Chapter 4 : Nice Potion, Dollface.
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Discaimer: I obvs. don't own HP.
"I swear you've got me all wrong."
Draco had finished dinner early and come up to his room. He was on his bed, lying on his back, thinking. He was thinking...about Jayla. Jayla, Jayla, Jayla, Jayla......her name flashed across his mind like a broadway sign. If she was a Slytherin he would have already asked her out years ago. But she was a Gryffindor. A MUGGLEBORN Gryffindor. If he even thought about going out with her, his father would kill him, not to mention all the Slytherin's would ostracize him completely. He sighed and turned into his side, to face the window.
He looked outside at the autumn sky, pure blue with white couds floating by, and started to feel depressed. Once again, he was unable to do what he truly wanted. Why must his life consist of so many rules? Do this, don't do that, never do this, always do that.....he was sick of it. He had been sick of it for a long time.
He sighed and sat up, not knowing what to do. None of his teachers had given any real homework, he only had a bit of reading for charms. He didn't really feel like he could concentrate on anything, especially reading, so he got up and walked to the common room.
A bunch of his friends - if he could even call them that - were sitting around the fireplace, talking and laughing. They called him over, but he shook his head and kept on walking. He left the common room and went up to the main floor of the school. He started towards the doors that led to the grounds, but ran into somebody. The somebody gave out a yelp and fell, dropping a huge stack of books.
"Damn!" Draco heard a female voice mutter from down on the floor.
"Sorry about that..." He sighed and knelt down to help the poor girl. He started to pick up some scattered books when he heard a gasp. He looked up and furrowed his brow. It was Granger. He had knocked over Granger, apologized, and was now helping her pick up her books! He was too lazy to think of any kind of insult or excuse, so just handed her the stack of books. She looked at him suspisiously.
"Aren't you going to laugh at me? Call me a mudblood? Throw my books away?"
Draco frowned. Was he really that cruel? Of course he was, but... All his life his father had been telling him that he was above mudbloods, and Draco had been brainwashed into believing the same. He suddenly felt bad. Just because Granger was a muggleborn know-it-all, did he really have to insult her everytime he caught sight of her?
"Erm...no...uh, Granger - Hermione - am....am I really that mean?"
She looked genuinely scared now, and stopped gathering her books. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but I'm not falling for it." She said defiantly. "Shove off, Malfoy. Please?"
"No!" He said, exasperated. "Really!" He bent down, picked up all of her books, then helped her up.
"See? I can be nice...." He handed her her books again. "Do you want help with those?"
Hermione stared at him. "No I'm fine...are you being serious, Malfoy? If this is a trick or something.."
"It's not! Really! Could you just tell me if I'm really so mean all the time?"
"Well, Draco, erm.....you can be pretty cruel, but I'm not sure it's entirely your fault....I mean, I know your father doesn't exactly set a good example of being kind and compassionate...no offense...."
Draco nodded, as his stomach twisted with disgust for himself. "Yeah, I know...bye, then." He walked off, continuing towards the grounds. He walked all the way to the black lake.
A cold wind wipped around him, and he shivered. He hadn't brought a jacket or anything, and the sun was decieving. It was really cold outside. He stared at the lake, his shoes inches away from the waters edge. He kicked at the ground, angrily. Why did he act so mean all the time? He didn't really feel that way about mugglenborns, it was all his father's fault! Draco grunted angrily, picked up a stone, and threw it as hard as he could.It sailed through the air and landed with a splash in the water.
The little voice at the back of his head was bugging him. It's not entirley your fault, Draco. You're the one who agrees with him, acts how he wants you to...
The more Draco thought about it, the angrier he got. He had been taught to be shallow, and only care about status and blood. He had looked up to a cruel man who bullied his wife and child, and abused people he considered lower than him. At the age of six, Draco had been told to never cry, never show emotions.
But it was sort of his fault, wasn't it? He had acted above everyone, just as his father wanted him to. He had insulted, harassed, and bullied those his father hated. He hadn't ever had his own opinion about those things...just his father's words, echoing around his head..
Draco suddenly laughed, a harsh cold laugh that sounded like a bark. He didn't recognize his own voice, coming out, laughing like that. Why the hell was he laughing? He was pathetic, his life had no meaning, and he had no meaning. He wasn't good for anyone. He acted like a bully, acted cruel and malicious, pretended to not care. But he did care - and he knew he wasn't such a terrible person inside. He felt so angry at himself, all because of Jayla Malloy.
Not her fault that he was a bad person, just her fault that he had realized it. Then again, if he was truly such a shallow, emotionless person, he would never have fallen for Jayla, before knowing who she was and what her blood was. Would he?
So maybe he really wasn't all that bad? Draco sighed, and slumped down in the cold grass. He looked up at the sky, now a dark blue. He hadn't payed attention to how long he had been out there, thinking. He realized he was freezing cold, but ignored it. He felt sort of numb, sort of blue, thinking about his life like that. He traced 'jayla' in the sky with his finger, over and over again. He smiled. Maybe her being a muggleborn was really a good thing. At least now he knew that his life was pointless, and would remain pointless, if he kept acting the way he did. Maybe if he tried to be nice once in a while...
'Compassion is for the weak' his father always said. 'Emotions are for the weak.' 'Learn to control your emotions, and you will never fail at anything.' Draco felt his anger rise up again, at his father, for allowing him to live such a shallow existance. He got up and started to head back to the castle, his trousers soaked from the grass and his teeth chattering from the cold. A gust of wind came over him, and seemed to go right through him. He made a decision. Thought it in his head. Then said it out loud.
"I am not going to become my father." He stopped walking and balled up his fists. "I am not going to become my father." He started running towards the castle, and remembered something he had overheard Jayla singing, yesterday when he watched her dance.
'And you're my good feeling.
I'm kneeling inside a room, she paints me blue.
And you are my reason for breathing.
Inside a room, she paints me blue, again.'
Thats what you're doing, Jayla. He thought. You're painting me blue....
* * * * *
"I'm sick and tired...of being sick and tired."
Jayla was sitting on one of the hard benches in the great hall. She was the only person in there; everyone else had gone to their common rooms. She stared at her empty plate, crying. Her good mood had turned into a bad one after transfiguration, when she had overheard Ron saying something about 'crazy muggles who make themselves throw up so they can lose weight'. Some people laughed, but Hermione had scolded him, of course, about bulimia being a serious matter, and a sickness that not only muggles developed.
Ron hadn't been talking about Jayla; he and some friends had been mock throwing up as they talked about various disgusting foods, and someone mentioned something about being sick on purpose if they ever ate something so gross. So he wasn't insulting Jayla, but all the same, his attitude about it had made her feel like she was six inches tall, like she was out of her mind. She knew she wasn't exactly healthy, but was she crazy?
The food on the house tables stayed until everyone left the great hall, so all of it was still in front of Jayla, testing her, taunting her. She knew that Hermione would find out if she threw up, so she decided not to eat. She sniffed and wiped under her eyes, trying to stop her tears, but still they came. She lay down her head on her empty plate and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling utterly depressed. She heard someone walk into the great hall and froze, praying they wouldn't see her.
Not daring to breathe, she stayed perfectly still, listening to the person's footsteps walk around the great hall. They came closer and closer to her, but Jayla still didn't move. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Jayla." It was Hermione. Jayla sniffed but didn't say anything.
"Jayla?" Hermione sounded worried. "Um....you should probably come up to the common rooms now, before a teacher comes....."
Jayla cleared her throat. "No, I'm okay.....I'll stay here." She said into her plate.
"But, Jayla....I saw Professor McGonagall....she told me to check the great hall for people....she's going to come, in a few minutes...."
Jayla sighed and sat up, only to see McGonagall entering the great hall. She groaned quietly. The professor walked over quickly.
"Miss Malloy...the great hall needs to be cleaned up now. Would you please go to your common room with Miss Granger?" She said, looking at Jayla curiously. Jayla sniffed and pursed her lips, trying not to cry again. Hermione and Professor McGonagall exchanged looks.
"Miss Malloy." McGonagall said firmly. "Are you allright?"
Jayla shook her head, unable to speak from holding back tears. Stupid McGonagall - she knew about Jayla's problem. She had been the one to tell Jayla's mother, the one to call a meeting with her family and Dumbledore, the one to recommend therapy, the one to ruin her plans -
"Will you be allright with Hermione?"
Jayla nodded and stood up from the table.
"I'll take her to the common rooms, Professor." Said Hermione
Professor McGonagall nodded and then gave Jayla an extremely uncharacteristic hug. Jayla was so shocked that she burst out crying again. McGonagall looked taken aback.
"Now really....since when does a hug cause someone to cry?" Jayla hiccupped and started to laugh a little. Hermione was smiling.
"That's better. Good evening, you two." Said Professor McGonagall, as she left.
As soon as she was gone, Hermione and Jayla went into hysterical laughter. "McGonagall hugged you!" Hermione gasped out. Jayla was laughing too hard to say anything, so she just nodded, tears of laughter streaming down her face.
Finally, when both girls had calmed down, they started towards the Gryffindor common rooms.
"Um, Jayla, " Hermione was saying. "McGonagall told me. About - you.."
"She thinks I can help you? Or something?"
Jayla's mind was racing, and her thoughts were forming so fast she couldn't speak. She just stared at Hermione.
"So....if you ever want to talk..you know....um...." Hermione sighed and took Jayla's arm lightly. "You...okay?"
"Not really, " Jayla hissed, suddenly able to speak again. "Let's just - go. To the common room."
She and Hermione didn't speak for the rest of the evening, until the next day.
* * * * *
"You bite your lip; you keep pretending
that you're made of stone.
You never let it show, but darling,
"Okay, lets do it again," Miss Alexander was saying.
The girls all scurried into lines, facing the large mirrors of the dance studio. Jayla stood inbetween Cho Chang and Ginny Weasely. They were practising ballet positions - Miss Alexander said it was a way to see who had more or less experience in the class.
"First!" instructed Miss Alexander. Immediately, every girl in the class stood, backs straight, feet pointed outwards, heels together, arms curved forwards. Their teacher walked around the room to inspect the girl's positions.
"Good...good...good...heels together dear, yes that's right...good...okay. Second!"
Jayla stretched her arms out to the side, keeping them straight, and separated her heels, like every other girl in the class. Then third position; right arm curved forwards, right foot in front of the left. Fourth position; left foot slid back, left arm curved to the front. Fifth position; both arms curved upwards, right foot directly over the left. These positions were very familiar to her - but some other girls struggled a bit. Miss Alexander corrected their positions each time, in her encouraging voice.
"Okay girls, come and sit in a circle." Everyone gathered in a large ring around their teacher.
"Okay now, everyone raise your hand in the air." Miss Alexander instructed. "Nice and high, so I can see. Okay, now, keep your hand up if you have any dance experience at all, even just a few hours."
Every hand stayed in the air. Miss Alexander nodded. "Now, keep your hand up if you have had one year or more." A couple hands dropped. Jayla kept her's in the air, steadily.
"Keep your hand up if you have had two years or more......three years or more....." For each additional year Miss Alexander added, more and more hands dropped. Finally, the only hands that remained in the air were Jayla and Cho's, for seven or more years.
"How many years have you two had? More than ten years? " Miss Alexander asked them.
"Cho and Jayla both nodded.
"Okay. So for the next two weeks or so, we will be doing stuff that you two will no doubt know....so you'll have to bear with the rest of the class." Jayla and Cho nodded. "Well....why don't you two show us a little something?"
Jayla and Cho exchanged weary looks. "Um...." Cho started.
"How about.....some pirouettes? Yes, come to the front and everyone else, stand back and watch."
Jayla felt herself flush as she and Cho walked to the front of the room to face the class.
"Could you just do a triple turn?" Miss Alexander asked. Both girls nodded. "Okay then.....5, 6, 7, 8... "
Jayla and Cho both did three quick turns, and stopped at the same time. The class clapped.
"Beautiful!" Praised Miss Alexander. Jayla and Cho stayed silent.
"Well, I was going to teach pirouettes today, but since you two already know them, would you run some quick errands for me?" Jayla and Cho nodded.
"Okay...Cho, would you please bring this letter to Professor Vector? And Jayla, bring this one to Professor Trelawney, please." She handed them the letters, in creamy white envelopes, but the girls made no movement to leave.
"Um...Miss.....shouldn't we change?" asked Cho. Jayla had been thinking the same thing.
"No, no, girls, you look lovely. Don't bother. Now on with it!" She said, chuckling.
They both turned and exited the room slowly. Once they were a bit down the hall, Cho started to talk to Jayla. "You're a really good dancer." She said.
"Oh! Thanks. You are, too. I feel a bit weird, walking down the halls of Hogwarts in a leotard and tights, don't you?" Jayla laughed.
"Yes!" Cho exclaimed. Well, I have to go down these stairs...see you later!"
"Bye," said Jayla, as she continued towards the North Tower, to find Professor Trelawney. Hopefully, she wouldn't have any students with her....
Jayla finally got to the top of the ladder leading to Trelawneys classroom. She knocked on the door, three times, and waited for someone to come. The door opened a crack. "Yes?" Came the voice of Professor Trelawney.
"I have a letter for you, from Miss Alexander...." Jayla said. She watched, as the door to the classroom opened wider, and Professor Trelawney beckoned her inside. As Jayla stepped in, she saw, to her horror, that Professor Trelawney did, in fact, have a class with her. The sixth year Slytherins, to be more specific. Jayla caught the eyes of Draco, who smirked at her, obviously wondering what the hell she was wearing. Jayla tried to hand Trelawney the letter, but the teacher was walking to her desk. Jayla mentally groaned and followed her. "Um....Miss?" She tried to hand her the letter again. Some of the Slytherins laughed, and Jayla could feel everyone's eyes on her.
Professor Trelawney turned around to face Jayla. "Oh, of course, the letter....." She took it from Jayla. "What are you wearing, dear?" Jayla glanced at Draco, who was smirking more than ever. She felt her strong knees tremble slightly.
"It's for dance, Professor....for dance class. Ballet?" She looked at Draco once again and saw Pansy Parkinson, who was sitting next to him, snigger. Jayla's head felt heavy, surrounded by the thick air of the divinatioon classroom.
"Dancing, how lovely, " Professor Trelawney said, sounding a little less spaced out than usual.
"Er...yeah..." said Jayla, inching towards the door a bit, not sure if she should leave or not. She was honestly scared of Professor Trelawney......she thought the stuffiness of the divination classroom must have got to her head after teaching there for so long.
"Why don't you show us all a little something?" Professor Trelawney asked.
The Slytherins were sniggering more than ever now, and Jayla so wanted to say no, but she couldn't, seeing the look on Trelawneys face.
"Okay...." She said slowly. "Um...." She wasn't sure what to do, and the classroom was quite crowded, so she didn't have many options. She thought for a moment, then decided to do something quick and easy.
She stood back from the Professor a bit, trying to get as much space as possible around her, then did some quick jumps and some turns, ending in a small arabesque. A couple of people in the class whooped. Jayla heard Pansy Parkinson hiss 'show off' quite loudly.
Professor Trelawney smiled her strange smile. "Lovely, simply lovely....Are you quite well, dear? You have an aura about you...suffering..."
Jayla's eyes widened. "Uhh..."
Trelawney's head suddenly twitched, and she frowned slightly. Turning away from Jayla, she muttered, "Yes, well, that's all, thank you for bringing me the letter..."
Jayla nodded and, shooting back one last look at Draco, scurried out of the classroom as fast as she could.
Draco stared at the crystal ball, seeing only fog. He yawned and stretched his neck from side to side. He had no idea why his father had made him sign up for divination again...it was boring, and pretty pointless. Furthermore, Pansy Parkinson sitting beside him didn't help. She seemed to think he was some sort of cat that needed constant attention and stroking. He looked back at his crystal ball and sighed. Suddenly, he felt a hand on top of his, and, knowing it was Pansy's, jerked away as fast as he could. He shot Pansy the dirtiest look he could, just as a soft knock sounded from the classroom door.
Professor Trelawney moved slowly towards the door, opened it a crack, and peered through.
"Yes?" She inquired in her trance-like voice. Draco craned his neck to see who was at the door, but couldn't.
"I have a letter for you, from Miss Alexander..." It was girl's voice, a voice that he recognized at once.
"It's your little mudblood girlfriend, " Pansy hissed in his ear, and he winced.
Trelawney opened the door wide and walked to her desk. Jayla came in, following her, trying to pass her the letter. She looked at Draco and his throat seemed to close. He did his best to smirk sexily, but couldn't keep eye contact with her, for he was too busy looking at her body...
She must have been in a dance class - she was wearing white tights under a black leotard, and black slipper type things. She looked extremely feeble, standing at the door, watching Trelawney like a child watching a crazy person. Draco couldnt help but notice how her collarbone and ribs were visible through the leotard, or how her thin thighs were tensing and untensing nervously.
"What are you wearing, dear?" Trelawney asked.
"It's for dance, Professor....for dance class." Jayla said, inching towards the door slighlty.
"Dancing, how lovely..."
"Er...yeah...." Jayla looked extremely uncomfortable.
"Why don't you show us a little something?" asked the Professor.
Jayla's eyes opened wide and she looked like she would rather die than dance right then. Never the less, she took a deep breath and took a few steps back, into the most open space in the crowded classroom. She put her heels together, arms outstretched, and held her head high. Then, out of nowhere, she skillfully leapt up into the air, switching her feet around. She did the about three times before spinning, spinning like Draco had seen her spin before, until she finally ended in a graceful pose. She looked at him, and he smirked at her once again. Around him, a few people whooped and wistled. Pansy Parkinson hissed 'showoff' into his right ear. He flinched and moved away from her, rubbing it.
Professor Trelawney smiled her strange smile. "Lovely, simply lovely....Are you quite well, dear? You have an aura about you...suffering..."
Draco watched as Jayla's eyes visibly widened. She looked horrified. "Uhh..."
All of a sudden, the teacher's head sort of twitched, and she turned around quickly. "Yes, well, that's all, thank you for bringing me the letter..." She was muttering.
Jayla nodded and looked back at Draco. He tried to smirk, but she leapt out of the room too fast to notice.
* * * * *
"sometimes you say the smallest
thing or smile && it makes my
entire day better."
Jayla had been so flustered by that little situation in Trelawney's room that she had completely forgotten about having double potions with the Slytherins that afternoon. It was hell, of course, as she had been paired with Harry, whom Snape treated cruelly and unfairly. Their perfect potion hadn't 'smelled right', and therefore been dumped down the drain, recieving a zero. Their's had sure smelled better than Ron and Neville's, yet who's had been dumped down the drain? Harry and Jayla's.
Furthermore, she had had to watch as Draco was paired with Pansy Parkinson, who flirted with him to no end, giggling and fluttering her eyelashes at him, never missing an opportunity to grab his hand or his arm.
As they left the classroom, Jayla walked with Hermione, Ron, and Harry. She and Hermione were laughing, as Ron and Harry spat out every nasty thing they could think of to say about Snape.
"Our potion probably smelled 'wrong' because when he leaned over to smell it, all of the grease on his nose dripped into it!" Harry growled.
As the girls went into more peels of laughter, Jayla spotted Draco Malfoy walking with his usual gang, in her direction. She stopped laughing. As he passed her and her friends, he leaned over and murmered in her ear.
"...Nice potion, dollface..."
Jayla's jaw dropped and she stared after him as he slinked away. He turned around and winked at her, and she felt her face get hot...exeptionally hot. What was that all about? she wondered.
"What was that all about?!?" Harry, Hermione, and Ron all asked at the same time, quite loudly.
"What a creep, going around whispering in people's ears like he's royalty." Ron scowled.
"I have no idea..." Jayla muttered, as shivers ran down her spine. She shook her head, not wanting to admit that she hadn't exactly hated it.
A/N: Please leave me a review! I love getting them (:
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