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Chapter 5 : Cho's feelings
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Author's Note: Sorry I didn't update in a while, I was really close to delete this, thinking no one liked it anymore. So uhm, yeah.. here's the new chapter. hope you like it.
kindly review please, I wanna know what you guys think. Thank you.
"Often times, we say goodbye to the one we love without wanting to, though that doesn't mean that we stopped loving them or we stopped to care. Sometimes, Goodbye is a painful way to say I love you."
Cho frown as she stares at the four gigantic hard bound books on her table.
Vital Notes for Healer
Atlas of Human Anatomy
Nutrition, Health, and Child Development
She frowned even more as she scanned the pages. “Ugh, what have I gotten myself into?” She wondered, she read the medical terminologies and health ethics that Madam Promfrey instructed her to study but felt disheartened.
“Maybe I don’t really need to be a healer after all”. She reasoned and then thought. “If really I don’t want to be a healer, I can always quit.”
For the past few weeks, Cho continued to attend her private lessons from the school nurse. They even went to St. Mungos for her first hospital rotation, her mind drifted to the image of a thirty-six-years-old man brought in to St. Mungos after a car accident. His head was bleeding and his arm had been lacerated in the crash, nearly severing it. In an effort to save the arm and avoid any further damage, the patient rushed to surgery.
The surgery was proceeding well, until fifteen minutes into it, the patient heart went into failure and he died. Cho was totally crushed, it was the first death she had encountered, and it hit her harder that she’d imagined. Intellectually, she knew it came with the territory, but her heart and mind wasn’t prepared.
She realized that being a healer was intense, and together that left her physically and emotionally exhausted. She decided to focus her attention to the upcoming ball hoping that it would take away the painful memory, but every time she remember the man’s face, she saw her Father’s and she just didn’t think she could go through that over and over again.
Ginny Weasley stared at her reflection in the boutique mirror at Hogsmead for several minutes. It was perfect! This was it, a long light blue strapless dress that would make her upcoming ball a dream.
“Are you sure you want that dress, dear?” Mrs. Weasley asked, biting her lower lip.
“Yes, Mum! Don’t you think it’s amazing? She responded enthusiastically.
“It’s beautiful, honey, but I don’t know that it’s worth the price.” Her Mother responded. “I think you look just as pretty in the other one.”
The dress was way over Ginny’s parent’s budget. In fact, it was double what they’d said they could pay. They had told her that they would give her a certain amount of money for a dress, but anything above that would be her responsibility. So for the last two weeks, she begged Fred and George to lend her money and promised she’ll pay them back by working at Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes over the summer. She just had to have the gown.
Ginny felt her Mother didn’t quite understand, her parents loved her no matter what. She could be dressed in a simple white plain dress, smell like sweat, and they would think she was the most beautiful fifteen year old girl alive.
But her parents weren’t taking her to the prom. Harry will, and she wanted him to think she was the most beautiful girl there.
Five weeks ago, Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. Ginny still wanted to pinch herself and couldn’t believe that Harry would fall for her. She really like him, Harry was this caring and sweet boyfriend that she doesn’t want to lose. Ginny was convinced that the upcoming ball would be the best ball ever.
“What’s up with Michael Corner these days?” Marietta asks Cho as she sit beside her at their Ravenclaw table, it’s like the hundred times she’s brought him up this week.
“Huh?” Cho said, she decided to play dumb as she absently read the pages of her anatomy book.
“Well… you said he talked to you and stuff this week, so has he even hinted at asking you to the ball or not? and if not, why not?”
“I don’t know, Marietta.” Cho responded and try to mask her frustration as she flip another page of her book. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“Really?” Marietta sounds serious.
“Of course not!” Cho said and look at her. “Are you nuts? That’s like elementary.”
“Not necessary, Cho. I read this article from a magazine for women who haven’t met their match yet, and the author said that one of the main reasons women remain single is because they are too passive when it comes to dating.”
“So, are you going to ask Michael to the ball?” Cho asked in a teasingly manner. Marietta has had a crush on him since fourth year.
“Yeah, right.” Marietta slugs her in the arm.
“So, how was your first hospital rotation at St. Mungos? Pretty gruesome huh?” Marietta said, changing the topic.
“It was okay.”
Cho sighed and decided to confide her doubts to Marietta, she even told her what happened to the man who died in a car accident. Cho wanted to tell her that somehow she felt that the man was her Father but she didn’t know how to say it.
“Did you go to become a healer thinking you could save everyone? Well, if you do, you won’t last long on your private lesson, what important is that you patient feel safe with you. You’re good at them; you know how to talk to them.
Cho looked at her skeptically, not looking convinced.
Marietta gave a dramatic sighed. “Look, if a patient dies, it doesn’t mean you’re not doing your job. Sometimes, bad things happen even when we do everything right. You have to let go of the idea that everyone is going to live because that fact is, people die. You apply everything you know to help your patients, but after that you have to let go.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re going through,” Marietta continued. “It might just be an indication that you need to step back. If you chose to quit right now, you would still have plenty of times to decide if this is right for you- to decide if this is really what you want to be doing- but I really hope you won’t do that.”
Cho didn’t say anything, but the fact is, she doesn’t completely disagree with her, she’s just not sure if she still have strength to face another death on her life.
Harry watched as her team mates separated ways and disappeared from the Gryffindor locker room, he stayed behind in the changing-rooms as the rest of the team left for the castle. Ron seemed, reluctant to let leave him alone but followed the others after Harry had assured him he would be right behind them.
The truth was that Harry hadn't wanted to take his robes off, since little black bruises appeared at his lower abdomen. He didn't know how it happened, it just started when his headaches become worse and began to feel vivid pains stabbing at his stomach. He had fainted a few times without anyone knowing and whenever he coughed his insides started to hurt.
He'd been so afraid that his stomach would cause trouble while they were practicing in the air that he'd broken into a cold sweat five minutes in.
Harry sighed and undressed, he carefully pulled off his robes and stood there with an oversized T-shirt. He then went to the castle and walked into the Fat Lady portrait and caught sight of Ginny sitting with Ron and Hermione at the Common Room. Harry wondered if Ron had plucked up the courage to finally ask Hermione out or not. He swore that if the two idiots hadn’t asked each other out yet, then he would ask for them. It was starting to get really annoying now that the two hadn’t confronted each other about their feelings
Ginny smiled as she caught sight of him stepped in from portrait hall, she run and throw her arms around him, Harry fight so hard not to cry out in pain as a sharp twinge of pain flashed across his lower abdomen, jerking backwards, he hit his head on the wall and gave a angry hiss.
“W-what’s wrong?” Ginny said immediately, looking into Harry's eyes.
“N-nothing," Harry said wincing, slipping out of her embrace. The pain had vanished as soon as it had come, but he didn't want her accidentally touch his stomach where he hurt.
"Harry, I got something for you for the ball." Ginny said enthusiastically as she help up a green dress robes from a paper bag.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Ginny said cheekily.
"Wow, it's looks awesome, Thanks Ginny. But it really looks expensive... how did you-?"
"Don't ask, it's not that important, what important is that the ball would be a blast!" Ginny said excitedly. "I want the upcoming ball to be the most memorable event of our life."
Harry smiled softly at her, he wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. Ginny's presence was the only thing that would make him feel better. He needed someone with him, if not to talk to then just to be with. He couldn't understand his feeling when they were together, but one thing he was sure through... he could not go on a day without her. He'd become used to having her, She already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in his life.
end of chapter
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