Teddy Bear & Angel Wings
by Yndas Odell AKA DA Jones
Chapter 5: Luna Lovegood
Ron sat in a hard chair outside the critical care ward holding a rocking and sobbing Hermione, while healers shouted orders and screeches of grief, pain and general chaos swirled about him.
The only thing that had registered was that he now had to add Lavender to his list of the dead. That had hit him hard. He didn’t understand why. He was pretty sure he had never loved Lavender, but only the girl in his arms, but still Lavender's death left a lead weight in his stomach and now Luna.
He swallowed. Poor, sweet Luna. He wanted to cry, but he knew that Hermione was leaning on his strength now. It was all over, but the crying, and that was going to be titanic and sure in some ways to drain more of his courage than the fighting.
Using his thumbs, he calmly wiped tears away from his bushy-haired girl friend’s dusty and scared cheeks. Funny how, now that all this was over that Harry was the least scared of the three.
"Hermione. It’s all right," he whispered. "It’s over. It's done.”
“No it’s not. It never will be, Ron. So many gone. Lavender now too. And what Ginny and I did.”
“You did what you had to do, Hermione.”
“We hurt her on purpose Ron. If she dies, we’re murderers!”
"You said, she told you to do it!"
"There had to be another way...if she dies!"
“She won’t. She’s too strong.”
“But the Medi-wizards said…”
“I DON’T CARE what the Medi-wizards said. She’ll fight. She’ll never give-up. She’s Luna.”
“She was always my friend you know…ever since the Department of Mysteries…even if….I was jealous of her, I thought…you!”
“She knows…and you can tell her when she wakes up, Hermione.”
“If she wake’s up. It's been more than fourty minutes Ron.”
Ginny watched Katie Bell pound away at Luna’s chest taking her turn at that odd thing called CPR. Hermione who had started this long heroic effort to save Luna nearly an hour ago had been so hysterical, begging Luna to breathe that Neville had to ask Ron to take her out of the room. Ron had looked absolutely shaken.
As Neville ordered more potassium, Ginny closed her eyes. The war was over. But the final battle had been grim and costly and too damn bloody.
Less than four hours ago Seamus and Lavender had been flirting in the common room. Less then three hours ago she had smiled in Harry’s arms for a picture. An hour and a half ago Colin had pressed that same blood smeared picture into her palm as he breathed his last. Something was wrong with her. Why couldn’t she cry? Why wasn’t she paralyzed to the floor with grief?
Voldemort was gone and she knew the world considered her a hero and yet she felt hollow inside. Harry had lived, but so many of the others hadn’t. A dozen of the DA had fallen and twice as many Order members. Innocent students had been caught in the crossfire, and despite Lavender and Parvati's last heroics six first years had stil died.
There would simply be more funerals than she could attend. Tonks and Hagrid and McGonagall and Dean and Colin and Lavender and Parvati. And Romilda.
Romilda's casket would have to be closed. She would go to the funeral. She couldn't let Violet go alone.
Hufflepuff had lost Hannah and Justin.
And Slytherin....well not long ago, she would have found it hard to believe that she would mourn Draco ...and poor Pansy.
The Ravenclaws. The Ravenclaws had lost Terry and Anthony and ....and... her thoughts dragged off. She wouldn't think it.
Instead she watched Katie pound and pound away at Luna, the thin girl’s tiny pale breasts jiggling as Katie fought a losing battle to revive her. It was hopeless. Ginny could see Katie's lips forming a silent plea, could see the soft tears in her fellow chasers eyes as Katie pushed and prayed.
They mouthed it together: Please, Luna.
Now Neville pressed strange circular devices to Luna’s chest. Katie stopped the CPR.
“Get Back," shouted Neville.
They stepped away.
Luna’s body jerked. Her back arched and her arms, even her splinted arm, and legs flailed off the table.
Harry screamed and clutched at Ginny’s hand.
Harry. Harry was why she was still standing. Harry was why she could kill a friend (for she had killed Luna) and still function.
Had the world no Harry, she still would've fought but there would've been no joy in the victory.
As she stood there holding Harry as he absently ran his hand through her hair for comfort and 'mind talked' to Luna, she realized the mad truth that her heart was half-filled with solemn joy.
Harry had lived and they could have a life and family together. She could give him the love and normalcy he so craved. She wouldn’t have traded his life for any ten of the others, save her family (and Harry was family). But Luna, please Luna live!
“Still V-fib,” said Katie, the bulky squib nurse switching off with her on the CPR.
“Its torture Ginny," said Harry quietly. "What Neville is doing to her. But Luna forgives him and she forgives you and Hermione because she knows you love her and only did what you thought was best. And besides she told you to do it."
The dam broke. Tears poured and poured down Ginny’s cheeks, every grief coming to the surface now that she knew for sure that she was going to lose Luna.
“Tell her I love her, Harry. Tell her she’s my sister who I’ll miss terribly. Tell her to kick Voldemort for me.”
Harry actually laughed.Such a strange sound, now. “She knows Ginny, she knows," he said and then: "stop Neville.”
“Please, stop, Neville.”
“Stop, it’s what Luna wants.”
“She wants to die?”
“She wants to go to peace. She’s not afraid of death. She said good bye to me and Ginny.”
“That doesn’t mean she should go.”
“She thinks it’s time. And she can bring Voldemort with her.”
“But you can drive him out with love. Destroy the horcrux, like Ginny did with you.”
“I wish I could Neville, but I can’t. I could try, but she's fading, and I couldn’t ever be sure that I got him all. Voldemort might be able to hide in a recess of her mind that even I couldn’t reach; ready to jump out.
"She doesn’t want to risk that Neville, she loves us to much. She has a complicated mind and to destroy a horcrux takes true love, like the kind Ginny and I have. I don’t love Luna enough, Neville. Sad to say no one ever has. Not even you Neville. No one has every truly loved her that wasn’t family and her family is all gone.”
“I could have if Susan hadn’t come along.”
“Maybe, but you don’t.”
“I do love her Harry, that’s why…”
“If you love her, stop Neville. Forget the horcrux; you’ve been trying to revive her for an hour. It’s not working.”
LUNA, I’M SORRY!
DON’T BE…I WENT OUT THE WAY I WANTED. VOLDEMORT WILL NEVER BE BACK.
YOU’RE TOO YOUNG. SO WAS LAVENDER. I’M A TERRIBLE HEALER.
NO, YOU’RE A GREAT HEALER, WHO JUST HAD A BAD DAY, NEVIILE.... I MAY HAVE HAD A SHORT LIFE, BUT IT WASN’T UNEVENTFUL AND...NEV..I..I HAD PLENTY OF GOOD FRIENDS IN THE END, AND I GET TO SEE MY MUM AND DA. I THINK I ONLY HAVE TWO REGRETS. ONE IS THAT I NEVER FOUND A SNORKACK AND THE OTHER IS THAT I DIDN’T MAKE LOVE TO YOU THAT SECOND TIME.
HAVE LOTS OF BABIES WITH SUSIE, NEVILLE AND NAME ONE LUNA…OH, I’VE GOT TO GO, THE VEIL IS CALLING ME AND I HAVE TO DRAG RIDDLE WITH ME. THE BIG SISSY DOESN’T WANT TO GO, KICKING AND SCREAMING AND TRYING ALL SORTS OF EVILLY THINGS….I LOVE YOU NEVILLE….DON’T FORGET ME!
LUNA I CAN'T! YOU’RE UNFORGETABLE. AND....I LOVE YOU, TOO! I’M SORRY I NEVER LOVED YOU TRULY!
NEVILLE, DON’T BE SILLY! YOU LOVED ME JUST THE WAY YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO.
NEVILLE! OH, THEIR SO BEAUTIFUL! NEVILLE, ANGELS REALLY DO HAVE WINGS!
The monitoring ward let out a wail and a flat line traced the air.
“Asystolic,” said a mournful Katie and dispelled it, then turned professionally away to compose herself as best as she could while Neville said with his voice shaking:
“T-Time of Death: 21:40, T-Thank you, all. N-Now, I think I’d like to be alone.”
But they wouldn’t let him.
They called in Ron and a hysterical Hermione who threw herself over Luna and just wailed until Ginny drew her to herself and hugged and hugged her and kissed her and cried into her friends unruly brown hair and murmured Luna's forgiveness over and over. It was two sisters mourning another.
It took a long time for them to leave. They were saying their goodbyes not only to Luna but to all the others. Neville and Ginny stayed the longest until the warm hand of Ginny slid into his and she hugged him and told him that there was a little girl she had to see and that he should go see Susan.
But before she left and while Neville was tending her leg, he asked her the question that was burning up his insides.
"Explain something to me Ginny. How was...Luna," he choked up at the name "ever a horcrux?"
"Voldemort made her a horcrux."
"Really, how surprising, I thought it was Cho who did it?"
Ginny smiled. Her first true smile since the beginning of this awful night.
"Harry made a mistake, Neville. He let Voldemort know that we had destroyed all his horcruxes, even the 'Harry one' he made by mistake. Riddle feared himself vulnerable then, so he simply made himself another. Merlin knows he already had enough murders stored up, Neville. But he had...he had killed...Terry...just before....so that murder might have been the one he used for the Horcrux. I think, he choose Luna, because he found her intriguing.
"He had tried to Imperius her earlier, but she had completely blocked it. No one, not even Harry had managed to do that. But in the course of attempting to invade her powerful mind he found out about her 'ESP'.
He wanted to use that against Harry. So he simply made her a horcrux, partially because he found out that Harry loved her, almost as much as me and would never harm her. What better way to guarantee his safety from Harry than that? He never even considered me. I guess he considered this 'pathetic Weasley' not much of a threat.
"But you are the strongest of all. Everyone knows that, Ginny. It's because you love Harry."
"Neville, no one ever gave Voldemort much credit for intelligence when it came to affairs of the heart. Anyway, I suppose he had planned to make another non-mortal horcrux later but he never got the chance.
"Once he made Luna a horcrux, you'd be surprised and appalled how simple the spell is Neville; he was able to Imperio her though it and was about to force her to kill Harry, when Hermione and I....well....we did what we had to do. One killing spell to destroy the container, one killing spell to kill the soul bit. That's one way to destroy a living Horcrux, Neville. Remember? It's how Harry killed Nagini."
"But it didn't work? The horcrux was still there, that's why Luna..."
"No, we didn't do a good job. We couldn't turn our love for Luna to hate. We couldn't power the killing curses Neville and neither had enough power on its own to destroy the soul bit and combined all they did was stop her heart. That's why Hermione thought, but if you had saved her Neville then that horcrux would've been inside her for her whole life."
Neville gave her a sideways smirk. "You know, she'd probably have named it Horace the Happy Horcrux."
"Yes, but it would have been terrible, Nevile. Harry was able to stand it only becase he didn't know for long, Luna never would have been able to live with Riddle forever, over time he would have stripped her of all her joy and driven her insane and the Ministry would have locked her up, or tied to suck out Riddles soul wih a Dementor or something just as horrid. And Luna would have agreed to it all it just to keep us safe."
"Maybe its good that you couldn't save her. We were hoping that one of our curses would destroy the horcrux and that you could revive her and then she would be free...but ...it didn't work."
"It didn't work only because you loved her, Ginny. She was more than just a friend, she was family to all of us and you can't be sad about that Ginny. Friendship and family are precious and marvelous things and Luna understood and proved that and I guess we all did, but what I don't understand is how did Harry kill Voldemort if he still had a soul piece hidden in Luna?"
"Harry didn't. He only returned Riddle to the mist form. That is until Luna died. Neville when you pronounced Luna you pronounced Voldemort too. Luna really did pull him through the veil with her."
"She saw angels."
"Luna saw Angels. Angels with wings. It's the last thing she said to me."
Tears flooded Ginny's eyes again. Neville hugged her. "You're all set Ginny, your leg I mean. Just try not to walk on it to much over the next few days."
"I saw a crumple-horned snorkack once," said Ginny sniffing, but smiling again..
"It was at Durmstrang. I was half delusional and shivering with fever after I helped Harry destroy Ravenclaw's necklace and Luna was sitting with me mopping my brow with cool water, when she suddenly got all excited and pointed out a window and I saw it. They are majestic creatures Neville, almost as beautiful as unicorns."
"So she wasn't so looney."
"I didn't say that. I had a fever, Neville."
"Luna was the most brillant person I knew, aside from Hermione, of course."
"Yes, aside from Hermione."
"I better go, I have rounds to do and I better see Susan."
"Break it to her gently about Hannah."
"I will, Merlin -- Hannah too. We lost so many today Ginny."
"I know." Ginny looked down.
"This better be some peace Harry brings... to make all this worth the cost."
"We'll make it worth it, Neville. Now go see Susan."
He skipped his rounds and went to his beloved straightaway. Ginny was right, Susan did need him badly. For the next few days she was in terrible pain, and due to the nature of the curse he couldn’t really remove it. But they sat and held hands and he found that made both of them feel better.
And the next day the sun rose. And he birthed Fleur’s son (which she named: Albus Jacques Weasley), lost more patients, but saved some too.
And they went to a lot of funerals, including Luna’s (Luna was cremated just to be safe) and Hannah’s and Lavender’s, but also a huge rock concert victory celebration with the reunited Hobgoblins, Weasley fireworks and dancing that Luna would've liked.
Molly Weasley adopted Violet and Harry married Ginny and Ron married Hermione and he and Susan had six children; three boys named Frank, Dean and Colin and three daughters they named Luna, Lavender and Hannah; and for many decades the wizarding world was at peace during a time that Professor Binns would later call the Pax Potter.
But throughout Neville's life, though it brought him many joys, though he enjoyed great success as a healer, that day, the day of the final battle forever remained in his memory and many nights he would wake up in a cold sweat shouting orders to Katie Bell or Fritz and despite Susan's loving arms wrapped tight around him, despite her whispers and kisses of reassurance, despite many nights of unbelievable passion, he could never stop himself from torturing himself mercilessly over what he could have done to save Luna or the others. If he had just opened Lavender up again, had tried internal heart message ...or if he had just loved Luna more or less because the prophecy, but then Susan....that day was an unhealable scar.
a/n Obviously this is a bit longer then the planned contest entry. I added back in some sections I had cut out (Ron/Hermione scene and explained the horcrux which previously I had just left up to the readers imagination). And pretty much completely rewrote the last part of the last chapter.
The 'PV' spell in Latin means 'Heart Beat'. Rather perfect don't you think for what it does?
Thanks for reading. So, sorry I killed Luna.