Chapter 3 : Part III: Remembering
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Nymphadora Tonks stood up looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a dull shade of pink, her eyes were puffy and red and her nose seemed to match it perfectly. It was safe to say that she was in a mess. She had been home for two weeks and it had been two weeks of absolute agony. She didn’t even know how she managed to convince herself that she could do magic or when it even started. When Severus told her that she hadn’t been able to do magic for a while a bunch of memories that she had tried so desperately to cast aside came rushing back at her.
She rose up the gray jumper she was wearing and examined her stomach. It looked just like it did three years ago except for the three parallel lines that were cut diagonally across her skin. The one in centre, which was also the deepest red, was cut right across her belly button. She let her hands pass over them softly. Even though it had been two years since it happened, it was still tender and still had the look like it would bleed out if the slightest bit of force was placed on it. Even though she looked in the mirror everyday, she hadn’t seen that scar in years, she tried to act like it wasn’t there and after a while, it disappeared in her head, she could no longer see it. But here is was again, looking almost as bad as it did the day she got it.
She pulled back down the jumper and went back to her bed. She curled up under the sheets and closed her eyes. She hadn’t been able to sleep. All the memories that she was blocking out for so long were coming back at her, strong and vivid as if seeking revenge for being neglected. Some of them were horrible memories, some of them were good but all of them evoked the same emotion, sorrow.
Tonks sat in an empty room looking at her watch. It was well after midnight, Remus said he would be there by nine. A familiar shot of fear seized her body. What if he had been discovered? What if Greyback knew he was a spy? She squinted at the thought because it was too horrible to think of. No, he had to be on his way. It would be a short time before he was with her.
She lay on the bed knocking her feet together and examining the watch that once belonged to her father. She stayed like this for two hours and with each second that went by a little voice in her head would scream in panic. Her breathing had become heavy, her throat had tightened and her eyes were burning. “Where are you Remus?” she said to herself.
The loud crack was the best sound she had heard in ages. And just like that all her emothions of fear, doubt and sadness had converted to relieve and happiness.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, turning around to see her face tear stricken. “I told you there would be times like these.”
She wiped her tears suddenly feeling ridiculous for crying in the first place. “You’re five hours late Remus, what kept you.”
He took of his travelling cloak and rest in on a chair. “Greyback seems to think there is a traitor in our mist.”
She shrieked. “Oh no, does he suspect you.”
He shook his head and began to undo his shirt that was tattered. “No, hardly. He suspected Rovine because he has been expressing doubts about certain plans and openly opposing Greayback.” He took off his shoes and tossed them aside.
“Thanks heavens,” she said. “You were really lucky there.”
He joined her in the bed and under the covers, she immediately wrapped her arms around him. He sighed. “Well Rovine wasn’t so lucky, he’s dead.”
She looked at him in shock. “He killed him?”
He looked away form her. “Yes and I was forced to look on and do nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” she said letting her hand past over his bare chest. There were numerous scratches over his body, his chest was no exception. “I wish you didn’t have to do this.”
“But I do, don’t I?”
She hated it. It wasn’t fair that he should have to put himself in danger and be in the presence of a man he had feared since his childhood. She couldn’t wait until the war was over and he could be with her without having to worry about Greyback seeing them together. Greyback had demanded that all the werewolves in his pack reveal their human forms and he was forced to comply. She was the only member of the order he was in contact with and it was only after begging and crying on her part. They would only meet about once a month to spend the night together. She wished that it could have been more, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, taking care of him, making him happy, listening to his adventures and misadventures of his youth. She loved him .
He looked down at her. “What are you thinking about, when ever you're thinking it’s always something dangerous.”
She smiled at him. “ I was thinking that we should get married.”
He was silent for a while but she knew it wasn’t because he didn’t want to: it had to do with him always being surprised by her affection for him. “I suppose we could, once it’s all over, granted I have no money and you will be a poor bride.
She laughed, he would always remind her of all the things that was wrong with him but she didn’t care. “I don’t care I want to marry you.”
“Okay,” he said softly and took her hand and kissed it.
“I don’t think you understand. I want to marry you now.”
“Now,” he asked letting a light laugh leave his lips.
He laughed out loud. “You’re crazy.”
“I know and that’s why you love me.”
He reached down to her and kissed her softly on her lips.
END FLASH BACK
She passed her hand over her ring finger, there was nothing there. No, she had long taken it off. It was in a box at the bottom of her underwear drawer. That night, with a ring that cost five nuts, they were married by a complete stranger on the streets. It was the happiest day of her life and from the look in his eyes she could tell he felt the same way. Their honeymoon was a trip back to the leaky cauldron where they had a glass of elf-made wine and spent the rest of the night in each others arms.
They told no one, for almost a month it was their little secret.
“I think Snape is a right old prat for suspending her.” Ginny said.
“Ginny don’t talk about your Professor like that,” corrected Mrs. Weasley.
“Ginny she’s actually sort of lucky that he only suspended her. Trust me; he has fired people for much less. He actually almost fired me for telling her about Bellatrix.”
“But that’s not fair, she’s an Auror too,” complained Hermione.
Ron from next to her snorted softly. “Well except for the fact that she can’t do magic anymore.”
“That’s not funny Ron, losing Remus was very hard on her.”
The Weasleys had gathered for Sunday lunch and were discussing Tonks. Hermione, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley had been to see her the day before and they all decided that she was in a mess and inconsolable. They had invited her to spend some time at The Borrow but she declined, she seemed intent on remaining in doors for as long as possible.
“I think she needs to get back to work, to take her mind off things,” Ginny said.
“Professor Snape was the only person who would have given her a job and he himself is under fire for just suspending her. People are very upset about this. They think just because Bellatrix managed to escape again that Voldemort is a day away from coming back.”
“I know, did you read that article in the Daily Profit saying that Professor Snape only offers jobs to close friends even though they are more useless that a clock with no hands.” Hermione looked like it had been a personal attack on her.
“It’s funny how quickly they forget who was partly responsible for catching him in the first place... all this stupid talk about him being in league with Bellatrix.”
“I always knew he was innocent?” said Ron.
They all looked at him and laughed. If there was one person who would bet their life on Snape being evil it was Ron.
“So how’s he taking it?” Hermione asked Harry.
Harry shrugged. “Well he said that he’s not going to fire her just because of some stupid articles but you can tell he’s upset about it. He’s been very grumpy...well more than usual anyway. It’s odd because I think he has a soft spot for her.”
“Well all teachers have soft spots for their students,” Molly explained.
“Well he never had a soft spot for me,” complained Ron.
“Well at least the pretty ones,” Harry said under his breath so no one could hear him. The rest of them did not work closely to Snape, so none of them knew just how much he would let Tonks get away with. He was certain that Snape’s interest was more that just that of a former teacher. But knowing Snape he was most likely unaware that he felt that way or beating himself up for feeling that way. It made no sense for him to be brooding over Lily who was long gone when there’s a lonely heart broken woman who needed comforting. Yes, he thought to himself. He would get Tonks to fall in love with Professor Snape. They would be good for each other.
“What’s he going to do?” asked Mr. Weasly. “I’ll tell you one thing, Fudge is not pleased.”
“Oh I think he’s going on leave until the whole thing calms down,” Harry said
“That could take a while,” said Hermione.
“Well he’s taking six months, said he’ll start writing his Defence Against the Dark Arts book.”
Tonks was still rolled up under her covers when she heard a knock at the door. It was most likely Molly and Ginny coming to cheer her up. She appreciated their efforts but she would have preferred to be left alone. She sighed and unwrapped herself. She knew that they would know that she was home, since she was always home these days.
She crossed the bedroom and walked out to the living room and then to the door. She wiped her eyes and tried to fix her hair before answering the door.
“Good day Nymphadora.”
She looked at the visitor in shock; he was the last person she was expecting to see. After she had made a disaster of things she thought that he would never speak to her again. “Hello,” she said softly. She stood there looking at him in the hall way. He was dressed in a muggle shirt and tie and a black trousers, he looked quite different in those clothes compared to his wizard robes.
“Can’t I come in; I need to speak to you about something important.”
She snapped out of it. Of course it was terribly rude leaving her boss outside on the corridor. She opened the door to him.
Her apartment was in a mess and she knew it. Since she hadn’t been able to clean it up by using magic she didn’t bother to clean at all. She showed him to the living room where he took a seat and she took a seat opposite him in another chair.
“How has it been?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Horrible.”
“Hmm, he said. His eyes were glancing at all corners of the room, no doubt looking at the state of the apartment. Her clothes were unfolded in another chair. Empty wine bottles were still on the coffee table, flies were attacking a bowl of fruit that had been there for more than a week.
“And how has it been for you?”
“Like wise,” he said looking up at her. “Although I still mange to keep my manor tidy.” He meant this as a joke but she wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “I am sure you have heard that I am taking a leave.”
She felt a surge of guilt. Molly told her about the troubles he was having with the press. She nodded slightly. “Yes I heard and I am sorry that I forced you into this position.”
He nodded. “But all is not lost Little Nymph; this only gives me time to do something I have been longing to do for years.”
She couldn’t venture a guess as to what it was. She had no idea what it was that Severus Snape would want to do. “What is it sir?”
He sighed. “I have always wanted to write a book in Defence Against the Dark Arts and I have never had a free day until now. Now I have six moths worth of them.”
“That’s brilliant sir.” She said this but she was still unhappy. She couldn’t be distracted by writing a book, there wasn’t a single topic in the world that she knew well enough to write a book on, the only thing she was good at was being a Auror and since she couldn’t do that anymore, she was forced to stay home and relive painful memories.
He shifted in his seat and then looked down at palm of his hands. “Are you quite comfortable here?”
She shrugged. “Well It’s home isn’t it.”
His eyes bore a slight look of disappointment. “It’s a shame. I would have been able to use you.”
“Use me how?” she asked. The prospect of being asked to work was exciting. “If I can’t do magic how can I work.”
“Well you wouldn’t need magic to be my assistant.”
“I know you had problems with this position earlier but it will only be for the duration of my leave.”
She felt her heart leap. She wanted nothing more than to have a job, even if it was just as his assistant again. She couldn’t bear to be home alone with only memories of Remus to keep her company. “I’ll do it,” she said.
“Not so hasty Nymph,” he said. “You must know that I can only pay you half of what you earn at the office.”
“I’ll take it.”
He held up his hands. “And I will be working around the clock.”
“I’ll do it,” she said again.
“So you’ll have to stay at my manor.”
She stopped and looked at him. “At your mannor.”
“Yes, I can have my house elf prepare a room for you.”
She thought about? Was she prepared to live with Severus Snape for six moths? If it meant that she’d be able to work the idea didn’t seem so bad. Maybe he could even help to take her mind off Remus for a while. “Sure I’ll do it.”
He nodded and stood up form the seat. She could see a faint trace of a smile on his lips. “Well I expect you to start Wednesday. And I should tell you that I keep a clean house so none of this...” he said pointing at the mess that was all over the room.
“Oh no sir,” she said making a pledge over her heart.
He nodded and walked to the door. “Remember, Wednesday bright and Early.” With that he exited the apartment leaving Tonks in a considerably better mood than she was when he first came.
NOTE: So you know what to do, leave me a review.
If the flashbacks are confusing, don't worry. It's all part of my plan he he
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