My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that.
-Michael Buble: Home
Tuesday evening, Sirius was sitting in the common room and looking out the window sadly. His friends were outside goofing off while he sat inside, pitying himself.
Why did you do that do her?
I didn’t mean to.
Then what did you mean to do?
I just wanted a good snog.
You are so vain.
I can’t help it! And the shag afterwards wasn’t too bad either.
You hurt Alina’s feelings!
“She hates me,” Sirius muttered bitterly to himself. He got up and went to the portrait hole and walked through the stone corridors aimlessly. He felt cold and lonely. He passed people who waved at him, but he didn’t wave back despite his loneliness.
About fifteen minutes later, he found himself standing in the library. He felt very uncomfortable in the place, but he knew what he was looking for.
“I thought that I’d find you here,” Sirius said as he sat down next to Alina at a table. She ignored him and buried her head further into her book. He looked at the title. It appeared to be a book about Animagi.
“So, you’re reading a book?” he said.
That sounded so bloody dumb, Padfoot!
Hey, at least I’m trying to make a conversation here.
“That is something that I do,” she said angrily as she tilted the book down a bit. “What do you want?”
“I’ve, erm, I’ve been thinking about you.” She rolled her eyes and looked at him as though he were lying to her.
“I am telling the truth.”
“I’m sure you are. You just want me to sleep with you. Everyone knows that’s what you do once you cheat. You apologize and then attempt to sleep with the girl. I will not fall for that, Sirius Black.”
“That’s what people think?”
She nodded, her eyes showing a bit more concern than anger now. She put the book gingerly down on the table.
“You mean that’s not what you do?” she said softly, obviously guilty. He shook his head. She stayed quiet as though she was waiting for him to speak.
“I really have been thinking about you,” he said after a few moments of silence. “And I’m truly sorry. I did not want to hurt you.”
You sound like a softy!
Well, you’re trying to apologize to her.
I still sound weak and like a weenie!
Just shut up.
“Have you?” she said, reaching her hand out for his. “You really did hurt my feelings though. I didn’t think you would do something like that. I’ve heard other girls talk about you doing those things, but I never believed it. I always find it difficult to believe such things about people.”
She is too good for you, mate. She wouldn’t harm a fly and here you are, hurting her feelings.
Just shut up!
“I don’t think that I can forgive you just yet,” Alina said, looking into his eyes thoughtfully.
“I really am sorry, though,” he answered, giving her hand a squeeze.
“I can see that, but I do not want to get hurt again. I have been hurt too many times to let someone that…” She abruptly cut herself off. Sirius looked at her curiously.
“Are you all right?” he said, his eyebrow furrowing in confusion and frustration. She nodded reluctantly and took her hand from Sirius. She picked her book up and began reading.
“What were you going to say?” He put his hand on her arm and looked at her with deep curiosity.
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” she said. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion. She put her book down and looked at him.
“I promise you that it is nothing of importance,” she said, placing her hand upon his. He looked at her, still not believing that what she had said was unimportant.
“Let’s get out of here,” Sirius said, wanting to pry the words out of her mouth. She looked at him and smiled. She stood up and put her books away before following Sirius out of the library.
“Where were you planning on going?” Alina said as Sirius wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They walked slowly through the Hogwarts corridors and soon found themselves walking the grounds. It had already turned dark and the stars and the moon were hanging over the Black Lake.
“Alina?” Sirius said as they sat down on the dewy grass beside the midnight colored lake. She leaned back into a laying position.
“Yes, Snuffles?” she said, smiling a bit. He took her hand as he lay down next to her on the damp ground.
“What were you going to say earlier?” he asked, turning on his side to face her. He put his hand on her smooth porcelain skin, starting at her cheek and trailing down to her neck. She reached over and put her hand on his chest. It wasn’t lustfully, but more of a loving gesture.
“Sirius, I just don’t want to get hurt,” she said sadly with much more seriousness in her tone than before.
“Why would I hurt you?” he said, concerned.
“You cheated on me, Sirius. That hurt me.” She avoided eye contact with him although his hand was still on her neck.
“I’m sorry.” He looked at her as though this would make her look at him.
“But you still did it and it still hurt.”
“What were you going to say earlier?” Sirius repeated though it was completely off topic.
“I was going to say…I was going to say that I didn’t want to be hurt by someone that I love,” she said, bringing her eyes back to his.
“No, no. Don’t say that. I’m not a good guy to love,” he said.
What are you saying?!
I’m saying that she can’t love me!
Why the bloody hell are you saying that?!
She just can’t!
“Your head doesn’t always make decisions for you, Sirius,” Alina said as she pulled closer to him.
“Is that the truth?” he whispered as she snuggled her head into the crook of his neck.
A/N: *runs and hides* I know. It's very short! Review anyway and you may have a new chapter waiting for you tomorrow.