Chapter 11 : Insecure
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“Yes. She lost a lot of blood, but she’ll be okay.”
“Where am I?” muttered Jordan from her hospital bed.
“She’s awake!” yelled someone, “Jordan, open your eyes sweet heart.”
She tried to open them, but her lids were heavy. Somebody started stroking her cheek.
“Come on,” said the person next to her.
“Remus,” she whispered opening them a little.
“Hey. How are you feeling?” he asked taking her hand.
“Fine,” she replied tiredly, “What time is it?”
“It’s almost nine in the morning. You’ve been unconscious since yesterday.”
“Have you been here the whole time?”
“Of course. McGonagall and Dumbledore were here too. They just left to tell the other teachers what happened.”
“What? They can’t,” said Jordan shooting up in the bed.
Pain coursed through her upper body. Her broken arm was healed but still very sore. The cuts on her chest and shoulder had been sewn up, but obviously they still hurt too. It didn’t help that her face was a little beat up. Gently, Remus stopped her from getting out of the bed.
“Nobody can know about what happened,” she said a little nervously.
“The teachers do. Don’t worry. I’m the only student who knows.”
Jordan’s face blanched. Remus was afraid she would pass out again.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said taking her face in his hands, “Nobody else knows.”
“Oh God. They promised me I would be safe.”
“Shh,” said Remus putting his arms around her, “I promise you it’s going to be okay.”
Jordan didn’t say anything. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
“How much of it did you see?” she asked him.
“Not a whole lot…”
“How much?” she asked again.
“Just the end. I saw him throw the knife. Then I saw you…”
“I’m so sorry you saw that,” she said a little tearfully, “I never meant…”
“Jordan!” yelled McGonagall from the door.
Jordan let go of Remus. McGonagall ran over to her and engulfed her in a loving hug.
“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.
“No I’m not okay,” said Jordan heatedly, “How the Hell did they find me?”
“I’m so sorry you were attacked. Somehow, he snuck onto the grounds,” said
McGonagall apologetically, “We’re still trying to figure out how.”
“How did they even know where I was?”
McGonagall paused. Jordan gave her a look McGonagall never wanted to receive again.
“We don’t know that either,” said the elderly witch.
Jordan knew she was lying. Quickly she racked her brain for possibilities. Her mind landed on a horrifying thought. It was someone in the school.
“Shit,” she said as she realized that’s what it was.
“What?” asked Remus.
Jordan looked at him. She realized that she had put him in incredible danger. What if they figured out how much he meant to her? Not just Remus. Sirius and James too?
“I need to go,” she said, “I can’t stay here.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” said McGonagall firmly, “It’s too dangerous outside the castle.”
“Only for me it is. You’re all in danger if I stay here.”
Jordan swung her legs over the side of the bed. McGonagall tried to stop her.
“Jordan, you need to stay here. You need to believe me when I say you’re the only one in danger.”
“Why should I believe you? You said nothing would happen to me while I was here and now one of you is helping those men. If they got onto the grounds once, they can do it again.”
She pushed McGonagall’s hands aside and got out of the bed.
“I was crazy to think this would work,” she said walking towards the door, “I was crazy to think that I would ever be safe.”
She was starting to cry. Why had she thought her life would change? Why had she allowed herself to hope things would get better?
“Jordan,” said Remus running in front of her, “You need to stay here.”
“I can’t,” she replied emotionally, “I can’t put you…”
“I don’t care whether you think I’m in danger or not. You can’t go,” he said firmly,
“What ever you’re up against, we’re going to help you.”
“You can’t help me,” sobbed Jordan, “I’m sorry, Remus, but I have to go. I care about you too much to stay here.”
“And I care about you too much to let you go,” he said wiping the tears from her eyes, “You don’t have to do this alone anymore. I have no idea what you’ve been through, and I know you don’t want to tell me. That’s fine. I don’t care about that. The only thing I care about is keeping you safe.”
Jordan didn’t know what to say. Not that she could say anything anyway. She hadn’t cried this much ever. Lovingly Remus put his arms around her. He could feel the pain that surrounded her. It was a little unbearable for him. He couldn’t stand to see her in pain.
Eventually, Jordan calmed down.
“Will you walk me back to the dorms?” she asked pulling away from him.
“Are you well enough?” he said looking at McGonagall.
“Don’t worry. I’m fine,” replied Jordan tiredly.
“It’s fine with me,” replied McGonagall, “But we need to make sure it’s okay with Madame Pomphrey.”
McGonagall walked out to find the nurse. Jordan turned back to Remus.
“Thank you,” she said a little sheepishly, “I’m sorry I overreacted like that.”
“You’re welcome,” said Remus laughing a little, “And you didn’t overreact. I think you are the official queen of under reacting. Are you sure you’re well enough?”
“Yes. Right now all I want to do is relax with you until Sirius and James get back. You know what, screw waiting for the nurse. Lets just go.”
She grabbed his hand and they ran out of the hospital wing.
Later that night, Remus was sitting on the couch with Jordan. She had just fallen asleep with her head in his lap. Any minute the other students would return. All Remus could do was watch her. She looked so beautiful in the firelight. Softly he started stroking her cheek. She turned her head so her lips were facing him. It was all he could do not to lean down and kiss her.
A second later he heard the door open. In burst the entire Gryffindor house. Gently he turned Jordan’s face so it was hidden. He knew she didn’t want anyone to see her like that. The last two people to walk in were James and Sirius.
“Hey guys,” said Sirius happily.
“Shh,” said Remus, “She just fell asleep.”
“Well wake her up. I want to…”
He paused when he saw her face.
“What the Hell happened to her?” he gasped kneeling next to the couch.
James walked up to look too.
“Oh my God. What did you guys do while we were gone?” he said.
Quickly Remus told them everything that happened. As he was telling them he pulled back her shirt to show them the cuts. Both James and Sirius were speechless.
“She thinks there’s someone in the school who helped that guy,” explained Remus,
“We have to find out who it is.”
“Don’t worry. We will,” said Sirius, “Wait until you see what James got from his dad.”
Before James could show them, Jordan woke up.
“Hey sweet heart,” said Sirius happily, “How are you feeling?”
Jordan didn’t say anything. She practically jumped off the couch and tackled him to the ground.
“Oh my God, I’ve missed you,” she said hugging him tightly.
“I can tell.”
She got off him and gave James a hug too.
“Seriously, how are you feeling?” asked James looking at her.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because of what happened?”
“Oh yeah. That was nothing,” said Jordan waving it off, “Sit down with us. I want to hear about your Christmases.”
“Hold on,” said Sirius, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Stop worrying you dork.”
She grabbed both their hands and brought them over to the couch. They stayed up for hours. Sirius and James had a wonderful Christmas at their homes. James ended up getting an invisibility cloak from his dad.
“This way, we can walk around the castle at night,” he said.
“Sweet. That’ll make it a lot easier to figure this out,” said Jordan running the material through her hands.
Jordan was so glad they were back. She felt a lot more secure with them there. Once again she started feeling sleepy. She stood up and had a big stretch.
“I’m going to go to bed now,” she said, “I am so glad you guys are back.”
“Wait. You’re not sleeping in your room,” said Sirius taking her hand.
“I’m not. Where am I going to sleep?”
“In our room, where it’s safer,” said Remus.
“You guys don’t have to be near me every second,” she said, “I’m pretty sure the
dorms are safe.”
“Not if it’s someone in the castle. Sorry Jordan there’s no way around it. You’re sleeping with us until this is finished,” said Remus pulling her towards the stairs.
“When did you guys decide this?” she asked good humouredly.
“Just now. You’re not going anywhere with out us,” said James helping Remus
bring her upstairs.
“That’s sweet, but you guys know when I’m attacked again, you have to leave.”
“No we won’t,” said Remus.
“Yes you will. I will not allow you guys to put your lives at more risk because of me.”
“There’s not a whole lot you can do about it,” said Sirius, “We’re going to do whatever we have to, to keep you safe.”
Jordan paused a second.
“Thank you so much you guys,” she said, “This really means a lot to me.”
“You’re welcome honey,” said Sirius hugging her.
She started to pull away, but he held on to her.
“You know what you guys,” he said, “I think we need a Jordan sandwich.”
“No. You guys don’t do it,” she said trying to get away from Sirius again.
Before she could get away James and Remus put their arms around her too.
“Ready,” said Sirius, “Squish.”
They all squeezed as hard as they could.
“Quit it you guys,” gasped Jordan between them, “Ow!”
She pushed them away and put her hand to the cut on her shoulder.
“Sorry,” said Sirius, “I forgot about your shoulder.”
“That’s okay,” said Jordan, “I just said that so you guys would let go.”
Sirius shoved her teasingly.
“All right, now I’m really tired,” she said, “One of you give me a pillow and blanket.”
“What?” asked James.
“Well, if you guys are making me sleep on the floor in your room I’d at least like a
pillow and a blanket.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor. You’re sleeping with Remus.”
“What? No I’m not.”
“You’re going to be someday, may as well start now,” joked Sirius.
Jordan glared at him.
“We’re taking turns,” said Remus, “You can start with whoever you want.”
Jordan yawned and climbed into Remus’ bed. She turned her back to them and fell asleep. Remus couldn’t help but smile. He turned to the others. Sirius gave him a thumbs up.
“Shut up,” said Remus, “Wait. The full moon’s in a few days. What are we going to do?”
“You could maybe tell her,” said James.
“Or not,” replied Remus.
“James and I will take turns staying with her for full moons,” said Sirius.
“Okay. Good night,” said Remus getting into bed next to Jordan.
She moved over in her sleep. Then she grabbed his hand and put his arm around her.
“Don’t leave,” she said.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered calmingly.
Instead of flipping out, like he thought she would, she just held his hand tighter. Sirius and James exchanged looks. Then they too got into bed.
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