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Chapter 1 : The Silver Doe
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Disclaimer - Some of these scenes belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm also borrowing her plot and characters, while adding little details.
A ten-year-old Lily was sitting against a birch tree, a crying boy cradled in her arms. "Severus," she said softly, "what’s wrong?"
"It’s them," he shuddered, holding her tighter. She didn’t talk, only kept her hold on him, delicately stroking his black hair. "They were fighting, again. Mom got angry, she hexed dad," Severus paused gasping for breath, "then she left. Left me alone with him. He glared at me and he was angry too." Severus let go of Lily’s body, backing away. "He was in a rage." Shaking back the long sleeves, he revealed his arms.
Lily gasped, horrified to see the large blue and purple bruises covering his scrawny arms. "Severus," she whispered softly.
"It’s bad," he continued, "its always bad. I can’t stand it."
"You won’t have to much longer," Lily said soothingly, "then we’ll be at Hogwarts and you’ll be save."
Severus gave a demented laugh, "Safe. Yeah, safe until I have to go home for the summer."
"But you’ll know magic," Lily protested, "they won’t dare harm you then."
"I know magic already," he reminded her, "but my mother is a witch. Do you honestly think that is going to stop her?"
"I thought…" Lily stuttered, tears rising in her eyes.
"Don’t cry," he said, feeling ashamed of himself, "this isn’t your problem."
She looked into his eyes, "Sev, we’re best friends," she whispered, "your problems, are mine as well..."
They were outside, standing in a corner of the grounds. "Should you be doing this?" Lily asked.
"It will be fine," Severus promised, raising his hand over a broomstick and shouting "Up!"
The broom jumped to his hand. He attempted to swing his leg over it, but suddenly the broom started to buck. Severus kept a firm grasp on it, trying to keep it under control. He struggled from the effort to restrain the broom, while still trying to mount it. Lily stood near him, anxiously looking on.
A peel of laughter reached their ears. Lily turned to see a tall, blonde girl, pointing at Snape, laughing. His sallow face flushed, but he continued to struggle. The girl’s laughter got louder and more ridicules.
"Shut up," Lily shouted. The girl gazed at her, dumbstruck. "Go away," Lily ordered, drawing her wand.
Stunned, the blonde backed away, fearfully glancing at Lily’s wand. Severus was staring at Lily, a mixture of admiration and thankfulness written in his expression...
They were in the dungeons, waiting outside the potions room. Severus was standing next to Lily, whispering something in her ear. Evidently it was something pleasant, because she beamed up at him.
"Oi, Snivellus," yelled a voice.
Both of them whipped around to see James and Sirius standing before them, wands drawn. Remus was lingering in the background, a slight frown crossing his face.
"Get away from Evans," Sirius threatened.
Severus gave her confused look. She looked back, equally confused.
"You are a greasy slimeball," James said, "and you don’t deserve to be near her."
"And you think you are worthy," Severus sneered.
"Watch what you say," James said angrily, heat rushing to his cheeks.
Sirius raised his wand, "I told you to back away."
"No," Lily cried, blocking Severus.
"Evans, why are you standing up for the scum?" James asked disgustedly.
"He’s not the scum," she retorted angrily, "you are. You around hexing people because you think its cool. You brag to anyone who’ll listen about your Quiditch triumphs. You act like you own the whole damn school. You are a cocky, arrogant bastard. It’s a wonder anyone can stand to be near you. Sev is ten times the man you are. Let’s get away from the idiots," she added, turning to Severus.
He followed her down the corridor, shooting a satisfied smirk back at James, who was standing in the middle of floor, a dazed, hurt look on his face...
"Sev," Lily shrieked as she rounded the corner. She stumbled, falling into his arms.
"What is it?" he asked, concernedly.
"Potter and Black," she said, with as much contempt in the two surnames as she could manage.
"What did the bastards do?"
"They are doing it right now. Oh, please Sev, I need your help," she pleaded.
"Where are they?" he asked immediately.
Without a replying, Lily took off, dashing down the hall, her red hair streaming out behind her. "Here," she shouted moments later, rounding a corner and joining a crowd of people. "Let me through," she said loudly, pushing her way through the crowd. Severus followed her closely. They broke through the ring of people and discovered the source of the gathering. James, Sirius and Peter were leaning up against the wall, their wands out. Remus could not be found.
"Filth," Sirius breathed, aiming his wand at the young boy crawling around on the floor. A jet of blue light left his wand, striking the boy in the chest, causing him to emit a high pitched whine.
"Mother will hear about this," the boy panted on his hands and knees, gazing up at Sirius.
"And she will want to know why you didn’t defend yourself," Sirius said coldly, sending another jet of blue light at the boy.
The boy fumbled blindly along the floor, grasping a heavy textbook.
"No you don’t," James said warningly, blasting the book out of his hand.
The boy swore loudly.
"Watch your mouth," Sirius said lazily. "Scourgify."
Pink, foamy bubbles appeared in the boy’s mouth, causing him to gag.
"Stop it," Severus said quietly, drawing his wand.
"Snivellus," James said gleefully, "are you volunteering to join the loser on the floor?"
"Fununculus!" shouted Severus, his wand directed at Sirius. Sirius was too slow; the jet of light caught him directly in the face. Sirius roared, as large, painful boils spread across he face.
"Impedimenta!" James yelled, sending his spell at Severus.
"Protego!" Lily bellowed, causing a shiny shield to send the spell rebounding back towards James, who narrowly dodged it.
"Coward," James hissed, facing Severus. "Needing Evans to stand up for you."
"I can stand up for myself," Severus retorted angrily.
"Prove it," James taunted.
Severus slashed with his wand, causing a white flame to jump out, striking James across the face. Immediately he crumpled, falling to the floor. Angrily, Severus glared at him, before stalking out of the hall, admist the whispers of the watching students.
"Sev," Lily called, catching up to him.
"What?" he asked rather angrily, turning to face her.
"Why did you do that?"
"You heard what he said," Severus replied coldly. "He got what he deserved."
"You crossed the line," Lily said, hands on her hips.
"What?" Severus said incredulously, "I crossed the line? They are the jerks that run around the castle jinxing people."
"I admit, they are bastards," Lily agreed, "but they don’t cause actual harm. Severus, you could have seriously hurt him."
"I thought you didn’t care about Potter."
"I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt."
"Fine," Severus said harshly, "if it means so much to you, I’ll stop."
"Thank you." Lily gave him a quick hug...
The two friends were sitting underneath a willow tree. Snow covered the surrounding area, however the patch of grass they sat on was quite dry. Flickering blue flames were contained in a jar, warming them.
"I got you something," Severus presented her with a tiny package.
"Sev, it’s fantastic," she said happily, pulling out a tiny glass piece. It was colored yellow and shaped like a lily. I got you something too," she added, handing him a wrapped box.
He opened it slowly, pulling out a delicate silver chain, with a green emerald dangling off the end. "Green, like your eyes," he whispered softly, pulling the chain over his neck. "Thank you, Lily."
"No – listen, I didn’t mean to –"
" – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
He did not know what to say. Several times he opened his mouth, then closed it again. She gave him a contemptuous look, turned back and climbed through the portrait hole. He watched her go, regret etched across his face...
An older Severus and Lily stood on Platform 9 ¾. Around them, happy students were greeting their parents, saying goodbye to friends and leaving through the wall.
"Please," Severus pleaded to Lily.
"No!" she said firmly.
"I made my decision," she replied coldly. "You’ve changed. You chose your path; I chose mine. They are separate. I’m sorry Severus. I can’t do this anymore." She walked away from him, disappearing through the wall.
He watched her go, tears glistening in his eyes. "I loved you," he whispered softly...
The dementors were closing in on him; the air around him was full of despair. "No!" he cried sinking to his knees. The dementors kept coming; the air was getting cold. "No," he whispered, as a dementor’s hand reached out towards him. Unhappy images flittered through his head, each more painful then the previous.
Suddenly an image of Lily burst into his head. Sunlight was rising behind her casting an angelic glow around her. Her red hair was gleaming, her green eyes shining brightly. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Snape bellowed, focusing on Lily.
A silver doe erupted from his wand, driving the dementors away. Looking pleased, it cantered back to him, delicately tossing it’s fine head. "Lily," Snape whispered, reaching out to touch the doe. His hand passed through the patronus, falling to the ground. "Lily," Snape repeated, staring into the doe’s large, intelligent eyes...
"Spare the girl," Snape whispered, down on his knees, tears streaming down his face. "Take the others, just spare the girl."
Voldemort released a high pitch cackle, "save the girl? An interesting request coming from you. Tell me Severus, what does the mudblood mean to you?"
Snape stayed silent, his knees shaking.
"Answer me!" Voldemort roared.
Snape could feel Voldemort assaulting his mind. She is a friend, he thought hastily, a friend.
"You care this much for a mere friend?" Voldemort’s voice was cold. Snape did not respond. "It seems I have misjudged you Severus. CRUCIO!"
Snape’s screams and Voldemort’s sinister laugh split the sky...
Terrified, Severus entered the smoldering ruins of the Potter’s house. He lit his wand, surveying the destruction. He glanced down at the ground, seeing the blank eyes of James Potter staring up at him. Resisting the urge to give the corpse a kick, Severus moved on, horrified by what he might find.
He passed the burnt door and gasped. Lily Eva…Potter, was lying dead on the floor. A pleading expression was frozen on her face. Crying, Severus bent down to stroke her pale, cold face.
"Lily," he moaned, "I’m so sorry." He knelt next to her, not noticing the cold, hard floor. He ran his hand through her soft, red hair, feeling guilt and sorrow reign down on him. Gently, he removed the silver chain from his neck. He took one last look at the emerald dangling from it, before placing it in Lily’s outstretched hand. "I always loved you," he whispered, closing her hand around the gem.
He heard voices, approaching footsteps. Abruptly he rose, his eyes falling on something glinting on the ground. He bent down, picking up the glass lily. Swiping at the tears dangling off the end of his nose, Severus slipped the glass ornament into his pocket and turned on the spot, disapparating...
"Her boy lives," said Dumbledore.
With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly.
"Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily’s eyes, I am sure?"
"DON’T," Snape bellowed, "Gone…dead."
"Is this remorse, Severus?"
"I wish…I wish I were dead."
"And what use would that be to anybody?" said Dumbledore coldly, "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."
"What – what do you mean?"
"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily’s son."
Snape glanced up at Dumbledore, tears staining his face. His hand toyed with the glass lily in his pocket. Lily’s words washed over him, swirling around in his mind, ‘Sev, we’re best friends. Your problems are mine as well.’ "Very well. I’ll do it," he promised...
Snape knew he was dying. He could feel the blood leaving his head. He was getting fainter, weaker. His vision blurred. His head swam. His grasp on Harry’s robes slipped.
"Look…at…me," he whispered.
Harry’s green eyes faced him. Lily’s eyes. Lily’s beautiful, loving, green eyes. A smile crossed Snape’s face and he slipped away...
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