She crawled into her bed and tears started to pour out slowly. She cried for her past, her present, and the horrible mess she had become. She couldn’t take care of her personal affairs- Viktor Krum had made that very clear. She couldn’t even baby-sit a little girl who she cared so much about. Her life was a gigantic pile of dragon dung and she felt that she couldn’t put anything back together again.
You did this to yourself. You did this to yourself; this is no one’s fault but your own.
There was a knock at the door. She turned her back on the door, curling up even further.
“Hermione?” his gentle voice startled her. He was supposed to be angry, not gentle.
___ Chapter 22: To Infinity, and Beyond
“Leave me alone,” she whimpered as memories from when she was seventeen began flooding her.
“Hermione, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going,” he put his hand on her shoulder and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I can’t do this, Draco,” she sobbed into the pillow.
“Do what? Tell me, please, Hermione,” he wasn’t sure what else to do to a crying woman. Sure, crying babies he could handle, but not crying women.
He lay next to her and they spooned, her back to his front. He put his arms around her waist. “Is this okay?” he asked, referring to their position.
He felt her nod and shudder.
“Did you ever notice anything different about me? Different from when we were younger?”
“Of course, there are changes in everyone.”
“No I mean, the way I went spiraling down. I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t a mess.
“I havent told anyone this in my whole life,” she whispered.
She found it better to talk to him when she wasn’t looking in his eyse. This way he couldn’t read her vulnerability.
“My first time…I lost my virginity to a complete stranger. Until this day, I don’t know who it was. Seventh year, it was just Harry, Ron and me and some Death Eaters caught up with us. Harry and Ron got away, but I was a prisoner. They tortured me, Draco, in every cruel way I could imagine. Head dunking, nail pulling…you name it. And then last, they decided to use sex as a weapon.”
Draco’s arm gripped her tightly, as she began to sob even louder. He turned her around so she was facing him, but she chose to bury her face into his shirt.
“I don’t know who I had my first time with. All I remember was that he had a hood on, was in his thirties by the sound of his voice, and it hurt a lot. They left me in a forest in the middle of nowhere. I felt that I was just a dead person walking around. Harry and Ron finally located where I was, but it was too late. I had been impregnated. There was a tiny human growing inside of me, and I was horrified.”
Now it was Draco’s turn to be shocked and terrified. He had tears in his eyes, and his heart seemed to be beating at a high tempo.
“I found out a week later, but I had begun to grow rather fond of the idea that when the war would be over, I would have my own little human to love. I was four months along when in the middle of a fight with that aweful Bellatrix Lestrange when I felt something rip inside of me.”
This was followed by a sob. Draco had picked her up and was cradling her in his lap, his back against the wall. He stroked the hair out of her face. He supposed it would be better for both of them if she just got it all out.
“I knew it, right when it happened, that my baby was gone. Harry was the first person to know something was wrong. He appropriated us both to the hopital as fast as he could, killing Lestrange along the way. He’s the only one that knows til this day of my little secret. Him and you. I thought I was a bad mother, that was why the baby left me. That the reason it was taken away from me was because I wasn’t good enough. And I apologize for those first few weeks when I came here and I called Noel a brat. It wasn’t because I didn’t like her. I loved her the moment I saw her, but it was just that you had something I didnnt have. You had someone who would love you no matter what happened.”
Draco really didn’t know what to say.
“And I fully understand if you hate me, or don’t want to be with me after you hear this,” she said getting up from his cradle. “Because if Iwere you, I’d probably not want to be with me either.”
“Not be with?” he asked, taken aback. “What are you talking about? Hermioine, you mean so much to me…and I don’t think it’s your fault that such horrible and unfair things have happened to you!”
Tears began to leak from her eyes again.
“Really?” she asked with a sniffle.
“Of course!” he exclaimed with a tender kiss to her mouth. “I think it’s good that we got this out. But I’d like to assure you that what happened with Noel today was not your fault! She’s a very weak child.”
“Please don’t say that, Draco. You left her in my care, and I failed. Just like I did nine years ago,” she whimpered.
(a/n: you have to read the next few paragraphs slowly for proper feeling!)
“No, no. No! Let me tell you my own story now. When Noel was just born, and I brought her from the hospital, I was broke. I hadn’t a dime! I had with me a backpack, some cheese and the rattiest apartment in London!” He started. “And something I still regret to this day was that I couldn’t take care of Noel that well when she was a baby, that is the reason she is so sick so often. It’s because of her weak immune system. Sometimes I couldn’t afford to feed myself, but I always found her milk and diapers.”
This story always made him sad.
“You know, I didn’t even like her when I brought her home. I had even contacted an adoption agency. But then, that first time she smiled, I couldn’t let go. She had no one in this world but me, and I couldn’t abandon her like everyone else had. So I went hungry for days, but never once did she miss a meal.
“I got a job at a casino, and then I was promoted to management several months later. The company was selling, so I took a few loans and with the help of my parents I was able to buy the one hotel. It went from there. I vowed to her, that I would never, ever, let her down. But, somehow I still do. She wonders sometimes, where her mommy is. I don’t know what to say.”
The two didn’t say anything for several minutes, but then Draco took her hand in his and led her to his room.
He kissed her gently and sweetly before motioning for her to lie down. She did as she was told.
“I honestly think we could make this work,” he said finally. The two were feeling much better after that communication session.
Hermione turned towards him and looked him in the eye. “I love you, Draco Malfoy,” she said slowly.
His expression visibally softened. He didn’t look panicked like Viktor had when she had said those words to him.
“I thought I would have to wait forever before you said that,” he whispered. “I love you, Hermione Malfoy.”
He smiled wickedly before he climbed ontop of her and kissed her. His hands searched her body, memorizing each detail. She began to open the buttons to his shirt, flinging it towards the door.
“You are the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on,” she murmured.
He grinned like a madman. “Why thank you.”
Seconds later, all clothes discarded, the two stared at each other.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked softly.
She nodded, kissing his earring-clad ear. “Y-your not..a…”
He chuckled at that, “And my daughter just dropped from the sky right?”
Damn, she thought, she ruined the moment.
“My bad,” she said. He kissed her once again on the mouth, making her almost squeal.
“I love you,” he whispered huskily into her ear, and the two flew into oblivion.
MWAHAHA! I feel so sick right now! Seriously. But I cut the chapter off at the perfect time since I don’t like to go into details! Quite frankly, details disgust me!
So there it is folks, you find out why Hermione was messed up with her blonde highlights and skinniness.
I’m sorry I updated so late, but see I updated both fics.
It was pointed out to me that I have very sucky grammar, so if anyone wants to proofread the chapter for me please leave me a message in the review or email me at TrevorTheFrog@hotmail.com. Sui unukar an ro (Japanese, I believe)
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