food appeared quickly. I was sitting with Alice and Andromeda. James had decided to sit opposite me with the rest of the Perverted Posse. I was sitting with a salad and a few bits of chicken and a goblet of water; I was never able to stick pumpkin juice. James thought it would be a good idea to get a roll from the basket that was right beside my goblet, Sirius thought it would be a good idea to push him. Both of these ‘good ideas’ put together knocked overt my goblet right onto me. I had decided not to wear a jumper and the goblet had completely soaked my shirt. You could see right through it!

“Bloody Hell Potter! Can’t you behave for two minutes?” I screamed.

“I’m so sorry. That wasn’t my fault! Padfoot pushed me!” James apologized and started dabbing at my shirt with some napkins.

“Leave off!” I shouted. I pushed his hands away and stood up. I pulled out my wand and muttered a drying charm.

“I’m so sorry Lily.” James kept repeating.

“Stuff your apology Potter. You’ve already got on my last nerve and it’s only the first day back. You better watch out, I will get you back for all for this. Just you wait and see.” I warned him angrily then stormed out of the Great Hall.

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