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Secretly Falling Apart by Proud Hufflepuff
Chapter 2 : Jealousy
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 6

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You're breaking my heart
Breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart again
Don't ask me to start
Ask me start
Don't ask me to start again
Start again

-Aqualung: Breaking My Heart

The dark, gloomy hall did not seem to end and his breath got heavier and colder by the second. His lungs burned from the chill as he ran and ran. Though he didn’t know where he was headed, he kept going. It mattered not his misery but more of the unknown destination that he had to get to.

The shrunken, miserable-looking heads of house elves came into focus as he slammed up against the wall. It was not the cold of the wall that that sent chills up his spine, but rather the heads he was face to face with. He shuddered at the mere thought that someone would have the heart to do something so horrible. As he did so, his eyes met heartless, black beads that were staring at him mercilessly. Bellatrix. Another set met his eyes next, these ones gray like his. Regulus.

He shot awake immediately, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he did so. His chest was burning with fear from his nightmare, but this was slightly relieved but a gentle hand on his forearm. Though he didn’t know who the limb belonged to, it comforted him slightly that someone cared enough to see if he was all right. The hand then came to his face, warming the cool sweat into a sticky liquid on his face.

“Are you okay?” The voice was soothing and calm. He immediately knew who the voice belonged to, though he was confused. The last time he was awake, he was in the Gryffindor Common Room, but Alina was a Hufflepuff. Her being in the Gryffindor Tower was impossible. With a quick sweep of his surroundings, he saw that he was surrounded by bookcases that towered above him. Looking back into a pair of brown eyes, his heart sank. It wasn’t Alina; it was his girlfriend, Trixy. He nearly gagged with disgust.

Upon more careful examination of his surroundings, those towering bookshelves were his friends. He blinked twice, still trying to figure out how he had mistaken his friends—particularly stumpy Peter—for bookshelves.

“Who’s Alina?” she asked, gently pushing some of his sweaty hair from his forehead.

“His tutor,” James said, smirking. He shook his raven hair out of his eyes, causing it to be in even more of a mess than before. Sirius waved his hand in the air as if to make everyone drop the topic of Alina. Glaring at James, who had instigated Peter’s face, red with anger, and Remus’s laughing, Sirius mouthed a profanity only to cause them to laugh harder. They seemed to enjoy his visible pain and anger.

“Is there something that I’m missing?” Trixy demanded, tapping her foot with her arms across her chest. A strand of her copper hair hung in her eyes, but she ignored it and watched the Marauders for an answer. Peter mumbled something incoherent, but Sirius knew it to be something about the fact that Alina was his girlfriend.

“No, no. I’m just worried that I’ll fail Transfiguration. I depend on Alina to help me pass,” he fibbed, making sure that his eyes met Trixy’s so that she would perhaps partially believe him. Her brow softened and she kissed Sirius on the top of the head, bade him goodnight, and walked up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories gracefully.

“Nice lie, Padfoot,” Remus teased as he sat down on the plush, velvet sofa next to where Sirius had finally sat up. James joined them momentarily, but Peter hung back, obviously angered. His watery eyes seemed to be icy rather than warm with friendliness. Quickly, Sirius avoided eye contact with his chubby friend. The look Peter was sending his way could kill.

“Thank you,” he grumbled, avoiding eye contact with all of his friends at this point in time. How did they know that he was thinking about Alina during his dream? Did he talk in his sleep? He quickly shook the thoughts from his head and looked longingly up at the stairs that led to his dormitory. The soft, feathery, mattress seemed nice right now, especially considering he really did not want to talk about his nightmare.

“Where’s Wormtail?” Sirius growled, feeling guilty for dreaming about one of his best friend’s girlfriends. Not that it was wrong to dream about someone…it was only wrong that it was Alina who stole him from the hallway in his nightmare. Alina wasn’t his and likely never would be, as much as it broke his heart. She was Peter’s, and that was the way it was going to be.

“He went off to find Alina. Not that he’s going to have much luck. It’s one in the morning,” Remus offered as James stood up, giving Lily a strange looked from across the room. Oddly, Lily didn’t tell him off about teasing greasy Severus Snape. She simply shrugged her shoulders and went back to her book. As she flipped the pages, Sirius noticed that she seemed frustrated about something but chose to ignore it.

“Tell him I’m sorry.”

“Why? So he can just tell us that we’re pretending that you’re sorry so he’ll stop whining?!” James erupted. Sirius had never seen his best mate so angry at anyone or anything before. Even when they had gotten in trouble for something they miraculously hadn’t done the prior year, James hadn’t blown up like he was now. James retreated angrily and Lily followed him, causing Sirius even more confusion and frustration. Sighing, he closed his eyes to inform his friends that he was going to ignore them and go back to sleep.


“Trix,” Sirius said, attempting to beat around the bush. He avoided contact with the young woman standing opposite him and twiddled with his thumbs as he tried to figure out how to be honest and do what he needed. Looking across the hall, his jaw locked and his eyes turned red with rage. He shifted his gaze back to Trixy.

“It’s over, got it?” he sternly told her before stalking down the corridor toward Peter and Alina. He was playfully kissing her cheek as she wrote down a few things onto a piece of parchment sitting on her lap. Standing in front of the couple, he could feel the anger rising off his body in heat waves. His posture was tense as he flexed his fists and glared at Peter.

“This is a public place,” Sirius informed Peter. Alina set her quill down gingerly and looked at Sirius. He flashed a quick grin her way, confusing her slightly, and then turned back to his ‘friend’.

“Yeah, and dreams shouldn’t ever be made public,” Peter glowered before standing up and walking angrily through the halls, likely to go back to Gryffindor Tower.

Though he felt Alina’s soft eyes on him, he didn’t look up. He took a seat next to her and stared at the stone wall, counting each crevice of mortar as though the number would change at any moment. When her hand fell to his thigh, he felt his heart beat faster and his palms becoming sweaty.

“See you next year?” she asked quietly as she kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, next year,” he whispered.

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