There’s something going on between Sandy and Evans. It’s like they’re—Merlin forbid—FRIENDS, or something of the like. It’s kinda creepy, actually. Sirius has been acting weird, too…
Oh! About the GMBFTOSHMM! We’ve got the perfect plan. It involves three well-paid skanks, Sandy, and—you guessed it!—Sirius…
“Hey, Siri, baby,” Leena Prewitt said, twirling her curly brown hair around her index finger. Her cronies, Serena Prince and Queena Plick, were standing behind her.
Sirius whipped around and straddled the bench to see who was talking to him. James, Remus, and Peter snorted into their goblets.
“Uh, hey, Leena.”
“How ya doin’, honey?”
“Spiffy—yeah—just spiffy.” He gulped. Leena had never shown an interest in him before and he definitely didn’t like her style.
Leena cracked some Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum. Her posse followed suit. “So, doll, ya doin’ anything next Sat’rday?”
That’s when I entered.
And Sirius gave me the look.
In the period of two short seconds, I knew exactly what Sirius wanted. I had seen him and Mads pull this stunt several times in fourth year. He’d done it with Lynn all fifth and Kim in sixth. He even did it with Lily once, put that didn’t go over too well with James and Sirius never attempted it again.
Yes, I knew exactly what he wanted. Being the only single female friend of his in the vicinity, I silently agreed to go along with his request.
“Actually, I am busy next Saturday,” I heard him say.
“Whatcha’ doin’ then, hon?” She cracked another bubble. Bitch.
I reached Sirius.
He looked at me and smiled. “’ello, poppet.”
“Mornin’ love,” I said. I slid onto the bench beside him.
He put an arm around my waist and kissed me. I put one hand in his hair and ran my other down the scar on his back that was covered by his Denmark Dragons t-shirt.
Leena, Serena, and Queena glared at us.
“Whuzgoinon?” I whispered against Sirius’s soft lips.
He leaned into my ear seductively. “Play along,” he whispered. “I don’t like Leena.” He nipped at my earlobe gently.
I let out a contented—AND UNWANTED—purr, courtesy of my Animagus form.
He chuckled softly and looked at the girls. “Sorry, but Sandy and I have unfinished business to attend to.”
“Ohmimerlin! Perks and Black! But—I thought you hated each other!” Queena screeched.
Oh, blast! Queena is the Gossip Queen of Hogwarts! It’ll be around the whole bloody school before I so much as pull out of Sirius’s arms!
“Sod off!” Sirius and I growled. We ignored the other Marauders who were howling with laughter.
“Hurt my sister, Black,” Remus managed to choke out “and I’ll find you a werewolf for company the next full moon!”
The Army of Skanks left in a huff.
“Thanks a lot, Sandy,” Sirius said, turning back around to eat his now-cold porridge.
“Oh, posh, Sirius, it was nothing.” I waved a hand at him and helped myself to some of his frigid mush.
He glared mockingly at me. “Footsie…”
“Pads…” I mocked.
He tickled my sides and I flung porridge in his face in return. He glared at me again. Oh, great. This bad, very bad…
Porridge is on my pj shirt.
He is SO dead.
“Food fight!” James yelled.
And now there’s eggs in my hair.
Prongs has a whole ‘nuther thing comin’!
FYI, this the Marauder/ Weird Sister pajama day; we do it Saturday. Of course, this gave Mads permission to flounce around like a slut in a skimpy negligee. I wore a long pj shirt that said “Chick with wand.” And it had a little chick with a black witch’s hat on and held a wand in its wing. I had on blue flannel pj pants underneath it. Lynn wore a simple nightgown and Kim had on a neon orange tank top and bright blue shorts.
“All right, Lily! There he is! Now go!” I urged, pushing her forward.
“No, no, no, no, no! It’s just so—bitchy!”
“Do you want James?”
“Then get your fat bum over there!”
“My bum is fat?!”
We glared at her.
“All right! I’m goin’! I’m goin’! Mental tyrants…” she muttered as she walked off.
“I HEARD THAT!”
“Keep it down, Sirius!” I yell-whispered.
“Like James is ACTAULLY going to hear us?! With that saliva exchange going on, he can’t even hear a howler from his mum! And trust me, that’s scary!”
James and Emmeline were making out in our some-what deserted corridor. And Lily as making her way up to the snogging couple. Suddenly, she threw Emmeline off James. The girl stumbled backwards.
Swiftly, Lily kissed James with so much exceeding passion that I turned away and Sirius attempted to gag and giggle at the same time.
“Thanks for last night, James. I had the time of my life,” Lily said seductively and walked off.
James just goggled at her retreating back.
“Three…two…one…” Sirius and I counted.
“LILY DESDEMONA EVANS!” James roared and sprinted down the corridor after her.
“Blast!” I cursed. “How are we going to listen in now?!”
“With these,” Sirius aid slyly and produced the Marauder’s Map and Invisibility Cloak with a flourish.
“I lurve you,” I sighed and kissed him on the cheek.
We slipped under James’s cloak and scampered after our escaping friends.
“When do you want to stage our break up?”
“Oh. Right. I totally forgot we were going out… How about Monday at breakfast? We have to last at least a couple days.”
“Whatever’s good for you works for me.”
We fell into a comfortable silence and finally reached the Heads’ Dorm. Putting our ears to the portrait, we tuned in.
“…bloody hell was that for, Evans?! You’ve just ruined Emmeline and me! I thought she was your best friend?!”
Lily laughed cryptically at this. “That fat-arse cow? Ha! SHE went out with the guy she KNEW I like, just to spite me!”
“The—the guy you liked?” James stuttered.
Lily gulped nervously.
“Why didn’t you TELL me?!” James exclaimed.
“Well, how would you feel if you suddenly fell for your worst enemy?” Lily snapped.
“Then I would question my sexual preferences and ask Dumbledore for a few lemon drops.”
Lily giggled. Sirius and I were shaking from silent fits of laughter. We knew he was talking about Snape.
“I got you to laugh at something I said! I—you—wow!” He ruffled his hair. (How did we know? James is ALWAYS messing with is hair!)
Lily’s tinkling laugh filled the room again.
We heard footsteps cross the floor.
James chuckled. “Lily, that’s my hair. THESE are my lips.”
Then, there was silence.
I started jumping up and down, screaming and flapping my hands wildly. Sirius began mocking me, but I didn’t care.
“I have never enjoyed venting my emotions in that manner, but it seems to work quite well for the two of you. If you cold just hop on over to the left, I would be much obliged,” said Dumbledore, grinning at the two of us, his blue eyes twinkling.
Sirius and I froze and stared at the headmaster, mouths gaping.
“Ah, are you asking for a lemon drop? I do believe I only have three left, which would suit our predicament perfectly. Ah! Her we are.” He had been going through his abnormally large robe pocket. Two Cockroach Clusters and an Acid Pop lay on the ground. Sirius bent to pick them up.
“Here are two lemon drops, Miss Perks. If you would be so kind as to give one to Mr. Black when he surfaces, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, sir,” he said, extracting the odd candies from Sirius’s hands and gliding into the Heads’ Common Room.
Sirius and I glanced at each other and then threw ourselves back against the portrait of the white stag (white for lilies, stage for James’s Animagus form).
“…seem to be enjoying yourselves, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter,” we heard Dumbledore saying. “Of course, this means I must give Minerva her winnings. It was my assumption that you two would have been dating last Hogsmeade weekend. Minerva did not pick a time, however, but the circumstances instead. I must say, you two chose well when finding friends in Miss Perks and Mr. Black.”
James cleared his throat. “Erm, sir?”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you here?”
“I was wondering if I might use your toilet. The nearest loo is on the firth floor, and I’m afraid my bladder does not desire to be stalled any longer.”
“Thank you. I will only be a few minutes.”
“Oh, no trouble,” Lily called as Dumbledore trooped up the steps to the rather large restroom.
Lily and James began whispering. Then it was silent. We jammed our ears harder against the portrait. Suddenly, it gave way and Sirius and I fell through into the common room. The portrait swung shut behind us.
Sirius landed on top of me, both of our backs pointing toward the ceiling. Lily and James were rolling on the floor, laughing crazily. We both glared at them. Sirius spit a strand of hair out of his mouth and stood. He stuck out his hand and helped me up. I stooped to grab my eye patch which had fallen off.
Flicking James and Lily the bird, I stomped over to a mirror on the other side of the room and began fixing my patch.
“That’s a nasty scar you’ve got there, lass,” the mirror said.
“I know, right?” I bitched, trying to hide the straps under my long hair.
“You have a bump, dear. On the left. No, no, lass, MY left.”
“SHUT UP!” Sirius and I roared. I was fuming at the mirror and Sirius was yelling at our “friends”.
“I caught the hint. Fine,” the mirror grumbled and closed its yap.
I finished my hair to my fancy and walked over to Sirius to help him yell at our still-hysterical “friends”.
“WE got you two together! You all owe us!” he screamed, red in the face.
This only made Lily and James laugh harder.
Sirius let out a string of the most profane language I had ever heard.
“If you would be so kind as to spare an old man’s ears, Mr. Black, I would be indebted.” Dumbledore had returned.
Dumbledore turned to Lily and James. “Thank you. I will see you at the feast tonight.” He exited with the twinkle in his eyes winking at Sirius and me.
“Feast?” Sirius and I said.
“Hello? It’s Halloween!” Lily said, waving a hand in front of our faces.
“Right,” I said.
“We knew that!” Sirius reassured them.
“SURE you did,” said James with a roll of his eyes.
Halloween. It had been over a year since I last saw Father. That was a very bad sign. I was scared out of my wits as I went down to dinner an hour early; I had homework I wanted to do and the Great Hall was always quiet at this time.
Trying to get my mind off Father, I let my thoughts travel to Lily and James. He STILL hadn’t asked her out and they had snogged over three hours ago! That’s a record for him, I must say.
I finally finished my Transfiguration essay right when students began trooping down the stairs and into the Great Hall. I stuff my book and essay into my bag and waited for the Marauders, the Weird Sisters, and Lily.
The groups and Lily finally arrived. Sirius sat on one of my sides, James beside him. Lily sat across from James and next to Peter. Mads—against her will—took the seat by Peter, across from me. The seat on my other side was saved for Remus, who—according to James—was “not finishing a prank”, which meant he most certainly was.
Sirius’s stomach grumbled loudly.
“Hungry, Pads?” I asked, grinning.
He flashed his killer smile at me. Hasn’t he learned yet that that doesn’t get to me?
“You betcha, Footsie!”
That’s when the scar on my eye began to bleed.
I let out a yelp of pain and surprise. The pain grew. I ripped off my eye patch.
“Footsie?” Sirius asked, concerned. “Are you—Merlin! You eye!”
His exclamation alerted the rest of our group.
“Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Sandy, honey, you okay? Damn!” Mads said. She hopped over the table, her feet squelching in the potato dish, and sat in Remus’s seat. “Let me see it, baby. Come on!” she cooed and tried to pry my hand away from my eye.
I was crying in pain now. Sirius had his arms around my waist, trying to calm me down. I didn’t notice, as I was attempting to contact Remus through our minds.
Whenever my father is near, the scar crossing my eye starts to bleed. The agony comes next. When Father cut my eye, he had a poison on the knife he used. I alerts me. Luckily, as Remus and I are so close, we can communicate telepathically when I’m in trouble. It takes a lot of strength, but it helps.
--and that’ll hit Snape’s head. Nex—Sandy?! What’s wrong?
I could sense Remus standing.
On my way!
I pulled my hand off my eye and broke our connection. My hand was covered in blood.
“Oh, Merlin,” Sirius moaned.
“Scourgify!” Lily shouted and my hand was clean.
“Fleetfoot?” Peter and James asked warily.
Sirius tore off a piece of his robes and lightly placed it on my eye. I nodded my thanks and his other hand pulled me closer to him. Remus burst in, rage etched into every line on his face. Sirius took one look at him and jumped back. Remy took his place.
The Ravenclaws were looking at us now. Justin, Kim, and Lynn were rushing over.
“Sandy?” Lynn asked.
“Come on, babe! Say something!” said Kim.
Justin just looked on and held him, speechless.
“Sandy, take your hand off your eye,” Remus said. He took a container out of his pocket. Essence of Murtlap.
I shook my head. “Uh-uh!”
“Sandy, you need to take your hand away and stop crying.”
“But it h—hurts!”
I tried to smile and failed miserably. Sirius, who was standing behind me now, gently pried my hand away from my eye. Lily spelled the bloody away again and Sirius kept a hold of my hand. Remy smiled softly and began applying the Murtlap to my cut.
The enormous Great Hall doors were slammed open.
And in entered my father.
Ciiffy! Please r/r! Lurve and *mwah* Believe it or not, I haven't finished chappie 9 yet, so it might be a bit. Heh heh. Dun, dun, dun...