Chapter 4 : Chapter 3 - Home At Last
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In this chapter, I expect you'll find the content more weird than humorous. I wasn't really aiming for "funny", just a way to sort of "lighten the mood" I guess you could say. Ok, I've rambled for long enough now.
When Harry woke up, for about a minute, he couldn't understand why. It was still looked dark and he was tired. Then he noticed a feeling and sound like someone was jumping on the foot of his bed. He grabbed his glasses, putting them on, as he sat up groggily. The sight he was met with woke him up instantly.
At the foot of his bed, a dog, large, black, and shaggy, was jumping with its tongue lolling out of its mouth. When it saw Harry was awake, the dog ceased jumping, started wagging its tail wildly, bent down to Harry's eye level, and barked happily a couple of times.
The dog went over to Harry and started to lick his face, then continued its jumping, clearly saying "Get up."
The dog's glee that Harry was awake, however, was short lived, as a Healer who'd heard the barking came into the room.
"Sirius Black, what on earth are you doing?!" Sirius's cousin angrily hissed, snapping the door shut behind her.
Snuffles, who hadn't noticed her entrance and was, at the time, in the air, lost his balance and fell with a yelp! to the floor. Not a minute later, Harry's godfather poked his head up from in between the beds and was rubbing a sore spot on his crown.
"Merlin, Andromeda. What was that for?"
Andromeda chose to ignore this question. "Honestly, Sirius, your skull is so thick I'm amazed your brain isn't pea-sized to fit inside."
"As proved by the wand administered CAT scan," Sirius said proudly with a wink at his godson. "Owww!"
His cousin and Healer decided to roll her eyes and pull him back onto the bed by his ear.
"I thought you said I could leave today."
"You were told not to engage in any strenuous activity! Sirius, I think the rest of the hospital was just using the 'escaped madman convicted of murder' as an excuse for just not wanting to put up with you!"
Sirius flashed her a Marauders' grin.
Harry, though beginning to doubt his sanity, was finding this whole conversation rather amusing.
"That wasn't a compliment!" Andromeda snapped back.
"But how was my activity strenuous?" Sirius whined.
"It is strenuous when you, in the form of an illegal Animagus, take a great flying leap off a bed and onto a hard floor, landing on your head," she stated slyly.
Sirius just grinned. "Well, I am still leaving today, right?"
"Yes, yes. I've spent enough time in here though; I have a patient down the corridor I need to check in on. I probably won't be seeing you again today. Bye, Sirius," she said, giving him a brief hug. "Harry, you make sure he doesn't go crazy with his newfound freedom. He needs rest. Bye, now."
She left and Sirius turned to Harry. "You do know that in the traditional godfather/godson relationship I'd be the one keeping you in line?"
Harry snorted, he couldn't help it.
Sirius gave a look of mock surprise. "Do you mock my authority?"
Harry laughed. He had decided that if he was mad, it didn't matter. He had his godfather back, and he was going to enjoy it, enjoy finally having a real family that he could remember and didn't have to hide from the world. "No, just your ability to enforce it."
Sirius scoffed indignantly. "I have half a mind to ground you."
"You have half a mind period, Padfoot."
Lupin was back. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Harry. "I took the liberty of getting the rest of your things from your aunt and uncle's. I sent Hedwig with a letter to Dumbledore explaining what's going on here, but her cage is shrunken in there."
"Thanks, Pr-- Remus," Harry said, taking his shrunken trunk from his ex-professor, feeling a bit awkward calling him by his first name.
Sirius neglected to give the "half a mind" comment a direct answer. "So where's Tonks? Maybe we can get someone in this room who appreciates me."
Lupin looked at Sirius in disbelief. "We do appreciate you, Sirius. We'd just appreciate you more if you shut up."
"You think you're so funny, don't you?"
"And, apparently, I'm not the only one." Remus pointed to Harry, who was shaking with silent laughter.
"Yeah, we'll see how funny you find this after I ground you," Sirius muttered to his godson.
"Well, Padfoot, I'm pretty sure that he won't be too bored if you ground him. You're bound to do something stupid that'll provide adequate amusement. And I won't be looking to Nymphadora for support if I were you either."
"Why's that?" Again, Sirius ignored answering the insulting comment.
"We ran into her mother down the corridor. I got away, but she wasn't so lucky."
"What?! You left my little cousin alone with that- that madwoman?! What the hell's wrong with you?!"
"Nothing... Yet," said Tonks as she came into the room. "And don't you talk about my mother like that, Sirius!"
"What is this? Gang Up On Sirius Day?"
Tonks rolled her eyes. "Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Hagrid, and Emmeline are waiting outside. Thankfully Dumbledore needed to talk with the Muggle Minister, so Kingsley got the day off, because they were all that were available besides us. So whenever you're ready, we can leave."
"So I still need a guard?" Harry asked. He wasn't stupid, they weren't here to escort Sirius.
Lupin smiled sympathetically. "Afraid so."
Harry nodded and grabbed his clothes from the day before - they weren't that dirty, after all - and went into the bathroom (apparently, his godfather had been such an annoying patient that the Healers did everything possible to keep him out of their sight unless absolutely necessary) to change. From behind the door, he head "Do you mind?!" and two people snicker and exit the room he had just left.
A few minutes after Harry finished changing, he heard his godfather tell him to come out of the bathroom whenever he was finished. The younger wizard came out to see the older, dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed, stuffing on his shoes.
"Harry, are you ok?" Sirius asked once Harry had reentered the room.
Harry could tell that Sirius was still a bit worried over his "display" ...was it yesterday or the day before? Harry didn't know. "Yeah," he answered. He may not have been entirely truthful, but, for now, he was fine. And that was all Sirius needed to know, even if it wasn't all that he wanted to say.
Sirius seemed to know his godson wasn't being honest, but he let it drop. "All right, let's go."
Harry nodded and stuffed his shrunken trunk and wand into his pockets, and made to follow his godfather out of the room.
The second Sirius stepped foot outside the ward, however, an earsplitting screech shouted "Sirius Black, get back into that room!"
"Holy Merlin!" Sirius yelled, immediately obliging as his cousin came into view.
The witch's stern face suddenly burst out laughing, and morphed into the cheery face of her daughter.
Harry and Remus, who had turned the corner for a better view of the whole ordeal, were laughing as well.
"Sorry, dear cousin, but Mum did tell me to make sure you drank you potion before you left."
"What potion?" Sirius asked innocently.
"That one," Tonks replied, pointing to the only potion in the room.
Sirius made a face and sat on the chair next to his bed. "Not gonna do it. That tastes like something out of a sewer."
"Well," Tonks said, "Mum also said that if you didn't to push..." she seemed to be thinking over her options, as if she couldn't remember the exact instructions her mother had given, "this button," she decided, and pushed it.
Instantly, the bed (that Sirius had been resting his hand on, no less) folded up. And because his hand had been resting there, it had been, well, squished; and apparently, squished enough to make Sirius fall off the chair and onto his knees. "That was my hand."
Lupin doubled over in laughter and Harry was shaking silently for the same reason. Tonks, however, was shocked by what she had done.
"Oh, Sirius, I'm sorry! I must have pressed the wrong button!" She approached the folded bed, trying to find a way to open it without causing more damage.
The next words out of Sirius's mouth were "You think?"
"Remus, stop that and help me! I don't want to make this worse!"
"I doubt even you could," Sirius said, trying to keep his voice for letting anyone know his hand had just been flattened.
Together, Tonks and Remus, with some help from Harry, managed to get the bed back into a more comfortable position without breaking it on Sirius's already throbbing hand.
Lupin also managed to convince Sirius to drink his potion or more of him would go back to the "mattress prison".
"Finally!" as Sirius put it, they could leave.
Mad-Eye Moody had decided they would take the Muggle Underground to Sirius's new house, which Sirius had gotten since he refused, as a free man, to live in the house of his ancestors.
The guard and the one they were guarding found the trip rather... eventful. Hagrid had loudly complained about the trains and train seats still being too slow and too small after he'd gotten stuck in the ticket barrier (again), and Sirius had decided to "accidentally" take a wrong turn, which resulted in a few elderly women beating him over the head with their umbrellas shouting "Police!" (Apparently, the news of Sirius's innocence hadn't reached the Muggle population.) Mad-Eye had to rescue him from the old ladies and, in the midst of it, had the bowler hat which covered his electric blue eye knocked off his head. That sent most of the old women, or as Sirius called them, the "Grannies Club", into a panic, and they hurriedly left the scene. One of the women, however, found his wild, spinning, mad eye attractive and asked him to call her. With that action, Alastor's paranoia became evident, and a couple of people from the guard had to step in, even though they had all quite enjoyed seeing Sirius beat by a few old ladies. After that, Moody just about lost it and shouted "Constant Vigilance!" at least once every four and a half minutes when he thought the guard was becoming too relaxed in what was obviously an extremely "open" area.
To no one's surprise, they were all glad when they reached their destination; though none more so than Harry. He was finally home, with a family. His family.
The front door was where everyone left, except for Sirius, who was grinning like the madman the old ladies thought he was, and Harry, who could never remember being this happy.
"Harry? Aren't you going to open the door? You've been staring at it long enough."
Harry smiled and nodded, pushing open the door to his home. The place was beautiful. Harry couldn't find words fitting enough to describe it. The rooms were large and comfortable just to look at, and the walls were lined with photos of the Marauders (excluding Wormtail), Lily, and Harry. A large fireplace was in the living room, surrounded by a odd assortment of the most comfortable looking chairs and a couch that Harry had ever seen.
"Why's there a fire going?" Harry asked. It was July after all, and they had only just arrived.
Sirius shrugged off that question and said, "Your bedroom's upstairs. Second door on the right."
Again, Harry nodded, and went upstairs. He found the door in question and opened it.
"We were wondering when you'd get here, mate."
"Ron?" Harry asked in disbelief and amazement, staring at the redhead sitting on a chair at a desk a few feet from what had to be Harry's bed.
"Yeah," Ron said, getting up and grinning. "Hermione's here too, somewhere. She found out you have a house-elf or something and won't let anyone, including the house-elf, hear the end of it."
"Well, Ron, how can I actively promote S.P.E.W. when our secretary has an enslaved house-elf of his own? It's hypocrisy!"
Harry saw Ron mouth 'mental' before turning to greet his other best friend.
"Hi, Harry," she said, giving him a hug. "How's your summer?"
"You mean the entire two days of it?" Ron inquired.
"Well," Hermione said, "a lot has happened, hasn't it, Harry?"
"Yeah," Harry answered. "More than you know," he added under his breath.
"What was that?" Hermione asked.
"Nothing," Harry said. "C'mon, I'm starved." He changed the subject to answer his godfather's call of "real" food being ready for consumption, mentally thanking Sirius for his timing.
Ron nodded in agreement. "Me too." To Harry, he added, "I sure hope Hermione hasn't offended your house-elf to the point where he can't cook."
Hermione rolled her eyes, but followed the boys down to the kitchen anyways.
When the trio got there, they found Sirius sitting at the table, stuffing his face. "You try living off of hospital food for as long as I have and see what you do when you get out," he told them in between mouthfuls and swallows.
After eating, an event of face stuffing that Ron and Harry had joined with Sirius, they all spent the rest of the day helping Harry get moved into his new room (not that there was really much to do there), playing various wizarding games, and listening to Sirius tell tales about the Marauders' days at Hogwarts that even made Hermione laugh.
Once Sirius, being the only legal adult, thought they had all stayed up late enough (at about two a.m.), he sent them to bed. Because there were only four people spending the night, they all had separate rooms so far into the summer.
Harry flopped down on his bed, not remembering ever having experienced a better day. He hoped with everything he had in him that this life would never have to end, but he knew better. But that didn't stop all of his hardships from seeming to be nothing more than a distant memory.
A/N: In case anyone is wondering, and if I don't get around to mentioning this all later, Remus sent an owl to Dumbledore because Dumbledore hadn't been clued in on what was going on at St. Mungo's or with Harry. Dumbledore wanted Harry to stay at his aunt and uncle's until his birthday, at least, but Sirius felt that if Harry didn't want to stay at the Dursely's, and since Lily and James had named him Harry's guardian, that Harry shouldn't have to stay longer than he already had. Remus agreed, and went to collect Harry. Dumbledore isn't very happy with this arrangement, as you can probably imagine, but is powerless to stop it from happening because the Ministry isn't going to side with him when the Potters' will says otherwise and they had just found out they imprisoned an innocent man for twelve years, so Dumbledore, for the time being, is letting it go. This is because, now that Sirius is free and the Ministry doesn't want too many people pointing fingers at them for wrongful imprisonment (who would?) there is no way that Dumbledore could legally make Harry stay with his "relatives" without Harry's consent. And FYI, the Dursleys aren't such jerks when Sirius is alive, because Vernon is†very intimidated by a mad mass murderer, which he believes Sirius is.
Wow, I usually don't blab on and on like that... Sorry if I bored you with all that. Just hope the chapter's a bit better now.
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