Chapter 1 : Gardens and Wildflowers
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He’d never love her like I do. Never. She was so beautiful and fragile. And he was trying to kill that.
She was my snowflake. Beautiful but so fragile. One of a million yet completely unique. She was perfect.
But dammit! She’d never be mind. She was Malfoy’s. Practically branded. And still even if he wasn’t in the picture... she wouldn’t be mine.
Her parents were pure-blood and that’s what was important. Pure blooded little babies running all over the place... not that we’d do much reproducing any way. I think her parents would rather her be with a muggle than with me.
I scooted over closer to her, wrapped my arms around her more tightly and buried my face in her neck. It was talking all my strength not to cry. I hated this. Hiding. Forcing myself not to look at the bruises. Using all my will power not to kill that bastard. I thought of the first night he hit her. That was also the first night we did anything more than a bit of light kissing.
Pavarti,” she sobbed running into the long emptied classroom where we always met and collapsing into my arms.
“Pansy,” I said sounding worried, brushing tear and hair off her face, “what happened?! What’s wrong?!”
“He... He...” she stumbled, too upset to speak. I immediately knew who ‘he’ was. Malfoy.
“What? What’s wrong?” I asked getting drastically more worried as she got more upset.
“He... he hit me” she managed to chock of before collapsing. I struggled to pull her into my lap and even then felt over whelmed. Small as she was she was much bigger than me and usually it was the other way around.
I forced her to look at me. “Pansy listen. How did he hit you? A backhand and then...” she trailed off afraid of my temper. Not for herself. I would kill myself before I hurt her.
“Pansy, tell ne what he did,” my voice growing fierce.
“He grabbed my wrist and punched me in the stomach,” she confessed shamefully.
“I jumped up and grabbed my wand, pushing Pansy off me gently. “Oh I’m going to kill him!”
She pried the wand out of my hands. “Find I’ll kill him with my bare hands,” I knowing that I couldn’t. He was at least twice my size and had those apes Crabb and Goyle who were five times my size. Each. But adrenaline had to be good for something and I could fell it pulsing htrough my veins.
“No you can’t!” she protested.
“Pansy why are you protecting him?” I had meant to shout, but it came out softly and I sank down in a chair, feeling defeated. Did she still love him more than me?
“Because I don’t want ‘them’ to find out.”
Ah yes, her parents, the bigots. She’d been afraid to of them finding out since the beginning. And I hated them. My parents were fine with it. Not Pansy, per say*but the girl thing in general. I told them last year when I knew. When I had figured out I had deep feelings for Pansy. A girl. A woman. We both said we would. And Panse brought it up and apparently her parents thought it the most appalling thing on the planet. After half bloods. Third year I told me parents. It was a big year for me.
“Pansy come here,” I said softly, tapping on the table. She sat and I pushed her back softly so she was laying down. I looked at her face. I could see the large red mark. I pushed her sleeves up and looked at the marks Malfoy’s fingers had made on her skin, a dark bruise forming. I pulled her cloak up to see where he hit her. She was already bruised there. I touched it softly and she squirmed beneath my fingers. She must have been in pain already . I kissed her lightly and when she pressed her lips harder to mine I couldn’t help but to want for more. She opened her mouth letting my tongue in. I shifted so I was sitting on the table.
I wanted more of her. I wanted to pull her robes off. I wanted to touch her skin. Feel in on mine. I was tugging up at her cloak, trying to pull it over her head and off her body.
“Are you sure?”
“About what? I promise I won’t get you pregnant, Panse,” I laughed at my own running joke. Pansy, though didn’t even smile.
“Pavarti you know that’s not what I mean.”
“Yes, Pansy, I do,” becoming more serious. “I don’t, however, happen to know what you do mean. So would you mind telling me more clearly?”
“My body,” she said simply.
“Yes... I want to see it.”
“Are you sure?” she asked sounding self conscious. Oh. I get it. Pansy wasn’t perfect. I’m sure she had heard what people said about her. And about me. I was hot. She wasn’t. Which I didn’t understand; she was gorgeous.
“Yes, Pansy. I am.”
“Are you sure you want to see?”
“Pansy I’m dying to see.”
“I’m nothing special.”
“Pansy, I dream about this body. I have to put a silencing charm on my curtains because of this body.” I smile and she smiles back at me. I went back to my kiss and finally got her robes off.
I was brought back to reality by kisses trailing down my neck. “Mmm... Pansy. I should day dream more often.”
“What were you thinking about?” she asked sweetly as she traced circles on my collar bone.
“Oh nothing,” I covered not wanting her to relive those memories. “Do you remember the night we became friends? The night we first–”
“Yes that was the night I figured out I was...”
“Pansy, please say it,” I begged. I always did when she wouldn’t say it. When she couldn’t say it, it made me feel like she was only half in this. I had given her my whole heart and she couldn’t say she was a lesbian/ It broke my heart every time she told me. Or more so didn’t. “I already knew. It was just the first time I acted upon it.”
“Why’d you bring it up any way?” she asked playing with a strand of my hair.
“I was just thinking.”
I always knew who she was. That didn’t mean I liked her. She was always horrible to Lavender, Hermione Granger and me. Particularly Hermione. It didn’t matter that I didn’t like her as she went running through the hallway crying. I chased after her into an empty classroom.
“Pansy?” I spoke softly walking over to her sobbing figure.
“What’s wrong?” I asked wrapping my arm around her and ignoring her earlier demand. What I didn’t expect was her to hug me and crying my shoulder.
“Sh, now don’t cry. It’ll be alright. There, there, now what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. My boyfriend just yelled at me,” she sobbed. Shock of the century. Draco yelled and it made Pansy cry.
“Well.. Ok.” what the hell was I supposed to do about this. I couldn’t just leave. I mean I could. And I probably should have(face it, it was only so long until she came to her sense and tried to hex me.) But I couldn’t. “Is-is there anything I can do for you?” what the hell was I thinking?! This girl had some sort of inexplicable hold on me. Which was just plain weird.
In my opinion Pansy was far too young to be in that serious of a relationship. We’re twelve for Merlin’s sake!
“No. Just... stay.”
I was shocked, I would go as far to say dumbfounded. Even though I was shocked I wasn’t going to leave her there. She might do something stupid.
“Pansy? Do you want to... talk about it?” I finished meekly. She seemed to be settling down and I didn’t want to make things worse.
“Alright what’d he say?”
“Just that I was ugly and I should be lucky to have him and that maybe I should act grateful to him,” she said thickly through her tears.
“Pansy, that isn’t true,” I said as I wiped away a few tears, “you’re beautiful.”
“Thank you,” she sniffled.
“There’s something else wrong isn’t there?” I asked, being the good judge of character I was, I knew.
“Yes. I don’t love him. I don’t like him. I’m no even attracted to him. I think I...” she trailed off mumbling.
“I’m sorry what was that last part?”
“I think I like someone else.”
“Someone I certainly shouldn’t.” she got up and paced and started to wring her hand excessively.
“Pansy!” I grabbed them in my own, feeling them tingle in a way that even a kiss has never sparked. “You’re going to pull your fingers out of their sockets. Just... tell me.”
I felt a blush creep its way up my face. The tingle in my stomach told me exactly what to do. I kissed her. Full and hard on the mouth.
And it was the most miraculous thing to have ever happened to me. If I hadn’t enjoyed it so much I would have looked around to see if I was floating or not.
I pulled back gently and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and a small smile tugged at her mouth. There was drool on her mouth and her lips were puffy. I reached up and touched my own and found them tender. Ok, maybe it was a little sloppy.
“I like you too Pansy.”
I kissed her to remind myself of that kiss back then. She sighed deeply. “I love you,” I whispered softly into her ear.
“I love you too.”
I hated being contained like this. Even back then I did, I always have. Pansy doesn’t seem to mind to much. We’re different that way.
She’s a rose raised perfectly in a garden. Completely contained, I am a wildflower. We’re complete opposites. But we’re the same. We’re both flowers.
I placed my hand in between her thighs like I often did, loving the pressure and warmth I found there. But this time it was different. Pansy winced at the touch and I was instantly alarmed.
“Pansy what’s wrong?”
“Nothing just sore. Road a broom too long that’s all.”
I knew she was lying. I also saw more bruises that usual.
“Pansy tell me the truth. Did he,” I let out a slow ragged breath,” rape you?” I already knew. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I quickly got dressed. She followed. I full out sprint ‘til I get to the Slytherin portrait. “Open it,” I tell Pansy firmly, breathing deeply trying not to loose my temper.
She mutters something under her breath and the portrait swings open. I see him boasting about something while the boys around him laugh.
I stormed in with my wand out. “Did you hurt her?” I yell. My voice drops to a whisper so only he and I can hear, “ did you rape her? Because you have no right.”
“I don’t do I? She’s mine.”
“Oh yes,” he says and pulls her finger up sharply. I hear it crack and Pansy puts her other fist in her mouth to muffle the scream.
“But she doesn’t love you.”
“Then who does she love?”
“Me. And I love her” What I did next I had always dreamed of but never done. I grabbed her and kissed her. I gently pulled off the ring and threw it across the room as hard as I could. “Pansy live with me, be with me, kiss me, love me for the rest of your life?”
“Yes!” she threw her arms around me and kissed me.
“Pansy what about me, your parents, your reputation?”
“You know what Draco I don’t really care anymore.” she pulled me off and back to the room of requirement where we were before.
We were both free. Free from the weeds. The hands of a gardener telling us who to be. How to grow. And finally we are allowed to sit. Two flowers together nothing trying to kill us, petals blowing softly in the wind.
A/N Thanks for reading. I know some parts were pretty crappy. Please review and tell me what you think.