Chapter 31 : Get Over It
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"Do I really have to?"
"You break them, you buy them. It's the law."
"I didn't break your shoes, James. I puked on them. And it is not the law."
"That's even worse that you puked on them! If you were to break my shoes then I could at least take them off. I'm not touching them after you blow chunks of who-knows-what on them."
"Oh brother. Just keep your voice down, will you? You don't have to scream about it."
"I'm not yelling. You're just extremely hung over. And I will not cease until you assist!" James intertwined his arms grudgingly across his chest. I rolled my eyes.
"Take out your wand and clean them yourself. You have that ability." I smiled up at him with my eyebrows raised.
"I don't know any spells, though," James whimpered helplessly. "Please?"
"What will I get out of it?" I tried to mischievously get a reward for puking on shoes.
"I'll be your best friend? You know you want to." James winked with his mouth hanging open stupidly.
"What kind of wanker would want that sort of reward?" I giggled, waving my hand off in declination. I started to joke. "Give me the cash, or no deal."
"It's not like I'm rich!" James thrust his hands into the air.
"That's exactly what it's like," I corrected, clutching my stomach. I looked down at my middle section. My insides were starting to bubble and gurgle uncomfortably.
"Hey, where is Lily?" asked a curious James. He had noticed my drift and lack of concentration on the argument we were having and decided to change the subject. His mind was most likely always on Lily, anyway. It wasn't all that random to him.
I was about to respond to James when we both heard a spewing sound coming from my bathroom.
"I'm betting she's in there, getting friendly with Manny's toilet." I pointed to the bathroom door while holding onto my head. I was straining my eyes to keep them open. The light from outside was shining brightly through my bedroom window, and it wasn't helping to ease the pounding in my skull.
"My poor Lily," James cried half-jokingly and half-seriously. "You're turning her into a dark child like you!"
Of course I knew he was being sarcastic. I did kind of get a twisted pleasure in being implied a dark child... But it kind of bedeviled me, too. I felt provoked. Was that all that people thought I was? Some dark, mysterious, hopeless girl?
I veiled my exasperation with a smile and an eye roll. I lured my wand out of my dress with my left hand. I was still harnessed in the dress from the previous night because I hadn't gotten the chance to change out of it because I fell asleep, drunk. I attained that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was I feeling guilty about James' shoes? About Lily? About last night? Did my mind want to tell me that I knew last night was a regret?
Nope. I just had to puke.
I ran to the bathroom, but not quick enough. Before I even opened the door to get to the toilet, I remembered that Lily was in there still. I barely even noticed James asking me if I was going to be okay. I had to go find the hallway's bathroom. As I shielded my mouth with my left hand (my wand was in my right hand now), I ran steadily to the bathroom, leaving James in there to complain about his shoes. It was hardly the right time. I thought he wanted to follow me, but the barf on his shoes would spread all over the place.
I sensed my stomach effervesce unpleasantly again. Burning sensations of fire and phlogiston flared all over the top layer my deserving throat. Into my mouth. My eyes started to water at the foulness in my mouth. More discomfort. I hadn't noticed that I dropped my wand in the middle of the hallway until later on. I bent over as in pain and grappled my stomach.
I had puked on the deep blue carpet. Not only that. When I looked up, I saw him. Him. He had watched me at my weakest moment.
"Sirius," I gasped for fresh air. All that I got was a musky, putrid whiff of my own up-chuck.
"I umm, I heard James yelling. So I came to see what was going on."
I had a quick breathing pace and I had been brought to the floor. My knees were brushing against the carpet in a burning sensuality. I just knew my eyes were a vibrant purple color, and they were averted to the ground in humiliation. I was sweating profusely, and it was around lunchtime. I knew that I wasn't going to eat. I hadn't showered for about twenty-four hours.
But Sirius? No, he looked just as handsome as he ever was -- maybe even more than I was used to for some reason. His face was glowing with health, his light gray eyes were sparkling -- in this point of time because of curiosity -- his black turtleneck fit his build perfectly, and his shiny, long, black hair was set neatly in place.
"Are you alright, Kris?" Sirius asked hesitantly. I wiped my lips and chin with the back of my hand.
"I'm fine." I tried to stand up, but I was too drained of energy.
"Let me help you up--" He had noticed my struggle.
"No," I quickly shoved his helping hand away. "I think you've done your share."
He picked my wand up from the floor and kneeled over. I could smell his wonderful scent and started feeling insecure. I snatched my wand from his hands. "Scourgify." The vomit disappeared.
"And what do you mean, exactly?" he asked, wrinkling his eyebrows together.
"You left me the wine," I said as though it was obvious. My voice was stifled slightly from the saliva gathering in my open mouth. My lips were starting to deplete from moisture. I was starting to cry. I wanted get to the bathroom so quickly...so badly.......
"And you drank it," Sirius stood up. "You have to stop blaming other people for your wrong-doings."
"Get the fuck away."
"Do you want some water?" Sirius didn't leave. He just wanted to help me. I did want some water. But I had an even greater longing to stop speaking to him. So I snapped.
"Leave! If I want water, I'll get water! If I wanted to see you, I'd be in your room, waiting for you! And if I wanted to break promises, my name would be Sirius Black." I knew that I told myself that I would get drunk and forget my problems, but it only made new ones and enhanced the visibility of the ones I portrayed already.
He looked at me with those eyes. Those 'Sirius Black' eyes. All I wanted to do was stare at them, like gray clouds of fluff and fog in the sky. But then it hit me... I already did that when we were together. But all it brought was heavy rain.
"Okay," he said finally. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving." He recoiled from me, but something about the demeanor on his face prompted me to believe that he had no desire to.
Popping his head into my bedroom for James, he called for him to eat lunch.
"I'm going to wait for Lily!" I heard his muffled voice yell back to Sirius.
"I'm leaving..." Sirius started to pull away when James came waddling out of my bedroom with the contents of my stomach on his shoes.
He stared at me, sitting like a retard on the floor in the middle of a hallway. Then he glanced at his shoes and back at me.
"Your silence is unusual. I like it. Scourgify." I pointed my wand at his feet. "I'm not hungry, James. At all. I really need some water, though. Go have lunch without me. I think I'll just read in my room. Unless...we're doing something later. Are we?" I spat on the floor. I couldn't hold it for any longer, and I was certainly not going to swallow it. I cleaned it up with the cleaning spell again.
"Okay, well Remus and Amber are going to come over. Wormtail, too. Do you want to join us? I know how you like to be alone lately..." James drifted off.
"No. I don't think so. But I miss Amber and Moony... Sirius will be there, though. So, no."
"Want me to tell one of them to visit you? Or both, maybe?" I could see the pity in James' eyes as he said this. It was written all over his face.
I nodded in response. James smiled weakly.
"Okay. Just know that you're welcome to come find us if you change your mind."
"Am I welcome to have you carry me into the bathroom?" I looked up at him playfully.
"I didn't make this mess, once again. Clean it yourself." James quoted me from a few minutes ago in my bedroom. For a moment, I wished that Scourgify worked on cleaning my life up.
As I smiled and started to get up, James walked down the hall and eventually down the stairs.
After clearing my mouth out, I stood in the doorway of my bedroom. I glanced around the room I had been sleeping in and I spotted Lily.
She was huddled on the edge of my bed. She was different, though. Her face was looking pale-gray, her eyes less sparkly, and her hair askew. I couldn't help but to think that it was my fault. James' words were sinking in.
My poor Lily... His voice echoed in my head, taunting me, awakening my guilt, and I remembered my first time getting drunk and hung over. It wasn't a hobby of mine; I didn't do it daily or nightly, weekly, or even monthly. But I couldn't deny that I had done it more than two times in my life.
"Well, say something," Lily said, staring into my eyes.
"You don't look too hot," I said sinfully. "I'm sorry. I made you drink with me. I was upset, and--"
"You don't have anything to be sorry about, Kris. You didn't make me do it. I did it all on my own. Listen, we need to talk."
"You have to puke more?"
"Probably. But no, it's about you."
"I have to puke more?"
"No... Well, maybe, I don't know. But shush, just hear me out, okay?" She searched my eyes for seriousness. I nodded.
"Kris, I know what it's like to want to forget something ever happened. I've never told anyone about this before, but sometimes I regret getting accepted to Hogwarts."
I was stunned. Lily was an amazing witch. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't want to go to Hogwarts.
"Why?" I simply asked.
"My sister, Petunia. She...she's hated me ever since I got my letter and she didn't because she's a Muggle. I know what it's like to want to disappear for a couple of days. But I don't think it's healthy to do it this way."
"What way?" My blood was starting to boil.
"Well...your way. Drinking? Staying outside while it's snowing in a sleeveless dress with no coat for hours?! Hiding away from one of your best friends because you 'think' he broke a promise? It just doesn't click..." Lily matched her eyes with the floor.
"I didn't ask for your advice."
"Well too bad; I'm giving it to you for free. Because I care about you. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"I'm not like that, okay? Quit your worrying. Though I appreciate you going all mother-like on me, I have an interesting book I'd like to go try and finish." I waited for Lily to leave. But instead, she hugged me.
"I have to go get cleaned up, but I'll be back. Downstairs if you need me." Lily walked out of the room after I nodded in acknowledgement.
Rated on a scale of one to five, a Wearch is between a three and a four. Wearches do not look monstrous, but they are considered to be a creature of this kind based on what they can do. This includes a keen sense of feeling things before they happen, such as... I was studying my Care of Magical Creatures book, reading V-Z for when we reverted back to school and studied these types of creatures. I skimmed ahead, truly disentranced... Until I found the interesting part. When two Wardens', the fully grown Wearch, powers collide, it is said to take them to another "dimension" and one is brought back when the other dies. This is why most Wearches are hard to come across. Some ways of finding a Wearch or Warden is to look for emotionally disturbed witches and/or wizards. They have very vehement emotions that help them in battle, as rage may signify thunder or lightning. A Wearch is born with one specialty but may train itself to control other weather elements such as heat, rain, snow, and more.
"'Weather powers'? I'll believe it when I see it." I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of this 'monster.'
"I don't know. Odd powers aren't too hard to believe, are they?" divulged an utterance from my bedroom door.
Remus' head was popped into my room, seemingly cautious.
"Odd powers? No. Weather powers? Yes. No one can 'control' the weather. Weather is natural," I responded.
"I guess. I remember my parents fighting about something like this when...er, when I was really little."
"Really? That's kind of interesting." I put my book down gently on my bed. "But why would your parents talk about Wearches and Wardens?"
"...I can't say. I don't know why," Remus claimed, sitting down on my bed with me.
I decided to change the subject. "So is there a reason you've come to visit me?"
"Yes," Remus declared. "How are you?"
I paused. "How am I? Can't you tell? Look at me. I got drunk last night. Does that answer your question?"
"No, but it implies an answer."
"I heard what Lily said to you. She told me because she's worried about you still. I am, too." Remus looked into my eyes, searching for something he couldn't find for the life of him.
I groaned. "She told you some useless information then because I am fine! Stop it. Stop your worrying. I don't see everyone flipping out on Lily. She got drunk, too. For no reason? I think not. She told me. She's a hypocrite."
"Lily didn't just lose her father, Kris!" Remus stormed. I figured it was because he was mad that I was frustrated with too many things. He wanted to get his point across. He wanted me to listen, not just hear, to what he had to say.
"I'm sorry to mention it, but you can't do this forever. Sooner or later, you'll have to get over it. If you loved your dad, you'll let him go." Remus looked away shortly, but then he glanced back at me.
I looked him in the eye, clenching my teeth. I softened shortly after, but still felt the sting of his words.
"Come on. I'll go clean you up."
I nodded slowly and followed Remus to the bathroom to have him sponge my face. I still felt a little bit queasy, but I didn't barf again the whole day.
I was dressed in my pajama pants and a black tank top while making my bed for the night. Amber came to talk to me, and it felt good to catch up with her. I was well-recovered from the previous twenty-four hours, so I wasn't in the terrible mood anymore.
As I was about to step under the covers, I heard a knock at my door. Groaning, I went to answer it.
He looked at me in my tank top and turned away.
"What am I, your sister? It's okay to look, you know. What do you want?" I asked rudely.
"Oh, well..." Sirius glanced back at me. "I just wanted to apologize. I'm sorry--"
"Don't say that," I hissed. The words rolled off my tongue like fire. "You're wasting your time. Don't apologize if you plan on doing it again."
"I'm not planning on doing it again," Sirius said, floored.
"It doesn't even matter, just go to bed."
"May I come in?" He looked desperate. "I don't want to wake the Potters."
"What is there that's left to say? I think we're finished," I said in an opinionated tone.
"Look, you might not want to know, but I still love you. I was only trying to give you room to breathe--"
"Give me room to breathe? Or give yourself room to breathe by making up some story about Snape and me?" I stared into Sirius' eyes. "You've never had a real girlfriend, Sirius. I think you got scared."
Sirius was befuddled, shocked, and confused. His mouth hung ajar, so I closed it with my right hand. Just before slamming the door on his face, I whispered, "Goodnight."
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