Chapter 10 : Bitter Memories
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Then they both started leaning in and then Shay stopped.
"Sirius, I'm not feeling so good. I think I'm going to go back to the common room." Shay said softly.
"Ok, I'll come with you," he said.
"No, you stay here. I don't want to make you leave."
"There is no point in being here if your not going to be." Sirius said.
Shay and Sirius got up and said their good-byes to everyone.
"Come on let's try not to get caught out here," Sirius said and grabbed Shay's hand and went forward.
Shay wobbled and fell against the wall.
"Sirius I'm too drunk to walk."
"It's ok. Hold on"
Sirius walked over and picked Shay up bridal style.
"Sirius put me down, I'm too heavy. You're going to break your back."
"Shay quit it. You're not heavy and as a matter of fact, I'm going to run with you, so hold on tight."
Sirius started speeding up and in a matter of no time; they were in the common room. Sirius then set Shay on the couch.
"Are you ok?" Sirius asked concerned.
"Yea, I'm fine. I'm sorry about ruining your night."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was a bitch to you all night, then when we were about to kiss I chickened out, and then I made you leave the party early."
"Shay stop it, you didn't ruin anything. I'm actually glad we didn't kiss, because I want it to be when we're both sober. I want it to be perfect."
"Sirius you don't even know how happy you make me," Shay said and reached up and gave him a hug.
"Ok, well I'm off to bed" Sirius said.
Shay watched Sirius walk up the stairs. Then sat and watched the fire for a little bit before going off to bed.
She laid in bed for a while not being able to fall asleep but was very tired. She was finally fed up of laying there and went out of her dorm, and up to the boys' dormitory. She knocked on the door and waited for an answer.
"Come in," she heard Sirius say from the other side of the door.
Sirius watched Shay walk in and was surprised. She was only wearing a tiny tank top that went half way down her stomach and very short shorts.
"Sirius, I was wondering if you needed company, because I can't sleep."
"Yea sure," he said and moved over in his bed.
"Thanks and sorry if I woke you up."
"No, its ok I wasn't sleeping."
Shay covered herself with the blankets and was facing away from Sirius. Sirius was on his back looking up at the ceiling.
"Shay do you remember when we were little and you would sneak into my bed whenever our families visited each other?"
"Yea, I felt safe with you there. I knew that you would protect me."
"Well I wasn't very good at it."
"Sirius, what are you talking about?" Shay asked and rolled over so she could look at him.
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Sirius there was nothing you could do about that."
"Psst, Sirius," Shay said while she was knocking on his window.
She saw him in there but he wouldn't come to the window. Because he knew that she was drunk out of her mind. Sirius had just run away from home a month before and was living in his new home with the Potters. Shay was extremely jealous.
"Sirius, come to the window."
Shay was yelling by now and Sirius couldn't ignore her anymore. She was going to wake the rest of the household up. He lazily walked over to the window and opened it.
"It is 2:00 in the morning, what in bloody hell do you want?"
"Let me in," Shay said with a smile.
"Why not? I would let you into my room."
"You're drunk, aren't you?" Sirius asked while trying not to laugh at his best friend.
"You silly man, I am not drunk, only mildly intoxicated. Now let me in. Please?"
Sirius really didn't want to let her in, but he also didn't want her to make a scene.
"Fine, but I have company so make it quick," he said and then took the screen off the window so she could climb in.
"Hey, nice room. How come you haven't invited me over yet?" Shay asked while dusting herself off.
"Sirius, what's going on?" a female voice said from the bathroom connected to his bedroom.
"Who is that?" Shay asked and went to go find the owner of the voice.
"Shay, it's no one. You really need to leave though. You're going to get me into trouble."
"Why? Because I'm a girl? Cause you already have one in here."
"No, because you're loud and drunk."
"Mildly intoxicated," Shay corrected.
"Sirius, are you going to answer me?" the female voice said and then finally showed itself.
"Hello there, Joanna. Jeez Sirius, the last I heard, you were fucking Noreen Bates. Damn, you move on fast,” Shay said with a drunken slur.
"Shay, you're leaving now," Sirius said and grabbed her arm.
"Sirius, you're friend is a bitch" Joanna said.
"Hey, I might be a bitch, but that’s way better than being a slut. Now Sirius, listen to me. I can't leave because I have no place to go."
"I definitely can't go there."
"Why don't you go to your boyfriend's house, I'm sure you have a couple to choose from," Joanna said from Sirius's bed.
"You must lay on your back a lot Joanna, because it seems that your legs just spread open when any guy is in a 5 foot radius of you."
"Sirius, are you going to let her talk to me like that?" Joanna asked and gave him a fierce look.
"Shay, you leave, now."
"Sirius, we talk, now," Shay said, mimicking his tone.
"Fine. Joanna, I'll be right back," Sirius said and Joanna gave him a disapproving look that he ignored.
"Shay, what are you doing here, besides pissing my girlfriend off?"
"I told you, I need a place to stay," Shay said, trying to be as sober as she could.
"Why can't you go home?"
"Earlier I really pissed my parents off, and I'm honestly a little afraid to go home. So can I please stay here? I'll be really quiet, and I'll just go sleep on the couch, and I won't bother you or Joanna."
"Shay, I can't just let people sleep here, this isn't my house."
"So, you can have your slut girlfriend sleep here, but not one of your best friends."
"Stop it and go home."
"A year ago you would have sympathized with me, you would have protected me. I know your life has changed Sirius, but mine sure as hell hasn't. I don't have a house I can run to and a family that will welcome me as one of their own."
"You want to know what you do Shay?" Sirius asked.
"You push their buttons. I think that you like the attention you get from your parents. You're a rotten brat and you do shit just to get your parents riled up. I'm sure you did some thing stupid, and now you're afraid to face the consequences," Sirius said with anger in his eyes, but he still had regret on what he just said.
"I'm glad you finally said what you really think. I guess I'll leave now," Shay said, her eyes tearing up.
"Shay, I'm sor…"
"Sirius, don't. I'm really tired of people treating me like shit. Do you want to know what pissed my parents off this time? I finally stood up to them. I packed my stuff up and I left. You running away from home gave me the courage to do what I did to today. But I'm not as lucky as you. Your best friend took you in and mine told me to go face the consequences. I'm sorry that I interrupted your night. I'll see you back at school," Shay started to walk away, wiping her tears off her face as she went.
"Shay, school is two months away."
"Yea, I know. Maybe by then I'll be able to look at you without wanting to scratch your eyes out," she said and climbed out the window.
Shay had signaled the Knight Bus and had finally reached her house. She was hoping that her father would be too drunk and her mother would be too medicated to recognize her. Fat chance. She slowly pushed the front door open and stepped inside a pitch black house.
"Maybe I don't have to deal with this until morning," Shay thought as she climbed the stairs.
With her trunk behind her, she reached the second floor and set her trunk at the top of the stairs. She let her eyes adjust to the dark and took a couple steps forward when she hit a solid mass in the middle of the hallway.
"So nice to have you back, love" she heard her father say in his low, husky voice.
A wand produced light from the end of it and Shay saw there were more than just her parents.
There were three other masked Death Eaters.
"I didn't know that I was going to get a welcome back party," Shay said but immediately wish that she could have kept her big mouth shut as her father slammed her up against the wall, his hand clamped around her throat.
"For once in your live, shut up. It will be for your own good," her mother said.
Shay nodded her head and her father loosened his grip a little.
"Listen, we're going to do this quick. Your father and I are sick of your rebellion and insubordination. You are a defiant little brat and we're going to fix whatever problem you have with following the rules of this house. You are going to quit defying the ways of the Dark Lord and you will step up and face your destiny. You will start to appreciate what the Dark Lord has done for our world."
Shay shook her head violently.
"He kills innocent people," she said in a low whisper.
"Innocent? Mud bloods who invade our world, make our blood impure," one the Death Eaters said.
"No, I won't do it. I can't. I can't betray my friends."
"Your filthy mud blood and blood traitor friends will all be dead soon, but your life can be spared."
"I said no," Shay said with a little more courage.
"No is not an option," her father said and started to slowly advance at her.
"I am not going to become a murderer," Shay said while backing away.
"You are our child and will do what you’re told," her mom said and pointed a finger in her face.
Shay kept shaking her head, denying what was going on as the five people advanced on her. She took a few fast steps backward then suddenly felt her forgotten trunk hit the back of her legs. She went head first over the trunk, and fell down the staircase, hitting her head repeatedly. She finally reached the bottom of the stairs with a sickening thud. The last thing she remembered was seeing Severus Snape take off his mask. Then it was totally darkness.
End of Flashback
"I've never felt so horrible in my life after I found out what happened to you that night," Sirius said quietly.
"Like I said Sirius, it's not your fault. I know that you were by my side everyday I was out," Shay said with a smile.
After her fall, Shay was in a coma for two weeks. She never found out how she got to the hospital. But she was positive that it was Severus. But after Shay woke from her coma, the first person she saw was Sirius. She had all her hurt feelings from the night two weeks prior rush back and demanded for him to get out of her sight. Her friends came later and James told her that Sirius hadn't been home since she was in the hospital and that he still hadn't left after she kicked him out of the room. Shay quickly remembered why she was friends with Sirius and their relationship got back to normal. Sirius tried to talk her into turning in her parents, but Shay refused. She made a deal with her parents that if she didn't turn them in, that she would have a place to stay until she was 17 and they wouldn't bother her anymore about becoming a Death Eater.
"I don't deserve to go to Hogsmeade with you," Sirius said.
"Why are you beating yourself up about this?" Shay asked.
"I should have let you stay with me that night, but I was being a selfish bastard, as usual. Joanna broke up with me two days after your accident. She said I wasn't spending enough time with her, I told her to sod off."
Shay laughed at this.
"Well, even though you were being a selfish bastard, I was being a drunken bitch and we just don't get along when we're like that."
Shay and Sirius had a moment of silence and Sirius wrapped his arms around Shay from behind. He placed a kiss on the crook of her neck and his stomach did a flip at the scent of her skin.
"Yes?" he asked into her neck.
"Did you ever cry?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean while you were living with your parents and they would lock you in with that damn ghoul."
"When I was younger I did, but after a while I guess I just got immune to it."
There was silence again and then Sirius felt Shay shudder in his arms.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
"No" she said and then sniveled.
Sirius turned her head so she was facing him. He was taken aback by the free flowing tears coming from her eyes.
"Shay, what's wrong?"
"I never cried either. Never. And now look. I'm out of that mess and now I cry. It's so damn frustrating. What did we do to deserve what we got? I promised myself that I would never cry about what happened when I was younger. And now look at me; I'm bawling my eyes out."
Sirius sat up and gave her a kiss on her forehead then looked straight into her eyes.
"Shay you need to listen to me, you deserve to cry. I'd much rather see you cry then see those cuts on your arms and legs."
"Yea but look at me I look like a wreck and if anyone saw me like this, I don't know what they'd think."
Sirius put his hand under her chin and lifted her head up.
"Shay crying only makes you human. Crying doesn't make you weak. It only proves that you are strong enough to show your true feelings."
Shay couldn't say anything and embraced him again. She cried herself to sleep. She cried for everything that happened to her in the past 17 years. Sirius held Shay all night only thinking about how much he cared for and loved her.
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