I want to first take the time to thank everyone.
I’ve been writing about the lovely Miss Lovette Luclare for the past year and some.
Together, my stories have added to be 352 pages long, and 119,931 words. I can honestly say that I have had the best time writing this story. It has really meant a lot to me. And I thank every single one of my readers for, first and most, reading my story. Thank you to the people that have reviewed at any point in time about my story; you’re feedback was what 95% of the time kept me going. And to my lovely banner-makers. My story wouldn’t be half as good without the kickass banners you’ve made!
Oh God, I’m crying now. Thanks lol. I really never thought that this would get to me so easily. I guess its because I’ll never be able to write about these OC’s...my babies! Lol. They really took on personalities of their own, I’m just the writer.
And my new story will start on October the 1st. I need to take a break, I kind of need one after a year!
So, I shall not deprive you any longer from your reading.
Please enjoy the conclusion of the Life Dissertation and Continued Chronicles of Lovette Luclare...
Lovette could feel the icy particles bowing beneath her shoes as she made her way through the cemetery. With each step, the snow seemed to make her whole body numb. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t even know why she had bothered to show up.
It had been fifteen years since she had last been in the village. And Lovette could never recall a time that she had seen its graveyard; in the time that her friends lived in the town, she had never thought it necessary she visit it. Besides, fifteen years ago, she had never known any of the souls buried beneath it’s frozen earth.
But now, that was different.
Now, Lovette knew two of the bodies that lie below her feet.
They had been there for a decade and a half...but never had Lovette gone to see them.
Not until now.
“Lovette Orenda Luclare.” Was it the chill in the winter breeze that had caused Lovette to cringe, or the voice she had not heard in so long?
Yes, the tone was familiar. She had listened to that same voice from the tender age of eleven until she was a young foolish woman of twenty-three. There had, of course, been the gap of time that Lovette had not heard this voice. But still, she knew it well.
He was growing old, as she was. Lovette could detect it in his tone. Even without looking, she knew he had aged a great deal in those many years. It was the slight rasping weariness in his voice that let her know that he was not the same as he had been. But she could not fault him for that. She had changed too.
Lovette turned to her old friend, nodding to him. There he sat, a comfortable as he could be on a frozen bench in a graveyard. He seemed unfazed at her curt response; almost as if he had been expecting it.
But Lovette believed she had a right to be curt to her friend. She had pulled out of the Wizarding world fifteen years ago, never wanting to be involved in magic again. It had done too many things to destroy her and the ones she held dear. And now, he wrote her to ask that she meet him here? What made him think she would come without a struggle?
“Remus John Lupin.” She returned shortly, burying her hands in the confines of her coat pockets. She did not want him to see the tension her fidgeting fingers would surely give away.
He motioned for her to sit down beside him on the bench. Lovette’s internal struggle about what to do was visible, but in the end she was seated beside him. Though as far away from Remus as she could possibly be.
“How long has it been since you were here last?” Remus inquired lightly after a few awkward moments on Lovette’s part. He knew the answer to the question, but had still asked to make a silent point.
Remus knew Lovette was fighting the urge to roll her eyes. And she knew him well enough to guess what he was trying to do. He was trying to make her feel guilty. But she wouldn’t give in. Why should she, Lovette Luclare, feel guilty? So many terrible things had happened to her...what could she possibly feel remorseful about?
“Never.” She said finally, her nose titled slightly in the air. Lovette seemed to be refusing to read the concrete in front of her.
“I see.” Remus said.
Lovette let out a sharp sigh, that sounded more like a scoff. He was not going to get to her. She wouldn’t let it happen.
“How long has it been since I saw you?” Remus inquired again. He also knew the truth to this.
“Fifteen years, I suppose.” Lovette countered, attempting to keep her tone light. She brushed off a few snowflakes off her shoulder.
“How long has it been since you last saw Hestia?-”
“If this is an attempt to make me feel bad, I’ll just leave.” Lovette stood up shaking her head in disbelief. She knew she shouldn’t have returned to Godric’s Hollow. Remus didn’t want to ‘pay his respects’ to Lily and James. He wanted to guilt trip Lovette into returning to the Wizarding world. But she wouldn’t have it. She wouldn’t come back.
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I want you to come back.” He said calmly as Lovette turned her back on him.
“Get Sirius’ ass out here and maybe I’ll think about it.”
“No! He escaped and hasn’t come to see me yet! I don’t want you to get me to come back. I want him to get me to come back. I spent fifteen years waiting for him to come back and he hasn’t! Fifteen years! And then he breaks out and doesn’t want me back?!” Lovette was now shouting, causing several birds nearby to take off in flight.
“He’s not coming back.” Remus said quietly. Lovette turned back toward him slowly, a puzzled look on her face.
“What?” She said quietly. Remus shook his head.
“He’s not coming back, Lovette...he died. A year and six months ago, he died at the Ministry, fighting Death Eaters.”
Lovette stood in silence for a moment, her gaze slowly meeting the snow below her.
It was only seconds before she had hit the ground, hiding her face in her hands as she cried.
“NO! No...no...no, please no. Its not true...its not true...” Remus still sat at the bench, watching his friend fall apart. He knew there was no consolation for the great amount of pain that was now stabbing at Lovette’s heart.
Lovette looked up at Remus, her hands sliding off of her face as the tears continued to fall. Her expression immediately changed to that of unbearable rage. Remus knew this was coming now...
“I HATE HIM!” Lovette now screamed at the top of her lungs, pounding one of her fists upon the ground with a silenced thud. She was then overcome by another wave of sobs.
It was now that Remus choose to seat himself beside Lovette.
“No, you don’t.” He said quietly, placing a hand upon her shoulder. She shook him off, turning her body away from him.
He let her mull her thoughts over. This was, undoubtedly, some of the worst news he could have given her.
Remus watched as Lovette looked up at the sky, her clear tears still sliding down her porcelain cheeks.
“What did I ever do to deserve this?” She asked, staring at the opaline clouds for an answer. Remus was unsure whether he should say anything.
“What have I done?” Lovette questioned again, her voice sounding like she truly wanted an answer. Though she knew she would receive no true resolution.
“You haven’t done anything.” Remus said, sitting closer to her. This time, Lovette did not turn away, “Sometimes bad things just happen. But if you let them go, good will come.”
“Who are you to preach to me?” She spat, chuckling sourly, “You’re still alone!”
“No, I’m not still alone.”
Lovette sat for a moment, studying Remus’ face as though ready for him to say ‘Just kidding! I’m as bitter and lonely as you are!’. But this response did not come.
“Excuse me?” She said, incredulously. He nodded, looking over at his friends’ headstones again.
“I got married last July.” He stated, fidgeting with his hands.
“To who?” Lovette inquired, her tone the same as it was for her previous question.
“Nymphadora Tonks.” Remus said stiffly, “And we have a child on the way.”
Lovette sprang from her sitting position on the icy ground. She loomed above Remus, her eyes wide in shock.
“Are you kidding me?!”
“No.” He returned, his gaze not meeting hers. Lovette let out an skeptical laugh.
“So you couldn’t have the real Brenna, so you went for the next best thing?”
“I didn’t say that-”
“But you know its true! Fifteen years ago, Nymphadora Tonks was a Brenna-in-the-making! How dare you?!-”
“I’ll admit that Nymphadora and Brenna are very similar. But they are not, by any means, the same.” Remus said, his voice level.
Lovette shook her head, placing a hand to her forehead with her shocked expression still on her features.
“Don’t lie to yourself, Remus-”
“I’m not!” He snapped, Lovette grinned maliciously.
“You’re not happy. You know you aren’t. So don’t try to tell me in hopes of convincing yourself-”
“And don’t try to ruin my view on my marriage because you won’t let yourself fall in love again!”
“You can’t fall in love twice.” Lovette countered, pointing a finger at Remus, her tone one of a victorious person.
“But one can find a person that they care about!” Remus barked.
Lovette’s grin grew wider. She found it relieving to see someone else in pain about their first love dying. It had been so long since she was not the one feeling like she had been stabbed in the heart. But inside, it killed her to ridicule her friend like she was.
“You know you can’t get over the people you love-”
“You can if you want to live-”
“Then maybe you don’t love Brenna like we all thought you did-”
“LOVETTE, GROW UP!”
Lovette immediately silenced. She had never heard Remus raise his voice like that, nor lose the control to do so. He was now standing in front of her, his face inches from her own. Lovette could see the anger boiling right beneath the surface of his pale blue eyes. She recoiled slightly. She was scared.
“Just grow up Lovette!” He shouted again, “Yes, bad things happen. But get over them. I get that you loved Sirius, I loved Brenna. But neither of them would have wanted us to be unhappy for the rest of our lives!
“Yes, it hurts. But it won’t stop hurting until you accept that they’re gone. I’m not saying you have to forget Sirius. I’ll never forget the love I felt for Brenna. But you just need to learn that they’re not coming back. Its harsh, I know, but you can’t feel this empty all the time!” Remus lectured, his voice getting calmer and calmer by the end. He now looked at Lovette with the deepest empathy. She understood that he felt the same as she did...but he was different than she was. Lovette had always had a certain personality about her that made it almost impossible for her to get over things.
“You’re being childish.” Remus said finally, when Lovette did not respond, “You’re thirty-eight years old, Lovette. I know you’ve missed a lot of chances...so don’t let the other ones pass you by. You can still fall in love.”
“I don’t want to.” Lovette said quietly, her head titled down as she searched the trodden snow below her, “I don’t want to fall in love again. It’ll hurt too much.”
“Not unless you try.” Remus encouraged. Lovette shook her head.
“Remus, I spent years wanting to be with Sirius. From the time I was fourteen years old, I have wanted to be with him. And then as soon as I had him, he was taken from me. I spent so many more years without him than I did with him-”
“Then maybe it will be easier than you thought. Since you’ve spent so long without him...you should be used to it by now.” Remus countered, though he was not being harsh. Lovette smiled a little in spite of herself.
“I guess that’s true. I’ve spent more time dreaming of being with him than actually being with him. And half the time we were together we fought. But God...it felt so right. Almost like...I’d rather argue with him than kiss someone else, you know?” Remus nodded, understanding Lovette’s explanation.
“God, I hate this!” Lovette said, chuckling though tears were again running down her face, “I hate feeling sorry for myself. I just need to stop it. I need to stop dying.” Remus pulled Lovette into a hug, letting her rest her chin on his shoulder.
“Will you stay this time?” Remus mumbled into Lovette’s ear. Though it was a vague question, Lovette knew what he meant. He wanted her to come back...to be a witch again. Or at least have some contact with him and the rest of her old friends.
Lovette sniffed, pulling away from the hug and shrugging.
“Do you think I’m ready?” She asked timidly. Remus grinned, nodding.
“It’ll be so much easier to heal with friends helping you.” He said seriously. Lovette smiled.
“Is Hestia?-” She started carefully, but Remus knew he question.
“Yeah, old Hes is still around.” Lovette laughed and playfully pushed Remus.
“Yeah and you don’t look a day over twenty-five.” She joked. Remus rolled his eyes.
Remus took Lovette’s hand, intertwining their fingers together, in their old friendly manner. They began to leave the graveyard together, smiling like they used to.
But suddenly, Lovette stopped in her tracks, causing Remus to come to a halt as well.
“Where is he buried?” She asked just as abrupt as her pause. Remus bit his lip, knowing he had to eventually let Lovette know where her lover was buried.
“He wasn’t really...his tombstone’s over there.”
He pointed, soundlessly to a grave behind Lily and James’.
Lovette inhaled deeply, making her way, without Remus, to the burial site.
She stood before him, no tears present in her eyes, and stared down at him. Lovette looked as though she were unsure of what to say as she stood there, absentmindedly playing with the silver band that was still displayed on her left ring finger.
She sighed again, smiling as her eyes mulled over the engraved concrete. Lovette kneeled before it, taking no care at the fact that her knees would soon be numb from the cold. She kissed the tips of her fingers and slowly placed them to the ground, before the tombstone.
“I’m alright, love.” She said, her voice quiet, though the smile was still present,
“I’ll see you later.”
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