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Chapter 9 : Dad
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Hi Readers! Gosh, I'm so sorry for the wait. I've had absoulutely NO motivation to write this. But I'm going to plan this story out when I get the chance, so then the updates will be much quicker. To all of you who read Starcrossed too, I am SO sorry. I've got lots and lots to do!
While I've got you paying attention, I hope, Tally made me a new banner for this fic. I like them both. You guys vote! The original, or this one?
Leave a review!
"Lily, what's wrong?" Emma asked from the floor in Lily's room, staring at her sister who was sitting quietly on her bed.
"I told you, nothing." Lily said, her voice quivering.
"You look sad. Are you sad?" she asked again.
"I'm fine!" Lily snapped and flopped backwards onto her pillow. "Why do you have to sleep on the floor? This bed is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on." Lily said, trying desperately to change the subject.
"The bed's weird. Too soft. I've always slept on the floor. But why are you so sad? I can tell when your sad, your my sister."
Lily sighed and sat up. "I'm sad because I was mean to our grandmum. She doesn't deserve anyone to be mean to her, she's very nice."
"What did you say that was so bad?" Emma asked curiously, crawling onto the feather bed.
"I-I" Lily's voice caught in her throat and the words had difficulty coming out again. "What she said, about Ginny, was kind of right. Okay? It was kind of right. And I said it wasn't." she turned her back to her sister and played with the beading on her pillow.
Emma's eyes went a bit wider then usual. "You mean Ginny loves us? And Harry? You said they didn't."
"Don't get to excited. I was kind of wrong, that's it. I guess they do love us, maybe a little bit. But that doesn't change anything."
"But doesn't it? If they love us, that means their really our parents. Like you said." she said with enthusiasm.
"Just stop! Their never going to be our parents. No matter what they say. We don't need parents, or their so called love." Lily said defiantly, fighting her inner emotions.
"B-but why? Why is it so wrong, Lily? Your the only person who's ever loved me, why is it bad to have someone else who does?" she asked with hope.
"Em, you don't understand the meaning of love. And I have enough of it for you so that you don't need anyone else. Alright?"
Emma reluctantly nodded and sunk back to her spot on the floor.
"I'm going to take a shower, and your next. Just wait here." Lily rose from the bed and grabbed a robe out of her closet.
"What? Your leaving me?" Emma scrambled up from the floor and looked at Lily with disbelief.
"We can't do EVERYTHING together." Lily rolled her eyes.
"What if someone comes in here?" she panicked.
"Don't worry, they won't. I'll be quick, then you can go." Lily said.
"That's scary, the water pours on you and it won't stop. You'll drown!" Emma pleaded.
"Relax! Give me ten minutes and I promise I'll be back. You can even time me. Your good at counting, theres the clock." Lily said exasperatedly.
Emma looked for something to persuade her sister but found nothing. "Fine." she said reluctantly and sat back on the floor with the book she had been looking at.
"Thank you. Ten minutes." Lily smiled and left her room.
Emma exhaled shakily and turned the page, looking for more pictures.
"Harry?" Ginny asked quietly, entering Harry's "study" which couldn't even be called a study. It was more like a secluded place in the house that one had to go under a staircase for, to find a door, which lead to a large storage area that Harry had converted. In there was quidditch posters, a leather recliner, a small television, one window, and even a couple books so it could be deemed a study.
"Yeah?" Harry sighed from his chair and stopped bouncing a ball of rubber bands agaisnt the wall.
"I didn't mean to bother you, I just...wanted to talk.
He smiled wearily. "Your not bothering me. Come here."
Ginny grinned and sat in Harry's lap. "I miss this. I've barely had a full conversation with you these days."
"I know. It's funny, really."
"What?" Ginny asked, smiling and brushing the hair out of Harry's face.
"It's what I've always wanted, a normal life. A normal family. And now we finally have it, and well, it's been anything but normal."
"I suppose your right." Ginny giggled. "But that's why I wanted to talk to you."
"About the girls? I thought they did enough talking earlier." Harry squinted and rubbed his temple.
"Oh, they deffinitely did." Ginny laughed sadly. "But, I think you should be the one talking to them."
"Me? Ginny, you would know the most that they don't want to talk to anyone." Harry shook his head.
"That's what I mean. I've tried and tried but Lily hates my guts and Emma's unresponsive. Maybe they'll listen to you. You didn't have your parents either, you know how they've felt! Atleast you'll last longer then me. I can't be with them to long without breaking down."
"I-I...I don't think so. They don't even consider me their father, why would they listen to me?" Harry said.
"Harry...you don't have to be afraid of your own kids." Ginny gave him a concerning look.
"I'm not afraid of two young girls, Gin." Harry said defensively.
"That was always like you, to hide your fears or avoid them completely, and pretend everything is fine...well that might have worked when you were a teenager but now you've got two daughters who need you. Can you honestly say the whole situation doesn't scare you one bit?"
Harry gave up his dispositon. He could fool anyone but his wife, and mainly because she felt the same way.
"No." he sighed deeply. "I can't say that I'm not afraid of them. I can't say that every move they make doesn't scare me, because I'm afraid they'll break. I'm afraid neither of them will ever like me at all, and that we'll never be a normal family. I'm afraid their going to leave us again." he said, his eyes swimming in bottled up grief.
"I'm scared too." Ginny whispered and leaned on her husband's shoulder. "God, they can't just leave, can they? What kind of law is that? It's bloody insane."
"Really, how many cases can they base this off of. I don't know many kidnapped kids, do you?" Harry snorted. "But we've got to try, and fight it if it comes to that."
"We will, but right now, you have to try with your daughters. You don't yourself enough credit, you single-handledly took down the darkest wizard of all time. And you've got two little girls upstairs and your trembling." Ginny said.
"Oh trust me, Lily's scarier." Harry muttered.
"Will you promise to talk to them?" Ginny bit her lower lip.
"I'll muster up all my courage." Harry grinned.
"Thank you." Ginny kissed Harry's cheek and got off his lap.
Harry picked his rubber ball back up and flung it at the panneled wall again.
"Uh, Harry?" Ginny asked from the doorway.
"Yeah?" he answered, not taking his eyes off the ball.
"Now?" Harry responded reluctantly.
"Now." Ginny playfully demanded.
"Fineeee." Harry rolled his eyes and forced himself out of his recliner.
"Good boy." Ginny smirked and patted Harry on the head.
"Mmmhm." Harry grinned and lead Ginny out of his study.
"Lilyyyyy." Emma whined to the pages of a book. "Hurry up."
A light knock sounded from the door. "Lily?"
Emma jumped a foot at the deep sound.
"S-She's not here." she quivered and ran to Lily's bookshelf, using it for shelter.
"Hello?" Harry knocked again.
"Go away!" Emma said from behind the shelf, her small voice not making it very far.
The door creaked open slightly. "Lily?"
"Please." Emma shivered, tears of fear threatening to spill from her already heavy eyelids.
"Oh, Emma, it's you. I-I thought Lily was in here." Harry breathed and saw half his daughter's head.
"P-Please l-leave." she whispered.
Harry was eager to exit the room quickly, but he could just see Ginny standing with her hands on her hips and lipping the words "Now". Inhaling, he slowly inched himself into the room.
"You don't have to be scared, Emma. I'm not going to hurt you."
Emma was still silent and wouldn't move a muscle.
"I was, uh, hoping we could, you know, talk." Harry shrugged and leaned agaisnt the door frame awkwardly, waiting for a response. "I know you don't like to talk much, but maybe you could listen to me?"
Emma didn't object, so he continued.
"You know, I'm kind of shy too. Especially with people I don't know. It's hard meeting new people." he said.
Emma nodded ever so slightly and tightened her grasp on the book shelf.
"But you don't have to be shy with me, or Ginny. We've met you before. We met you the day you were born. T-That's why I'm your dad." Harry smiled slightly. "But I know you don't think that, and you don't have too." he added.
Emma took her observant eyes off of Harry for a moment and took in a shaky breath. "I-I do."
Harry looked astounded. "What?"
She controlled her trembling body and stepped an inch away from her barrier. "I do think your my, d-d-dad. Lily doesn't, but I do."
The familar punch in the stomach Harry usually felt when talking to his daughters was non-exsistant. He felt an amazing feeling he had barely remembered experiencing. It felt like hearing your baby's first words, and the word being daddy.
"Really?" he beamed.
"The way she explained it, a dad is like a mom. Someone who loves you. And if Ginny say's she loves us, then you must love us. So I think your my dad."
He sucked in a breath of pure joy, desperately wanting to dance around the room. The daughter he left years ago may actually be coming back, and he could not be more thrilled.
"I-I I do love you, Emma. Both of you. And so does Ginny." Harry said with a soft smile, swallowing hard to keep tears back.
"Oh." Emma looked downward and smiled. "That's nice. Lily's the only one who's ever said that to me."
"Lily doesn't like me to much, does she." A shadow slid over Harry's face.
"She says she doesn't, but Lily doesn't always say things the right way."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Emma lowered herself to the floor where she sat with her legs crossed. "when she doesn't want to see something, she lies about it."
"I guess she got that from me." Harry laughed softly. "I was a lot like that when I was a kid. It's hard to say how you really feel. But I do understand how you two feel. I know you won't believe me, but I do."
"You were taken from your parent's when you were little?" Emma asked curiously, not fully understanding.
"No, no, thankfully I wasn't." he shook his head. "But I lost my parent's when I was just a baby. They were killed."
"Really?" Emma whispered. "Who killed them?"
Harry paused. Even to the present day, memories haunted him. Flashes of blinding green light, his mother's ear piercing scream, his burning scar. "Voldemort." he said grimly.
Emma looked up with a face of astonishment that overcame any one of her previous confused expressions. "H-He killed your parents?"
Harry nodded solemnly.
"I didn't know that." she said in a demure tone.
"I know it doesn't compare, but I know what it's like to not have a mum and a dad. That's the only reason me and Ginny are doing this. We want you to have what I didn't."
"I don't know much about parents or being a daughter," Emma shrugged, tracing pictures on the floor with her finger, "but I'd sure like to try."
Harry laughed. "Well, good. All you have to do is try."
"Maybe Lily will too." Emma nodded.
"I don't know." Harry sighed. "She doesn't even realize how much we love her. And we love her a lot."
"No, she does." she said without looking up.
"What?" Harry asked.
"She know's you love her. She told me so before she went to take a, a, one of those things where the warm water rains on you."
Harry felt a weight of tension fly of his chest. They had gotten through to their eldest daughter, if only a little. "Really?"
"Mmhm. But I don't understand it. I don't really know what love is. How can you tell when you love somebody?"
"Your very talkative when you want to be." Harry smiled. "Love is confusing...I can't explain it. But you'll know what it is someday. I promise. It took me a while to figure it out as well."
"If you say so." she shrugged. "I have another question."
"Ask away." Harry grinned.
"I-If I think your my dad, and you think I'm your daughter, does that mean I'm supposed to call you dad?" she stopped fiddling and looked up.
"I-I well, I don't know." Harry choked on his words. He never thought the simple title of father would be so difficult. "It's your choice."
"Oh." she shrugged. "Well...dad is shorter then Harry." she looked at Harry hopefully.
"If you do decide to call me dad, I'd like it a lot." he smiled.
Emma smiled brightly. The action seemed so foriegn on her usual face of terror. "Okay. Dad."
Interupting the two, Lily pushed the door open. "What?"
"H-Hi, Lily." Harry said nervously and straightened up immediately.
"What are you doing in here? Emma, are you alright?" Lily ran next to her sister.
"I'm fine." Emma smiled.
"Yeah, we were just talking. I was hoping I could talk to you too-"
"No, you can't. So can you please leave?" Lily demanded and placed her hands on her hips.
Harry looked at Emma and smiled sadly. "Yes, sorry." Harry exited the room without haste and shut the door behind him.
"Anything?" Ginny asked hopefully from across the hallway.
Harry exhaled and leaned against the wall. "I'm dad."
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