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The List by Hermione_Crookshanks
Chapter 15 : Epilogue
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 202

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Oh God. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to post the final chapter. There are a few reasons why I took forever and a day…

1. I really loved writing this story. And I mean loved it. It was insanely annoying/tough at times, but all in all, it was a wonderful experience. It's sad to let go.

2. I've been deciding between three endings for the past two weeks. Seriously. I'd write one ending, then another, and then another. In the end, I decided to go with my original ending, but it took a long time for me to realize that this was exactly how it should end.

3. When I got home from my trip, I had to finish all of my summer homework, and then I started school and I was just overwhelmed by all of the schoolwork loaded on us. I had little time to work on The List.

4. One of my favorite shows (
Kim Possible - yes, I know it's a Disney Channel cartoon, and it's probably rather juvenile of me to watch it and to care so much, but it's a really well done show) just ended (last night in fact), and seeing as I've watched the show since it first aired when I was eleven, this was rather difficult for me. I tend to get depressed when shows that I love end, and it's been happening a lot lately…and this one hit me hard.

Anyway, I hope you can forgive me. And I hope that you enjoy the final chapter in this story. Like I said, it's been a blast writing it, and I can't begin to thank all of you for everything. For anyone who's interested, I've uploaded some List extras to my LJ (username: HMSHarmony). I know that my LJ is friends only, but this will be a public post. Also, I have a ton of extras, including the two alternate endings, which I will post on my LJ.

And now, on to the final chapter of The List…

“But I'm clearly not cut out to help people make life choices.”

“Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. You helped me choose you.”

that time I was a genius.”

~Kim Possible

When Harry and Hermione finally finished kissing, Hermione realized with a deafening blow that as simple as this had all seemed a few minutes ago, it was anything but. Pursing her lips, she leaned away from Harry and against her headboard.

“Well, we're definitely going to have to figure out how this is going to affect our public relationship.”

Harry's elbow slipped and he fell flat on his face. Pushing himself up, Harry groaned, “Why must you always be so sensible?”

Hermione shrugged. “The fact of the matter is that this—”

“—is going to change everything?” Harry interrupted with a sigh.

Hermione blinked. “You must be kidding me.”

“What, isn't that what you were going to say?”

“No, of course not!” Hermione said with a laugh. “I mean, of course things are going to change. I knew that the second I wrote my name. But we've been friends since first year, and even with our relationship moving from platonic to, well, this,” Hermione made a small gesture with her hand, “nothing will change the fact that while you're…er…my boyfriend,” Hermione lost a bit of her composure at this point as she felt her cheeks grow hot, still not use to the idea of Harry as her boyfriend, “you…well…you'll always be my best friend first. I mean, that's the great thing, isn't it?”

“That we'll always be friends?”

Hermione smiled. “No, that we'll always put our friendship first.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence before Harry finally asked, “Well, what were you trying to say, then?”

“Oh!” Hermione exclaimed. “Right. Well, it's just…you know how much I hate being wrong, don't you?” Hermione asked Harry in a rush, now on her knees.

“Er, yeah,” Harry said with a bit of a laugh. Hermione “hating being wrong” was a bit of an understatement in his opinion.

“Well all of these people have been telling us time and again that we should date or that we were too stubborn to admit our true feelings or see what was right in front of us. And while I'm glad that I was wrong, the fact remains that…I can't be wrong!” Hermione cried, flinging her hands anxiously. “If my mum were to find out, or worse, Ginny… Oh Merlin, I don't think I could stand it. They would torture me about it every chance they get. And I'll have to give Ginny those fifty galleons, and while I can pay it, it's the fact that I would be paying her that bothers me. I just can't, Harry!” By this time Hermione looked slightly hysterical. Harry reached out a tentative hand to comfort her, but Hermione's sudden arm movements, no doubt attributed to her stress, prevented him from getting anywhere near her.

“I…I don't really understand what you're trying to say,” Harry said slowly once Hermione had calmed down to a point where she could listen. “Does this mean you don't want to— ”

“Of course not!” Hermione interrupted with a gasp. “No, don't be thick. I just mean that, well, maybe…maybe we should keep this out of the public eye? At least until Easter has past, so at the very least I can win the bet with Ginny.”

“You mean keep our relationship a secret?”

“Yes, exactly!”

“I don't know, Hermione…” Harry looked uneasy. “Neither one of us are accomplished liars…well, actually, I'm rather good at it…”

“Excuse me, but I do remember tricking Umbridge into going into the forest instead of torturing you,” Hermione said, looking rather offended. Under her breath she muttered, “Ungrateful git.”

“But that and this are a bit different, don't you think?” Harry asked. “I mean, remember when you went into Borgin and Burkes and you tried to convince Borgin that you were a friend of Malfoy's? And he threw you out?”

Hermione turned a horrible red. “Well, I-I…I mean…”

“You can't lie under pressure,” Harry said, as gently as he could, knowing that “failure,” even at lying, was a hard idea for Hermione to handle. “If it's life or death, you come through, but in stuff like this…”

“I'll be fine,” she said stoutly. “Believe me, Ginny's enough of a motivator.”

Harry still looked anxious. “This is going to blow up in our faces.”

“Oh, I know that's a possibility,” Hermione said matter-of-factly. “The odds are most definitely against us, but I'm not one to let odds get in my way.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”

“Oh, I can't wait to see the look on Ginny's face when she has to pay me fifty galleons,” Hermione said happily. “It'll be even better when we publicly announce our relationship the very next day.”

“But then won't everyone know that we're together?” Harry asked, confused.

“It'll be worth it just to see Ginny's complete disbelief and anger,” Hermione smirked, a sparkle in her eyes that reminded Harry very much of when she captured Rita Skeeter.

Dinner that night was a rather strange affair for Mr Granger. Harry and Hermione kept exchanging glances, only to look away quickly, a brilliant smile playing on both their faces. Mrs Granger, on the other hand, who was in a very positive mood due to her earlier discovery that day, hummed throughout dinner, and even surprised everyone with a gorgeous chocolate cake she had made that afternoon.

“What's the occasion?” Mr Granger asked, who was beginning to get a bit suspicious of the goings-on at the Granger dining room table.

“I just felt like baking,” she replied cheerfully as she handed Harry a slice of cake on a small, crystal-like plate.

Mr Granger narrowed his eyes at the sugary treat.

“Don't worry John,” Mrs Granger beamed, setting a plate in front of him. “It's sugar-free, of course. I may be in a good mood, but I'm not throwing our teeth out the window.”

Harry exchanged a look with Hermione, and both burst out into a small fit of laughter. He knew that she too was imagining Ron's expression if he were faced with a sugar-free cake. Despite his own concerns about sugar-free desserts, Harry picked up his fork. It was right as he was placing a piece of cake in his mouth that Mrs Granger chose to ask the two teenagers, “So, how was your snogging session?”

Harry choked on his cake; Hermione, who had been drinking from her glass of milk, spit out a mouthful; and Mr Granger's fork missed the cake and cracked his plate in half.

Hermione took out her napkin and began sopping up the table, all the while patting Harry on the back as he coughed and began to regain his ability to breathe. “What on earth are you talking about?” Hermione asked nervously, not looking her mother in the eye.

“Oh don't even try it,” Mrs Granger said good-naturedly. “I saw you two in your room when I passed by.”

“But…but…” Hermione looked as if she were going to have a heart attack. “No!” she finally exclaimed. “You weren't supposed to know!”

“I think I need a drink,” Mr Granger muttered, looking queasy, and he quickly excused himself from the table.

“Oh don't worry about it, Hermione,” Mrs Granger said, waving her hand to show the insignificance of the event. “It's not as if it came as a shock. I've been waiting ages for this.” Instead of looking relieved by this news, Hermione banged her head onto the table and covered her face with her arms.

“Oh really Hermione.”

Harry looked between mother and daughter, not sure what to do.

“Well, nonetheless, congratulations,” Mrs Granger said, finishing up her cake. “And whenever you want my mother's wedding ring, just let me know so I can have it adjusted for your ring size.”

Hermione's head shot up. “You must be joking.”

Mrs Granger blinked. “Why on earth would I joke about something like that?”

Hermione groaned and let her face fall into her hands. Sighing, Harry placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. So far Hermione's plan was a bust, and he had a feeling this was just the beginning of their torture.

Write to me,” Mrs Granger told her daughter sternly as she gave her a tight hug. “I'm growing tired of not hearing about what's going on in your life!”

“Mum, I write to you every week!” Hermione exclaimed, exasperated. “And each letter is at least three pages. If I write any more than I’ll go over the allotted time I set aside for owl post, and that will completely wreck my NEWTs study schedule.”

“Yes, well, be that as it may, now that you and Harry are finally together, I expect to receive page after page detailing every minute of your relationship.”

Hermione stared at her mother and then declared, “No.”

“No?” Mrs Granger repeated, gaping. “What do you mean, `No'?”

“I mean no, I won't tell you a single thing concerning what happens between Harry and me, because that is personal. Anyway, you know enough as it is.”

Hermione…” Mrs Granger said warningly.

Remembering how effective it had been earlier, Hermione repeated what she had said at Christmas. “If you keep up like this you can say goodbye to any chances of grandchildren.”

At once Mrs Granger lit up and began talking rapidly to no one in particular. Suppressing a laugh, Hermione went to find Harry, who looked absolutely terrified as he received a severe talking to by Mr Granger.

“And if you so much as touch her I will carve out your eyes,” Mr Granger told him. “So don't. Just because I said you could date her does not mean that I gave you permission to lay a single finger on her.”

Harry gulped. “Y-yes, sir!”

“Oh for goodness sake, Dad,” Hermione interrupted, rolling her eyes. “I love you, I really do, but please give it a rest. Harry's not going to do anything that I don't want him to, all right?”

Mr Granger, however, did not appear comforted by this news.

“Dad, it'll be fine,” Hermione assured him, standing on tiptoe to give her father a peck on the cheek. In the background she heard a shrill whistle, signalling students to board the Hogwarts Express. “I'll see you when school lets out, all right?”

Mr Granger nodded grudgingly and let Harry and Hermione go, but not before giving his daughter a fierce hug and reminding her to take care. The couple climbed on to the Hogwarts Express and quickly found an empty compartment. As the train started, Hermione waved to her parents.

“I love you!” she called. “Take care. And make sure to use the correct barrier!” She turned to Harry. “Last time I left them here they crashed into the wrong one.”

“Your mother didn't hit her head by any chance, did she?” Harry asked surreptitiously.

“Hmm? No. Just badly bruised her arm. Why?”

“Oh, nothing…”

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”

~Ambrose Bierce

“Harry, stop,” Hermione said, tugging her books away from Harry. “I can carry them to the tower myself.” The two had finally returned to Hogwarts and they were now walking through the rather crowded Gryffindor common room in order to get to the Head Boy and Girl's tower.

And Crookshanks?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Hermione, who still felt terribly guilty about leaving Crookshanks behind for a good few months, had insisted on taking him with her instead of letting the house elves bring him up with the rest of her stuff (she had tried to bring all of her stuff up herself, due to her objections to the treatment of house elves, but finally gave in after Harry, who feared the house elves were going to murder her, convinced Hermione that she should let Dobby, who after all was paid, do it). “How do you expect to balance all those books and Crookshanks?”

“I'll just carry Crookshanks's cage in one hand and my books in the other,” Hermione explained, doing just that. She began walking again, her books, which were stacked one on top of the other, swaying precariously.

“Just let me carry your books,” Harry insisted.

“No! Do you know what that would look like?”

“Like I'm trying to prevent you from crashing into a suit of armour?”

“No, like you're my boyfriend,” Hermione hissed as they made their way up the final staircase. “And that's the last thing we want people suspecting.”

“Hermione, I've carried books for you before!” Harry looked indignant.

“Yes, well…” Hermione looked flustered, and was saved when they arrived at the portrait door. “Oh look, we're here!” She turned and gave Harry a look. “See, Mr Potter? Despite the fact that your chauvinistic beliefs told you otherwise, I can carry my own books.”

“I was being chivalrous!” Harry cried, throwing up his hands.

“Oh please,” huffed Hermione.

Harry was about to retort when a voice demanded, “Are you two going to stand there arguing like mindless idiots all day, or are you going to give me the password?” The two turned around and came face to face with the portrait of the old lady who guarded their tower.

Harry glared at the portrait, but said, “Buckbeak.” The portrait opened and the two climbed in.

“I was not being a chauvinist,” Harry said stubbornly as the portrait door closed behind them. “And the very idea that you'd think, after all these years of being friends with you, that I would end up a chauvinist, a word that I can only use to describe someone like Malfoy— ”

“Well why wouldn't you just let me carry my own things then?” Hermione demanded, swivelling on the spot. This sudden movement led to her books to finally topple to the ground around her.

Harry looked at her expectantly.

“Oh be quiet,” Hermione said. She stared at the disorganized books and gave a small sigh. “Fine. You're right, and I'm sorry. You were trying to be chivalrous. But you can't do that. Boyfriends carry their girlfriends' books,” Hermione said pointedly, leaning down and releasing Crookshanks from his cage.

“I thought I was your boyfriend,” Harry said, walking towards Hermione as she stood back up.

“Well of course you are. But if we're going to keep this a—mmmph!” Harry cut her off with a kiss.

Harry, I am trying to…mmph…” He kissed her again. “To…have a serious…conversation…here,” Hermione said between kisses. “This is our first …” Breathless, she pushed Harry slightly away. “This is our first fight as a couple!” she repeated. “And we need to solve it properly.”

“Amazing how our first fight is about carrying books,” Harry laughed, resting his forehead against hers.

“Books are important.”

“I know, they're sacred,” Harry grinned at her. “Nothing else matters more in the world.”

“Well, if it's any consolation, you're a close second,” Hermione teased. Wrapping her arms around him, she gave him a small kiss that only lasted a few moments. As fate would have it, it was during these very few moments that Ginny climbed down from Hermione's room. Hearing the noise of Ginny's feet, Hermione opened her eyes, and at the sight of her redheaded friend, Hermione shrieked and pushed Harry away from her, who, losing his balance, fell on top of Hermione's books.

“What were you doing in my room?” Hermione cried. “In our common room?

“Waiting for you two to get back, of course,” Ginny said, looking terribly pleased with herself. “I got tired and decided to take a kip, but your couch was too hard, so I went up to your room. And thank Merlin I did,” she smirked, settling herself into an armchair. “Imagine the display of platonic affection I would've missed had I not been up there.”

“How did you get in?” Hermione demanded, ignoring Harry who was rubbing his side. “I changed the password when we left and everything!”

“Oh come on, Hermione. Buckbeak? You have to come up with something less obvious than that.”

If looks could kill, Ginny would be setting the dead up on dates at this very moment.

“Well, I guess it's out then,” Harry sighed. “I told you the plan would blow up in our face.”

“It didn't blow up!” Hermione cried, looking indignant. “It never was properly set in motion!”

“What plan?” Ginny asked. Hermione's eyes widened and Harry, after a nudge in the ribs, shut up. Ginny gave a small laugh. “Surely you two weren't planning on keeping this a secret from me, were you?” When neither spoke Ginny's grin became wider. “Oh really, you couldn't possibly think I wouldn't find out within the first few days, did you?”

“Well, I was hoping…” Hermione sighed, rubbing her temples. “I think I have a headache…I'm going to go rest.” Hermione turned around and walked up to her room, looking horribly lost.

“Well, you can get me those fifty galleons when you come back down,” Ginny said good-naturedly.

Hermione turned around and glared. “I hate you.”

“Really? Because right now I'm loving you for financing my wardrobe.”

Hermione looked as if she were going to say something, but shook her head. “Not worth it,” she said, turning back around and continuing her trek. “Just not worth it.”

“So, out of curiosity, how long have you two officially been together?” Ginny asked Harry.

“Since New Years,” Harry answered.

Ginny looked surprise. “What? You mean you got together a mere few hours after she kissed Dean?”

“Actually, she didn't realize she was kiss— ” Harry stopped mid-sentence and stared at Ginny. “How did you know Hermione kissed Dean, Ginny?”

“You're telling me,” Ginny continued, ignoring Harry's question. “That Dean's kiss didn't prevent you two from becoming a couple?”

“No, in some odd way it ended up being the reason why we finally admitted everything, but I still want to know how you— ” Before Harry could finish his question. Ginny was racing towards the door.

“Ginny!” Harry exclaimed.

“No time to talk, Harry,” Ginny called over her shoulder. “I have to find someone.” The door closed firmly behind her.

“Is she finally gone?” Hermione asked, coming down from her room.

“I thought you had a headache?”

“No, I just couldn't deal with anymore of, `I won the bet, I was right,'” Hermione sighed. She leaned back against the wall. “Not even in the castle for twenty minutes and she found out.”

“Hermione…” Harry said.


“You know how you and Dean kissed at midnight?”

“Oh, please don't bring that up again,” Hermione begged. “I thought we cleared that all up anyway and that you understood that I had no clue that I was kissing him?”

“No, I do,” Harry said. “It's just that…I think Ginny orchestrated the entire thing. I think Dean actually kissed you and he lied and told me that you kissed him in hopes of making me jealous and realize that I liked you, even though I already knew that, but the point is…”

Hermione, looking absolutely furious, grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him out the door.

“Hermione! What are you doing?”

“If Ginny Weasley thinks she can play around with us like we're dolls…” Hermione snarled, walking down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.

“Hermione, it's Ginny. This is what she does.”

“Because we let her!” Hermione cried. “And we can't let her…any…more…” She dropped Harry's hand as she stared at a couple kissing passionately on the couch.

“Harry, please tell me that isn't…”

“It is,” Harry said, in as much disbelief as she.

Ron?” Hermione cried. “Luna?” She looked up at Harry. “When did this happen?”

“Clearly over the holidays,” Harry said, still gaping at the two.

“I can't believe it,” Hermione whispered, her anger towards Ginny forgotten.

“I know,” Harry nodded. “Well, I mean, I can, because Ron's crazy about her, isn't he? But— ”

“No, I mean I can't believe that Ron brought her into the common room!” Hermione looked indignant. “He knows this goes directly against the rules. I used to quiz him on house common room rules when we were both Prefects, and now he turns around and breaks them!”

Hermione…” Harry groaned, shaking.

Ginny, meanwhile, had found who she was looking for on the other side of the common room.

“Dean!” she called, slightly breathless.

Dean turned around at the sound of his name and immediately stiffened. “Ginny,” he said, barely acknowledging her.

“Dean, look, this is really difficult for me to say, so don't make it any harder, okay?” Ginny said, looking, for the first time, rather unsure of herself, although the panting as she fought to catch her breath might have had something to do with it.

When Ginny didn't go on, Dean said, “Well, get on with it.”

“You didn't mess everything up!” Ginny blurted out.

“Sorry, what?”

“You didn't mess it up. It worked, just like we hoped it would. Well, like I hoped it would. Well, okay, not exactly like I thought it would, but that's not the point.” She took in a deep breath. “My point is that I was wrong. And not just because of that, but, for, well…for blaming you for no reason whatsoever. And I'm sorry. I really am. It wasn't your fault, you're right. It was mine for devising this plan, and while I really wanted those two to finally get it together, I had no right to drag you into it and force you to help me, especially seeing how much you hate me, and I'm sorry.”

“Ginny,” Dean said, after fully comprehending what she had said, “just for the record, I wouldn't have helped you if I hated you.”

Ginny looked up. “What?” Although this was good news, at the same times she couldn't help but feel a blow to her ego. The idea that she didn't have absolute power over everyone was very disconcerting.

“I don't hate you,” Dean said, shrugging.

“But…I thought…I mean the other night…”

“I was pissed at you, and I said some horrible stuff, but I don't hate you. In fact, the only reason why I helped you was because…well…never mind,” Dean finished, suddenly studying his fingers.

Ginny's frown slowly turned into a smile. “Interesting,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, her self-assurance returned.

“What's interesting?”

“Oh nothing,” Ginny said in a singsong manner. “I'll see you around, okay? Say next Hogsmeade weekend?”

Dean's eyes lit up in understanding. “Oh! Oh, yeah, of course. Sure. I mean, I'll be there, and you'll be there, and— ”

“So I'll see you there then?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean said, and he walked away, looking slightly dazed.

Grinning as she always did whenever she had this affect on a male, Ginny turned around and came face to face with Harry and Hermione. Ginny, who knew that the two must have figured out what she had done by now, was surprised that Hermione didn't look angry, but was smirking.

“Aren't you two the cutest couple?” she teased.

“Oh please,” scoffed Ginny, although Hermione could've sworn she saw a trace of a girlish smile underneath her frown. “I don't do the couple thing anymore. I just go on a few dates with guys every now and then and have the occasional snog.”

“Oh really?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow. “Somehow I suspect that you and Dean will end up in a rather loving relationship, don't you Harry?”

“I dunno, Hermione,” Harry said, feigning doubt. “I think we may just need to get the opinion of everyone else…”

“I know!” Hermione exclaimed. “Let's start a list of everyone who thinks Dean and Ginny should get together.”

“Now there's an idea.”

“Like a little list would bother me,” Ginny said, giving out a short laugh. Hermione gave a small, frustrated sigh, knowing fully well that Ginny was telling the truth. “I'm surprised that you're not attempting to murder me, though,” Ginny continued, looking at Hermione with interest. “I thought for sure that you'd be furious with me.”

“Oh, I am,” Hermione nodded, “but I think I've come to terms with the fact that manipulating people is simply part of who you are.”

“Oh good,” Ginny said, clapping her hands together in pleasure. “So you won't mind that I'm planning your wedding?”

“Planning my what?”

“Your wedding,” Ginny repeated. “To Harry.”

“What are you talking about?” Hermione demanded.

“Oh, Hermione,” Ginny sighed as she walked away. “Your lack of intelligence is very unsettling.”

“Did she just accuse me of lacking intelligence?” Hermione growled.

“It's Ginny,” Harry said, wrapping his arm around her. “Don't let her get to you.”

“I'm not!”

Harry gave Hermione a look.

“What? I'm not. And I won't!” Hermione insisted.

“If you say so…”

“Oh, as if she's not bothering you, too.”

“I've happened to accept that she's mental and a Weasley,” Harry shrugged. “I thought you had, too, what with your little speech and everything.”

“That was before all of this ridiculous marriage stuff,” Hermione exclaimed. “If she starts on about it, then everyone will, and we'll have the list issue all over again.”

“I'm sure there's nothing to worry about,” Harry said, attempting a soothing tone.

“Well if I'm going down, you're going down with me,” Hermione said stubbornly.

Harry tilted his head back and let out a laugh, but when he finally stopped he smiled at Hermione and nodded his head. “You can count on it.”

“Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says `For the woman I love' and the second, `For my best friend.'”


The Top Ten People Who Believe That Harry and Hermione Will Marry

As Recorded by Harry James Potter

1. Ginevra “Ginny” Weasley - According to her, “Let's face it, that's the only name that you really need. I was right about Harry and Hermione liking each other, and I'm right about this, too.” Hermione's response was a brief laugh. Brief because Ginny threatened to write another essay.

2. Elizabeth Granger -Now that she knows that Hermione and I started dating, she's been sending us stuff by owlpost constantly (apparently she has overcome her fear of owls…lucky us). Last week it was a list of wedding locations (Italy was on the list, of course), Sunday it was an “Our Wedding” journal, and today she sent me her Mother's engagement ring. Hermione insisted that I send it back, for reasons including a) We're not getting married and b) her grandmother's still alive and married.

3. Ronald “Ron” Weasley - But I'm pretty sure it's only because Ginny put him up to it. Even Ron's not that nuts.

4. Molly Weasley - As my surrogate mother, she owled me, wanting to know when we wanted to host our engagement party and, of course, our rehearsal dinner, which, as the groom's family, the Weasleys would apparently be more than pleased to host.

5. Luna - All because of that initials theory, of course. “You two are lucky. When Ronald and I marry” (this caused Ron to turn a rather violent shade of…I have no clue what to call it…purple…maroon…red…green?) “we'll have to sign our names on letters separately. Think how easy it will be for you: HJP, and that's it.” I said that maybe we should sign it, “HJP2,” and when I explained what “squared” meant, she fervently agreed. Hermione wasn't very pleased with me for promoting Luna's ideas, and she put off our date until the next Hogsmeade weekend as punishment.

6. John Granger - Though I'm not sure if he
really believes that we're going to marry… All I know is that howler last week that said, “If you get my daughter pregnant, I will be putting my dental tools to better use,” made Hermione very sorry that she told her father how exactly a howler works, and even sorrier that she told him that Mr Weasley could help him record one (as much as I love her, sometimes I just wish she didn't have to talk about everything she knows). Mr Weasley later sent us a letter apologizing and adding, “For a muggle, Mr Granger can be very scary when he puts his mind to it.” He doesn't need to tell me. I've decided that I'm not having sex until marriage. That seems like the safe alternative to getting hacked to pieces.

7. Mona and Lia Howard - They asked Hermione if they could be her flower girls. Mrs Howard found out and now she's had the family tailor draw up about five different dresses for the girls. Hermione looks as if her head's going to explode.

8. Crookshanks - Yes, I realize he's a cat (well, Kneazle), but he's been rubbing up against me quite a lot lately and he's taken to sleeping in my room (Hermione says that he only sleeps with people whom he considers family). Needless to say, Hermione feels a bit betrayed.

9. Draco Malfoy - While I was trying to get to class, he called over, “I guess history does repeat. So you're going to marry a m-------, just like your father, huh, Scarhead?” I hexed him. Professor McGonagall was in the hallway, but I could've cared less. Anyway, her back was turned (or maybe she just ignored what happened…I could've swore she winked at me when I walked into Transfiguration…).

10. Harry James Potter - Just don't tell Hermione. I'm in deep enough as it is with the whole initials issue. Anyway, if you
do tell her, I can't exactly propose to her and have it be a surprise…and when I say propose to her, I mean in ten, maybe fifty years. Either when Mr Granger allows it or Hermione decides that she never wants to see her father again…. And I'm aware that neither scenario's going to happen, but that's perfectly fine. Marriage is overrated anyway (well, that's my alibi).

11. Hermione Jane Granger - Only not really, as the only way I could write anything on here is if I wrote my name. Harry James Potter, we need to have a talk
right now. Not to mention a bonfire. If Ginny gets a hold of this (or Rita Skeeter…or anyone for that matter), this year will make fourth and that small bit back in early Winter look like a piece of cake. And by the way, you can consider next Hogsmeade weekend cancelled, too. And if I see you walking within ten metres of a jewellery store, I will change the password to our Common Room. I swear, I will. And if that's not enough of a threat, I'll tell my father. But I love you! See you at the S.P.E.W. Meeting. ~Hermione

12. Ginny Weasley - Don't worry Harry, she'll come around.

13. Ron Weasley - Eh, I wouldn't put it past her. She can be rather stubborn when…well…always. She threw birds at me once, you know. You better watch out, Harry…

14. Hermione Granger - Now this is just getting
ridiculous. Let me just say right now that I have no intention of marrying anytime before twenty-eight, at the earliest. I have a lot of goals to accomplish. (And you deserved those canaries, you sexist, womanising…! You're lucky Luna can get through to your human side.)

15. Ginny Weasley - So that's not a “no” on the “Are you going to marry Harry?” front?

16. Hermione Granger -

17. Ginny Weasley - Ha! I thought so. Perfect. That's definitely going to be categorized as “evidence” for my essay.

18. Hermione Granger -

19. Harry Potter - It's
Ginny, Hermione. What do you expect me to do?

20. Hermione Granger - You can kill off Voldemort, but you're afraid of a sixteen-year-old redhead?

21. Harry Potter - IT'S GINNY! You go confront her then if she's just a “sixteen-year-old redhead”!

22. Hermione Granger - So, about that Hogsmeade date…

23. Ginny Weasley - Those two owe me so much. They should give me one of their children for every problem I solve in their relationship…

24. Hermione Granger - We're not going to have chil— This is never going to end, is it?

25. Ginny Weasley - Never. You still owe me fifty galleons, by the way. And I charge interest!


A big thank you to EVERYONE who read and reviewed. Seriously. It means the world to me (I say that a lot, but I swear that I mean it every time). I definitely would have continued writing this story had you not reviewed, but the reviews made it all the more sweeter to do so. I hope you enjoyed these last few (okay, many) months, and be sure to look out for new stories from me. At the moment I'm working on 10+ Reasons Ginny Weasley Should Never be a Maid of Honour, which, of course, is very H/Hr friendly, and features a very similar, conniving Ginny (though a little bit different, I will admit). Please check it out if you have the time!
Thank you for everything!


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