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Chapter 5 : You Still Have Ron
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Disclaimer: nope, I don’t own HP...I wish, but I don’t!
I found myself standing in front of Darden in my living room and I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. I pulled out my wand quickly and healed my elbow before turning back to her.
"Hermoine who the heck was that and why are you crying?" she was the type of person who didn’t beat around the bush. When she wanted to know something she asked and she expected a truthful answer in return.
"It was Ron," I stopped crying abruptly and began pacing around the room. I saw Darden’s face pale.
"But you haven't seen him in years!"
"Don’t be smart with me, and would you stop pacing!" I cringed at her high screech and actually did stop to look at her. She didn't yell much and it had surprised me. She smiled, "Sit down, and tell me why you are crying."
"I can't sit, I’m too worked up. Oh my God you should have heard him Darden, he was acting all crazy. He started talking about how he talked to Harry before he left the Burrow and how he has been talking to Ginny lately."
"Oh come on…Harry and Ginny, everyone in the entire wizarding world knows they are dead!" I yelled at her, angry at how thick she was being.
"Oh Merlin," she raised her eyebrows; I had known her for five years and deduced that she was now in her thinking mode. "You never told me he was so weird!"
"I didn't know he was that messed up, it's as it was before he left. He would be perfectly normal then just start acting all odd. That’s the only way to explain it," I tried to remember the day that caused Ron to begin changing so much.
It had nearly been a year since Ginny's death, and everyone was starting to act and feel normal again. Well as normal as someone can act with the death of a dear friend and family member. There wasn't a day that we didn't all think of Ginny, not a day we didn't wish she could spend with us, but finally we were back to going among our daily routines. Almost just how life had been. Nearly.
"Ron if you don't clean up your clothes right now I will- I will..." Ron came over and put his arms around my waist. We were still not a couple but the fact that we liked each, a lot, was evident to anyone and everyone.
"You'll do what?"
"Hey that's not fair, you're playing on my emotions," I spun around to face him taking my wand out of my back pocket, "I'll hex you!"
He grabbed my wand, "Now I never have to pick up my clothes because you have no wand to hex me with," he stuck his tongue out at me playfully. Oh what a git, I smiled wickedly before picking up his wand off his dresser and pointing it at him triumphantly. I began to laugh at the look on his face.
"Damn, you win," he walked over to his clothes with his head down and began to pick them up. I smiled; winning was, after all, a brilliant feeling.
My smile faltered as Ron turned around to look at me and my eyes widened as he ran toward me and tackled me to the floor. He kissed me roughly before looking into my eyes seriously. I could tell he was about to say something but then he shook his head and I felt my stomach drop. He was chickening out again. His smile grew and he got an evil glint in his eyes before he began tickling my stomach. You would have never known we were nineteen years old. I was laughing so hard it took me a full minute to notice Mrs. Weasley in the doorway, but when I did my face fell. Ron kept tickling me until he saw the change in my face and looked up to see what I was looking at. Mrs. Weasley stood in the doorway with tears sliding down her cheeks. Ron was off of me and to the door in a flash asking his mum what was wrong.
"You best sit down dearies," her voice was shaky and it was making me nervous. We sat down on the bed and she stood in front of us.
"Harry well ...Harry was found dead in his apartment this morning.” The way she said it was so blunt that I thought she might’ve been joking, “Oh lord I knew we should have insisted on him staying here." I sat there in shock before my damn emotions gave way and my eyes began to water. Mrs. Weasley wrapped her arms around me, attempting to give me with some sort of comfort. I felt ill, and pushed her away before running to the bathroom trying to keep my lunch from coming up. I emptied my stomach’s contents into the sink and cried harder as I rinsed the sick down the drain. I stood over the sink grasping the edges of the porcelain counter so tightly my hands began to ache. I prayed and prayed that this was all a mistake, that our raven-haired best friend was still alive. He was just joking with us, of course he was. I slowly lifted my head until I was looking at myself in the mirror. My forehead and hair were wet with perspiration and I was as pale as snow. I glared at my retched self, hating that I hadn’t been able to save Harry. Harry would never joke about something so serious. He was gone. When I regained my composure, as much as one could at a time like this, I walked back into Ron's room as quickly as my wobbly legs would carry me.
Right when I walked in my full attention went to Ron who was pacing and mumbling to himself: "But the death eaters are gone, Voldemort is gone... no he wouldn’t have done that."
"Ronald the mediwizards say he died of grief," Mr. Weasley's voice startled me; he must have come in while I was in the lavatory.
"That's not possible dad, I’m not even a doctor and I know that. Besides, he's been through so much anyway. He could have lived forever; someone had to have killed him."
"No. Son, Harry didn't want to live anymore. He loved you and Hermione, but I suppose with Ginny's death he had reached his breaking point," Mr. Weasley's eyes were bloodshot, "His parents died, then Sirius, then Ginny. I think there's just a point in someone's life when they have had enough."
"We must not have spent enough time with him," I finally spoke, and I sat back down on the bed before my knees had a chance to give out.
"This is not something to blame yourself for Hermione. The thing is, Harry didn't want us to see him suffer. I wish I could have helped too but I don’t know how much it would have even done for him," Mrs. Weasley put her hand on my back to soothe me as I continued to cry openly.
"No, he can’t be dead! You’re lying." Ron yelled while pointing at his dad. He pulled at his hair before kicking a wooden chair, sending it toppling on its side. It wasn't fair, why did my friends have to die. It wasn't normal; I just want a normal life!
"Mrs. Weasley I'm so scared, why does everyone I love have to die?" I whispered in her ear as Mr. Weasley tried to calm Ron.
"Not everyone my dear, you still have Ron," and a fresh tear fell from the woman’s eye landing on my arm.
"Hermione? Earth to Hermione...er...I see what Jerry means about daydreaming," Darden was waving her arms in front of my face wildly. I shook my head clearing away my thoughts.
"Oh. Sorry, what did you say?" I mumbled moving to my cupboard to get out some coffee.
"I asked if you miss him," she said quietly knowing full well I wouldn't want to hear this question.
"Of course I do Darden," I opened the coffee box a little more violently then needed making her jump, "But it doesn’t matter, if we ever became close again he'd just run away. Plus I don't think I can stand the emotional strain of being reminded of everything that happened after the war. I've forgotten it all and I want to keep it that way."
"What do you day dream about all the time if you've forgotten the past? And what makes you think he would be the one to run away?" god damn her and her millions of questions.
"Darden!" I groaned, clearly annoyed.
"Ok...okay I'm just trying to make a point."
"Point taken, now don't tell me you didn't get that tall guy’s number and you aren't dieing to call him," I smiled at her, well it was more of a grimace but I don’t think she really noticed.
"Can I barrow your phone?" she bounced up and down on my couch enthusiastically.
"As long as you stop breaking my furniture and start acting like the twenty-four year old you are, yes you may," I responded coolly before finishing making my coffee in the kitchen. She stuck her tongue out at me and went in my room to go use the phone. However much I appreciated her comfort, I like to be by myself and think when I'm anxious.
I added some crème to my coffee and grabbed a blanket from my closet. I laid down on my couch with my blanket tilting my head back on the armrest, and then I took a sip of my coffee savoring the earthy taste and closed my eyes. I heard Darden giggling in the other room, probably flirting with that new guy of hers. I sighed, I felt so empty, like I hadn't eaten in days. I wasn't hungry though, and couldn't have eaten if I wanted to. I was really just so very alone. I couldn't recall ever feeling so lonely since the day Ron had left five years ago.
A/N: Hope you liked it, reviews are appreciated :)
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