The next day was Christmas eve. They had gathered in the common room as usual, but to Harry’s surprise, there was an envelope waiting on one of the tables with his name on it. Ginny picked it up and handed it to him.
He knew right away who it was from, the Dursley’s. Uncle Vernon’s tight, but messy script was unmistakable. He laughed, and called Ron and Hermione over to see it.
After explaining who it was from, Ron remarked, “looks bigger than that tissue you got last time.” Harry laughed in agreement.
Harry opened the envelope and pulled what felt like a card out. It was not a card though. It was a picture. Of the Dursley’s in warm summer clothes with a sandy beach behind them. Uncle Vernon, who was a large man was wearing a brightly colored, button up Hawaiian shirt and a straw hat. There was an enormous grin on his face. He was toasting the camera with a thin, long, glass full of yellow iced liquid. Next to him was aunt Petunia, horse mouthed as ever and smiling like the cat who ate the canary. She too wore a shirt like Vernon’s however it was several times smaller and the printed flowers looked too big. To her left and leaning against a table for support was Dudley. The porker was only slightly smaller than his dad and could have easily fit his dad’s shirt. He looked sick, judging by the drink on the table next to him, Harry guessed drunk would have been a better word for it.
“Good lord.” Came Hermione’s not so modest reply at the family photo. “You’re cousin is enormous.”
A familiar thought came to Harry’s mind, followed by a laugh. He handed the photo to Ginny and shared it. “Looks like the old duderkin has finally done it.” He said with false gravity. “He’s been threatening since he was three to grow as wide as he was tall.” He couldn’t contain it.
The others joined in on the mirth.
Ginny turned the photo over and read aloud to them. “Cheers! We’re on vacation in the Bahamas! We sent your present in the envelope, Dudley picked it up for you.” They all turned their attention back to the envelope still in Harry’s hands.
Harry gave them a surprised look and tilted the open end of the envelope down into the palm of his other hand. A small strand of three Christmas lights slid out. They were beat up looking and one bulb was missing.
Hermione and Ginny frowned. How cold could you be to one person? They were sick people in Hermione’s opinion. Harry looked up from the lights to them. It hadn’t really bothered him. He never received anything worthwhile from them, and this must have given them quiet a laugh. He would have gotten mad except, he had an excellent idea.
“Say, do any of you have a magic marker?” he asked excitedly.
“A what?” asked Ron perplexed.
“Oh, you mean an permanent marker?” asked Ginny knowingly.
“Yeah. Got one?” he asked.
“Sure, what color?” She was curious what he was planning to do.
Harry looked over to the picture and said, “black.”
“Okay,” and she dashed off to her dorm room.
Harry looked at Ron. He had expected Hermione to have one.
“Come on Harry, you know our dad.” He said.
“Ron,” came Hermione. “Do you still have a flashlight in your trunk. The one that was there over break?”
Harry raised his eyebrows and looked questioningly at the both of them. Ron blushed.
“Yeah, why Hermione?” he said through a closed mouth.
“I need the batteries out of it. I’ve got an idea for Harry’s Christmas present.” She told him.
So Ron bounded off to the stairs for the flashlight. Welcoming the break from Harry’s gaze.
But, Harry continued to look on at Hermione. “Anything you’d like to tell me about, Hermione?” he asked her, sounding like a father would.
She looked right back at him and answered flatly, “Nope!”
Just then Ginny came back down with a black marker. Harry gratefully took it and headed for one of the tables. He set to work on the Dursley’s photo. Starting with uncle Vernon. First he gave him a hooped nose ring. Then ear rings on both sides. He added a goatee that reached to the first button of his shirt. Moved right along to thicker, black eyebrows, and finished him with a large mole complete with hairs.
The next willing victim was aunt Petunia. He wasted no time blacking out her two front teeth and one of her lowers. So far Hermione and Ginny, who were watching closely over his shoulder, were in mild hysterics. He continued with his aunt, giving her black lines under her eyes. Adding several black freckles and finishing her up with large elf ears.
He had to sit back and enjoy the beauty of the moment. He laughed so hard his sides hurt. Then Ron came down the stairs. Harry picked up the photo and handed it to him. Ron laughed so hard he cried. When they had a chance to settle down, Ron took the marker off of the table and added his own flavor to Dudley.
It was remarkable, by just adding two piggy ears and one large pig snout. He had revolutionized Dudley’s appearance to something they all agreed was an improvement.
Hermione set to work undoing the top of the flashlight and removing the batteries. She spread the two leads on the Christmas lights and touched each of them to either side of the batteries. They lit up to Ron and Ginny’s surprise. She used a sticking charm on the wires so they stayed in contact with the battery. Ginny picked up the lights, batteries, and picture and took them over to the Gryffindor notice board. She used a sticking charm herself to adhere them to it and stood back. The ugly lights complimented the ugly picture and they all got a good laugh out of both. Harry snaked the pen back from Ron and moved over the picture. He wrote in big letters, across the top, ‘The Dursley’s’. He then leaned in closer and at the bottom right added his initials. He stepped back to admire it, then went back in. He added a lightning bolt to the bottom of the ‘P’.
“Gives it flare.” He said modestly, at the looks they gave him. “Kind of like a trademark.”
Ron just shrugged.
They all visited the bizarre homage to Harry’s family a few times that day. When evening time came they talked eagerly about the nights activities. Hermione’s plan for the camera was to have it near the tree. This would require two to be concealed by the invisibility cloak. A job that Ron was reluctant to undertake. Harry and Ginny agreed to a little too quick for Ron’s taste, but he said nothing. It was planned that Ron and Hermione would be at the other end of the entrance, hiding and watching from behind a large suit of armor.
Ginny gave Harry’s hand a gentle squeeze, they were both thinking the same thing. The plot against Hermione. It was such a beautiful thing. Of course, the thought of an hour alone under an visibility cloak had it’s own excitement.
They left the common room at 11 o’clock for the entrance.
Harry and Ginny disappeared under the invisibility cloak and headed behind the tree. Ron and Hermione went to their post as well.
They took their positions and waited patiently. As they were a good deal apart, they could whisper to each other relatively easy without being over heard.
“Have you got the mistletoe,” asked Ginny.
“Yeah, it’s right here in my pocket.” He said while reaching into his pocket and retrieving it. He held it up between them. “I’ve still got to do the charm though.”
He squirmed next to her to reach in his robes. Trying to get his wand without opening the cloak. His arms and elbow began bumping places that made him blush furiously and apologize often.
“I am beginning to wonder if maybe you are masterminding these little distractions to take advantage of me, Mr. Potter,” she said in a mock serious tone.
“yeah?,” he said falsely serious back. “I was beginning to wonder if you if you’d ever notice.”
They both giggled and he was able to get his wand out. He muttered the charm over the mistletoe four times, then used a hovering charm to set it a flight.
To monitor the enchanted mistletoe and their victims progress, they both had to move away from the tree and beside a banister. It put their back to the tree but they felt sure they had time. It was after all only 11:26pm. (A/N Hermione equipped them with a watch.) The mistletoe was high above their heads. It had to be, the trail of enchantment falling from it looked like a salt shaker with the lid off being dumped all at once.
It continued it’s flight, directed by Harry until it was just over the top of Hermione. He slowly brought it down, down, down, until the enchantment was disappearing only a foot above her head. Harry and Ginny watched patiently. Every now and then having to stuff their knuckles in their mouth to keep from giving away their position.
The unsuspecting couple were watching the tree, it was 15 minutes until midnight. Everything would happen soon. So far the majority of the conversation consisted of Hermione, who thought Ron was carrying on like a child, convincing Ron to stay. Her charm was beginning to wear off.
The silent trail continued to pour down on her.
It started with a soft change. Instead of trying hard to devise new ways to convince Ron to stay. They came easier.
“Look, Hermione. You’ve all got this under control.” He started again. “I’m just going to bed.”
She batted her eyes at him and whispered softly in his ear, “But, then I’d be alone.”
Shivers went down Ron’s spine when he breath tickled his ear. What was she playing at? He leaned slightly away from her.
She closed the distance between her and his ear. Which she had noticed turned a cute shade of red. “All alone on Christmas eve. Is that how you want to leave me Ron?” she wasn’t whispering, but she was using a low teasing voice.
Ron’s face went pale, he looked scared. Apprehensively he turned to her, she was smiling and had a dreamy look on her face. She took his hand in hers.
Harry nudged Ginny in the ribs. It didn’t take much as they were right next to each other.
“What?,” she asked through teeth that were fighting to hold back giggles.
“Let’s get closer,” he whispered. “I want to hear what’s going on.”
She nodded and they moved to a bench 10 feet away from the enchanted couple. (Well only Hermione.)
They arrived in time to see Ron go pale. The effort it was taking them to restrain themselves was too much. Ginny reached in to her robes, as carefully as possible, and pulled out her wand. Harry gave her a questioning look.
She whispered a silencing charm Harry had not heard before.
“It’s more of a silencing wall,” she said in her normal voice.
Harry looked shocked and awed. He expected to see Ron and Hermione jump. But they didn’t.
“It has it’s limits though. Just don’t get real loud.” And she toned her voice down just a bit. Now they were free to laugh as they willed.
They could also hear all of what was going on between the other couple. Ginny looked at the watch. 11:50pm. Hopefully this would all work out right.
Ron turned to see Hermione. She batted her eyes again and swished her hair behind her. Classic move. “Uh, Hermione?” his voice was husky, faltering. “Are you feeling all right?” he asked looking fearful.
In the matter of time that the enchanted mistletoe had been over hermione, she had already had twice as much pour onto here as Harry had. Her facial expressions were pretty incredible. It looked like some wild women wearing Hermione.
“I don’t know Ron,” she said breathily. She pulled his and to her face and caressed her cheek against it. “How do I feel to you?” she gave him a look that made Harry and Ginny’s eye brows raise.
“Harry,” said Ginny. “Do you still think this is a great idea?”
Harry tried to sound like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “Loosing your nerve?” he asked.
That was all it took for Ginny, she pointed her wand at the mistletoe and gave it another charm. Making it even more potent. She then turned defiantly to Harry and waited for a response.
“Guess not.” He managed in a high pitched voice. Both turned back to Ron and Hermione.
Hermione was now asking Ron if he thought it was hot. She removed her cloak and began fanning her face.
Ron looked like a caged rat meeting his doom. He was glued to the spot.
Hermione, now barely able to focus her eyes had thrown pretense to the wind. She turned around and grabbed Ron by the robes. She shoved him into the wall. Low growling noises were coming from her.
Both Harry and Ginny jerked their wands up at the same time. They had to cancel the charm before she did it.
They were too late.
Hermione had moved in towards Ron. She was running her hands savagely through his hair. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. He looked like he had left his body and was being forced to watch in horror.
She grabbed the back of his neck and forced his face down to meet hers. The only sound they had heard from Ron yet was the low gasp before their lips touched. It sounded much like ‘help’.
The charm was canceled just as Hermione unleashed her passion on Ron. What had started so fiercely just paused. The whole room seemed to freeze. A moment in time that stopped.
Hermione came around from the debilitating effects of the charm in that time. She was frozen with her hands clamped around Ron’s neck. Her lips pressed tightly against his. Her eyes grew bigger with each moment.
Ron, was stunned. No, he was really stunned, as though three people had just hit him with the Stupefy jinx. Hermione had attacked him like an animal, now she was stuck on his face. The frozen moment wore on. An odd tickling sensation was forming in his lips.
Harry and Ginny sat wide eyed. Time had just stopped. But they were aware of it. They could feel, think, but not move, talk or anything else. they stuck in this moment of time, staring at their best friend and brother, in the middle of a wild snogging session.
What felt like an eternity later the effect wore off. The mistletoe that had been suspended too, fell. It landed right on top of Hermione’s head. Ron’s eyes narrowed on it. Hermione leaned back, a look of disbelief swept her features. Looked like the stunner was turned on her. She clasped her hand to her mouth. Ron’s whole mouth was covered in her light red shade of lipstick. Ron reached over and took the mistletoe from off the top of her head. He held it out between them. Recognition dawning on them.
Ginny leapt up, exposing their position. She looked at Ron, who looked back at her, then the mistletoe, then to Harry. Who cancelled the silencing charms and said, “Cheers!”
Ginny ran to the Christmas tree. That was it. The tree was packed full of presents. They had missed him. If they had stayed where they were they would have seen him.
Hermione ran. She ran to the tree first. Anything to get away from what had just happened.
Ron looked at Harry, an odd look of anger and awe on his face.
Harry dashed to the tree as well. It was amazing, the tree was loaded.
Hermione was starting to cry.
This made the two conspirators lower their heads in shame.
Ron came in last. He had cleared the lipstick with the hem of his robe. He walked over to Hermione and tried to comfort her, he also shot a hateful look at Harry and Ginny.
Hermione turned away from him sharply. She had her hands in her face and was sobbing, “I’m sorry Ron, I couldn’t help myself.” She said it over and over.
Harry was the first to speak. “Hermione, I’m really sorry. I didn’t..”
“You looked so terrified.” She said still into her hands.
Ron turned her around to face him He pulled her hands down from her face and moved her chin up to look in his face.
Ginny tried to apologize as well. They were both surprised when Ron turned to them and winked.
“Hermione,” he said, tenderly. “Hermione.” he called softly to her.
She finally looked up to him. Tears had streaked her eyes. He was smiling down at her.
“I’m…” she didn’t finish.
Ron in an elegant. Ballroom move, put his arms around her waist and the back of her head. He swept her backwards and planted a huge kiss on her mouth. She gripped his arms at first in fright. After a second or two, or three, or four. She moved them to hold herself in place around his neck and joined him in passion.
Harry looked at Ginny, grinning ear to ear. She returned the look. He nodded. They began to cat call and whistle.
When the two kissing fiends stopped and recovered themselves, both Harry and Ginny gave them full ten marks for their display.
“Stop it!” Ron played back at them. “You’re making her blush.”
“Her!” Harry barked back at him incredulously, “What about you?!”
Ginny moved over to Hermione, who was smiling through a deep shade of red, and put her arm around her shoulder. Moving Ron’s out of the way.
Ginny took on a semi serious tone with her, “You know, of course, what you’ve got to do know?” She toyed with her. “That’s my brother you just defiled. I’ve got to think of his honor you know. His integrity as a Weasley male.” Ginny shook her head and turned Hermione to face her. Putting both arms on Hermione’s shoulders. “Tisk,tisk…” she paused and let wonder settle on Hermione’s face. Hermione didn’t look as though she really knew if Ginny were serious or not. “You’ve got a letter to write young lady, and you DON’T want to ask Harry for advise.”
The end. Hope you liked it.
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