Chapter 6 : Apologies
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Disclaimer: I own Lillia, the plot, and a few unimportant characters here and there.
A/N: Thank you every one who has been so kind to review! I want to thank Maddie, magicguy93, 333hesta333, and Miss_Remus in particular for the awesome support. You guys rock! Please be nice and review everyone else... On a different note, I know this chapter is quite a bit shorter than the last, but the next should be longer. Hope you like...
Lillia’s face burned in embarrassment. All eyes were on her. It seemed that her father was not the only one with great expectations for her. She knew with a simple sweeping glance around the room that each adult in the room and the Boy Who Lived felt that they deserved an explanation, but how was she to answer questions that she did not understand. They had no idea what they were asking of her. They were asking her to betray a father she didn’t even know, a father that had never been in her life. A father that had never been given the chance to be a dad. She had no dirty little secrets to tell. She turned helplessly to her only ally in the room: Remus Lupin. Surely, she had already told him enough to justify herself. She was only the victim here. She had thought that after she had confided so much in him she would be able to convince the rest of the Order that she was willing to be loyal to them. She hadn’t thought that it would be that difficult, but now standing once again in the pitiful light of the Black house all of her resolve melted away.
Lupin smiled at the group. “There is a lot here that needs to be discussed. I think that it would be best if we all went into the living room and had a seat first. There is no since in talking in the hall, but I suggest that we hurry. Hermione and Ginny will be up soon, you know how quickly they wake up when they know that there is work to be done.” There was a lot of meaning behind his words, Lillia realized. It would help her a lot if she watched how he spoke to the Order. He wasn’t just telling them that he wanted to have a nice comfortable seat before they talked. He was telling them that if they wanted any information they would have to behave themselves, he was in control. His kind smile was locked on Sirius; it was intended to keep him in particular in check. He obviously wielded a lot of authority in the Order, whether he was keen on using it Lillia had yet to find out, because Sirius Black did not seem to be the sort to simmer down when properly scolded.
The living room was considerably more comfortable than the rest of the house that Lillia had seen, but it seemed to have a slightly gutted out feeling. Where most people would have books or keepsakes on their bookshelves, Sirius had dusty vacant shelves. There were no random piles of accumulated clutter on the adorned side tables. Even though the room almost appeared to be unused, it was a large improvement from the rest of the house. Lupin, being the first in the room, had his choice of seating: the middle of a threadbare sofa in the focal point of the room. Lillia, glancing around the room, took her seat at his right. She knew that he was the only one on her side in the room. Seeing as how she had suddenly lost her courage he would have to help her.
“Now,” Lupin said after everyone had entered the room. “I’ll get right to it. All we knew before Lillia arrived here was that Dumbledore expected her to show up, he did not know her identity, and that we were to welcome her while remaining cautious…”
“That’s exactly what we are doing, Remus! Constant vigilance, that’s the key!” Mad-Eye cut in.
“But that’s the thing isn’t it, Mad-Eye? Dumbledore said that we were to welcome her while remaining vigilant, but we have not done any such thing. We have all been so ready to point the finger that we haven’t made her feel at all comfortable in revealing anything to us. We expect her to tell us everything and leave herself at our mercy when she has nothing to tell.”
It was Sirius’s turn to interject. “How can that be true, Moony? You aren’t thick, tell me you aren’t falling for any of her tricks.”
“Oh, you are the worst! Padfoot, do you really think of me as thick? I’ve taught this girl. She isn’t accustomed to the idea of having Voldemort as her father. She is telling the truth, she believed herself an orphan until last night.” his eyes went to the window. Sunlight was now pouring through the tattered curtains.
Harry, who was seated by Sirius, frowned. “Why would Voldemort put his daughter in an orphanage?”
Lillia swallowed. Her throat was so dry. “He didn’t. Apparently, I was born right after he went off to murder you and your parents. She gave me up to spare herself the humiliation.”
Sirius gave a cold laugh. “Hah. She loves… loved Voldemort. Having his child would have been a great honor to her. She never would have willingly given you up. I just don’t buy it.”
As Lillia opened her mouth to speak, Lupin held up a hand. He said, “No, this is something you wouldn’t know anything about.” He turned to Sirius “Think about Bellatrix for a second. Obviously, she had been hiding the pregnancy from everyone, I don’t know how, but she had to have been. Voldemort did not know and I am assuming that her husband didn’t have a clue either. If she was hiding it from the world then something must have been up. Bellatrix must have known something that we don’t. Why would such a faithful Death Eater hide something so honorable? You are right it doesn’t fit, but that is still the way it is”
Harry’s eyes narrowed slightly behind his glasses. “But, that doesn’t make any sense. Where is the proof?”
Lillia jumped up out of her seat and strode across the room so quickly that not even Mad-Eye had the time to react. Her face was inches away from his. “You want proof, Potter? You want proof? Well, what proof do you have, huh? I want to see your proof. You say that Voldemort is back and you expect the world to just fall at your feet and believe you because you say it’s the truth. And your proof? Oh, just Cedric’s dead body. The body of a much more talented student than yourself, which looks suspicious by itself, and you expect the wizarding world to believe that somehow you survived and he didn’t? WHO ARE YOU, HARRY POTTER, TO ASK ME FOR PROOF OF ANYTHING?”
The room was silent. No one had anything logical to say to that. The only reason they believed Harry was the fact that they knew him and they had fought Voldemort before, they knew that they could not afford to doubt him. Harry sighed before speaking. “Okay, you have my attention. You are making a good point. I’m listening.”
Lillia’s fierce glare didn’t move from his eyes. The room was motionless, everyone was waiting for her words. “You know what he is like, Harry. His very presence in a room can make your blood run cold. He is worse than the dementors. He touched you last year didn’t he?”
“Yeah.” he mumbled “He did.”
“His touch is like ice. I draws the very heat from your soul. And his eyes…” she broke off into a shudder. “He was looking at me with a sick form of love or at least pride, I can’t even imagine what it would feel like for him to look at me with the hate he must have for you.”
“ I know…” his hand went to her shoulder in a motion of compassion.
She shrugged the hand away. “I don’t want you sympathy, Harry. I need you to understand. At eleven you learned that Voldemort killed you parents and that was why you had never had the happy life you had planned for. I woke up one night and was informed that he is my father! That’s not the answer to why you never had a happy life, that’s the sentence to an eternal life of misery. I guess that in a way they feel just the same, can you see that?” Her voice went cold. “Harry, you don’t know who I am, and we have never even spoken, but we have this connection. I’m not saying that I like it, but it’s there. If you can’t see that I’m telling you the truth then this isn’t where I need to be.”
A woman’s voice cut through the tension. “Harry, dear, she sounds sincere to me.” she turned to her husband, who so far had been silent. “What do you think?”
He cleared his throat. “It seems to me that You-Know-Who has caused a lot of people a lot of trouble. I’m just sorry that he has to hurt kids, even his own.” he nodded a sad little nod to Lillia. He was obviously a trusting man. Lillia was grateful for that much. In this house it seemed like she would need as much help as she could get.
Harry gave a halfhearted smile. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you, I guess it’s hard for me to think that someone else has seen him now and understands how it felt. It’s just so strange. And you said you are a spy…”
“Oh, that, sorry.” she laughed. “I am. I’m supposed to be a spy for him. Feed him little bits of information so he thinks I’m on his side while I feed the Order every little bit of information I get from him.”
“Oh.” He glared at the adults “But I thought that we couldn’t be in the Order ‘cause we are too young.”
Molly coughed. “Well, no I don’t approve of it either, but…”
“But, it’s the only option and it’s saving her life.” Lupin finished for her.
Sirius crossed his arms resolutely. “Well, I still won’t be letting my guard down around you. I’m not ready to trust you.”
Lillia smiled serenely. “Yes, that’s the only thing I would expect from someone from the Order. And it is the only way that I would have it.”
A/N: So, did you like???? I hope so! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! lol! I love the support. The next chapeter will be a little more personal.... get ready for it! ^-^
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