Chapter 2 : 20 songs Voldie and Deathie Dudes should totally sing!
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A big thank you to D i a and Pingo, as always, since they are SO nice people, and I like nice people.
20 songs Voldie and Deathie Dudes should totally sing!:
By the beautiful (and now drunk) Hermione Jean Granger
1. The jingle to Teletubbies. It would be so cool I-, aw man, I just can’t stop laughing. ‘Malfoyie, Nottie, Goyleie and Voldie… teletubbies, teletubbies…’ Aww man, my stomach hurt so much!
2. “I’m your drama queen to night”. Voldie, you are just born for that! You are just such a bimbo! And with a big head piece and high pink stilettos. RAUW!
3. “Two hearts” I feel the LOVE! Besides the 80ies was so cool man! Voldie, I think you are good at those disco moves. Work it baby! And two hearts is like Potter’s and yours. ‘Two hearts living in just one night’.
4. “Oops I did it again” Have you actually written that song? I mean do you go around, and then when you have killed a person say: ‘Oops I did it again’? Because that’s just scary.
5. “Don’t Cha” I can imagine Malfoy, Goyle, Crabbe, Nott, Lestrange and Voldie like the Pussycat Dolls, aww man… I am laughing again. Haha. ‘Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me’ Voldie, you go girl, even though you aren’t hot. And all of you have to be in these small thingies of clothes. Haha.
6. “It’s raining men” Such a cool song. And besides you Deathie Dudes are like coming for the sky, so it is a match. And Voldie come on admit it. You like a man in just pants.
7. “World of our own” Yup, it fits. You have your own little world with Deathie Dudes, and to what I know, keep it like that. Then Hero-boy and the others of us could have lots of fun.
8. “This is who I am” Mean Voldie this is just you. I can already imagine you sing ‘I now what think `crazy him´, but I hope you understand. That this is me, this is who I am’, because you are crazy Voldie. Crazy! Like Crazy Frog! Weird-o!
9. “Ding-Dong! The Witch is dead” You just go like that, every time you kill a witch, to which I must tell is Wrong-o!
10. “Wannabe” It so fits you. Wannabe cool. Wannabe Mr. I-kill-everybody-because-I-have-like-no-life. Mmm… Us young people has a name for that: LOSER!
11. “Hung up” You and your followers in those purple spandex gymnastics suits. Wait, I am laughing yet again, even though it’s still EW!
12. “Stupid Girl” Voldie, when I say this song, I would like to see you dressed as Paris Hilton while you sing. You can even change the song to “Stupid Harry Potter”, though I don’t really like that. But hey, it is your karaoke party.
13. “YMCA” And then you 4 do the signs to! It is such a cool party song! Perfect to a karaoke party. And the sentence: “I felt no man cared if I were alive” is so dead on Voldie.
14. “Lipgloss” That song is like made for you. Singing about lipgloss, not only is it up your alley, but lipgloss you would know a lot about. I can just picture you, Voldie, with pink lipgloss. What a sight it would be.
15. “Hero” Voldie I am so so sorry, but you like have to sing that. You know Harry is a hero, and going to beat you, so yeah. Besides you can totally hit the high notes.
16. “We’re all in this together” That is like Deathie Dudes song! Go around and believe you are together. Just until someone goes spy on you, then you all go like AK and die!
17. “Milkshake” You singing ‘My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’, just be a match. I mean you must have something since you keep on getting followers. To which I must say: YOU SUCK!
18. “Sexyback” Oy! You picked that one didn’t you! Cheater! There is no way in hell in you’re ‘bringing sexy back’. Beside you don’t even know what that is! And if you are sexy then, EWWWW! AGH, man mental pictures. EW!
19. “We are the champions” Yes, like that would ever happen Voldie. That’s why you get to do this song, because it will never happen! NEVER!
20. “Greased Lightnin’” Work it! And those tight leather pants. Oh my god, I am have mental pictures. EW!
“Hermione, you are not making homework at Fleur’s and Bill’s wedding!” Harry said irritated to his girlfriend. He walked over to the table where Hermione sat at. “Hermione please”
“I am notttt doing myyy homework” Hermione said slowly. Harry looked sceptic at Hermione and looked over at the paper. 20 songs Voldie and Deathie Dudes should totally sing. Oh for heaven sake, not again! What is it with this girl and those ridicules lists?
“Hermione, why are you writing that?” Harry asked confused. Hermione just shrugged. He again looked over at the paper. By the beautiful (and drunk). That certainly explained some things! Aw man! Hermione was drunk! “Mione why are you drunk?”
“I am nottt drunkkk” Hermione exclaimed and pointed a lazy finger. “Anddd if I amm, it is nottt myy fault” Harry looked sceptically at Hermione.
“Well then, whose fault is it?” Harry asked. Hermione placed her head on the round table. This was not going to be a funny night. And tomorrow was going to be worse! And the cleaning job didn’t sound so good.
“Don’t telllll Harryyyyy thiiiiss, but seeee him?” Hermione pointed lazy a finger accusingly at one guy. “Him!” Hermione said blurredly. Harry looked over at the guy. Jason Wellington. Close friend of Fleur and a ladies man. “I tried to be niiice and sayyy noooo, but heeeee kept on giving mee theessee bubububbling driiinks” Hermione said. Hermione is nice. One would think that she of all people could say no, but no. When she meets new people she always tries to be nice.
“How much did you drink ‘Mione?” Harry asked concerned.
“One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes…” Hermione began counting, while counting with her fingers as well. Harry looked helpless at her. “A WHOLE BAG OF POTATOES” exclaimed Hermione, waving with her arms. Harry smacked his forehead. This was the first time he had ever been embarrassed by her, though he found this situation kind of funny since it was always him who got drunk. “AND” Hermione said very loudly, which coursed Harry to put a hand over her mouth. “He grabbed my rear” Hermione said through Harry’s hand.
“What??????!” Harry screamed and removed his hand. “He did what?” Harry asked. She had let him-
“Yeah, kind of hit him down and told him he had a pole up in his arse” Hermione interrupted Harry. Harry looked amazed at Hermione.
“You did that?” Harry asked unbelievably. Hermione didn’t answer; she seemed in some kind of trance. Harry waved his hand in front of her eyes.
“POLE-ARSE!” Hermione suddenly exclaimed. Harry was shocked by Hermione’s outburst. Hermione banged her head into the table. Harry flied up from his seat to prevent Hermione from hitting her head again.
“Hermione, are you okay?” Harry asked concerned. Hermione nodded violently. “It is just because you exclaimed pole-arse in front of lots and lots of people” Harry said worried.
“I am fiiiiineeeeeeeee” Hermione said waving her hands. “Just drunk” Hermione added and shrugged.
“So I have noticed” Harry muttered.
“I wawawannaaaa go hommmmmmee” Hermione whined.
“Yeah, I think that is a good idea” Harry said and began rising from his seat. He went over to Hermione to help her up from her seat.
“Whererereee aaare weee goiiiiiiing?” Hermione asked confused.
“Home” Harry said shortly.
“But I donnnnnnn’t wannnnnnnaaaa gooo hooooooome” Hermione whined and stamped her foot on the floor. She just said that- AGH! Stupid alcohol! Hermione is never drinking again.
“Well, you do now!” Harry said and pulled Hermione along. Hermione being really drunk didn’t do so much of a fight. Harry apologized to Fleur and Bill, who were very understanding. Fleur even mentioned something about un-doing her friendship with Wellington. Probably because Hermione helped out a lot with the wedding. Even went dress shopping when no one else would. On their way out, they surprisingly met Ron.
“Hey guys, going already?” Ron asked curiously.
“Yeah, Hermione doesn’t feel so great” Harry answered. It was half the truth.
“How so?” Ron asked confused. Hermione looked fine to him. And she definitely did to Harry, without a doubt. They had been together for such a long time now, so she definitely looked fine to Harry.
“I AM FUNK!” Hermione suddenly yelled. Ron looked weirdly at Hermione, before looking at Harry.
“What’s her problem? Not getting a lot?” Ron asked confused. Harry smacked his forehead.
“NO RON! SHE’S DRUNK!” Harry yelled. Ron’s mouth shaped an `O´, and then nodded. What is it with people today?!
“Ah! Hermione sleep well and Harry-” Ron said and turned to Harry. He shook his head sadly and patted his arm. “This is going to be the worst night of your life” Ron finally said to Harry alluding to Hermione. Harry groaned, while he began helping Hermione home.
Dear Manly Journal.
Today Hermione has puked 5 times. Only 4 times over me. Yes, it is a wonderful day today, because she is sleeping at the moment. I know what a great thing! I haven’t slept for now 36 hours. Yes, I do love her. At times the love is just a hard thing.
What Ron said to me last night was so true. In all this experience, has made me wonder. How am I in front of Hermione when I am drunk? I really don’t wanna know actually, but at least I don’t write very silly lists! And if you ever mention to anybody that I have sounded like a bimbo you are so dead. Voldie in proportion to me is like a silly goose. So be afraid!
P.S. In case you are wondering, Manly Journal, I have taken a copy of the list and send it with a school owl to Lucius Malfoy, though removing the name. I would pay lots of money to see his face.
A/N: Please leave a review :) Anyway... Song 1:The jingle to Teletubbies. Song 2: “I’m you drama queen to night” - DQ. Song 3: “Two hearts” - Phil Collins. Song 4: “Oops I did it again” - Britney Spears. Song 5: “Don’t Cha” - Pussycat Dolls. Song 6: “It’s raining men” - The Weather Girls. Song 7: “World of our own” - Westlife. Song 8: “This is who I am” - Troels Gustavsen. Song 9: “Ding-Dong! The Witch is dead”. Song 10: “Wannabe” - Spice Girls. Song 11: “Hung up” - Madonna. Song 12: “Stupid Girl” - Pink. Song 13: “YMCA” - Village People. Song 14: “Lipgloss” - Lil Mama. Song 15: “Hero” - Mariah Carey. Song 16: “We’re all in this together” - HSM. Song 17: “Milkshake” - Kellis. Song 18: “Sexyback” - Justin Timberlake. Song 19: “We are the champions” - Queen. Song 20: Greased Lightnin’” - Grease.
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