Chapter 1 : You're Never Alone
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Past the forest and beyond the castle sat a boy, staring at the glassy surface of the lake. One hand raked the messy fringe on his forehead, exposing the marked flesh there. A disturbance occurred in the lake, but the boy, so preoccupied, didn’t notice.
The boy was supposed to be somewhere else, there was a crowd a mile away at the school waiting to talk to him, to congratulate him. He was their hero, yet here he was, contemplating life alone.
He knew what his actions made him. Not just a hero, but also a murderer. People would never see past the good he’d done, they’d never know the struggle he faced within himself. He thought that finishing it would be good; he thought he would have no regrets. But here he was, not knowing if living was something he deserved.
The moment replayed in his mind like an endless loop. The moment he had killed the most feared dark wizard of all time. For a moment, when he had disarmed Lord Voldemort, he saw a flash of fear. A flash of Tom Riddle, just a lonely and scared boy. He had then uttered the words that had the hero at the lake, wondering about what he’d done and what his true intentions had been: “Congratulations on becoming a murderer”. Less than a minute later, Lord Voldemort lay on the floor, life finally taken from him. The man, the monster who was responsible for so many deaths of innocent people, was finally a memory, leaving in his wake ashes of battle and prematurely ended lives.
What was he to do? He wasn’t as bad as the man he’d killed, was he? Lord Voldemort had no family and caused pain because he could. The hero knew he couldn’t live like this, thinking that he was a murderer.
He had been avoiding his friends; he now thought he was a danger. How could he be ear people he loved, people who told him that what he did was good, when he knew the truth? He couldn’t, he wouldn’t put them in danger, they didn’t deserve that. They deserved to live full and healthy lives, without trying to carry his burdens.
His two best friends had finally found love with each other, after six long years of friendship and frustration. The boy knew that he couldn’t find love, murderers weren’t capable of love. This point had been proven by Lord Voldemort.
‘Maybe it would be best,’ he thought, focusing on the murky depths of the lake. ‘Maybe it would be best if I wasn’t here anymore…’
The boy took two steps toward the lake. He was at the shore, his toes barely an inch from where the waves stopped.
‘Make it end’ the forest seemed to whisper. ‘Put a stop to the pain in yourself and your friends…’
“Yes,” the boy whispered, a single tear sliding from his emerald eyes.
He walked into the freezing cold of the lake, until he was waist high.
‘Do it’ the forest whispered forcefully.
‘Come in’ the water rippled.
The boy took a deep breath. He thought of his friends, of his almost family and his teachers.
‘It’s for the best, I’m doing them a favor’ he decided. Without another thought he launched himself into the lake.
His robes dragged him down, but he didn’t fight the pull, he welcomed it. Small creatures swam by him as he sank deeper and deeper.
His body wanted to fight…
I’ll get to see my parents, Sirius and Dumbledore again.
His legs pushed him toward the surface…
I won’t have to deal with the rumors, or talk about what happened.
His lungs were bursting with the need for air…
I’ll be at peace.
‘Will you?’ his mind questioned. ‘Will you be at peace knowing that you just gave up?’
“No.” He said to himself, and without another thought he began to fight to the surface.
He had wasted too much time. His air was running out and his vision was beginning to blur. He pushed harder to get to the surface, but he knew it was too late. He was 10 feet from the surface. The last thing he saw before he passed out was a flash of red, then nothing.
“Good thing you found him. If you hadn’t gone looking for him, he would be dead.”
“Thank you professor”
“How did you know where he was?”
“There are some things that only a loved one knows, I guess…”
“Well then, when he wakes, if you could send for me…”
“Of course Professor McGonagall, I will.”
“Goodbye then, Miss Weasley.”
The boy lying on the bed in the hospital wing with the broken glasses on his night side table vaguely heard the conversation in his state of half-consciousness.
Ginny… Ginny had saved him.
‘I’ll have to thank her…’ he thought as he slowly drifted back to sleep.
“Please wake up” a woman’s voice said, clouded with tears.
The boy on the bed opened his eyes cautiously, pausing half way. He wanted to hear what the girl had to say, without interrupting her.
“I know why you did it. I know why you broke it off between us, but I don’t know why you thought there was no way out. There is. I love you, I want to be with you, and I want to help you.” Ginny gave a strangled sob.
“I don’t know,” Harry mumbled, giving her a start. “I don’t’ know how you could love a murderer,”
Ginny looked at him for a moment and stood up. She lifter her hand and smacked him soundly across the face.
“Don’t.” She said forcefully. “You’re not a murderer, you’re a hero. And I don’t care,” She said, rushing when she saw him open his mouth to interrupt. “I don’t care what he said to you. You can’t listen. You have to block him out. You’re not him. You are you. Harry Potter, the savior. You’re also one that I love. Why did you think you had no way out?”
“I thought,” he struggled against his tears. “I didn’t think that you wanted to be bothered with my burdens. I didn’t think you wanted to have relations to a murderer.”
Ginny smiled softly. “Talking to us about what happened to you is not loading your burdens onto us. We want to help you. Us helping you through this time proves the love we have for you. Love is how you beat Voldemort, and it how you’ll overcome the pain he left behind.”
Harry’s eyes shone with unshed tears as Ginny squeezed his hand.
“You’re never alone.” She said softly.
Ginny stood up. “I have to go tell Professor McGonagall that you’re awake. I’ll be right back.” She turned to the door.
“Yes?” Ginny asked, her hand on the doorknob.
“I love you.” Harry said, his eyelids drooping with exhaustion.
Ginny smiled. “I love you, too.” She turned and left the hospital wing.
‘Everything is going to be all right now’ was Harry’s last conscious thought before he was claimed by sleep.