Chapter 5 : Gollywobbles and Mischief Managed…Fred’s Tale
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“Woman on deck…drop ‘um if ya got ‘um boys!” Ginny yelled at the threshold of the 7th year boy’s dorm her hand over her eyes.
“Oi, woman we could have been undressing here!” Fred yelled back in mock horror.
“So, it’s not like I haven’t seen you in you’re drawers before Gred.” She smirked at him hands still over her eyes “Is it safe to enter the inner-sanctum, no girls knickers hanging from the bed curtains or athletically muscular bare male bums for my licentious perusal?” she joked.
“No bare bums muscular or otherwise you brat, it’s safe to drop the hand now” George gave a disgruntled reply to his sister’s teasing.
Ginny dropped her hand and her eyes scanned the room a large lascivious Cheshire cat-like grin on her face. She wiggled the fingers of the hand she recently had raised to her eyes “Hiya boys, how they hangin’?”
“Ginny!” Fred and George gave an outraged cry.
She blinked her eyes owlishly in an exaggerated show of innocence “Did I say something wrong, I’ve heard you boys say that at least a dozen times or more.”
“Uh, no, just…no…don’t…just don’t say that again…okay” Fred mumbled.
“Oh, okay” She replied in the most innocent voice she could muster, without seeming too obvious to the “terrible two’s”
Lee Jordan who had been nonchalantly leaning on a bedpost, sauntered over to her, clad only in his pajama bottoms “Hey, Ginny, I must say you’re looking delectably ravishing this evening” he took her hand and kissed her knuckles in a show of chivalrous adoration, he winked at her as she blushed prettily, “To what do we owe the honor of your presence in our lowly dorm?”
Ginny, looked at Lee’s bare muscular chest and then down to his pajama bottoms, and smirked, how could she take him seriously when he wore pajamas with snitches on them. She crooked her finger at him and he lowered his head so that her mouth was mere inches from his ear.
From his vantage point next to his bed Fred saw a shiver course through Lee’s back as Ginny whispered in his ear, he frowned, glancing over to George he saw the same identical frown on his twins features as well. They watched as Lee lifted his head to smile down at her, he then walk toward the trunk at the foot of his bed grab a T-shirt and trainers and then stop in front of Ginny again. “I’ll be back in an hour will that be enough time?” he smiled down at her indulgently; she nodded and smiled at him in gratitude.
Fred looked over to George and nodded, a grim look on his face. George followed Lee out of the dorm.
“George, where are you going? I need to speak to you and Fred about something important.” She called out, but George kept right on walking.
“He’ll be right back, he just needs to give Lee a little bit of advice,” Fred answered for his twin.
She looked at Fred suspiciously then a dawning look of horror crossed over her face “Oh no, he’s not going to give Lee “the talk” is he?”
Fred lifted his hands and looked as his nails in a show of boredom and disinterest “I’m sure I don’t know what your talking about Golly”
“Oh, don’t act all innocent with me. If a crossed eyed boy was standing directly in front of me you’d swear he was looking at me inappropriately and you’d give him ‘the talk’ and don’t think I don’t know about it either.”
“You’re off your rocker Ginevra, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know about ‘the talk’ Fredrick, it goes something like this; ‘Hands off, not for the likes of you, too young, disembowelment with a dull spoon’. Does that ring any bells brother dearest?”
He had the decency to look sheepish.
“And to Lee of all people. Merlin’s teeth! I’ve known him practically all my life; he’s like the 7th Weasley brother, well the 8th if you count Harry. I’m like his baby sister.” She berated.
An uncharacteristic frown flitted crossed Fred’s features, “Let me enlighten you Ickle Ginny-kins, Lee is a hormonal 17 year old male and you my dear sister are a pretty, nubile ‘drool worthy, female, so believe me when I say, Lee does not see you as a ‘baby’ sister.”
She looked at Fred in shock and then a slow smile spread across her face “Drool worthy, huh?”
He smirked at her “Fishing for more compliments Golly?”
“Every chance I get” she smirked
“So my dear Gollywobbles tell your big brother Gred what ails ‘ya?”
“I’d rather wait for Forge to get back, I don’t want to have to start over when he gets here?”
Fred’s eyes flicked to the dorm room door “Nah, he might be a while”
Fred hopped unto his bed and patted the space next to him. Ginny took a few running steps and hopped on the bed next to Fred.
“Well get on with it my dear Gollywobbles, the meters running here”
“I absolutely loathe that moniker.” She groused
“Yes, I know, mores the reason to use it…and you’re stalling Golly.”
“Oh, Alright already,” she paused for a moment, heaved a great sigh, straightened her back and squared her shoulders, “It’s about Harry”
“Sorry love I am not brewing you a love potion, it’s for your own good you know.” He replied in his best imitation of Molly Weasley.
“Oh give it a rest already for Merlin’s sake, I was 11 years old. If I am going to be paying for that bit of foolishness at the tender age of 11, for the rest of my life…then you should be held accountable for your unhealthy infatuation with Celestina Warbeck when you were eight.”
“I will have you know that is simply family lore perpetuated by Bill and Charlie’s warped sense of humor” Fred replied haughtily.
Ginny rolled her eyes “Oh please, as if I don’t know where you keep your stash of CW posters”
“What! How did you…” Fred quickly snapped his mouth shut in an effort to salvage any future plea of plausible deniability.
She gave him a wide innocent smile “There are some advantages to being the smallest Weasley you know. The three ‘s’s’ of espionage brother dear; swift, stealthy and silent, all necessary qualities for survival in the Weasley clan.” She finished with an impertinent tilt to her lips.
“Besides, I’ve been dating Michael Corner all year…”
“The git” he coughed
“What? What? I didn’t say thing.”
“Watch it Gred or I’ll tell Angelina that you wear Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle boxer shorts.”
“I do not!” He spluttered.
“No you don’t, but she won’t know that will she?”
Fred stared at her in shocked awe and then a wide grin spread across his face “I worship the ground you walk on Golly, you make me proud.”
“Yes, well having two prankster and blackmailers extraordinaire as role models does have its advantages.”
“Oh stop it! You’re making me blush,” he gushed in a high-pitched voice.
“Alright now my dear enough with the pronouncements of mutual admiration or we could be here all evening. Tell Papa Bear all about your Harry problem.”
Ginny gave Fred a such look of utter loathing and contempt that it left him a bit startled “It’s that stupid bint Umbridge…”
“Okay what’ve I missed?” George sauntered into the room a rather large grin on his face and what looked like the beginnings of a bruise on his left cheek.
Ginny narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head in disgust “I’m not even going to ask. Come here George, let me see your cheek.”
A self satisfied look still plastered on his face, George walked over to the bed and stood in front of his sister, he bent at the waist so that they could be at eye level. Ginny gently took his face between her hands and moved his face from side to side to inspect the bruise from every angle, she placed a gentle kiss to the bruise “thank you for defending my honor” she whispered. He smiled beatifically down at her. Then without warning smacked him across the head.
“Oi! Whadya do that for?” He rubbed his head straightening from his bent position.
“Never mind that…come here.” She took out her wand pointing it at his face.
“Oh hell no woman, point that thing elsewhere.” He cringed.
“I’m not going to hex you, you big baby, I’m going to heal that bruise before it turns black and blue” she rolled her eyes at him.
His eyes narrowed suspiciously, after a moment, he leaned towards her again to await her ministrations.
She muttered a healing spell and the bruise slowly disappeared. “There, that should do it.” She put her wand down and gently pressed her fingers to his cheek. “Does that hurt?”
“Nope, all better now! Thanks Smidgette!”
“I hate to interrupt this very touching display of sibling affection, but can we please get down to discussing your Harry problem.” Fred interjected
“Oi, sis, we are not brewing a love potion, it’s for your own good you know” George practically mimicked Fred’s earlier words verbatim.
“Oh let’s not start that again shall we!” Ginny flung herself unto the bed arms above her head, her legs bent at the knees dangling over the side.
George gave Fred a puzzled look “Never mind,” he smiled widely, “I’ll fill you in later”
George nodded hopped on the bed and immediately emulated his sisters position on the bed, Fred quickly followed suit.
Fred took out his wand pointed it at the canopy above them and mumbled an incantation, a white mist emitting from his wand tip to create a constellation of stars above his bed. George then proceeded to do the same and the sound of crickets could be heard on all sides of them.
“Just like home” Ginny whispered.
“Ginny, you’re Harry problem?” Fred prompted
“It’s that stupid bint Umbridge!”
“You said that, what has she done, besides banning Harry and myself and my illustrious twin here, from Quidditch…for life”
“Stupid bint.” All three muttered together, turned to look at each other then burst out laughing.
“Well beside that heinous travesty of justice, she’s been making Harry’s life a living hell. But you know Harry he’s not talking. He hasn’t even told Ron or Hermione what’s been going on during those detentions. For all we know she’s been torturing him and he’d never let out a peep, probably some twisted sense of nobility.” She lay there for a moment gazing at the stars in contemplation.
“Anyway I went looking for him yesterday, I received Mum’s Chocolate Easter Eggs and she sent some to Harry too, I had seen him at breakfast and he was looking rather depressed and I thought he could use some cheering up and you know how he loves chocolate. The package looked as if it had been through the wars it had been rewrapped and had a stamp on it that read Inspected and Passed by Hogwarts High Inquisitor…”
“Stupid bint.” The Twins said on cue.
“He was staring off into space, with the most dejected look on his face. I called his name several times before he even turned my way with a blank look on his face, he wondered why I wasn’t at practice…oh and what a disaster that was by the way. You should have seen poor Angelina, Fred, I thought she was going to cry right there on the pitch. Sloper, somehow managed to knock himself unconscious with his own beater’s bat. We where absolute rubbish.” She huffed out in exasperation.
Fred patted the hand that Ginny had wresting on her stomach. “Give it some time Golly, they’ll get into the swing of things in no time…pardon the pun.” He snorted at his own joke.
“Oh, don’t’ feed me that rubbish we’re bloody awful and we’re going to make complete fools of ourselves. Oh and poor Ron, he’s so nervous he doesn’t know which way is up, it’s actually painful to watch him play. He wanted to quit, but Angelina wouldn’t let him.”
“Any way, enough of that we’ll sink or swim and no amount of blubbering about it is going to change that…”
“I gave Harry his package from Mum and…and…he looked as if he was about to cry, I’d never seen him looking so despondent, so hopeless. I thought maybe, he was depressed about that thing with Cho, and told him he should try talking to her, but he cut me off, said he didn’t want to talk to Cho…he…he said he wanted to talk to Sirius.”
She turned to her left. Fred could see her eyes were bright with tears she was fighting to keep them from brimming over. “Fred, do you remember when I was eight you and George told me that I was getting a broom for Christmas?”
“Yeah, Golly I remember. That was the first time you used your bat-bogey hex, quite an honor I’m sure.” He gave her a small sad smile.
It wasn’t meant to be a cruel joke. He and George were eleven, just back from Hogwarts for the Christmas hols, they were full of piss and vinegar and thought it would be funny to string her along about Mum and Dad getting her a broom for Christmas. They didn’t even know until Hermione told them just recently that she had been stealing all her brother’s brooms from the broom shed since she was six.
When Christmas morning came around and all the presents were opened and there was no broom among them, she turned hopeful eyes towards their Mum and asked about her broom, their Mum had such a sad look on her face when she told her their wouldn’t be a broom. What happened next would be forever imprinted in Fred’s mind as the most miserable moment of his young life. He and George were sniggering in the corner until Ginny turned her beautiful brown eyes at them, big wet tears streaming down her face, her bottom lip trembling in an effort to stop herself from out and out bawling in front of her brothers.
“How could you? I hate you, I hate you both!” She had pointed her hands at them and screamed a hex he and George had never heard before and then stormed out of the room in tears, they could hear her sobs as she ran up the stairs to her room slamming the door shut and then the muffled sound of her sobbing her heart out.
They had never seen their father in such a rage, he towered over them his voice booming in the room “What did you boys do? What did you?!”
Their Mum had raced up the stairs after Ginny; they could here their Mum’s plaintive pleading with Ginny to open the door. She had placed such a strong locking spell on the door that she couldn’t cancel it.
“We…we told her she was getting a broom for Christmas…we…we didn’t think…”
“No, you didn’t think!” You boys never think the hurt your mischief can cause…do you hear that?! That is your baby sister sobbing her heart out over your thoughtlessness. You will apologize to her. You will be de-gnoming the garden for the remainder of the Christmas holiday and you will have the sole duty of de-gnoming the garden during the summer holiday and if and when I’ve calmed down enough you can rest assured that you will have more punishments that my imagination can cook up between now and the end of the Christmas hols. Do I make myself clear?!”
Their heads lowered they answer in unison “Yes, Dad.”
“Go to your rooms for the remainder of the day, I don’t want to see you until I tell you to come down.” He ordered.
It hadn’t ended there either. They had received a dressing down from all three of their older brothers, even Ronnie had a go and they were so abjectly contrite that they sat and listened heads down cast and silent.
What was worse, through all of the lectures and berating they could still hear Ginny’s sobs one floor up.
It had finally taken their Dad to calm Ginny down enough to open the door to her room. Later they had pieced together from the rest of their brother’s how Ginny had cried in her father’s lap, big racking sobs shaking her tiny little frame. Fred always thought it was worse hearing the story second hand, for the mental picture it left in his mind, he was sure, was even worse than having witnessed it himself.
They had stayed in their rooms that entire Christmas Day, when Christmas supper was set, their Dad had called them down, but they had decided to stay in their rooms. Truth was, they just didn’t have the heart to face their sister. Their Mum had brought them some sandwiches afterwards. She didn’t yell at them as they had expected. She had looked down at her two twin sons and told them in a soft calm voice how disappointed she was in them and how she hoped that this kind of pranking would never happen again. And then they did something they hadn’t done since they were toddlers, they cried on their Mum’s shoulder.
They lay for hours on their beds that night wide-awake and staring at the ceiling of their room. Round about midnight they heard the hinges of their bedroom door creak and the petite figure of their sister stand hesitantly at the entrance a towel wrapped bundle in her hands.
She walked towards Fred’s bed “Budge over Fred.” She had whispered as she sat crossed legged at the foot of his bed. George had come over to sit next to his twin their backs resting on the headboard for support.
“I…I brought you some Christmas biscuits. Mum helped me bake them.” She unwrapped the bundle and offered them the biscuits.
“I’m sorry I hexed you, I…well I didn’t mean to it was kind of an accident…it wasn’t intentional…well that’s not really true, the intent and desire to hex you was their, but I didn’t know the ability was their to carry it through.”
“Don’t be sorry Gollywobbles, we…we deserved it.” Fred still held the cookie in his hand afraid that if he took a bite he would choke on it.
“Why? I mean, why would you do that? I thought you liked me enough not to pull….well I never thought you would play such an ugly joke on me like that?”
“Ginny-bean, we…we…” George swallowed hard, “we just didn’t really think this one through, but please believe me…believe us… when we say…”
“We never meant to hurt you Golly…we…” Fred said
“…swear it…we were just…” George continued
“..stupid…bloody wankers….” Fred added with a nod
“…yeah, stupid wankers…” George agreed, “…and if we ever doing anything as stupid as this ever again…”
“…we give you permission to hex us…”
“..into oblivion…we’ll even…”
“…stand still so you can’t miss”
She sat contemplating them from her perch at the food of the bed and then suddenly she smiled.
“That sounds fair enough…Wee-Wizards Oath?” she asked extending her hand out palm down fingers splayed.
They both grinned and said “Wee-Wizards Oath!” They extended their hands towards her own, fingertips touching and then proceeded to wiggle their fingers furiously sealing the oath.
“Eat your biscuits, you prats.” She grinned at them and then climbed up to the head of the bed lying down between them throwing her arms over their shoulders in companionable solidarity. Fred and George smiled at each other over her head. Ginny was happy and all was right with the world.
Suddenly Ginny began to giggle happily, then she chuckled and then she started laughing outright, it was the most contagious thing her laughter, she laughed so long and hard that they couldn’t help but laugh with her. They were so loud that the rest of the Weasley clan had assembled and were crowded in the small room laughing with them.
Every time Ginny would come down from her laughter induced hysteria she would look at her brothers and burst out laughing again. That had gone on for quite a while, until she had calmed down enough to kiss each of her brothers on the cheek and climbed off of the bed and walk toward the group gathered round the entrance of the room.
“Mum would you do the honors” Grinning like a fool, their Mum had walked up to the twins bed and conjured two mirrors handing them to her sons with a goofy grin on her face the likes of which they had never seen. They took the mirror from their Mums hands and turned to look at their reflections in the mirror and then burst out laughing at what was reflected back.
Their devious, adorable, mischievous, baby sister had turned her prankster brothers into ‘jackasses’
“The fact that I told you Mum helped me make the biscuits should have tipped you off, that and you forgot the Weasley motto.”
“Stick it to them before they can stick it to you?” Fred queried.
“No not that one.”
“Never leave the house with dirty boxers?” George supplied.
“That’s Mum’s fixation, not a motto you dolts,” their Mum spluttered in the background, “Oh, come on now…Never get angry…”
“When you can get even!” Fred and George chorused…their laughter sounded more like braying.
Ginny’s snort brought Fred back to the present. He turned to look at her watching with a bit of pride the look intense determination mingled with sadness upon her countenance.
“I never wanted anything more in my life the way I wanted that broom…until now. I want to give this to Harry…I want to give him his talk with Sirius and I want you two to help me.”
Ginny turned fierce eyes towards her brothers, “I have never asked you for a single solitary thing in my life…but I am asking you, no I am begging you to do this for me…for Harry. Please.” She looked at them imploringly.
“Please…he deserves this, he…he needs this right now, more than anything in the world. We’ve got each other to turn to…he…the only thing he has left of his parents is Sirius…please, please give this to him?”
They looked at each other, a volume of meaning in their short glance. “We’ll do what ever you need Golly…” Fred began
“…what do you need?” George finished
She flung her arms around Fred’s neck and rained kisses on his face as he protested through his laughter “Oi, woman stop that!”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She gushed as she continued to rain, fat wet smacking kisses on his face.
“Oi, I want some of that!” George protested
Ginny turned to George and gave him the same slobbery noisy kisses she had given his twin. “You are the bestest, sweetest, brothers in the whole wide world!”
“Okay Golly, calm down, what is it that you need exactly and when do you need it?” Fred peeled Ginny off his twin.
“Yes, right down to business,” she said in a no nonsense manner, rubbing her hands together. “You know the only fireplace connected to the Floo Network is in Umbridge’s office…”
“Stupid bint!” They chorused on cue.
“…Yes well, the one thing that toad of a woman is, is that she’s a creature of habit. She goes out every night at 9:00 o’clock sharp on rounds with her Inquisitorial Squad…”
“Bloody wankers!” they cut in.
“…most assuredly! Any way, what we need is a major diversionary tactic, namely a Weasley prank of epic proportions. I know we can’t buy him too much time, maybe fifteen to twenty minutes tops, but that’s better than nothing at all right?”
“I think we can come up with something impressive enough, however Ginny-bean, you will be no where near when this prank is being executed.” Fred closed one eye and grimaced in anticipation of the explosion that was his sister’s temper.
“What?! That’s not fair it’s my idea! Why shouldn’t I be involved?” she protested
“I’ll tell you why. In order for the ‘prank of the century’ to be successful we will need to be present at the scene of the crime, loosely translated my dear baby sister, we will be facing the very real and great possibility of expulsion…” Fred stated grimly.
“…yeah and quite frankly we could give a rats arse if we actually graduate from ‘Hoggy Warty Hogwarts’, you my dear still have three more years before graduation” George added.
“…we only came back this year to please Mum anyway. Besides Mum would have our hides if you were exposed, incriminated or expelled by association.”
Ginny had a dejected look on her face, Fred could tell that she had really wanted to be a part of giving this to Harry, but it would be their way or no way.
“I’m sorry…I never thought about the consequences of involving you. You…you don’t have to do this, you shouldn’t do this if it means getting expelled. Mum will be devastated…” Ginny’s protest was interrupted by Fred’s sudden outburst.
“Bugger that!” Fred yelled, “We’re going to go out with a bang Ginny-bean…”
“…and we’re going to stick it to Umbridge…”
“Stupid bint!” All three piped up.
“…in the process!”
Ginny smiled and looked at her brothers mischief, pride and love shinning in her eyes.
“Wee-Wizards Oath?” Ginny asked sticking out her hand.
“Wee-Wizards Oath!” And with the wiggling of fingers the bargain was sealed.
They tapped the mullioned glass window of the 4th year girl’s dorm. They could see Ginny pacing the room as they hovered outside the window on their brooms. She jumped startled by the noise and seeing their faces outside her dorm room window she raced to the window to swing open the glass.
“Is it done?” She asked in breathless excitement.
“Oh yeah…” Fred began
“…it was bloody brilliant, wish you’d been their to see it!” George supplied.
“Stupid bint!” They chortled gleefully.
“…didn’t know what hit her.” Fred laughed manically.
“Was Harry able to get to the Floo?”
“It was great Ginny-bean, we were able to stretch it out for a whole twenty-five minutes, it was bloody brilliant!”
She grinned at them and sobered. “Thank you boys…tha…thank you so much. I am sure this helped Harry loads. You were both brilliant and I am so proud of you.” She motioned for them to come closer to the windowsill.
She first took George’s face between her hands and kissed both his cheeks and then repeated the process with Fred.
“I am so proud to be your sister, I will never forget this, as long as I live.”
They smirked at her identical looks on the faces, “Mischief Managed?”
“Oh yes, Mischief Managed!”
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