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25 Things James Thinks Lily Should Know About Guys by loversmuch
Chapter 8 : We may not be able to pee accurately, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 22


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Disclaimer: i own nothing.
A/N: this story takes place when James and Lily are married.


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I woke up and Lily wasn't in bed so I guessed she was already up. I yawned, ruffled my hair, got up and stumbled to the bathroom. Lily was in there brushing her teeth.
"Morning," I muttered. She nodded in return since her toothbrush was in her mouth. I walked over to the toilet, lifted the seat, pulled down my boxers and, er...relieved myself. She glanced at me through the mirror and rolled her eyes.

"What?" I asked. She took her toothbrush out of her mouth, bent over the sink, spat the toothpaste out of her mouth, straightened up and looked at me through the mirror again.


"You realize you're peeing all over the toilet bowl right?" she said as if it's the most obvious thing ever.

"You realize it's hard to aim right?" I said in the same tone.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever," but kept glaring at me.

"What?!" I asked exasperatedly.

"Can't you just sit down and pee?" she blurted.

I stared at her blankly. "You're just jealous," I said, as I flushed the toilet and pulled up my boxers.

She laughed. "Of what?!" she scoffed.

"That I can stand up and pee," I said simply. I walked over to the sink and washed my hands.

She grinned. "Oh yeah. Sooo jealous," she said, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"You are,"

"Am not,"

'Are,"

"Not,"

"Are,"

"Not,"

"You wish you could stand up and pee," I said.

"I bet I could if I tried," she said, then her eyes widened as I grinned evilly.

"Then do it," I challenged, "Pee standing up."

She had a regretful look on her face, but raised her chin and said "Fine,"

She has guts, that girl. That's another thing I love about her. She never backs down from a challenge. She strode confidently up to the toilet, pulled down her pants and knickers and stood over top of the toilet so she was kind of straddling it..in a way. I raised my eyebrows. She sighed.

"Fine," she said.

And then she peed. All over the floor. There were a few drops of urine in the toilet, but the majority was on the floor. I doubled over laughing.

"HAHAHAHHA!"

"Oh ha ha," she said in a dry voice, "Very funny. It's not my fault men have a wierd anatomy."

I stopped laughing. "WHAT?! I just proved you wrong," I said.

She looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows.

"What are you talking about??" she asked.

"But..but..but" I stuttered.

She grinned, winked at me so I know she's just joking and laughed at me.

I narrowed my eyes. That girl has guts alright. I should have known she'd turn this all around.

"By the way, this doesn't leave the bathroom," she said.

Damn.

 

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A/N: So?? What'd you think?? WOW. Over 2000 reads. Please revieww. I know. I didn't update this story for a while and I'm really sorry. But please review, I'll update faster next time.


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