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Shame by darkkid
Chapter 1 : Werewolf
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 8

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A/N: Chapter updated June 11, 2009.

This gorgeous chapter image is by ariana_tithe at! thank you hun! ^_^


An unnatural and yet unnervingly familiar feeling sprouted at each of the young child’s limbs, forcing vast waves of pain to consume his now crouched body. Sweat drenched his face as he screamed out in agony from the flame-like feeling that flowed through him. His bones quivered and twitched, each growing and shortening to take their desired position. The boy’s eyes filled with hot tears as his throat closed, leaving him temporarily panic stricken, for the air refused to enter his lungs. His throat then re-opened, leaving the child gasping for air as he moaned in pain. He lost all consciousness then, and the monster within him took authority of his mind.

It’s a mysterious thing, the moon is. Its beauty undeniable, yet it causes such a horrendous transformation that it could make one go mad. Its altering phases affects not only one’s mind and body, but it dominates your soul and alters it. Soon you become not only a monster, on the nights of your transformation, but a murderer.


Remus Lupin lay sprawled across the ground, his lower lip swelled and bleeding from a deep cut. He was unconscious from his night’s endangerment, and not even his wildest dreams could conjure up the adventure he had.

The ten-year old boy stirred slightly as a gushing wind rushed over his exposed body. His hands trembled as his mind tried to force him awake. Daylight quickly approached, the sun peeked out from the horizon, casting a dim shadow behind the monstrous alpine trees. Remus struggled with himself to stay asleep, but his attempt was unsuccessful. His eyes were forced open. He peered down at the cool ground underneath him. Sighing, he clawed at the earth, wanting nothing more than the ability to dissolve in thin air and disappear from this horrid life he knew.

Heaving another sigh he pushed himself slowly from the ground, only to find his quivering legs unable to hold his weight. He bit his lip, ignoring the pain as best he could, and tried again. The exertion was in vain. Giving up, he collapsed to the ground and closed his eyes, exhaustion sheathing itself over his body.

Even though he had frequently gone through these agonizing transformations he still couldn’t get used to the afflicted pain following the demented nights.

Remus stiffened as the wind continued to pound against his bare body, goose bumps appearing across his arms and chest.

“Come on, boy.”

The sound frightened Remus, he jumped and stumbled backwards, his eyes wide with apprehension. Something dangled in front of his face, something that looked soft and warm. He wanted to touch it, he wanted to feel something nice. It was a blanket. He stared at the man trying to hand it to him.

“You’ll catch a cold,” the man croaked. “The weathers a bit chilly if I do say so myself.”

Hesitantly, Remus grabbed the blanket from the man’s offering hands, staring up at his dazzling, emerald eyes with muted gratification.

“Rough night?” he conversed, pulling Remus up to his feet, holding him steady with his broad arm. Remus nodded his head in answer, but quickly stopped as pain sprouted in his temple. He threw the blanket around himself, almost smiling in delight. “Thought so. You look beat.”

“Uhm, sorry sir, but who are you?” Remus queried, his voice hoarse and bristly. Immediately he regretted saying it, knowing he sounded rude and contemptible.

“Right, how rude of me to not introduce myself.” The man grinned down at the young boy. “My name is Fenrir. Fenrir Greyback. Now, we need to get you home. How far off do you live?”

“You’re a werewolf,” Remus stated, ignoring the pending question.

“I am,” Fenrir sighed. “You’re a smart boy, you are.”

“How can you live with it?” Remus wondered. “How can you still be so… sane?”

Fenrir pondered this for a moment, then spoke. “You learn to deal with things. It’s not so horrible, once you get used to it, that is.”

“When will I get used to it?” Remus mumbled, looking down at the ground as he did so.

“Soon enough my dear boy, soon enough…” Remus didn't see the malicious smile forming on the man's face.


Remus stared down at his hands, his stomach giving strange spasms of butterflies. Not even in his wildest dreams had he ever thought that he would be admitted to a place such as the one he was traveling to. He couldn’t understand the reasoning behind the headmaster’s acceptance. He couldn’t believe that in just a few short hours he would be attending the most respected school in the region. He was thrilled and pleasantly anxious to start his classes and continue to work his way up.

A cough from the door of the compartment brought Remus back to reality. His eyes found that of a plump boy already wearing his school robes. The boy looked down, his cheeks a faint pink.

"Is there…room, you know, for one more?" the boy asked, his eyes still averted.

"Yeah," Remus said. He noticed that his voice sounded hoarse and scratchy. He rarely talked to anyone anymore. "There's room."

"Thanks," muttered the boy, claiming the spot closest to the compartment's sliding door and as far away from Remus as humanly possible. "I'm P-Peter."

"Remus Lupin," Remus replied, though he hardly felt the need for an introduction. He had already told himself that befriending anyone would be ridiculously stupid. He was a werewolf and he was meant to be alone.

The minutes drew on in complete silence. Remus checked his watch several times, wishing that the train would leave the station. Whenever someone stalled outside his compartment he half expected them to burst in and tell him that the headmaster had changed his mind and demanded that he headed home immediately.

Whilst casting a glance down at his watch again, Remus jumped when a knock came from the door. It slid open, revealing a tall boy with wild, jet black hair. He looked from Remus to Peter, and back again.

"You mind if I sit here?" he asked, his voice much louder and more confident than Peter's had been.

"Help yourself," Remus muttered, taking another look at his watch. Three more minutes…

"I'm James Potter," the boy announced, sitting opposite of Remus. "First year, of course, and an aspiring quidditch player!" At this he puffed his chest out proudly. Remus had to hold in a laugh at the boy's introduction. It sounded as if he had spent a long time practicing it in front of a mirror.

"Good for you," Remus answered promptly, avoiding eye contact as best as he possibly could. James' smile faltered slightly, looking taken back. He then turned his eyes to Peter.

"I've seen you before," James said loudly. "You were in the Leaky Cauldron last week, you kept dropping things while waiting for your mom."

"What? Oh, yeah," Peter muttered, his cheeks glowing pink again. "Yeah, that was me." James turned back to Remus, his mouth open as if about to say something, but he was interrupted by the compartment door being pushed open again. A boy with dark hair that curled at his ears stood there, his wand clutched tightly in his hand.

"Everywhere else in this place is crowded," he said. "Would you mind if I steal a spot here?"

"Of course not," James answered. "I'm James Potter, by the way. First year and an aspiring quidditch player." It looked as if he resisted the urge to puff out his chest again.

"Nice to meet you, James," Sirius answered, sliding into place beside Remus. Remus was forcing his eyes to stay down, the last thing he wanted was for these people to start talking to him. "You can call me Sirius."

"Do you know spells, then," James asked excitedly, nodding to Sirius’ wand.

"A few, but nothing spectacular," Sirius answered. Remus had the feeling he didn't answer truthfully. Minutes after he had arrived, he had seen this exact boy brandishing his wand around, hitting a young girl with a curse that made small boils sprout from her cheeks. Remus had tried a few spells, but none of them seemed to work properly. He figured it was the werewolf in him that was preventing him from doing such tasks.

With a small lurch the train began it's journey to Hogwarts. Remus almost smiled in delight.

"What do you suppose Hogwarts is like?" James asked.

"I hear it's great," Sirius said. "The staircases move!"

"How are you sorted?" Peter squeaked. He seemed almost too frightened to speak up, his cheeks still a faint pink.

"Well, they say it's something difficult," James said. "Like you have to duel the Headmaster or something."

"I bet I could take him." Sirius' voice sparked interest as he leaned forward. "Even without a wand."

Remus didn't add his input. He found it highly illogical for them to duel the Headmaster, seeing as half the new students couldn't even hold a wand right. Silence stretched on as they waited for a comment from him, but he left his lips tight and sealed.

"You said you want to be a quidditch player," Peter said, his voice more confident than before. "What position?" It was obvious quidditch was a juicy topic for them, because they all bent forward, grins playing on their faces.

"I personally like being Chaser. I'm always playing with my cousins," James boasted

Remus sighed and settled farther into his seat and turned his eyes to the window, hoping that Hogwarts wasn't as far away as he had read it was…

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