Chapter 1 : Weak
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It’s true. My brother… he’s gone. He’s never going to laugh again. He’s never going to pull another prank again. He’s never going to state some ridiculous joke again. I would never be able to say, “Fred and George!” anymore. The lump in my throat tightened.
Fred Weasley was dead.
I still can’t believe it. I didn’t believe it when I saw him lying on the ground motionless. I didn’t believe didn’t believe them when I saw his lifeless eyes staring up at each and every one of us. I didn’t believe it when I called out his name along side George.
I can see him sitting on a bench all alone. He was staring at nothing. People passed him, but he never took notice. I doubt he was even staring at the wall. He was tearless, and that was the worst part. My mum and my brothers all tried to talk to them, but it was to no avail. George refused to talk.
I didn’t blame him, either.
Laying my head on my mum’s shoulder seemed like the only choice for me right now. I don’t know what to do. The war is over. Voldemort is gone. That didn’t mean everything was alright.
Tonks and Lupin are gone, too. It’s impossible. Those two… they were the perfect team. They were unstoppable. They had a son. They had a son, for Merlin’s sake!
It seems that life is unfair. And it is.
Life was supposed to be perfect now. Then why wasn’t it? Why do I feel like I wanted to cry, but I can’t? Why do I feel like I wanted to crawl in a little hole? Why do I just want to disappear?
Oh, that’s right. It’s because some of the most important people in my life… I choked. I couldn’t finish my thought.
I didn’t want to think about the happy things. It seemed impossible to do so. I also didn’t want to think about the sad things. That was impossible, too. I wish I could shut my mind off.
It seemed the lump in my throat didn’t want to go away. I tried to swallow it; it didn’t work.
I needed out. I needed out right now. I needed to get away – even if it was just a walk around Hogwart’s courtyard.
No, I thought, I would see even more painful images. I didn’t need that right now.
That was when I felt it. It was that familiar pull of my stomach again whenever he was around. Then, I just knew that he was near. Whether I could see him or not, I knew he was there.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk to him right now.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone, actually.
I thought that sleep was the best option. It was the perfect option. I could shut my mind off, and I didn’t have to talk to anyone. Right now, I wanted to be selfish. I don’t want to help anyone recover from the war. All I need is half an hour of sleep. Just give me half an hour, and I’ll rebuild Hogwarts by myself, if you want.
I kissed my mother’s cheek and stood up. I told her I needed rest. She gave me a knowing smile and tucked some of the hair out of my eyes. I gave her a grateful look and began to walk toward the Grand Staircase.
I tried to block out all the images of the bodies of my closest friends out of my mind as I walked past each table.
As I passed Luna, her wide eyes showed utter kindness. She patted my arm and said in her small, sweet voice, “He did it.”
I closed my eyes and forced a smile. “It’s over.”
I continued walking after giving her a weak smile and as I began to ascend the stairs when I felt it again.
It was that same pull in my stomach again and I immediately looked around.
As tired as I was, I whispered his name. My voice flowed through the empty hallways like a sweet song. As his name rolled off my tongue, I felt sudden warmth.
It was annoying. He didn’t need to hold me or to kiss me or anything else. Yet he still made my heart pound loudly. Just the simple act of saying his name sent shivers down my spine.
I didn’t jump when I felt his hand touch my shoulder. I didn’t say his name. I just watched him take off his invisibility cloak and gave me a tiny smile as I turned around to face him.
My heart leapt at his beautiful smile that I’d like to think he saved just for me. I ignored my heart, for now.
I was angry. Nay, I was furious. How could he make me go through so much emotional trauma in one day?
When he had “died”, he made my heart stop and I died inside. When he relived, he made my heart jump to life and I felt warmth develop in my body. When he ended it all by killing one of the most evil creatures that ever walked the face of the Earth, my heart flip-flopped and I had to do something, anything to get the jitters out of my body. So I ran to him. When I saw that he had drifted away into the crowd, my heart felt empty. It needed to have Harry again. And now, my heart was leaping excitedly at his mere smile.
I think that my heart has had enough action for today, thanks.
We didn’t move; we didn’t speak.
As I looked into his emerald eyes, all anger ebbed away quickly. I studied his face while he studied mine. I saw his perfect jaw, his perfect eyes, his perfect everything. I loved everything about him, including the new scars he had acquired.
That’s right. I used the word love. I can’t deny it, and he can’t deny it either. I’ve fallen in love with Harry Potter. I didn’t fall in love with the Boy-Who-Lived or any other ridiculous nickname they had slapped on for the man standing before me. I fell in love with the man Harry Potter. I fell for his personality, not his feats.
That didn’t stop me from pushing him. He only stumbled a little, but he didn’t look surprised.
I punched his chest and with each blow I said a word, “You – prat! I – was – so – bloody – worried! Next – time – you – want – to – go – and – die – would – you – be – oh – so – kind – as – to – bloody -- warn – me!”
I didn’t cry. He couldn’t deal with crying women that well. I’d know.
I stared into his eyes with a defiant look and crossed my arms.
It was clear that my punches hadn’t affected him physically at all.
I was amazing that I could find the strength to hit him at all. I was even more amazed to find that he could find the strength withstand my hits.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.
I didn’t waver. As if saying “Sorry” would fix everything. His eyes stared into mine and it was almost as if we were having a staring contest. I won.
And then he said my name.
That was when my face softened. As my name left his mouth the world was like it had fixed itself, if only for a little bit.
Except, I didn’t want him to know he made me weak. I didn’t want him to know that even the simplest act of saying my name made my world perfect. I didn’t want him to know that his slightest smile makes me want to faint. He didn’t need to know that he made me weak.
Then I decided to sod it all. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
He grinned at me and kissed my temple. He then moved down toward my mouth, and finally we kissed.
I am Ginny Weasley. I am not weak. I am in love.
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