Chapter 4 : Bathtime = (
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Now that Lily and Harry were in the bathroom and Harry was sitting expressionless in the tub as his mother washed his tiny bit of hair - already looking like his father's - with shampoo.
'Why would you use poo to get clean?' Harry thought. 'And what's the sham that makes it?'
Harry didn't even like the bubbles. He used to, until he first saw his mother "pull the plug" and they all made the water disappear and then vanished. Now he just hoped the bubbles wouldn't make him disappear.
"Alright, Harry, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Lily asked.
'No it wasn't, it was terrible!' "Mummy!" Harry called to her, arms flaying, asking for a hug.
"Just a minute, silly. You're soaking wet! Let's get you dried off first."
'Drying off isn't so bad,' Harry thought as his mother attacked him with a towel, every once in a while tickling his nose or tummy with it, making him laugh.
"There's that pretty smile!" Lily said beaming down at her son as she engulfed him in a loving hug and kissed his nose. "Now don't you move, you hear me?" she asked tenderly.
Lily sat Harry down and stood up from the sitting position in which she was drying Harry to get his clean clothes off the sink counter. "Now where's that diaper?"
Harry saw the bathroom door silently push open and a large, black, shaggy dog tip-toe into the room without Lily noticing.
"What's that, sweetie?" Lily asked. She turned around in time to see Sirius make a leap into the still-full tub sending an enormous wave over the entire bathroom. "AHH!"
Harry laughed as his mother screamed.
"Lily! What is it?!" James, now butter-free, came running into the room to find out what was wrong, but, not realizing the bathroom floor was flooded, took one step on it and fell flat on his back causing Harry to only laugh harder.
'Silly Daddy,' he thought. 'You can't go so fast on the wet floor!'
"THAT!" Lily said in a hard voice, pointing to what used to be a dog and was now a man getting out of the nearly empty tub.
"Ouch," was James's only reply.
"Well Harry liked it," Sirius defended himself, indicating the giggling baby.
Lily didn't find that as funny as Sirius hoped she would. "Sirius Orion Black, you mark my words, you will pay for this!" she growled at him.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed. He slyly added, "But not right now." and grabbed Harry off the floor, holding him out like a shield.
"GIVE ME BACK MY BABY, YOU PIECE OF ****!!"
James, now recovering from being winded, stared blankly at his wife who, apparently until now, loathed cuss words of any degree.
"Um, once you calm down," Sirius said in an obvious voice. In one swift motion, he pivoted and leapt from the bathroom to avoid the wet floor.
He landed on James's hand and kept running.
"GET BACK HERE!" Lily ran after Sirius, not even paying the slightest attention to poor James as she ran over him, her foot making contact with his chest.
"Ouff!" came out of James's mouth as he was winded for a second time.
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by Nessa Elendil