If you don't readThe Life Dissertation of Lovette Luclarebeforehand, you'll be as confused as I am about why I‘m absolutely insane...
One chapter left.
Confusing?
Possibly.
Kaitlin, I miss you.
Cait, you rock. Even when the call is dropped.
Tehe. That rhymed!
Anywho, yes I AM behind on reviews. Sorry?
Lovette found herself in the dark roads of Godric’s Hollow. It wasn’t quiet, as it usually was at midnight. It was chaos. Ministry officials and Aurors were swarming the area, talking in quick tones as some shouted orders. The knot in Lovette’s stomach tightened even more.
“Sirius...” She whined under her breath, wanting him to pop out from behind a bush and hug her. But alas, that would not happen anymore.
“They were killed-”
“You-Know-Who-”
“Followers-?”
“What about the boy-?”
“Dumbledore should be-”
“What about that Black man-?”
With each step towards the Potter’s house, Lovette wanted more and more to turn around and go home. The voices of her co-workers and comrades filled her ears. They didn’t make any sense to her. Somehow, she didn’t want them to make sense.
“Remus.” Lovette breathed, trying to find her friend. He had told her to be here, surely he was looking for her too?
“LOVETTE!” Lovette whirled around at the sound of her name, her eyes meeting the form of Remus, running toward her, out of breath, looking fearful.
“Remus, please tell me what’s going on!” Lovette demanded, her voice cracking. Part of her told her she already knew the answer.
“Lily and James...were murdered.” Remus whispered his breathing back to normal.
Lovette let out a dry sob, covering her eyes with her hands.
“No...” She said, turning away from Remus to hide the tears that were falling down her cheeks. She felt Remus’ hand on her shoulder, but she was less than comforted.
“And Harry?” Lovette questioned timidly, hoping the worst wasn’t true.
“He’s alive.” He said, nodding. Lovette put her hand over her chest, relieved.
“What happened?” Lovette inquired. Remus sighed heavily, running a hand through his mousy hair.
“All I know is that Voldemort found them. He killed James and Lily. No one knows about how Harry managed to survive-”
“Where is Harry?” Lovette asked suddenly, interrupting Remus. He gazed at her for a moment, as though contemplating whether or not to tell her.
“Dumbledore sent Hagrid to take him to live with his aunt and uncle in Surrey.” Lovette opened her mouth in protest, screeching,
“What? Sirius and I are perfectly capable of taking care of a child!” Remus smiled bitterly.
“I know you’re capable of taking care of Harry...but...Sirius isn’t.”
“What?” Lovette asked again, bewildered. Remus heaved another great sigh, now annoying Lovette.
“Sirius...was a spy in the Order. He told Voldemort about Lily and James. He killed Peter...Lovette, he’s being sent to Azkaban.” Remus finished, watching his friend with a genuinely concerned look.
“Is that why...” Lovette trailed off, unable to complete her sentence. She seemed almost shocked.
“That’s why I told you to come here. Peter was just murdered over there by Sirius.” Lovette now had more tears flowing down her cheeks as she gazed at the place down the street where Remus had indicated Peter's place of murder.
“Is Sirius still here?” She asked, her voice barely audible. Remus nodded,
“The Ministry’s called the Dementors; they’re coming to take him to Azkaban.”
How could Sirius turn in his best friends to Voldemort? Why would he do such a thing? Anger started to boil inside of Lovette.
“Where is he?” She snapped, her brown eyes suddenly sharp. Remus merely pointed to his right where a crowd of Ministry workers had gathered. Lovette marched over to the congregation, wiping the tears out of her eyes, drying her cheeks.
“Excuse me-”
“Luclare-?”
“Get out of the way-”
“Lovette, I’m sorry-”
“MOVE!” Lovette fought her way through the swarm, losing her patience with being well mannered. She was already getting tired of the sympathy she was receiving.
Finally, the crowd parted, allowing her a full view of her fiancée.
Sirius Black looked completely sane. There he was standing with his body bonded, smiling acridly at the people around him, occasionally laughing bitterly to himself. As he spotted Lovette, the smile faded off of his handsome features.
Lovette stood right in front of Sirius, her brown eyes piercing his gray eyes.
“Hey Love.” He said quietly. Lovette tried to ignore her blurry vision as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Even though he always called her “Love”, it seemed to stab at her heart.
“What is your problem?” She spat, crossing her arms over her chest. He sighed and smiled resentfully again.
“You don’t believe them.” He said quietly.
“And if I do?” She argued sharply.
“You know me.” Sirius countered, in an almost pleading voice. Lovette opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to think of anything to say.
“I’m not so sure I do.”
Aurors started to march Sirius away from Lovette.
“Lovette,” Sirius started softly, but as they parted, his voice got louder, “LOVETTE! You know I wouldn’t do this!” She looked into his intense eyes. Those same eyes she had been staring into for over ten years. She could always tell when he lied. And right now, she knew he wasn’t lying.
“I know.” She said, finally, loud enough so he could hear, “I know.” Sirius grinned, causing Lovette to smile, although reluctantly.
“I LOVE YOU!” He shouted amongst the disarray. Lovette bit her lip, trying not to grin. How could she smile when her fiancée was being carted off to prison? It didn’t make any sense...but then again, the two of them never made any sense...
“I love you too.” She called, her voice constricted as tears streamed down her face. Sirius smiled sadly.
The Aurors and Ministry officials Disapparated with Sirius, leaving Lovette in silence. Remus walked to his friend, watching her impassive features.
“Lovette...” Remus said hesitantly. She did not move. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Only then did she collapse to the ground, sobbing.
~*~*~*~*~
Lovette sighed, closing the blue notebook. She had filled this one as well with her memories of the last years she had known her friends. She never realized just how many memories she could hold within her soul.
“Fifteen years.” Lovette said aloud, staring at the wall opposite her bed where she was still perched.
It had been fifteen years since she had last seen Sirius. Fifteen years since she had last seen Lily, James, Hestia, Remus and Peter. Sixteen years since she had seen the serene face of Brenna looking up at her from a casket. She wasn’t sure of who was alive, who was married and who had kids (obviously Brenna, Lily, James and Sirius didn’t have kids...they were all either dead or in Azkaban). So, the three remaining friends that Lovette had had up to that fateful night, she was not sure of how they faired.
But even if Lovette did come across Peter Pettigrew, she would probably end up in a cell in Azkaban next to Sirius for murder as well. Surely if she met him, she‘d mutilate him. She had figured out that it had been Peter all along who had been the spy. All the signs had pointed to him. It had just killed her how she didn’t figure it out before then.
Lovette had not spoken to Hestia or Remus in fifteen years. Although she regretted it, she knew it was for the best. But then again, Lovette had not used magic in those many years.
It was true, Lovette Orenda Luclare had pulled out of the Wizarding World. She did not use magic, nor had any contact with those in it. True, she still spoke to her family, but not after pleading with them not to speak of the world she had once been a part of.
The main reason for all of this?
Sirius Black.
Lovette knew she could not have gone on with so many reminders of him everyday. Even living as a Muggle, it hurt Lovette. Everything seemed to remind her of him. But, when one is completely alone, it is not difficult to be reminded of the ones we once held so dear.
Obviously Lovette had never gotten married. Not to Sirius, nor to any other man. She couldn’t fall in love again. Especially not when she still was in love. And therefore, Lovette had no children. No child to keep on her name or blood. Lovette was totally alone.
“All by my lonesome.” Lovette said bitterly, stretching out her numbed legs. She had been sitting cross-legged while writing her “dissertation” and “continued chronicles”. It had taken her several hours, causing her to lose the feeling in them.
Lovette threw the blue notebook in the direction of her writing desk in the corner of her room. But, the book merely hit the wall behind the desk, and fell to the ground. She sighed, rolling her eyes.
She stood up, yawning and stretching her arms. Had she been writing all night long? It wouldn’t have surprised her...it wouldn’t have been the first time she’d written for hours and hours on end and not slept. Besides, what did it matter if she was tired? She had nowhere to go, no one to see, no work to do. Lovette could be as exhausted as she pleased!
But, Lovette didn’t want to be exhausted. She had been tired for the past fifteen years. Couldn’t she ever feel different?
No. Lovette chose to do nothing with her life, really. She chose not to contact her friends, she chose to live as a Muggle, and she chose to be heartbroken. Well, Lovette hadn’t really picked to be lonely and bitter for the rest of her life, but she had done nothing to stop it.
“Its always my fault.” Lovette said, sighing as she slowly made her way down the stair case, “I choose my own fate.” Lovette said rather sarcastically. Did she honestly believe her life had been her own fault? No. Why? Because she was bitter and lonely.
Now entering the kitchen, Lovette robotically set the kettle on the stove, heating it up. She had found, years ago, that she was easily accustomed to the life of a non-magical person.
Lovette unceremoniously set herself on the lone chair to her table. She sighed again, impatiently waiting for the water to boil. Oh how she needed a cup of hot coffee right now!
Standing up again at the whistling of the kettle, Lovette poured the boiling water. She sighed, setting the kettle back down on the stove. She wasn’t all that sure what she was doing to be honest. Sure, she had been making her instant coffee for years, but she felt she wasn’t doing something right. So, abandoning the mug of hot water on the counter, Lovette plopped herself back down at the kitchen table.
Lovette knew she wasn’t going insane. It just happened occasionally that she’d do things halfway, or she’d forget what she was doing. Or she just wouldn’t see the point in what she was doing.
“What’s the point in anything?” She grumbled, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.
A sharp tap at her kitchen window caused Lovette to be at full attention now. She furrowed her brows. It was a familiar sound....but a noise that she hadn’t heard in and decade and a half.
Lovette raised herself from the chair, slowly walking to the window. As she neared it, she recognized the animal perched on the other side, a parchment envelop tied to its leg.
She started to shake her head at the bird through the glass.
“No.” Lovette mumbled, shaking her head. It had been ages since she had last received (or sent) a letter via owl. That was when she was a witch. Lovette wasn’t about to revert back to old habits now...
The bird tapped on the window again, looking agitated. Yet again, Lovette shook her head, scared.
But why was she afraid of a bird? Or was it the sinking guilt that started to well within her as she recognized the handwriting her name had been scripted by on the front of the letter.
Miss Lovette Luclare
Number 17 Morrvue Road
Dover, England
Please just open it, Lovette
Remus had found her.
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