Chapter 10 : It's all Professor Binnss Fault if You Look at it Technically
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Disclaimer& Author’s note: So, I had a little, tiny, microscopic writer’s block. Terribly sorry for the wait and everything:] but it’s here now and it won’t (hopefully) happen again. I own nothing. Seriously, it’s all J.K Rowling. She’s a genius. ^-^
“We are deeply saddened to inform you of the death of one your beloved Professors…”
“Beloved Professor? Puh-lease,” Sirius sneered.
“Shut-Up.” I muttered, “We didn’t know him long enough, we don’t know if he was beloved.”
“We’re talking about the same Professor that died, right? Professor Binns, call him if you want a good nap?” Sirius asked.
“Sirius, He died. Can’t you fake sympathy?” I asked annoyed.
“No. Teely, he’s not even gone. He’s a freaking ghost!” Sirius whispered.
“Will you two please shut the annoyances more commonly know as your lips?” Lily hissed, “Professor Dumbledore is trying to tell the others students about Professor’s Binns’ death.”
“But he’s not GONE!” Sirius hissed.
“But he’ll never be able to experience eating, or walking, or feeling, or…” Lily began.
“Living is so overrated anyways. Who needs breathing? I don’t.” Sirius stated.
“Or Love.” Lily finished, glaring at Sirius.
“Love involves touching people. I don’t think you could handle that.” Sirius joked.
Obviously Lily didn’t take for a joke.
You know those times in life when you think everything goes in slow motion. This is one of those times:
She slapped him over his head causing him to go backwards off the Great Hall bench, and she lost her balance standing over the table, and fell over the table on top of him. But as she was falling she grabbed the closet thing to her, which happened to be Remus, who grabbed James, who grabbed Mark, who grabbed a Cecil Abrams: Bully to the Max.
They went like dominoes falling on top of each other.
Poor, poor, Sirius at the bottom of it all.
Now, you must understand where I’m coming from. For once in my life I wasn’t in the embarrassing moment that would be remembered for the rest of the year. I wasn’t one of the stupid first year Gryffindors who caused a scene at Professor’s Binns “Funeral.”
So I laughed, along with the whole Great Hall, excluding the teachers of course but I could’ve sworn I saw Professor McGonagall smiled.
“What the hell is going on?” Professor Dumbledore said in the midst of it all.
Every other member of the Great Hall, with the exception of the first years, all did a choral, “Oooooohh.”
My guess is that Professor Dumbledore never cursed before.
I’m a genius, I know.
“Exactly what I want to know,” Max growled, glaring at Mark who pulled him into this: literally.
Max Cornell is a person who you’ll never want to cross in your life because if you do, you’ll die. Max is a sixteen year old first year at Hogwarts; he’s been failing the first year ever since he came to Hogwarts when he was eleven. The teachers say he doesn’t, “Apply himself.” The Head boy and Head Girl say, “He’s not motivated.” But fifth year, major hottie with a body, Frank Longbottom says, “He’s just plain stupid.”
Because of his stupidity, Max has a short temper. He’s a candle burning at both ends. He steals your homework, and your Hogsmeade money. He’s a master of making you feel like the lowest person of Earth, and can manipulate anyone to anything. It’s rumoured that one time he asked Kathy Sweeter for her homework and she said no. She was never seen again. The teachers don’t like to talk about it; it tugs on their heartstrings.
If you cross Max’s path, you’ll get beat up. He doesn’t like anyone touching him, breathing on or within five feet of him, and he despises when people try to be his friend. So you can only imagine the look of pure hatred Max had on his grotesque face when he found himself on the ground thanks to Mark.
If it was any other person, I would feel sorry for them. But it’s Mark, and I don’t.
“It…It…It…was him.” Mark stuttered, backing away from Max and pointing to James.
James’ eyes went as round as golf balls as he pointed to Remus.
Remus gulped, and pointed to Lily.
Lily pointed to Sirius.
Max expected him to point to someone else, but when he didn’t he stepped within grabbing distance of Sirius.
Sirius smiled, awkwardly. “Umm…if you…if you…wanted….if you…if wanted…technical….it …if you technical...wanted….if you wanted to get technical if was …..Professor Binns’ fault for dying.” Sirius stuttered.
Max cracked his knuckles. “You can’t beat up a dead guy though.”
“Why…what….so…it….Mark did pull you.” Sirius raced out trying to save his pretty face.
I mean his face.
Which is not pretty?
Definitely not pretty, or good to stare at.
Then, if things couldn’t get any weirder Lily started to laugh hysterically, and had to clutch her sides.
The whole Great Hall was silent, and I was kind of embarrassed for being her friend.
“Lily…why are you laughing?” I hissed.
She stopped and started gasping for breath, “Because….because….Sirius said…he said…living is overrated…and he’s right in this case because it gets you beaten up!” she explained through random bursts of giggles.
James smiled, and Sirius looked like he could kill Lily.
“Well if no one minds, I have a kid to beat up now,” Max said, doing a little chuckle.
I closed my eyes partly because I didn’t want to see Sirius gets his insides turned outside but I didn’t hear anyone in excruciating pain.
What a disappointment.
I mean relief.
I opened my eyes and saw….get this…saw Lily and Sirius, my friends, congratulating James and Max on the floor?
My team was congratulating the enemy?
And then my friends, it gets worse.
Lily and James kissed.
“What the heck was that?”
Okay maybe I was freaking out a little.
But my best friend kissed one of my worst enemies one hour and fifteen minutes ago.
It’s a big deal.
“It’s….love!” Lily sighed.
“It’s not love, it’s disgusting. You’re eleven. You’re my best friend. You’re going out with my worst enemy! There’s a war going on,” I yelled.
“A war over what?” Lily snapped suddenly. “What exactly started this? It was one meaningless joke. You blew it up into such a big deal, when it’s not.” Lily continued.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“To umm…call a cease fire? Teely, it would be so much easier on my love life.” Lily stated.
“So it’s all about you and everything I think is stupid?” I questioned dryly.
“I didn’t say that!” Lily argued.
“Not directly, but you were implying it.” I hissed, “Just go off with your boyfriend, I don’t want to see your face.”
As Lily stomped off, Sirius stomped in.
“She’s right about James you know. He isn’t all that bad.” Sirius began.
I can’t believe this is happening. James Potter stole my friends. That fiend.
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