Five days passed and James had not had a single word with Lily and Harry. Whenever they had duty, Lily would take a separate route from James. In classes, James would sometimes catch Harry’s eye but Harry avoided. Lupin quickly forgave him but kept a close watch on him.
During Transfiguration, Lily and Harry worked on changing the color of their iguana. They should change it into aqua, which they have already done. Sirius and James were struggling with theirs, seeing all it did was twitch.
“Stupid iguana,” Sirius muttered under his breath. James wasn’t listening to him. He watched Harry and Lily in their table. They weren’t talking to each other. Sirius was tapping the iguana impatiently with his wand but James didn’t care. He saw Lily, all quiet and sad. Harry was staring quietly at the iguana. Somehow, James felt guilty. He knew it was his entire fault. Harry made him feel guiltier.
Harry was his son. Harry will be his son. James didn’t really know much about Harry, seeing that Harry didn’t say much. Honestly, James didn’t know what made him believe Harry was his son. Sure, the looks might’ve proved it but to others that’s not enough. He had a certain trust in Harry…
Trust…
Then why doesn’t he seem to trust his son anymore? Why does he think that Harry likes his mother in a different sort of way? He’s not usually like this. Ever since he drank the pumpkin juice, he had been acting strangely but he didn’t mind. James knew he had to apologize to Harry. He had to be a good father to his son.
“Prongs…” Sirius said but he ignored.
There was Lily. Harry said that Lily was his mother. Lily was someone who you could trust. In six years, James had already observed her every move and attitude. She was high-tempered, somehow snobbish and strict. But in majority, Lily was kind, gentle, loving and…
Honest…
“Do you love me that much, Lily?” he asked.
“Yes, very much indeed,” she said.
“You wouldn’t replace me with someone else?”
“Not in a million,”
James smiled as he remembered that memory. He knew he was important to her as she was to him. Lily and Harry are the only family James had as his father died the summer before seventh year. His mother was sick and he didn’t know how long she’d last.
“Prongs,” Sirius said more urgently. James ignored this too.
He knew that Lily and Harry weren’t doing anything wrong but he couldn’t understand why he was suddenly tempered with them. It wasn’t fair, he knew that. He hadn’t been fair with them.
“Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed.
“What?!” James asked, irritated.
“THE IGUANA’S INFLATING!” Sirius shouted. James saw the iguana, bubbling up into the size of a balloon.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” James asked.
“I called you but you ignored me!” Sirius said frantically. The class was looking at them. Some laughing, others gasping while others didn’t care. Harry merely stared at them while Lily had her back on them. James knew what to do.
“Finite Incatatem!” he said, pointing his wand at the iguana. The iguana immediately shrank to its normal size. Sirius breathed in relief.
“Good thinking Mr. Potter!” Flitwick said out of nowhere, “Very impressive! Even though you weren’t able to do the task, you impressed me with your thinking! Clever indeed!” he said. Girls were giggling while Lily didn’t care. Harry just shrugged and removed his eyes from them.
---0000----
“Your birthday’s in four days I think,” Harry said.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Lily answered. She and Harry were in the library. In the proceeding days, she found herself spending more time with him than the Marauders ever since James yelled at her.
“Are you okay Lily?” Harry asked.
“Yeah,” she said. Harry frowned and continued reading his book. Both of them were rather struck by James’ accusation. They had this unspoken agreement not to mention it. Harry on the other hand, felt sorry for his mother. He knew it was his entire fault.
If only I could do something mum, he thought. Harry wanted to see his mother happy. Ever since he got over the spell, all he wanted was to see was an image of a happy family. He had longed for that for many years. The Weasleys were a family to him but he never experienced the hug of his mother and the pat on the shoulder by his father…until now.
He suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve.
“What?” he asked.
“Let’s go,” she said.
“But I thought-“
“Come on,” Lily whispered sharply. He obeyed his mother and followed her. They walked to the farthest book shelf and stopped.
“Sirius is here, that’s why I had to,”
“But Sirius-“
“Come on Harry, if Sirius is there, who’s next?” Lily asked.
“James,” Harry answered. Lily nodded her head and went ahead of him when she bumped into someone. All her books fell…
“Watch it!”
“Sorry!” Lily said. She grabbed all her books and her eyes saw the person in front of her.
James blinked and noticed it was Lily who bumped into him. She stood up quickly and walked away. He grabbed her hand…
“Lily, wait!” he said. She tried to pull.
“Get off me!” she screamed. James didn’t let her go. Harry watched from behind the book shelf. Sirius and Lupin made their way thru the gathering crowd. Lily kept struggling.
“Let go of me!” she demanded.
“Lily, let me explain!” James said. She stopped and faced him, her eyes in a frosty glare.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Whatever!” Lily shouted back.
“I said I’m sorry!” James exclaimed.
“Oh you’re sorry?!” Lily said in a shrill voice.
“YES!!” he shouted. Lily pulled away from him, went to the book shelf and pulled Harry out.
“Come on Harry!” she screamed, “I knew this would happen!” James felt his blood boil when he saw Lily holding Harry’s wrist.
“Oh so this it?!” he said coldly, “I knew it. I KNEW HARRY WAS THE REASON!” he said in a voice he never used before.
“WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH US?!” Lily shouted, “DON’T YOU TRUST ME??!!”
“THEN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS WITH HARRY?” James roared.
“BECAUSE HE’S MY FRIEND! WHY? ARE YOU MAD?”
“YES I AM!!!” James shouted. Harry was shocked. He knew that whenever his dad got mad, it’s never like that. James would hex but not confront Lily with it.
“James, calm down,” Harry said. James glared at him. He gave a glare that was not like his. It was a venomous stare that Death Eaters and Voldemort usually gave Harry. Harry could feel hatred in it, which isn’t right.
“I WON’T CALM DOWN!!” James roared.
“Why the heck are you like this?” Harry asked, “Lily loves you! You know as well as I do that she couldn’t love me like she does to you!!”
“What?!” James asked.
“You know why, James,” Harry said coldly, “You know perfectly why,”
“I’m not listening to you!” James shouted and stormed away from the library. Madam Pince came.
“What is happening here?” she asked the faces. Lily brushed away the tears from her eyes and went away. Harry, all confused and bewildered, followed his father. He saw his father, grumbling and irritated as he walked the corridors. James went to the deserted dormitory and threw his books on his bed. Harry closed the door behind them.
“Why’d you have to follow me?!” James spat.
“Can’t I? All I want to know is why you are acting like this,” Harry said calmly.
“You don’t have a damn on why I act like this!” James said angrily.
“I’m your son for heaven’s sake!! Ought I know?” Harry asked.
“Son? Ha! Yeah, I forgot. You’re my son…maybe that’s why!” James said.
“You don’t like me as a son?”
“I’m regretting you became my son!” James shouted.
“I don’t understand! All my life, I’ve longed to see my father and this is what I get!” Harry yelled back.
“Why? Were you born blind?!”
“Because you died when I was a year old that’s why!!” Harry screamed. James was struck dumb by this. It explained why Harry never mentioned anything more about them. He had never heard Harry tell him a time when he first got his letter from Hogwarts.
“All my life I wanted to see my dad. People kept saying, ‘Oh you look just like James’ but I never got to see till I was eleven. I didn’t know anything much about you until I saw Snape’s memory in the pensieve! Don’t you see? This thing, this time-turner accident is actually a blessing to me. It gave me a chance to see my parents again…my dad. But…I didn’t want to see my father…like this,” Harry said quietly as he opened the door and went out.
Lupin, Peter and Sirius were at the bottom of the stairs. Harry just looked at them and kept on walking. They went to their dormitory where they saw James, on his bed, silent.
“I died?” he asked.
---000----
Two days later, Lily couldn’t help but sob on Alice shoulder. She had another sobbing session after Charms.
“Cheer up Lily,” Alice comforted. Lily sobbed unto her shoulder for a long time now. She couldn’t believe on the way James acted days ago. She was hurt…very hurt. How dare he do such thing to her?
“Lily?” someone asked. At first, she thought it was James but it was only Harry. Harry wore a apologetic and comforting smile.
“Alice, would you mind if we talk?” he asked.
“Not at all,” she said and smiled at Lily and then departed. Harry sat beside his 17-year old mother.
“I know you’re still shocked from what happened two days ago and I’m sorry you got involved in the mess,” he said.
“No, I’m sorry you got involved in our mess,” said Lily, “You should’ve never got involved.” Harry watched his mother’s sad face. He pitied her and felt depressed for her. He felt that it was his entire fault. This was the first time he met his mother and he ruined it.
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked her. Lily nodded her head but Harry wasn’t sure.
“Would you like to walk?” he asked. He and Lily stood up and started cruising the almost empty corridors. Few students were left on the halls. Some of them were heading towards the common room.
“You know, James isn’t a bad guy,” Harry said.
“I know,” said Lily.
“Honestly, I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” he said.
“Harry, tell me, how come you and James look so much alike?” Lily suddenly asked, “I mean, you’re practically like twins,” she said. Harry laughed and smiled at her.
“Well, it runs in the family,” Harry answered. He wasn’t quite sure if it was the right time to tell her that he was his mother. He can’t imagine the shock Lily would feel. Lily had the questioning look on her face.
“In the family? I mean, all the men in your family have glasses and messy hair?” she asked.
“I guess so,” Harry said, “I never knew much about my grandfather anyway,”
“How come?”
“Because…I never knew much about my father too,”
“I’m sorry,” Lily said, “I didn’t want to bother anyway. I didn’t mean to make you tell everything,” she said.
“It’s okay,” he said, “Anyway, I didn’t know much about my father, seeing my aunt and uncle didn’t want to remind me of him anyway. They’re muggles you see and they think magic’s weird.”
“Oh,” said Lily, “and then? How’s your father anyway?”
“He’s dead.”
“OH! I’m sorry Harry, I’m really sorry!”
“Nah, don’t mind it. So, he’s dead but I knew he died for me. He died when a wizard wanted to kill me. Many said my dad was a great man and, it’s too bad I didn’t get to know him well;” Harry said, “At least, now I know him…”
Lily didn’t understand clearly but she didn’t want to question him. Instead, she asked, “How come you have green eyes? Did you inherit it from your mother?”
“Yeah,” Harry said, “I did. She was a beautiful woman, very beautiful. Everyone said I looked like my father but I had my mother’s eyes. My eyes always reminded them of her, even her professors.”
Lily smiled then waited for him to continue…
“Unfortunately, she died too. She died the same night my father died. She was killed by the same wizard,” Harry said, “He was after me. My father died first and then she tried to barricade our room but the wizard got in anyway. My mother pleaded with him but he killed her. She saved me,” he continued.
“I’m so sorry Harry. Honestly, you’re the only person I know with a sad life,” she said.
“Yeah, if only I could steal shinning moments from a normal person’s life,” he said sadly, “Sometimes, I find myself blaming me for it. If I wasn’t born, they would’ve never died. They would’ve lived.”
“But Harry,” Lily said, “I’m sure they didn’t regret saving you. I wouldn’t have too if you were my son. I would’ve saved you from whoever that was. Don’t blame everything on yourself.”
“I miss them more than anything in the world,” Harry said, “I want to thank them for what they’ve done for me…thanks so much mum and dad.” Lily smiled at Harry. Somehow, she felt touched with what he said. It was like he said it to her.
She hugged him, like a mother would give her son. Harry was surprised but he hugged her back. This was the first time his mother hugged him and Harry felt suddenly emotional. Her hug was full with the love he had longed for 16 years. All his life, he wanted his mother to hug him and now he got it. He didn’t want to let her go.
“I knew it,” said a voice. Harry and Lily separated and saw James, with bloodshot eyes. His eyes were filled with hatred and coldness.
“James, it’s not what you think-“
“Don’t explain!” he roared, “I don’t need an explanation. I’m fed up with it!”
“James, it’s nothing more-“
“All your secrets, everything personal…how come Harry knows? How come I don’t?” he asked her.
“What are you talking about?” Lily asked.
“It’s over!” James suddenly said, “I can’t take it anymore!! I don’t want-!” he fell to the floor, clutching his stomach. Harry rushed towards his father’s aid. James pushed him away and glared.
“Traitor…”
“What?” Harry asked.
“Traitor…”
“Nothing happened, don’t be an idiot-“
James stood up and glared at both of them. He looked at Lily…
“It’s over!” James said, “We’re finished!”
“WHY?!” Lily shouted. James didn’t answer but clutched his stomach and groaned. He felt nauseous but his mind said to break her heart.
“I WANT IT OVER! SO YOU AND HARRY CAN CELEBRATE!” he screamed and ran away, leaving Lily in tears. Harry was struck dumbfounded. He wasn’t able to speak. Shock emerged thru his body and felt confusion stream thru his veins. Lily was still in tears and she couldn’t believe what she had just heard.
James clutched his abdomen and felt intense pain. He groaned as he leaned in a nearby wall in the corridor. He just broke Lily’s heart. When he saw Harry and Lily hug, it made him so mad. His mind screamed for a breakup with Lily. His mind said she was double-crossing him with Harry.
His mind…
James was filled with sweat and tears. He didn’t know if he was sick or something. He ran towards the common room where he found his three friends. The moment he arrived, he collapsed on the floor.
“Prongs!” Sirius gasped. He and Lupin lifted James and placed him on the couch. He opened his eyes.
“What happened?” Lupin asked. James told him everything. He was weirded out. He realized he told Lupin everything with hatred and made it sound as if it was Lily and Harry’s fault. He felt his head ache. Sirius groaned while Peter widened his eyes.
“You broke up with her? Just because of that?” Lupin asked.
“Yeah. Who’s to blame? Me?” James asked. Lupin studied his face and said nothing. James could feel Lupin boring thru him. He felt like being examined.
“Do you know what day it is tomorrow?” he asked.
“Saturday,” James answered.
“The date?”
“Date?”
“Prongs, tomorrow is January 30,” Lupin said.
“So?”
Remus sighed. Sirius face lightened and faced James.
“James, its Lily’s birthday tomorrow,” he said, “and boy, you gave her one hell of a birthday present.” Peter whimpered while Lupin shook his head.
James stared at the ceiling.
“Damn it,” he muttered.
A/N: James is getting paranoid. He’s getting crazy I guess. Ever want to know what’s making him act stupid or you already know?
Anyways, the ending is near. Suggestions are always welcomed. I have a plan already but I can open up. I just wish things would become alright already but that’s life. So, please read and review!
Write a Review The Tale of Two Potters: Chapter Twenty-Six: Something's Definitely Wrong with You