Author's Note: muahahaha! I'm on a snow day! And the queue is seven hours!!!!!!!!!!! Woot! So, I've worked on this since noon (when I woke up) and I think it's rather good...but I could be wrong. The only way for me to know is if you REVIEW. *smiles innocently as if not implying anything* please and thank you!
Disclaimer: I only own the things you've never heard off and the characters not in the actual HP books. And thank you to Will Ferell in 'Kicking and Screaming'. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what a clavicle was and I wouldn't be able to see Peter 'Pictionary' Pettigrew as that cute little Asian kid that formed a megaperson with that giant kid...
Chapter Four: Taking Sides
“Oh bugger…here we go-OW!”
"We heard you the first time, Evans! You're worse than the damn conductor blowwing the whistle five times in my ear when we arrived at Hogwarts!"
“Shut up, Siri. You’re just jealous that Lillikins doesn’t give you free tackle-slash-hugs when we return for second year.”
“What’s this about free tackle-slash-hugs from Lillikins? I’d like one…PLUS TWO HUNDRED!”
“Your pick-up lines seem to have gotten worse over the summer, mate.”
“Summer? Yes, she’s standing next to me-“
“Call me Summer one more time and I’ll-“
“Aw, isn’t nice to come back to the peace of Hogwarts and get away from the chaos of the world-“
“I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR SPLEEN OUT OF YOUR ASS IF YOU CALL ME SUMMER ONE MORE TIME!”
“By gosh, Rum, I couldn’t agree more.”
“What are we agreeing upon?”
“Oh, Peter, we just agreed that if we for some reason end up getting trapped inside Hogwarts due to an unseasonable blizzard and everyone lost their opposable thumbs, we would eat you first. You look so cute and cuddly…and yummy…”
“W-why would you w-want to eat m-me? We’re a-about to e-e-enter the feast!”
“Phe, do you prepare what to say or do you actually come up with it all on the spot?”
“Why prepare? Everything looses its climatic possibilities if you prepare-“
“I AM GOING TO SET YOU ON FIRE TO SHOW YOU WHAT FIERY REALLY IS, SNOTTER! STOP TALKING ABOUT MY HAIR!”
The second year had and nothing had changed. Except for the fact that the boys had all grown about a foot and their voices dropped an octave or two since June, Lily had developed ‘curves’ much to James’ delight and her own displeasure, and Phoenix was modeling her now signature bubblegum pink hair and matching eyes. But no matter how little the six Gryffindors changed on the outside, it was the internal dramas that had matured them and driven them to counting the hours to the re-opening of Hogwarts.
Lily went home to an excited family whose opinion didn’t have substantial value in her heart and an older sister who grimaced every time she came within a meter of and whose opinion meant the world to Lily. James was back to his lonesome manor filled with every luxury he demanded except his Head-Auror parents. Remus was left in isolation and mystery by his former Muggle playmates due to his frequent ‘illnesses’ and his year-long disappearance. Peter failed to reach the standards of his older, accomplished brothers due to a lack of magic producing wand work and a surplus of dictionary recitation. Sirius was locked away for his incompetence to stick to the pureblood status quo and had to keep his newly enrolled Slytherin brother, Regulus, from his parents’ prejudice clutches. Phoenix left her imaginary world to reenter her father’s world and fulfill the mission her mother failed and her grandfather needed for his satisfying retribution.
Things were different; it is up to you to decide whether it is good or bad. However, it was up to the six said pre-teenagers how they would mold themselves into real people with what environments they were trapped in.
The Gryffindor Common Room. Probably the only place in Hogwarts that would never change or be destroyed by Phoenix and Sirius.
The always comforting fire. One of the many places Phoenix and Lily would toss Sirius and James’ homework in. The leather arm chairs. One of the many seats Remus and Peter could be found on, reading or scribbling out the juice of their minds into the form of lengthy essays. The love seats. One of the many places Sirius and Phoenix would duel or wrestle for. The memories and bliss created within the very walls. One of the many sentiments they would carry on for years to come.
“The Marauders?” Lily scoffed once the boys and Phoenix revealed their summer-long secret. “You’re the Marauders? What kind of stupid name is that?”
“A stupid name that will become legendary,” Sirius corrected.
“You are all morons. Yes, you too, Phe,” added Lily. “I can’t believe you guys need a name. Well, I can’t believe you have to break the rules to win the attention of your peers and boost your egos. Honestly, join a scholastic club or-“
“This is a scholastic club!” argued James. “We’re teaching the school the art of mischief! Phe, talk sense into Sum-Evans for us.”
“I can’t, mate. You know how stubborn she is,” she replied.
“But you’re her best friend!”
“So? The only privilege I’ve gotten from being her best friend is that I know she likes Snivellus-“
“WHAT?” the four boys roared. Lily’s emerald eyes were ablaze as she pummeled Phoenix.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!"
“I think you’re sitting on my clavicle-hey! Don't touch my amulet!“
“NOW I’M GOING TO SUFFER THE REST OF MY HUMAN LIFE!”
“And your non-human life,” Sirius mumbled to himself as he watched James’ face grow redder and angrier with every second.
“Maybe you’re sitting on my sternum…or is it a femur? What is a clavicle anyway? It is- OW! THAT HURT!”
“Sorry, Phe…BUT I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST TOLD THEM!”
“Oh wait! You’re not sitting on my sternum, femur, or clavicle! You’re sitting on my lungs-”
“NOW THE WHOLE SCHOOL WILL KNOW!”
“Wait, so you’re admitting to it?” Phoenix asked confusedly. “I was just kidding about you and Snivellus, Lillikins. I wasn’t implying anything-“
The room fell silent and Lily turned magenta, a color that doesn’t contrast her flaming hair in a positive way. She slid off Phoenix and looked like a deer caught in bright headlights. The boys stared back and forth between Lily, Phoenix, and James.
“N-no, that’s n-not w-w-what I m-meant…” Lily stammered embarrassedly. “J-just that the b-boys would g-go around i-implying that I d-d-did…w-which I d-don’t…”
Phoenix raised an eyebrow and began staring at Lily, her pink eyes glazed as if she was possessed. Lily stood there glancing from the frayed carpet to James and Phoenix. Remus, Sirius, and Peter remained silent, unable to comprehend what was happening.
“You know what, we have Potions tomorrow, so we should go to bed,” Remus said quickly. “Good night, Lily. Good night, Phe.”
“’Night…” the girls said in unison. Remus pulled Peter up the stairs as Sirius followed suit with James. Phoenix waited a few minutes before turning to Lily.
“So, you want to explain what that was?” she asked nonchalantly. Lily bowed her head.
“How’d you know?”
“How’d the boys-who are actually smart if you think about it- not know?”
“Do you think they’ll do anything?”
“Considering Snotter was going to blow up…”
“I’m serious, Lillikins. Well, I’m not Sirius, I’m Phoenix, but you get what I’m saying…” Phoenix joked. “But really, Lillikins, why Snivellus-“
“Don’t call him that!”
“Fine…why Snape? He’s a Slytherin. You’re a Gryffindor. He’s being trained by Lucius Malfoy to be another pureblood freak and he never tries to act like your friend. You’re always attacked by the people he tags after. I don't trust him, Lillikins. It just doesn’t make sense-“
Lily stood up, her face defiant by her emerald eyes reflecting pain. “Phe, it’s hard to wait around for something that may never happen. But it’s even harder to give that dream up, especially when it’s everything you want.”
Phoenix stood up as well and stood on her tiptoes to drop her arm around Lily’s shoulders. “That’s got to be the second most beautifully said thing I’ve ever heard. The first one would be when you threatened to rip out Snotter’s spleen through his derriere.”
Laughing, Lily hugged Phoenix and began walking up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory. “Thanks for understanding, Phe.”
“It’s not me you have to convince, Lillikins. You’re my best friend and even if you ran away and married that scary Muggle woman-slash-man singer-“
“His name is Michael Jackson.”
“Yes, him. If you ran away and married him, I’d still be your maid of honor, your child's godmum, your ghoul in the basement of your house, etc, etc...”
“Thanks, Phe. I don’t know how to tell you how much it means to me to have someone who takes me for me."
“You don’t have to say anything. Just think it and I’ll know.”
In the corner of the common room sat a mousy girl with brown hair and honey irises, always invisible to the naked eye.
Much unlike Phoenix, James and the boys did not accept Lily’s newly revealed feelings. Thus, a rivalry that would last for many years to come had begun. Sitting in second year Potions right before the Christmas holidays, the score was James: 0, Snivellus: 0. But not for long.
“Class, today we shall break into groups of three or four and create a potion that, when added to rather repulsive tasting food, will taste like your favorite food once absorbed by your tongue,” droned Professor Slughorn, a walrus looking Potions Master. “Now, who can tell me the name- well, of course, Ms. Evans!”
“Please, sir, the potion is Flavoridium,” Lily said matter-of-factly. Slughorn beamed.
“10 points to Gryffindor, as usual,” he said jovially, winking at Lily. “Now get into your groups-“
“Really, who’s going take the time to make this?” asked Sirius as he sat with Remus, Peter, and Phoenix; the usual Potions group. “Why can’t we just charm it or something?”
“Black, stop ruining the stupidity of this class,” snapped Phoenix as she gathered ingredients. “I just want one class to screw up in, okay? Don’t ruin it.”
“It’s not like you can help it…”
“For the love of Merlin,! If you’re bringing up the time the blob monster I produced from the love potion last year almost ate you-“
“POTTER! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!”
The dungeon’s atmosphere suddenly filled with an aroma similar to burning hair and yellow, noxious looking gas grew thick around the cauldron James, Lily, and Severus ‘Snivellus’ Snape were working on.
“What is going on? Ms. Evans? Are you harmed?” exclaimed Slughorn fearfully. The thought of his star pupil being debilitated was haunting.
“I’m-fine!” she choked as Slughorn vaporized the gas with a flick of his wand. “But-Severus-is-not-“
“Severus? What hap- oh my Merlin!” Emerging from the smoky corner was a muffled-shrieking Snape, his head stuck in the vicious teeth of a green blob monster.
“Thanks for the idea, mates,” James hurriedly whispered. “Blob monster from first year…good thing Slughorn is an idiot and keeps that radioactive stuff in his open cupboards…”
“It’s not a good thing! It almost ripped out my hair!” hissed Sirius as he gently patted his beloved trademark.
“Class dismissed!” Slughorn shouted. “Mr. Snape, let’s me help you to the Hospital Wing…”
“JAMES POTTER!” Lily screamed. She nearly threw Phoenix, Remus, Sirius, and Peter out of her way as James skedaddled up to the Entrance Hall.
“We best get to him before she does,” Remus suggested. “McGonagall won’t be pleased to have blood on the ground…”
“Too right you are, Rum!” Phoenix screeched, her pink eyes wide like saucers as she led the marathon behind Lily. The four of them continued running through bustling groups of lost first years, idling ghosts, and the upperclassmen catching up with one another. Until they reached the third floor corridor.
“POTTER! GIVE ME ONE REASON NOT TO BLAST YOUR ASS OFF THE PLANET!” Lily screamed, her face redder than her hair.
“Because Quidditch try-outs are tonight?” he squeaked.
“Really?” interjected Phoenix. “I thought it was next week…I should probably polish my broom then…oh, right,” she said quickly when Lily turned to glare. “Carry on.”
“Phoenix! Kill him!” shouted Lily. Phoenix winced at her vocal volume.
“Lillikins, take down a notch-“
“Or twenty,” mumbled Sirius to Remus.
“-just let it go-“
“Let it go? Severus could’ve died!”
“But…he didn’t. Well, actually, I don’t know for a fact if he didn’t because I came to save Snotter’s sorry ass but…”
“Why are you yelling at me?! I didn’t set a green mutant on someone’s head this year! Yell at Snotter!”
“Hey!” James shouted. “Don’t tell her to yell at me! C’mon guys! Back me up! Do we need to get magic rings and shout ‘Marauders Unite’? Get over here!” Remus, Sirius, and Peter scampered over to James, leaving Phoenix standing between them and Lily.
“Oh bugger…” she cursed.
“Well, Phe?” Lily asked snippily. “Who’s side are you going to take?”
Phoenix looked at the Marauders and back to Lily. For a few minutes, she did this, her fingers fiddling with her amiulet anxiously and her hair and eyes changing colors; she couldn’t differentiated emotions from Metamorphing under strenuous conditions.
“C’mon Phe! Think about the map, the Marauders…” urged James. Phoenix sighed and put her hands up in defeat.
“Sorry boys. You’re going to have to take my name off the map,” she said. “I’m gonna have to stick with Lily on this.” Lily, taken aback by her choice, suddenly felt guilty for taking Phoenix from the boys and the work she slaved over the previous years in the dead of the night but Phoenix’s chirpiness cut her off.
“No butts, Pictionary. And no other body parts.”
“Why?” James sighed exasperatedly, falling to his knees. Phoenix and Remus rolled their eyes and picked him up together.
“You’re such a drama queen, James,” Remus muttered.
“Really! It’s not like I’m not going to accompany you lot on the road to becoming legends. I would die if I didn’t blow something up or drench Slytherins- other than Snivel-Snape- in hippogriff dung. I’ll just be the backstage magic,” she looked at Lily and smiled reassuringly. “Shall we go polish my broomstick?”
Lily smiled meekly and looped her arm with Phoenix’s offered one. “We shall.”
The two girls began to skip up to the seventh floor until Phoenix paused in front of James. “One day, you’ll understand all of this.” With that, Phoenix pulled Lily and took the lead in their tango up the stairs.
All the while, Lily and Remus couldn’t help but notice Phoenix did not once look at Sirius and Sirius had not once said a word to stop Phoenix.
Still, the rival was instituted, the score being James: 1, Snivellus: 0.
A scuffle of feet and brooms filled the bitter, December air. The Quidditch Capitan, a fifth year Nazi named Sean Wood, ran the try-outs like an executioner going through his daily list of miscreants.
“Seekers, first one to catch the Snitch is on the team! Chasers, whoever scores the most in three minutes is on the team! Go!”
“Is the Snitch the black ball that wants to kill me or is it that red ball James just shot into the hoops six times in a row? Bloody hell, he’s good…” Phoenix asked Michael, feigning ignorance.
“Geez, take a joke! I’m going!”
Within thirty seconds, Phoenix had the golden Snitch and blasted the Bludgers into smithereens while James was leading the Chasers with 760 points. Michael put his head in his hands and sighed.
“Why do the good ones have to be crazy?”