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Scream My Lungs Out by Missus Moony and Padfoot
Chapter 34 : It's My Heart and I'll Be Cranky If I Want To
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 28

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A/N:  Missus Moony:  So, um, we didn't fall off the face of the earth, we swear!  Missus Padfoot:  Yeah, we really apologize for not posting since July - we feel like scum.  Missus Moony:  It's just that school and color guard have started up for us again and we pretty much have no lives.  Missus Padfoot:  We know that that's a pretty lame excuse because we now are roommates in the same apartment, but we apologize nonetheless.  Missus Moony:  But this chapter's good and we hope you like it!  We're getting back into the swing of things, so expect more chapters faster, okay?  Missus Padfoot:  Loves to all!

Chapter 34: It's My Heart, and I'll Be Cranky If I Want To

“So, there I was, just trying to do my job and spread the news, when I ran into Sirius! He was just standing there, talking, and I barely realized he was there until after Derrick and Carol left – you know those two Slytherins who really are okay – and then it was like I had seen him for the first time: his deep, dark gray eyes that just seem to be pools of -”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and quickly suppressed her smirk as Marissa gushed about her encounter with Sirius Black later that evening. Marissa, Rebecca, and Lily were all sitting on their beds (Lily, on her old bed) in the seventh-year girls' dormitory, each doing their own thing before they all went to bed: Lily was working on the menus for the Yule Ball (she was trying to charm them so that the fancy rose border would grow intricate tiny gold vines every time someone opened the menu), Marissa was giving herself a pedicure with her wand, and Rebecca, who had been sketching in her sketchbook and was now bored, had transfigured her quill into a little white mouse and was enjoying watching it squeak as she tested different spells on it. She felt as if all of her pent up anger and frustration was being funneled into the little creature as it frantically squeaked, it's tiny feet tap-dancing.

Lily hadn't said a word to her about Remus. Not a single syllable! Was she ever going to tell her, or was she just going to surprise Rebecca by showing up with him at the Ball? Of course, Rebecca wasn't going to say anything to Lily about it – she deserved to be told by Lily herself.

Lily, who was deeply enthralled with her work, had been ignoring both Rebecca and Marissa the whole night because of her peaking stress, though it was with great difficulty. She couldn't concentrate for the life of her because of all the noise. Marissa was excitedly yammering on and on about every single juicy detail that happened during her talk with Sirius and that stupid mouse that Rebecca had was driving her crazy...

“...and the snowflakes started falling all around us, catching on his beautiful, long eyelashes -”

“Will you guys keep the noise down?”

Lily had finally emerged from her work to give her friends a pleading look, her stress level peaking.

Rebecca looked up from her now color-changing mouse to shoot a nasty glare at Lily. “If the noise bothers you so much you can leave!” snapped Rebecca as she pointed at the door. “No one's stopping you.”

Marissa raised her eyebrows at Lily, who was very taken aback, shocked at Rebecca's sudden outburst. A thick tension filled the room as Rebecca glowered back at the mouse and Marissa and Lily shared a confused glance.

Trying to ease the steely silence, Marissa cautiously continued, “Anyways, back to me and Sirius – I couldn't believe it when I started bawling my eyes out, but then he put one of his strong, chizzled arms around me to comfort me and -”

“Why didn't you tell me?!” burst Rebecca as she leaped off the bed angrily, giving Lily a stony glare as Rebecca's purple mouse went flying across the room, landed with a tremendous squeak on the floor and darted into one of the holes in the stone wall.

Marissa, whose mouth was wide open mid-word, slowly pursed her lips together and raised her eyebrows at Lily again as if to say, “Jeez, what did you do?”

Lily, who at first was completely confused at what Rebecca was yelling at her about, felt her stomach drop unpleasantly, like she was taking the first giant plunge on a roller coaster.

“You found out about me and Remus didn't you?” Lily sighed as she winced, not wanting to meet her friend's piercing scowl.

Marissa's accusatory look on her face immediately turned to something that was a mixture of pure astonishment and slight horror.

“Wah ho ho! Did you just say you and Remus? Remus?!” exclaimed Marissa, holding up her two pointer fingers as if to try to stop the madness. “Lily, the whole reason why we tried to break up James and ol' Fatnee Daphne was to get you and James together! Not you and Remus!!”

Lily looked up at Marissa with her eyebrows furrowed.

“You tried to break... ?” began Lily, but she quickly stopped when out of the corner of her eye she saw Rebecca fling herself back on her bed again. “Wait, that's not important right now, I'll deal with you later.”

Lily gave Marissa a pointed look as Marissa laughed sheepishly and started to twirl a finger in one of her long curls.

“Rebecca, let me explain – it happened last night, and I was going to tell you tonight, but -” Lily was cut off by Rebecca, who was leaning against the wall behind her bed, her arms folded moodily.

“So why didn't you? Were you just going to wait till I found out and confronted you myself? What, Lily? You're my best friend! How could you do this to me?”

“I was wondering the same thing...” mumbled Marissa.

“Oh, shut it, Marissa!” said both Rebecca and Lily at the same time.

“Oookay...” whispered Marissa as she rolled her eyes slightly and turned away.

“Rebecca, I'm sorry, okay?” pleaded Lily who sat down beside Rebecca, who was now not looking at Lily. “Look, I really was going to tell you tonight – I just got caught up with homework and Yule Ball stuff that it kind of got pushed down on my list of priorities. I really – will you please look at me, Rebecca?”

Lily gently grabbed Rebecca's face and turned Rebecca's head to face her. Expecting to see anger and hate, Lily was surprised when she found sadness and hurt in Rebecca's hazel eyes.

“Becs... I'm not going with Remus because I like him okay? We're going as friends! You know I'm crazy about your brother, right?”

Rebecca nodded slowly. “I know,” she said hollowly.

Lily sighed. “I just wasn't really thinking when I asked him! I was desperate for a date and I really didn't think about your feelings, because honestly, well, I didn't think you'd care this much!”

“You are kind of hard to read sometimes, Becs...” agreed Marissa timidly, scared that she would get yelled at again for interrupting.

Rebecca kind of snorted in agreement and laid her head on Lily's shoulder.

“So, how did you find out about me and Remus anyway?” Lily asked quietly as she began to run her fingers through Rebecca's short, piecy hair.

“Yeah! How'd you find out about that juicy tidbit before me?” Marissa frowned as she got up from her bed, walked over, and plopped herself lazily onto the foot of Rebecca's bed.

Rebecca smirked. “What? Afraid you're loosing your touch?”

Marissa sputtered and laughed, “Me? Loosing my – no, of course not! Absolutely absurd!”

Rebecca grinned and sobered up as she shook her head and as Lily laughed. “Well, I found out because I was going to ask Remus to the Ball.”

Marissa's jaw dropped. “Wait, you mean -” she turned to Lily and it was as if flames had erupted on the sides of her face. “You mean, that you had actually bucked the courage and was going to ask him?! Lily, you blockhead!!!” And with that, Marissa smacked Lily hard on the leg.

“Wha – OW!!!” Lily squealed. “How was I supposed to know she'd have the courage? She's usually as timid as a frightened 1st year when it comes to boys!”

Rebecca frowned as she lifted her head off of Lily's shoulder and smacked her on the arm. “I resent that!”

“OW!!! Stop hitting me!” Lily pouted. “I'm being abused!”

Marissa ignored Lily's whimpering. “Wait, so what made you decide to ask him?”

Rebecca leaned forward in mock eagerness. “Well, I don't know, Marissa! Maybe it was the way the sunlight sparkled and played upon his golden brown hair -”

“...... You're mocking me, aren't you?” Marissa scowled. “Fine! See if I tell you the rest of my story!” Marissa folded her arms and looked away in a huff.

Rebecca clapped her hands together and smiled. “Great! Now we don't have to listen to you gabble anymore! You can get those menus done in peace now, Lily!”

“Oh, halleluia!” Lily sighed.

Marissa looked at Lily, shocked, with her jaw dropped in offense. Lily just smiled innocently back at Marissa. Marissa pursed her lips, but it looked as though she were bursting to say something.

Lily got up from Rebecca's bed and walked back to her own.

Marissa looked as if she were going though a deep internal struggle when she finally shouted, “Oh, please?! Let me finish my story! It's really good! You'll be missing out if you don't hear what happens at the end!”

Rebecca and Lily both laughed. “Alright, Riss,” agreed Lily. “But, please, keep the unnecessary, too-much-information details out, okay?”

“Yeah, you sound like a bloody, gushy romance novel whenever you tell stories about boys.” Rebecca mumbled. “Most of the time I half expect you to start talking about your heaving bosoms and then I remember that you actually aren't reciting lines from a romance novel.”

Marissa rolled her eyes and ignored Rebecca's last comment and looked at Lily. “Okay, I can live with that,” conceded Marissa.

At the end of Marissa's long explanation about her excursion with Sirius, Rebecca had her eyebrows raised and Lily let out a long whistle.

“So, are you guys together now?” Lily inquired.

“Are you kidding me?” Rebecca said incredulously as she grabbed a pillow and stuck it underneath her elbows. “Didn't you hear her earlier? The woman was describing snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes for crying out loud!” She fluttered her eyelashes at Marissa sarcastically.

“Well, that's the part that I can't figure out!” exclaimed Marissa in frustration, ignoring Rebecca's last comment. “We didn't kiss or anything – he didn't even hold my hand as we were walking back!”

Lily slowly sat up from her laying down position with a look of disbelief etched on her face. “Sirius Black didn't make a move on you for once in his life? Weird! Maybe you guys aren't together...”

“And it's not like you guys actually said that you were together again, you guys are just going to the Ball together, right?” Rebecca said thoughtfully.

“Right...” Marissa replied cautiously.

“Well, isn't that what you wanted in the first place? To just be friends and not have the commitment?”

Marissa bit her bottom lip as she thought. Is that what she wanted? Now she didn't even know what to feel or think anymore...

“I'm sure you'll figure it out soon, love,” said Lily bracingly, as if she knew what Marissa was thinking. Lily got up and put her arm around Marissa. “Just give it some time, okay? You don't have to rush into anything.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, guys,” Marissa murmured.

Suddenly, Rebecca got up off her bed and headed toward the door. “Well, I'm going to go sneak some chocolate from the kitchens. I'll be back.”

“Okay,” replied Lily as her eyes trailed after Rebecca, slightly worried. “Hey, Becs?”

Rebecca stopped, her hand on the doorknob and looked at Lily.

“You still mad at me?” Lily asked timidly.

Rebecca closed her eyes and opened them slowly. “No,” she said quietly with a small shadow of a smile. 


After leaving the kitchens with a platter of chocolate, (the House Elves were rather exuberant to actually have someone visiting their kitchen this late at night), Rebecca wandered the corridors for a bit, until she found a satisfactory section of floor, and, casting a cushioning charm, settled herself down for a good pitying party. She'd only eaten a couple chocolate biscuits when she heard the telltale sound of footsteps down the corridor. Judging by the sound of the footfalls, it was too steady to be Filch and too heavy to be McGonagall, so that left just a Prefect.

Rebecca continued to eat her platter of chocolate, knowing that whichever Prefect she encountered, she would be able to stay out of trouble, mostly due to their fear of her repercussions. It wasn't until the footsteps stopped right in front of her and addressed her, that she finally looked at the person patrolling the corridors.

“You know you're not supposed to be out here past curfew, Becs.”

Rebecca stared at her smirking brother with a bland look.

“So report me.”

“I wouldn't report you. 'Cause then I'd have to worry about you finding a way to smother me in my sleep! I was just warning you in case Filch came by.”

The raven-haired girl merely shrugged her shoulders in response, and continued to demolish the chocolate sitting on her lap.

James knew, that no matter how detached his sister like to act, she hated getting detentions as she saw them as a complete waste of time. Looking at her closely, James noticed the slightly slumped shoulders, the platter of chocolate, and her carefully veiled look of sadness. James hadn't been a twin for seventeen years to have not been able to read his sister like a book.

“So, how do you feel, sis?”

Rebecca looked up again at her brother, not surprised in the least that she wasn't able to hide her true feelings from her twin.

“Like hell.”

James, not surprised that he had guessed correctly, nodded in acknowledgment before turning and sliding down the corridor wall to rest next to his sister. “Join the club.”

After a few minutes of silence, James quietly asked, “So, I assume you heard about Remus and Lily?”

Rebecca snorted. “Obviously. Why didn't you ask her? You going with Lily would have solved all of my problems!”

James huffed and glowered at the wall. “Well, I would have, and was about to, but then Remus told me Lily had just asked him!”

Rebecca bit savagely into a piece of chocolate.

“Look at us - some Gryffindors we are. The Potter twins, too scared to tell the people they fancy how they feel!”

James snorted in agreement, and the two of them fell silent and only the sounds of Rebecca unwrapping a truffle interrupted the quiet corridor.

A thought suddenly struck James and he excitedly turned to his twin.

“I just realized why the two of us have such a hard time with dates!!”

Rebecca merely stared at James, still eating a truffle. “And what epiphany has struck you at the moment?” she questioned blandly.

“Well, just look at us! I mean, take you for example, you're not going to get any guys with a flat chest like yours!”


“Now, now, Becs - think about it! I mean, I'm not saying I don't have faults myself - take a look at my knees! I've got these ghastly knobby knees!” Giving himself a once-over, James grinned. “But other than that I think I've got a perfect body!”

Rebecca's tinfoil wrapper then promptly hit him in the nose.

“You wanker! 'Perfect body' my arse!! You got that awful birds nest for hair, rotten eyesight, and no muscle definition to speak of!”

James squawked in indignation. “I do too have muscle definition!”

Rebecca ignored his protest as easily as James had ignored hers. “And besides, boys do like my flat chest!”

“Which ones,” James snickered, “the homosexual ones?”

Rebecca slapped James on his knobby knee. “Well, just for that, I hope your daughter gets cursed with a flat chest, too!!”

“Good, that way I don't have to worry about getting rid of any guys chasing after her!!”

Growling, Rebecca glared at her brother, though, there was no heat behind it. “Well, get used to chasing down homosexual boys then!” Rebecca shot back nastily. “And I hope your son inherits your ghastly knobby knees, your terrible eyesight, and your impossible to tame hair!!!”

“Ouch, why don't we talk about something else, this conversation is making me feel worse!”

Rebecca pouted as she ate another chocolate. “You started it, making fun of my perfectly sculpted chest!”

Groaning, James rubbed his eyes wearily. “In all honesty, I really don't want to talk about you chest, Becs!”

Grinning in victory, Rebecca turned back to her chocolates, and James thought about their situation. “You're right, we do make quite a pair.”

The two lapsed into silence, sitting in the darkened corridor.

Suddenly, James found the perfect solution to their date problem.

Jumping up from the floor, James knelt on a knee and posed dramatically.

“Rebecca Orinda Potter, will you graciously accompany me to the Yule Ball?”

Rebecca stared at her brother in shock.

“That sounds a bit incestuous.”

James merely waved his hand dismissively. “You know what I mean! Come on, we both need dates, and neither on of us want to deal with the whole asking process anyways!!”

Rebecca gave her brother a searching look.

“Are you sure you want to go to the Yule Ball with your sister?”

James gave Rebecca a soft smile.

“Yes, I'm sure.”

After a moment of contemplation, Rebecca nodded her head in agreement, and James plopped himself back against the wall.

“You know,” she mentioned casually, “I have the best twin brother in the world, knobby knees and all.”

A/N:  Missus Padfoot:  We almost forgot!  Our spotlight reviewer this week goes to ConfessionsofaShopaholic!!!  Yay!  Missus Moony:  Your review absolutely blew us away!!!  Thank you for being such a passionate fan and letting us know how much you love our story!  Missus Padfoot:  We honestly can't tell you how much your review meant to us, so thanks!  Woot!  You're amazing, dahling, simply amazing!  Missus Moony:  Please let us know how you liked the chapter, guys, we're really curious.  We love you all to pieces!!!  Missus Padfoot:  MWAH!!!!

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