A/N: Please forgive me, I came up with this last night. I've been sick with Bronchitis and through the drugs that I've been on I came up with this idea. It fits in the storyline, and plus it gives me an excuse to write from Draco's point of view. If it sucks blame the drugs, if it rocks I'll take all the credit. Hugs and chuckles..... (I don't own any of this.)
The Pink Death Eater
Two months later in a secluded mountainous retreat in northern Italy Draco Malfoy was bringing the latest news to his father. Kneeling before him the blond Death Eater humbly said, “Father. I have returned from America.”
“So you have.” he waited for a brief moment before saying, “Well, don’t keep me waiting. Explain your successes.”
Standing up before him he nodded to the door and they opened. A shapely, young, bubble gum chewing Asian witch walked through the doors and stated, “Yeah, what’s up?”
Lucius turned around and looked at Draco like this was a joke. “What’s this?”
“Tawny Chang. She was one of our targets. I found her in a wedding dress outside of Las Vegas, she had run away from her arranged marriage.” Draco illuminated. “While trailing her, I personally saw her defeat four wizards in a bar fight and, I think she would make a fine addition to our ranks. She seems to be a fine recruit.”
“As long as I get a tatoo.” she said as she leaned back in a conjured chair. “Those things are cool.”
“Are you serious?” Lucius questioned his son. “This is a success?” Spinning around to face the girl he shouted, “Crucio!”
The girl lazily flicked her wand in the general direction of Lucius and a wall of rock shot from the ground absorbing the curse. She then leaned forward around the wall and wordlessly shot a curse of her own. Lucius instantly began rolling around on the floor laughing and giggling. “Stop. Stop. Finite.” But nothing happened. Looking to the girl, “Please stop it!”
“Say ‘calf rope’ Lucius-poo.”
“Calf rope!” She flicked her wand and instantly he was released from the curse. Righting himself he nodded his head, “Ok, she can join us. But, I think she needs to be your concubine.”
“What? NO, please, dad.” He looked over at her and dropped his voice, “She is psycho! I don’t want her. She’d drive me insane. You haven’t had to spend two months with her.”
Smiling Lucius commented, “This will serve you for your failures in America. I sent you there with express orders and this is all you can come up with?”
“Fine!” Draco huffed, turning to Tawny, “Let’s go.”
“Not until I get a tattoo! Daddy never would let me get one!” she said as she folded her arms.
“Ok! You ditzy chick! Father, can you do the honors?” Draco asked.
Without saying a word he turned to the girl and pointed his wand at her arm. The normally painful process simply made the curious girl giggle. “He he, that tickles.” When it was over she looked at the inkspot and grinned, “Cool! Thanks Lucy.”
“It’s Lord Malfoy.” he corrected.
“Nah, that’s too formal. I like Lucy. Or Lucy poo.” Putting the wand to her head thinking deeply, “Yeah, I think I like Lucy better.”
“My name is not LUCY!!!” he bellowed.
“Temper, temper. Calm down Lucy.” she giggled.
“That’s it! I’m killing her.” turning to Draco he said, “Put her in the pit!”
“It won’t work.” Draco admitted.
“Just do it! I want to kill her!” Lucius crazily expanded.
Draco took her into the common area and tossed her into a sunken dirt pit. Tawny casually looked around and decided to make the area where she landed a bit more special. She conjured up chairs and umbrellas, filled some glasses with drinks and then made two trees grow. Nodding her head she quickly put a hammock strung between the trees. She smiled and hopped into the hammock and awaited her sentence.
“All faithful Death Eaters meet around the pit!” was heard. All Death Eaters in the building circled around the pit when Lucius made his entrance. He looked over the edge and was aghast, “Who.. Who did that?”
Draco looked over the edge and said noncommitally, “She did.”
“Grrrrr....” turning to the group he ordered. “I want her dead!” Pointing at two of the men in the circle. “You two, get in there and do it!”
They hopped in and were approaching Tawny when she lifted her conjured sunglasses and flicked her wand. Instantly a cage enclosed the two brutes. “Now, now, let’s not fight. Can’t we just be peaceful little birdies?”
One of them tried to send a spell through the bars only to have it rebounded into the cage with them. It bounced around and around until it hit his friend in the stomach and knocked him backwards into the other side of the cage. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” she advised as she got up and walked over to the cage. “Hmmmm....” she casually flicked her wand and the robes disappeared revealing two men in heart covered boxers. “Hehe.” she giggled then she flicked her wand again and they had large bunny ears sprout from their head. She giggled some more and looked up to the crowd, “This is fun!”
Lucius had had enough. He scanned the crowd and found the roughest, strongest, cruelest Death Eater of all. “Go, get her and tear her limb from limb.”
“Yes, sir, with pleasure.” he jumped over the edge and looked around. Walking towards her creation on the side of the pit he began setting fire to the thatch roof buildings and melting the furniture. “Oh, little pretty girl....” he sing songed, “come out and play.” he let out an evil laugh.
“You! You destroyed my huts!” fury etched her face, “Oh, it’s on now, dude!” The crowd was amazed at her quick wand work. By the time she was finished even Lucius was impressed as a boil covered lump of worm meat was wrapped and woven and held in the air by the hammock. She jumped up and grabbed the ropes, casting a quick featherlite charm, she began circling the load over his head and let it go. It flew to the otherside and landed with a thud.
By now everyone around the pit were cheering for Tawny, and Lucius himself shouted above the others, “Finish him! Kill him!”
She walked beside the lump and looked down. Pointing her wand at the lump the hammock disappeared and he regained his form. Of course he was knocked unconscious and was beaten into a bloody pulp. “Naw, man, I’m not a killer.” She then conjured a ladder and climbed out of the pit.
The cadre of Death Eaters cried out as one in amazement, “You’re not a killer?”
“Nah, it’s not my thing.” She skipped over to Draco and wrapped her arms around him, “That was fun.” snuggling up to him she cooed, “So, when do I get to duel Harry Potter? I’ve always wanted to test him out.” adding with an undertone she spoke to herself, not realizing that everyone else could hear her lusting, “Ohh, that big hunk of man meat. What I could do to him.” looking to Draco she smiled and made a cat noise that honestly spooked the living crap out of him.
“Dad!” he begged, “Do I have to take her as a concubine?”
“Yes, Draco. Now go get her suited up! She’s more than proven herself. We’ll just have to work on the whole not killing thing.” Lucius ordered.
He took her to the clothing area and gathered her robes and mask. “These are standard issue...”
“Gray robes? Nah.” she pointed her wand at them and they became pink. “That’s better.”
“No, it’s not.” he pointed his wand at them and they became gray again. “Leave them as is.”
“No.” she turned them pink
“Stop that.” he turned them gray.
“I won’t. You stop, they are my robes.” she turned them pink.
“You will be the laughing stock of the Death Eaters.” he turned them gray.
“But gray is not my style.” she turned them pink.
“Pink does not strike fear into people’s hearts.” he turned them gray.
“Oh and this color does.” she turned them into a darker gray.
“No, this one does.” he turned them pink. “Crap!”
Taking the pink robes she smiled, “Well if you insist!” She then turned to the mask., “Hmm, hehe.” turning to Draco she asked him, “Guess who I am!” putting the mask to her face she began making fake breathing noises and said, “Draco, Draco, I am your father.” in a deep voice, “Come to the dark side, feel it, become it, poop it!” she finally broke down into giggles.
Slapping his forehead Draco pleaded, “Please stop!”
She giggled again, “Or this one!” she did some quick transfiguring, and put it to her face, “Come with me my love! Live with me in the depths of this theater!”
Having enough he took the mask from her, “If you’re not going to treat it right, I’m not gong to let you wear it!”
Reaching for the mask she said, “Ohhh kayy.” then quickly added some flowers and happy faces to the decorations on the masks. “That’s better.”
“Whatever you say.” Draco led her to her dark room. “This is where you will live.”
“Oh, this won’t do.” she quickly covered the walls with purple paint, and made pink curtains with purple hearts for the windows. Tsking at the window she quickly conjured a window box and set it out the window where the quickly growing plants could get some sunlight. Turning to the simple bed she waved her wand and a stately four poster bed with silk sheets appeared. “That’s better.”
“I think I need some water.” he walked into the bathroom and drank some water from the tap. Looking to the mirror he realized how much he had aged in two months. This woman was driving him crazy! He finished his glass of water and turned back to the bedroom. He stopped at the doorway when he saw her beautiful butt in the air and she was doing stretches. Swallowing hard and trying to keep a certain part of him under control he asked casually, “What are you doing?”
“Stretching. I’m about to go on my daily run. You want to come with?” she asked.
“No, I’m going to stay here.” he watched her silently then asked, “Why do you run every day?”
“To stay in shape. I personally don’t want to have a spare tire like you do.” she stated.
“Me? I don’t have a spare tire!” he defended.
She giggled and quickly poked his belly. “Go ahead and giggle like the Pillsbury Doughboy!” he slapped her hand and she kept at it, poking him and getting closer.
“No, and who is the doughboy you speak of?” he said as he kept fending off her advances.
“I’ve got to get you hip to a whole lot of things don’t I?” she pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him. They both noticed their awkward position and Tawny giggled. She leaned down and laid a kiss on him that left him speechless. When she was through she sprung up like a Jack in the box and challenged, “If you can catch me, there’s more where that came from!” And raced down the hall and out the door into the mountains.
Draco got up and looked in the mirror. Turning to see a profile the room heard him mutter, “I’m not getting fat. Am I?” Sighing he set off to find his concubine. He never caught up with her until after they had ran nearly a mile and was heading back to the headquarters. He grabbed her around the waist and they fell into a thatch of pine needle covered ground. “Finally! Do you realize how fast you are?” he said through deep breaths.
“Yeah, much faster than you. I actually had to slow down there to let you catch me!” she said.
“You slowed down?” shaking his head, “No, you didn’t! Why are you not out of breath?”
“Because I’m in shape.” she said frustratedly, “You are not.” pushing him on his back she said, “Now, let me show you how good of shape I’m really in.” she removed her shirt showing off all her curves and cocked her head to one side, “If I’m going to be your concubine, I’ve got to do my best job, now don’t I?”
“Uhh, yeah.” he gulped as she slid off her pants. Twenty minutes later, after the best sex he had ever had Tawny jumped up.
“Ok. You rested enough. Let’s go.” she threw him his shirt and quickly put hers on. “I don’t want to be the concubine to a fat slob.” She put on her pants and waited for him to get ready. Once they were set they began a quick clip back to the headquarters. They ran for another twenty minutes before they found their room and cleaned up.
After they were through with their showers (Tawny made it a point to use all the hot water) a shivering Draco and comfortable Tawny sat down at a conjured table for tea. “Tawny, why do you want to become a Death Eater? It’s not like you exactly fit the mold.”
“I’m great at dueling and you always end up dueling Aurors and those Order of the Phoenix guys and gals.”
“How do you know so much about our culture?” Draco asked wonderingly.
“Ah, American magical world is quite boring at times. So, I made it a point to keep tabs on what was going on over here. I kept all the articles and tracked Harry Potter’s life for as long as I can remember. I always dreamed of dueling with him. So, that’s why I’m here.” she stated as if it was plain as day.
“You do know we are the ‘bad’ guys. Right?” Draco asked cautiously.
“Yeah, I know. But that’s ok.” She said when she finished her tea. “Hmm, that’s going to take some getting used to.” there was suddenly a hum that sounded when there was a Death Eater meeting.
“Well, come on. Time for your first real meeting.” Draco said offering her his hand.
“Thanks.” she said as she popped another piece of gum in her mouth and cheerily led him to the meeting room. He sat down in a chair and she quickly plopped into his lap.
Looking around embarrassedly he said under his breath, “Tawny, this isn’t normally the place for sitting in someone’s lap. That hasn’t been done since Snape sat on Voldemort’s knee one Christmas ten years back.” he joked.
“Ah, well they will get over it.” she said as she ran her fingers through his blond locks and whispered things into his ear that made it quite hard to concentrate on what his father was about to say.
“Please get off.” he pleaded.
“Make me.” she challenged. Then leaned back with the mischievous look in her eye. “But of course you know you can’t get me off your lap and you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of your little mask wearing friends. So, I guess you’re going to have to live with it.”
Lucius cleared his throat and tried to get over the distraction sitting in his son’s lap. “Ok, well, uh,” he stammered before finally stating, “Well, it seems that all the aurors that left to defend the Americans are back in England again.” he looked over to Tawny and asked, “Will you please get out of Draco’s lap?”
Smiling back at him she blew a bubble and said, “Make me.”
He pointedly ignored her and went back to talking, “I think it is time we began our next phase to takeover the world...” He stopped for a minute when he heard giggling.
Tawny pointed at him and said, “hehe, You’re so cute when you’re planning on world domination.” Turning to Draco she asked, “What ever happened to your mom?”
“She died in the last war.” he answered.
“Well, why didn’t anyone snatch up that big hunk of man meat? He’s so cute.” Looking over the crowd she turned to Lucius and asked in the middle of the meeting, “So, I’ve been wondering, during Halloween, have you ever dressed like Harry Potter to go trick or treating?”
“What?” Lucius asked confusedly. “NO. Now back to the issue at hand...”
“Oh, yeah, the whole taking over the world thing. Go ahead.”
“As I was saying, we need to make a move to take over Gringott’s first. If we take out the financial center first, the light wizard world will be paralyzed.”
“Oh yeah. Because their magic is ties so closely to their money!” Tawny said as she giggled in Draco’s lap and began tickling him. “Come on, Lucy, get creative. If you want to stop the light side, take out their hope.”
“And how do you suggest that?” he challenged.
“Get rid of Harry Potter.” she paused and put her fingers to her chin in thought, “Oh, wait... I see, you’ve already tried that before and it didn’t work. I’m sorry I forgot.” she teased. “Ok, go ahead.”
“Nevermind!” he finally said as he stormed out, “Meeting dismissed, All of you just await your orders!”
That night Tawny woke Draco. “Where is your dad?”
“Asleep in his room.”
“Well, duh! Which one is his room?” she clarified.
“It’s the one three doors down and to the left.” he answered.
“Ok.” she got up and opened the door. Then ran down the hall, knocked on his door and ran back into their room and waited.
Lucius’ voice carried down the hall, “Who is it? Who’s there?”
When nobody answered he closed the door. Tawny waited for a few minutes then ran back to his door and knocked and ran back into their room giggling. Draco simply laid on his side watching and trying not to laugh. Her antics were fun to watch when they weren’t aimed at him. He heard Lucius answer the door once again and then close the door. Tawny conjured a large garbage can and filled it with water. Draco could not help himself. He got up and watched what she was doing. She carried the can of water to Lucius’ door and propped it against the wood frame at an angle. She knocked and ran for the room. This time they could tell that Lucius flung the door open in anger. The can full of water fell at his feet getting him drenched from the knees down.
“Argghhhh!!!!” he yelled. “I’m going to kill whoever did this!” and he stormed down the stairs to the kitchen to calm down. Giggling again Draco rolled his eyes when she asked for some coins. He gave them to her and she snuck over to Lucius’ door and jammed the penny sized coins into the door frame, making it impossible to open. An hour later Lucius tried to open the door but it was stuck. Shaking and rattling it he finally came down to Draco’s room. “Uh, son? Can you help me to my room?”
“Yeah, father it’s just right down the hall.” he said with a straight face.
“No, I mean, can you help me get into my room the door’s stuck.”
“Well just use your wand.” Draco stated the obvious.
“I can’t. It’s in my room.”
“Ok, but this is the last time.” Draco said as he struggled to keep from laughing. He walked into the hall and pointed his wand at the door. The coins came flying out and into his hand. “There you go.” Lucius sleepily opened the door and walked to his bed. Draco returned to his room and had to cast a silencing charm on the door to keep his laughter from being heard throughout the hall.
The next morning after some ‘good morning’ sex Tawny popped down to the kitchen and gathered some breakfast. Lucius was the next up and he sat down at the table.
Tawny looked to him and asked, “Rough night?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Lucius stated.
“Ohh, It’s that problem. Here ya go.” she said and handed him a bowl full of brown cereal. “It’s got tons of fiber, so it will hopefully” she said and crossed her fingers, “get rid of any of those unspeakable problems that guys have when they get, ya know, backed up!”
Lucius looked at the cereal and then to Tawny and shook his head, “No, it’s not that...”
“Ah, no need to say anything else. It’s guy problems right. You couldn’t get it up last night?”
“No. It’s not that.” Lucius cleared it up, “I had someone playing pranks on me last night.”
“Oh,” she said as she bit into an apple. Through a full mouth she asked, “So, why didn’t Draco have any brothers or sisters?”
“Huh?” Lucius asked dazedly. “Why are you asking?”
“Cause I was just wondering if Draco’s mom was just your beard or something.” she stated casually. “Cause if you are, you know, gay, I’m cool with that.”
“I’m not gay.” he stated.
“Right. Sure you’re not.” Tawny said knowingly. “Don’t worry, it’s our little secret.” she gave him a wink.
“I’m not! I promise, I’m not gay!” he said a little too loudly as people began filing in the kitchen. He put his head to the table and just pleaded, “Please, just leave me alone!!!”
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