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Infatuation: Life as a Superstar by Dracana
Chapter 12 : Dirty Regrets
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 96

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Chapter Twelve
Dirty Regrets

Hermione had been looking forward to today for quite a while now. Hogsmeade was always an enjoyable expedition, but now she welcomed it more than ever. The confusion of her life had built up slowly until she realised her mind was in turmoil - she needed this solace to help her through life without Ryan. Her sexual frustration was developing slowly until it was broad and perhaps visible to all who knew her. She desperately needed Ryan to fulfil that need.

Last night she had gone to Dumbledore, to question him upon the idea of Ryan visiting. The man’s eyes had twinkled knowingly and he had only beamed at her, offering no response but his facial expressions, until she was almost driven mad by confusion. Her infuriation had resulted in her storming out of the office in a temper, leaving Dumbledore chuckling in amusement as she walked away rather furiously.

Now, as she was brushing on the last of her make-up and reaching to comb through her thick hair, she turned to see Draco watching her with risen eyebrows. He eyed her cautiously as she confronted him.


He smirked. “You looked so absorbed in yourself there.”

Her mouth dropped open with wrath. “No I wasn’t! I was merely getting ready.”

“Who are you getting ready for, Hermione?” he grinned.

“No one, shut up! I’m getting ready to go to Hogsmeade, and I’m putting on make-up for myself, because it makes me feel good. If you’re going to be a fool, then go away and be a fool somewhere else.”

He rose his eyebrows and laughed quietly to himself. “I wasn’t meaning to insult you. I was only joking.”

“Well, don’t,” she snapped icily. She wasn’t exactly in the best mood - she needed Ryan, and she needed him now.

“Blaise told me you two talked last night.”

“What of it?”

“He seems to have the impression you think I fancy you.”

Hermione felt herself turn red. “I . . . what? No I don’t!”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“Then you heard wrong.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I doubt Blaise would lie to me.”

“Oh, just drop it, will you!” She exploded, throwing down her eyeliner and stomping over to the bed to pick up her bag and coat. “I’ve had enough of all this! What happened to us ever being just friends?”

He shrugged and turned away, walking out of the door and into the common room. “You’d better hurry up. Everyone else is waiting.”

Hermione soon found herself out in the courtyard, where the air was chill with the approach of Halloween, the wind sweeping through the trees to disturb her hair with the callousness of its fingers. She stood breathlessly with her new friends, Blaise and Draco, hugging herself against the cold that drove into her bones. She breathed rather shakily - it was Halloween soon, and already winter had taken its effect. Frost glittered upon the branches of naked trees, silver shimmers that were positively dazzling to her eyes. The gushing fountain had frozen in the midst of its dance, and Hermione found herself watching as her breath left her lips to steam as powder into the air.

They took the carriages into Hogsmeade, herself squashed up close to a horny Blaise Zabini, her leg pressing against his so that she could feel the warmth he radiated. He lifted an arm in offering and she found herself accepting, falling into his embrace so that she was snug against him, sharing his warmth. Draco eyed them both with steely narrowed eyes that almost echoed his jealousy, but Blaise didn’t care, and so neither did Hermione.

She had been thinking deeply of late. She had a double bed at Hogwarts, and a boyfriend who was far away and not on the best of terms with her. Perhaps finding someone to share the warmth of that spacious bed wasn’t such a sin after all - in any case, it wouldn’t be starting a relationship - it would be entirely sexual. She tried to tell herself that would be ok, but then her conscience stole closer and she was forced to confront the spite of the thoughts she was thinking. She couldn’t do this to Ryan.

As the carriage jolted and shuddered down the path, Blaise leant his head against her hair, resting his eyes as they shook inside. Silence filled the small space, one that was comfortable, yet slightly icy.

“We’re here,” Draco broke it at last, getting to his feet and sliding out of the carriage. He didn’t spare them a single glance, just slammed the door behind him and hastily strode away. Blaise and Hermione exchanged glances before the youth shrugged and moved aside, helping her out of the transportation.

“Just ignore him. He’s being really weird recently.”

Hermione nodded. She had to agree, Draco was acting like a bit of an idiot, and she was starting to get fed up of it. With a sigh, she allowed Blaise to grab her hand and pull her across the square, into the small village which she loved so much.

Everything looked positively delightful. The railings of the spiked gates were enriched with a delicate layer of glimmering snow, only slight so that it looked fragile and peppered. The sun seemed almost frozen in the sky as it failed to radiate its heat - it burned pathetically, a pale yellow that was ready to give in. Hermione considered herself as that sun, and the grey of the sky the temptations closing in around her. She could have any boy she liked - they were ripe for the picking, and that image swallowed her up in fear and desperation to struggle free and resist. Yet Blaise’s hand that was warm in hers constantly reminded her of the pleasure he could bring, and each time the thought struck her mind she almost screamed aloud to escape from it.

“Where d’you wanna go?” he asked carelessly, glancing around him, honey eyes staining her sight with hunger. “Honeydukes? The Three Broomsticks?” He paused. “The Hog’s Head?”

“I need to stock up on stationary - you know, quills and such,” Hermione informed him, thinking of how much she’d like a new set of inks to write her homework in.

Blaise rolled his eyes. “Boring.”

“And I need to buy some confectionary for Ron. I think it’s about time I made it up with him, despite the fact that I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Ignore the crazy fuck,” Blaise advised her airily. “He’s a waste of space if he’s treating you like shit.”

Hermione glared at him sternly, her voice becoming insistent. “He was once a good friend. I want things to heal over, and if that means making a peace offering, then I’m going to do it. I feel so bad, even though it’s not my fault, and the fact that he still hasn’t got a girlfriend and -”

“ - Yeah, yeah, rub it in,” Blaise snapped sharply.


“I’m single too, remember?”

“Oh,” she glanced at him dreamily. “Of course you are . . .

His expression widened with confusion at her daze, but she didn’t let him ponder for long, springing forward and releasing the entwine of her fingers from his. She headed quickly towards Honeydukes, once inside finding the shop impossibly crowded. Blaise came up behind her so that she could feel his body pressed up against hers; a tingling sensation walked her spine.

Don’t even think about it, she counselled herself wisely, if not a little desperately.

She found a selection of sweets that she paid for as quickly as possible before hurrying out of the shop, the cold coming as a relief as she inhaled the cold air in and out of her lungs.

“Phew,” she sighed heavily. “That was busy.”

“It’s food,” Blaise grinned wickedly. “All the greedy bastards go there first.”

“You didn’t buy anything?”

Blaise shrugged innocently and pulled a packet of sherbet out of his pocket. “No. But I’ve become quite an over-achiever at stealing things.”

She pushed him back hard in the stomach until he almost sprawled over and started laughing.

“You’re so foolish!”

He chuckled wonderfully. “And yet so much fun. Come on, lets go and see what else we can find in this quill shop of yours.”

“Blaise,” she snapped seriously, “we are not stealing anything. If you can’t control yourself, then wait out here whilst I go in. I don’t want to be involved with a criminal.”

“Fine,” he shrugged, still laughing as she disappeared inside. When she came back with her newly selected inks and quills he was sitting on the floor, smoking.

“Why do you do that?” she enquired, pulling him to his feet and eyeing him darkly. “It gives you cancer.”

He shrugged despondently. “So what? We’re all gonna die anyway.”

Scowling, Hermione walked away across the cobbled paving.

“Where are we going?” he called after her.

“To the Three Broomsticks.”

“What wrong with the Hog’s Head?”

“It’s dirty in there.”

“It’s quieter. We can go through some homework or something.”

She spun around to look at him, her hair spiralling. “I’ve done all my homework.”

“Yeah, well . . . It will be more peaceful, all the same.”

She knew he just wanted her to himself. She should have refused instantly, yet doubts crept through her mind as the afternoon drew onwards, and finally, after some more shopping and a trip to the Shrieking Shack, when the sky had faded to the darkened blue of evening, she agreed to his constant moaning and followed him inside.

Blaise was right - the Hog’s Head was pretty much empty. A couple of suspicious looking wizards crouched over firewhiskeys in dim corners and a grimy barmaid sung to herself as she cleaned dusty glasses behind the bar. When they entered, eyes flickered towards them briefly before losing interest and drifting back to their brooding. Blaise narrowed his eyes and gripped her hand again, leading her forward to a table in the far corner, out of sight from everyone else.

“What do you want?”

“A butterbeer, of course.”

He smirked. “Not a firewhiskey?”

“Getting me drunk isn’t going to make me want to have sex with you.”

He laughed and shrugged, turning on his heal to march over to the bar. She watched his snaking hips as he went, much the same as Ryan’s, yet perhaps not so slender. Her eyes took note as Blaise leaned casually on the bar, winking at the gritty barmaid who passed him a dark look. He whispered something into her ear and a smile lit the woman’s face. She turned to grab two glasses and handed them over. Blaise blew her a kiss and came back to the table with a grin.

“What did you just say to her?” Hermione demanded immediately as he sat down and passed her a butterbeer.

Blaise chuckled. “I just had to flirt a bit to get her to give me alcohol.” He noticed her jealous pout. “My god Hermione, you’re not jealous, are you?”

“Don’t be so ridiculous!”

“’Cause you know you’re always gonna be my number one girl, right?”

She watched him for any sign of sarcasm, but there was none. Frowning, she sipped her drink to make up for the pause, and Blaise dropped his eyes to his firewhiskey, which he bolted back quickly before calling for another, another, and then once again another.

“You know that if you get drunk you’re going to be in serious trouble when you get back?”

He shrugged. “Hardly. I’ll just crash on your couch. Or in your bed.”

“For goodness sake, Blaise, how many times have I told you - no! I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“What difference does that make?”

“It means that I’m off-limits. I don’t care about you, but I’m faithful to Ryan.”

“Yeah, right,” he snickered rather rudely, dipping his head again and avoiding her face. “That’s not what Draco told me.”

What did he tell you, exactly?” Hermione asked, her face turning red with humiliation and dread.

“I hardly think you need me to repeat the details of the kiss and how he could have easily had you.”

“You what?” she exclaimed, getting abruptly to her feet and sending the table shuddering. She glowered down at him. “How much more information do you boys share? Is this some kind of competition or something, as to who can have me first? I’m not a piece of property, Blaise! I’m not some kind of trophy!”

“I know you’re not,” he assured her, standing up and grabbing hold of her hands, looking into her eyes imploringly. “You’re a girl . . . A fucking beautiful, hot girl if you ask me, but all the same, you’re a person, and I respect you. I’m not about to go flaunting to anyone and everyone about stuff like that - not that you’d ever touch me - but still, Draco’s only told me. He just likes to show off, to brag, you know? It’s a guy thing.”

“I don’t appreciate my giving-in to him being flaunted to everyone else in the school!” she protested vehemently.

“Like I said, Herm, it was only me - and I won’t tell a soul. I know you must feel really angry, I mean - it wasn’t fair of him and -”

“What did you just call me?” she breathed out as if in a trance.

Blaise frowned. “Huh?”

“You called me Herm . . .”

“So . . .? Sorry, don’t you like it?”

“It’s what Ryan calls me.”


She watched him with soft, melting eyes. Come to think of it, Blaise was a bit like Ryan. Oh, who was she kidding? He wasn’t anything like him - Blaise’s eyes were more fierce than Ryan’s gorgeously soft chocolate ones, and his hair was a golden-brown instead of darkened. So why did she feel a sudden flare when Blaise said that nick-name? Because that was the term Ryan used as affection, and Ryan meant love and sex.

Blaise’s breath smelt of alcohol and smoke, but he was male, and he had called her “Herm”. Hermione stepped forwards, closing the distance between them until Blaise looked confused. She took a breath and dove in for those lips that were inquisitive, pressing her own firmly against them and kissing hard.

Blaise stood and let her kiss him for a while, then, when he knew she was sure, he slipped his arms about her waist and pulled her closer towards him. He returned the kiss with fierce intensity, so that Hermione felt a shudder of delight shiver all over her, like sharp jolts of electricity that set her heart to a racing throb and her mind to pressure for more and more. She drew away suddenly, the kiss melting the warmth between the couple so that she could look up at Blaise with a twisted little smile of uncertainty.

“Let’s get out of here.”

He nodded quickly and grabbed her hand, leading her hastily out of the pub and through the door.

Out here, the air was clear and cold, the stars sprinkled as pepper across the black sky. The empty streets seemed icy compared to the warmth of inside. Blaise, his breath clouding the air, headed towards the darkened ally, pulling her through after him, kissing her firmly again and turning her around so that she was pressed up against the wall.

Hermione’s lips connected with his again, a kiss that grew more deep with passion, before relenting once again to a rough tackle that left her breathing sharply. Blaise’s hands slid over her waist and to her thigh, moving upwards and squeezing hard so that she moaned softly as he moved his mouth down to suck on her neck.

“Oh my god,” she whispered with pleasure as his lips graced her collarbone. “I shouldn’t be doing this, I shouldn’t . . .”

“Fuck it,” breathed Blaise sharply, moving his lips back to hover over hers. “I don’t care anymore. I have to have you, even if it’s just once.”

She nodded, kissing him sternly. “Don’t speak - don’t spoil it.”

He nodded and slid his tongue over hers, caressing deeply. She felt his hands slide under her skirt, her own body moving to bring her arms about his neck and allow him to lift her up to make it easier. She wrapped her legs firmly about his waist and gasped as a sudden shock of pleasure swept over her to leave her sweating and moaning as his breath came fast and thick against her neck.


Blaise pushed the door of the private common room open, dragging her inside, and she followed with a smile lighting her lips. She wished he would kiss her again, would make love to her again, and she felt the thrill of excitement move through her as he spun and pulled her towards the sofa. She paused as he sat down and glanced up at her expectantly, his hands still in hers.

Suddenly there were footsteps on the stairs, killing the mood, and Hermione dropped Blaise’s hands sharply and took a quick step back, watching as the shadow moved, knowing that it would be Draco coming down to see what all the noise was about. They couldn’t be caught out. No one else could ever know.

So it was a surprise when that pleasure in her stomach was replaced for the ice of guilt, when her face that was smiling froze and blanched white, when Blaise opened his mouth to ask incredulously, “Who the hell are you?”

Hermione watched Ryan grinning back at her in the doorway, his arms spread out wide.

“Herm,” he exclaimed brightly, stepping towards her, crossing the room to pull her into a firm hug and kiss her tenderly. Those lips that she had so long desired to feel now spread dread to her blood. “I’ve come at last. I spoke to your headmaster and he agreed to me staying for a couple of days.” He drew back to smile down at her excitedly. “I’ve missed you so much . . .Well? Aren‘t you going to say hello?”

Author’s Note: Eeeek!! Hermione’s BAD!! So, did you hate it? More will be explained about how on earth Ryan got to Hogwarts in the first place, don’t worry - I’m not completely delirious. This chapter was mainly for sweetie_face14, who seems to like the idea of Hermione and Blaise, or just reading about sex in general, lol. Please, if you have read, review - it doesn’t take that long - probably like less than thirty seconds, and compare that to how long it took me to write this. Please, review? All of my reviewers so far, by-the-way, you know who you are - I love you all!! *hugs* Happy Valentine’s day everyone!!

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