I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to write during my vacation. But this is just a little one-shot that the OOTP movie inspired me to write. I'm sorry I can't post for LLTCC like I want to, but I don't have access to that since I'm not on my own
computer. But, to tide you guys over since I won't be writing LLTCC until next week, here's a depressing little one-shot! I'm sorry if it sucks...I haven't written in a week!
P.S. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie gets three thumbs up from me! It kicked ass (even though it wasn't word for word of the book and Sirius still died ::cries::)!
“Where are you going?” My voice was groggy as I had just woken up. It was early in the morning, maybe five, The sun had not yet peeked out from behind the other houses and buildings.
I had awaken to no one. She had not been soundly asleep beside me as usual. I had been alone.
Like a criminal how had been caught in the act, she stopped dead, her back facing me as she was halfway to the front door.
Immediately my pulse quicken. Was she leaving me? We had only had a minor argument last night over dinner. But that had just been a tiny, insignificant rift. Was she leaving me over that?
But we had been contending a lot lately. And not like our little rows we had had when we were in school...those had only been for fun. She had only been testing my patience with her then...
Cautiously, as though she might flee at any sign of movement, I made my way from the hallway to the living room where she was, obviously on the route to the door. I could hear her sigh at my footsteps, but still, she did not turn to face me.
“To him.” She said finally, answering my question. My heart dropped into my stomach as an ill feeling licked my insides. Of all the terrible things she could be doing to me, she chose to torture me this way?
“No.” Was all I could think to say. I knew it wouldn’t move her in the slightest. She sighed, finally turning to face me.
"He has the right idea. You know he does."
The only thing I could muster was an incredulous face. Did she really think that he had the correct view?
Did she really think he was worth it? Worth dying, possibly?
I know she's strong willed. She'll never listen to me. She never has. But that doesn't mean I care for her any less...
"I know. I know. He has the right 'idea', but what does that matter? He's not worth getting killed for-"
"Of course he is! I believe what he believes! They're scum you know this!-"
"Yes. I do know this. But that doesn't mean I'm actually going to do anything about it-"
"Coward! How can you not want to fight with him?"
"Fight for him?! More like die for him..."
She wasn't going to listen. She just argues and argues.
I can't win.
But I won't let her go.
"Don't 'Trix' me!" She snapped, pointing a pale, accusing finger at me. I've heard that harsh tone so often, I didn't even flinch. It didn't matter how loudly she yelled. Or how cold she was. I would not back down.
Bellatrix turned to leave again, a scowl adorning her fair face. I wouldn't let her leave. She had to know that.
At some point in our argument, I had marched the length of the living room and was standing before her, staring down at my girlfriend. I grabbed her shoulder, turning her to face me. She fought back (as usual), thrashing her arms and trying to push me away. I wouldn't be pushed away. I wouldn't let her leave.
Getting a firm grip on both her shoulders I connected my eyes to hers, but she wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't let me get to her. Even though I always did in the end.
"Only because you know it gets to you. You know I’m the only one who can change your mind." I snapped, matching her previous tone to her previous command.
“Not anymore you can’t.” She glared, finally glancing up at me with her dark eyes. My grip tightened.
"Coward." She muttered, narrowing her eyes. I smirked, causing her eyes to reduce to angry slits.
She didn't hate me. She was just angry.
"Bellatrix." I stated. Bellatrix sighed mockingly.
"William." She returned, her voice sickly sweet. I rolled my eyes, rapidly growing weary with her
"Don't do this." I warned, boring my eyes into hers. She seemed unmoved.
"You know I will anyway." She countered. Bellatrix was no longer glaring. She was getting fed up with my persistence.
"Don't join him." I admonished again, my jaw set. She shook her head incredulously, her dark black locks swaying across her face, contrasting with her pale complexion.
"I'm eighteen. I can do whatever the hell I want to." She bit, her sour look reappearing on her
features. I sighed, rolling my eyes again.
"You're eighteen. Do you honestly think you're ready for that kind of...of... club?"
"It's not a club, it’s a cause!" She immediately fired up, her eyes wild with anger.
"A cause to get yourself killed!" I shouted back, keeping my grip on her shoulders, knowing she'd
try to break free again.
"Why should you care what I do?" She asked, her voice in a deadly whisper now.
"Because I love you. You know that." I spat, concealing my disappointment that she had not even thought of that important reason. I hadn’t been with her for two years for nothing.
Bellatrix sighed, backing away from me. I let my hold on her go limp, and let her walk.
"I have no room for your love anymore." She said. She wasn't angry but determined. Although, I couldn’t help but detect the slight waver in her voice. Bellatrix had never been “lovey dovey”, but she did love me. I knew that.
But still, I could feel my heart break. Was she throwing away two perfect years to kill a couple of Muggles? To give the Wizarding world the “right idea”? And she was letting me go because she didn't have anymore room for me in her life?
She had picked joining Lord Voldemort over being with me.
My mouth opened for a moment, the shock washing over me.
"You don't love me then?" I asked, confused all the same. She shook her head, not meeting my eyes.
"Don't call me that." She said softly, letting her face be curtained by her dark hair as her gaze dropped to the floor. I was still thunderstruck.
Bellatrix continued to back away from me, until she was at the front door. I watched, numb, as her hand slowly, painfully, made its way to the doorknob.
"Hey, Black." I said suddenly, though my voice was casual. I hoped she'd turn around at hearing her last name. In school, I had always called her by her surname...even before we were dating...
But Bellatrix did not turn to me. Her hand stopped midway to the doorknob as she waited for me to continue.
"Why can't you feel me here?"
She sighed again.
“Its not that I can’t. It’s that I don’t want to.”