The Grass is Much Greener on the Other Side
Chapter 11: Rapid Squirrels Bring Out the Worst in People.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me; rather it belongs to J.K Rowling. She’s the genius; not I.
Who needs friends? I mean…Severus Snape has been doing a good ol’ job at Hogwarts without any friends. He functions perfectly normal. He’s acts like any eleven year would.
Me, I don’t need anyone either. Lily was just a nuisance. She was like a detour, distracting me from my main course of action: to become a well-trained witch.
Sirius was like…a pot hole. He was in the way and constantly kept appearing.
Well they’re James’ problem now.
No w I can focus on my dream; world domination, or at least surviving until I turn twelve.
“Hey watch it!”
I heard a voice snap at me as I bumped into a lumpy looking figure and fell to the floor.
It was only Remus, no need to call in the National Guard; but thanks for your concern.
“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” I muttered. Really I wasn’t. Now that I don’t have anyone to talk to, I don’t have to pretend I’m paying attention to them.
“Thanks okay, I was just walking to Madam Promfrey’s…I…um…feel sick.” Remus stuttered getting up.
Upon further examination, he did look ghastly pale.
I didn’t want to say anything to him, but he did look like a vampire. Maybe I should tell National Geographic that vampires do exist and reside in England.
Then I would get paid millions and I could buy myself friends!
That is…if I wanted any.
“Oh…um…you do look sick.” I said when he kept looking at me strangely.
“Thanks?” he replied.
“No…problem?” I responded awkwardly, “So what’s wrong with you?”
“No idea…” Remus spat out, “I got to go.” He muttered quickly and disappeared faster than you could say, “Of course I’ll give you money Teely.”
Oh really, you’re too kind.
Oh God, I’m talking to myself.
“But….But…I feel so bad. She was my best friend, and I just left her. That’s why I was put in Gryffindor and not the other houses because I just don’t get up and leave my friends like that. I’m a horrible person. Just throw me in the dumpster now,” Said Lily for the twentieth time.
“Then go apologize?” I muttered annoyed.
Frankly I don’t care. Teely got what was coming to her.
“She won’t listen.” Lily pouted.
Maybe if I just ignored this topic, it will go away.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
Don’t say anything.
La, La, La,
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
Think about food….
“Are you even listening?”
Yum…mashed potatoes and gravy…
It’s not working.
“What?” I finally whined.
“What are we going to do?” Lily asked.
“About what…” I snapped.
“Teely, the girl I’ve been talking about for the last hour.” Lily sighed.
Last hour; that was an understatement.
Try the last week for starters.
“I don’t even like her.” I muttered.
“You don’t even know her.” Lily counted.
Men in the old day had it simple; their ladies didn’t feel the need to talk their mouths off.
I envy them.
“Well what do you propose we do?” I snorted.
All I really wanted is some peace and quiet.
“I dunno…you’re the prank genius.” Lily said, “I’m just the adorable sidekick.”
That’s the truth.
“Give me a second then...” I muttered.
What can you do? She called me a genius. The least I can do is get her friend back.
“Ohkay,” I said after five minutes. “We’re going to need several rapid squirrels and a water gun.” I smiled, hoping there were no food in-between my teeth.
Going through week two of my (friendless) life, I find myself quite bored, and…lonely.
I wake up, glare at a sleeping Lily, who is oblivious, get dressed, go eat breakfast, alone, go to classes, eat dinner, and spend the remaining hours wandering the castle doing…you guessed it nothing.
Now I’m not saying that you have to feel bad for me but the gesture would be nice.
It’s times like this when I realize how much I miss home.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! Teely! You must help! You have too! Lily and James are in Danger! DANGER!” Remus yelled coming up to me in the (empty) corridor.
“Oh I’m sure you can get someone else, I was looking for Severus…we had a chess date.” I lied straight out.
The two things in life I hate: Chess and Severus’ greasy hair and I used them both in a lie.
“He’s in the library studying though…” Remus answered looking confused before shouting (rather loudly might I add), “But that’s not the point…please come!”
Well…he did say please.
“No.” I spat out about to turn away until he grabbed my arm, let me repeat this for emphasis:
And started dragging me the other way.
“Fine...” I sighed trying to get him to loosen my grip.
I was on the verge of biting him too until I saw a, “baby squirrel. Awe…it’s adorable.”
“What?” Remus replied letting go of my arm.
“It’s so cute and little, yes he is. Yes, he is…” I cooed walking ever so slowly to the squirrel who managed to find himself in a corridor.
“Where’s your mummy you poor, dear, cute tail, little thing.” I smiled getting on my hands and legs to get a better view.
I could’ve sworn I heard Remus slap his forehead at this point.
But this squirrel seriously, was the cutest thing you ever could see. I mean I thought I was cute as a baby, but this squirrel puts me to shame.
“Can we go? Remember…James…Lily…danger?” Remus asked also getting on his hands and knees.
“But…but this poor squirrel is all alone.” I muttered as I watched him nibble on his small, delicate paw. “The least we could do is bring it outside.” I said, and thought I saw Remus’ mouth go into a humungous smile.
But I thought it was because the squirrel now was grooming his bushy tail.
I crawled forward to get Mr. Adorable…and he started walking towards me. It was the darn cutest thing ever.
But apparently these moments do not last forever.
Because when I stretched my hand out, so he could jump into it, his “not so adorable” teeth sunk into my palm!
I guess you can guess what I did.
If you thought screamed bloody Mary while jumping up and down and running around in circles, semi-what cursing….you would be dead on target.
“OH MY-WHAT THE-OWWW!!! Stupid, PATHETIC, DARN YOU TO HECK SQUIRREL! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF MY- HAND! AHHHHHHHHHHH!”
What? I was furious.
I held my hand out and tried shaking it off, but the cursed creature only held on tighter.
His tenacious grip was unbreakable.
“Did I hear someone yelping in pain?” I suddenly hear a new voice call, and spun around-still freaking out- and saw….
James. Bloody. Friend Stealing. Potter.
“No. I’m just yelling out in pain because I got an A on my Charms Test.” I retorted shaking my hand wildly.
“Well my dear comrade, no need for sarcasm.” James grinned pulling out his stupid wand, and doing stupid magic, that got the stupid squirrel off me.
I looked at my hand. It was swelling. Stupid baby squirrel.
“Shall I escort you to the hospital wing?” James asked politely.
“Shall I punch your face in?”
“Shall I put that squirrel back on you?”
“Shall I kick you in the you know where?”
James huffed, “You could be nicer, I just freaking saved your hand!”
“Thanks.” I mumbled and walked down the corridor away from him.
But as I was walking my mind started hatching a diabolic plan.
If I sided with Potter, I could get into his head, know his fears, and then betray and perform the best prank ever.
Teely, you sly dog.
A/N: Umm…hi? Sorry for the long no update again, writers block. But it’s been unblock and I’ll try hard to go faster. =]
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