Chapter 1 : The Words She Never Heard
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The Words She Never Heard
At twenty three years old the newly appointed Transfiguration professor Hermione Granger, walked slowly around the black lake, preparations for a remembrance day were in full swing up at the castle, in just two hours time the service would begin, there would be politicians giving speeches about the heroism of those who had fallen in the last battle every thought would be on lost loved ones, brave deeds and sacrifices.
‘Was it only two years ago’ she thought as she looked back toward the main entrance where she could see the headmistress giving out directions and orders.
She knew that her heart would break again at the service as memories of Ron would fill her head yet again. She knew she would wonder again where he was, who he was with and why had he left her. Even now tears made their way to her eyes, trying to blind her once again as they had so many times before.
A small splash in the water to her left caught her attention making her turn to face the lake yet again, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall she saw the ripple caused by someone throwing small stones into the dark water, taking a deep breath she began walking casually around the trees toward where she thought the thrower was, some part of her mind working out what she would say to the student about throwing stones.
The red hair was the first she saw of the person throwing stones, she new instantly who it was, Ron Weasley her one time best friend and her first last and only love.
Her heart fluttered on recognising him, she had not seen him since the day after Voldemort’s death, her mind rushed back to that day still wondering how he could have been so cruel and callous as to just walk away without a word.
When she reached the spot where she had seen him he had gone, she could see by the flattened grass where he had sat down, he had walked away sometime while she had been so deep in thought, she had not noticed him leave but sad as she was that he had gone, she was pleased in a way, she would not have to be in his presence or hear his wonderful voice or look into those wonderful blue eyes, she did not know if she could take it, her heart was already shattered, she did not need to have him break it more.
Turning to continue her walk something lying half hidden in the grass caught her eye, ‘had he dropped something’ she wondered. Reaching down her hands folded around a small journal, having lifted it she looked at the minute writing on the cover.
Ron Weasley… Hogwarts. Was all it said.
She knew instantly it had been shrunk to fit in his pocket, staring at it she wondered when he had kept a journal; through out their eight year friendship she had never seen him with one.
Intrigued she sat down in the same place her had and took out her wand, a quick wave and the tiny book returned to its original size.
‘He must have had this for years’ she thought as she held the now large volume in her hands. Unable to resist the temptation she opened it slowly beginning at the first entry.
Day One of my new life by ‘Ronald Weasley, Hogwarts (at last).
Met Harry Potter today, THE Harry Potter, the boy who lived, also met a very pretty girl named Hermynee or something, she has lovely bushy brown hair, I think I could like her but she seems a bit bossy and I don’t think she liked me at all.
Been here a week now and my new best friend is Harry, he’s not like I imagined him. He’s a really nice person, doesn’t know anything about the magical world though.
That girl Herm whatever has a lovely smile but she looks at me like I’m stupid and every time I say something she rolls her eyes and pulls a face, she definitely doesn’t like me, I think they might have put her in the wrong house because she’s not friendly like the rest of the new Gryffindor’s.
I am well settled here at school now and me and Harry have been having a really good time together.
I think I made that Herminee cry today, I didn’t mean to, it’s just every time I try to be nice she seems to go out of her way to make me look like a fool, just because I said a spell wrong.
BLOOD and Thunder! We fought a ruddy huge Troll in the girl’s toilet today; things are looking good now she actually spoke nicely to me today as well…
Hermione read on through the book, it did not take her long to notice that almost all the entries were about things she had done or said. Coming to the part about their battle in the ministry when they had tried to rescue Sirius she stopped. She had to read the paragraph again …I love her so much I don’t know what I’ll do if she dies…
She was unable to make out the next few words; the ink had run and was blotchy as though tears had been shed on them. Then she found the entry for the Yule ball
…It took me ages to ask Hermione to the ball, I must have said something wrong she was mad at me for something, I thought she liked me but she couldn’t even wait for me to ask her, she should know I’m hopeless at that sort of thing…
…I ruddy hate that Krum putting his filthy hands on the girl I love; I should kill the ba-…
Hermione realised then that this journal was all about how Ron had felt for her all those years, kissing Lavender because she had kissed Krum, dreaming about her when he had been close to dieing from poison, feeling strangely happy and sad at Dumbledore’s funeral because he had been able to put his arm around her.
She read on seeing how his feelings had grown deep and strong during the hunt to destroy Voldemort.
Turning the page she found her self reading the entry for the last time they spent in each others company.
Tears ran freely down her face as she read the words that had been written in a shaky hand.
…I knew it wasn’t the perfect time but we were all alive and I felt so happy about that, I could not wait any longer.
She turned me down. Told me to go away and stop being stupid. Since when is asking the girl you love to marry you stupid. I made a vow today; I will never ever fall in love again.
I went to the Hospital early today hoping to miss her. I said goodbye to Harry, maybe when he wakes up he’ll figure out why I left. The healer says Harry is going to make it, I hope he and Ginny are Happy. I won’t be back there any more. I couldn’t stand to see Hermione knowing she still thinks I am a stupid fool, though I should have known that’s what she thought of me, after all she told me nearly every day for eight years, I doubt she ever loved me at all, why would she if she thinks I’m stupid…
Hermione felt sick as the flood of tears ripped free from her, the memory of that day had run through her mind every day since he had disappeared, trying to workout why they had not seen him since, why he never wrote to anyone, why he had left her. She closed her teary eyes as she remembered it once again, did she really tell him to go away, and did she say that as he proposed to her.
…She was standing with Ron he was slightly behind her, they were next to Harry’s hospital bed, she was trying to hear what the healer was saying to Ginny, she had felt Ron take hold of her hand she knew he was talking to her but she had not heard a word of what he had said, she was busy listening to the healer, she had snatched her hand away with out looking at him.
Then she remembered the words, words she had not remembered saying, words that must have broke his heart, snatching her hand away from him she had said angrily “Ron go away and stop being so stupid”.
She had no idea how long she had been sat there crying before she looked at the rest of the pages, there was just one more entry and the ink was still fresh.
…Well I did it, I came back, I had hoped to get a glimpse of her but I just don’t think I can bear it.
She is a beautiful and clever woman with wonderful deep fiery eyes, brown bushy hair that is so silky and soft. No how could I have been so stupid, I am just like she said STUPID.
Goodbye Hermione Jane Granger, the only one I will ever love…
Her heart wracked with pain and guilt and tears flowing down her face she stared at the last entry. The thought hit her like a bomb shell this is his final goodbye, he would never try to see her again. She had to find him, she had to try to put things right.
Trotting briskly towards the crowd that had gathered she scanned them with eager eyes looking for that red head that would stand above most others.
She could see the group of Weasley’s but he was not with them, beginning to panic and praying he had not yet left she scanned her eyes over the entire castle wondering where he had gone, there at last she saw his flaming red hair, he was atop the astronomy tower.
A quick flash of fear, seeing him falling ran through her mind but she quickly pushed it away her Ron was not stupid.
It did not take her long to reach the top of the tower, he was still there sat at one of the small tables used for the telescopes, a small pot of tea sat at his elbow.
She watched as he sat hunched over with his back to her, she realised he was crying, his broad shoulders seemed to shake even as she watched.
Taking a deep breath she slowly walked up to him, then gently she leant over his wide strong back and gently placed her arms around his neck then whispered in his ear “hello my love, my answer to the last question you asked me is yes, if you still want me”
She then lay her head on his shoulder with her face resting against his neck and cried until he turned and kissed her very gently but with all the love he had.
“I missed you” he whispered.