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Shadow of a Doubt by slytheringinny
Chapter 7 : Chapter VII - Blind Deception
 
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Chapter VII - Blind Deception




"Yes, Tom. You l-love me, don't you remember?"

"N-No, I'm afraid I don't!"

"Tom. I'm pregnant."


Merope watched the handsome muggle boy's face take in the surprise. A bubble of hope swelled in her already slightly swelling stomach, and formed a smooth outer layer of happiness overtop. She didn't want the bubble to burst. She didn't. Would Tom? His eyes, had shown the most complex amount of emotions that Merope couldn't even decipher. Anger, confusion, deception, and above all, those beautiful sparkly eyes were set in stone cold hatred. Merope felt the bubble go down and her eyes widened.

"W-Who are you? Who the bloody hell are you and what have you done to me?!" WHAM! A chair fell, clattering to the floor and making Merope herself jump out of her own. His figure was overbearing, looking down on her with such an intensity that Merope felt small...a thing she hadn't felt since her father and brother had left.

"But, but...Tom, you...y-you loved me, you still do...don't...d-don't you remember?!" The seventeen year old Gaunt's voice was shrill and etched over with fear. The happiness was gone. It would be gone for quite some time. Her fingers reached up for the prized locket she kept around her neck, running her finger over the silver 'S' inscribed in it. The cold metal made her shiver more, and she backed into a corner as Tom advanced on her, his eyes wild with confusion.

"YOU! You disgusting filth of a pureblooded child!" Her father screamed at her, backing her in, caging her like an animal.

"I...I never loved you! HELL! I don't even know who you are!"

"I'm...T-Tom - "

"You're a disgrace, a filthy disgrace!" her brother shouted, slamming the bedroom door shut, sending a picture from the rickety walls slamming to the floor with a crash.

"I don't give a shit who you are! Just what have you done to me!? Your trickery! This....this witchcraft?! You used me for your own filthy wants!" He brushed his hands down his shirt, as if they were soiled...and to him, they probably were. "I can't believe you! I had a perfect life...and just because of lust you ruined it! And you think that....your abnormalities will change?! You think that by making your life better, you won't have to deal with the consequences of making one life worse?!"

He sighed heavily, grunting in anger, and turned away, leaving Merope herself in the corner, clutching at her necklace adorning her throat. How wrong she was... how very wrong. She had thought he'd still love her, be forced  into loving her. But she was wrong. Merope Gaunt was always wrong...

"You're a child who doesn't deserve to claim the faithful heritage of Salazar Slytherin! You're filth on the bottom of our shoes! The dirt on the bottoms of our graves. Soiled in despair... you thought you'd live a cherished and lovely life, but you're wrong. You're always wrong, child! And don't you think twice about it!"

"Tom...please..." she pleaded. She just wanted to make things right again. If that was even possible. Could that be possible? How? How could she change his ways? She never loved him in the first place...never. She had forced him into it...she was truly a Gaunt, deceiving and plotting horrible plans...she had failed herself. Merope wanted anything more than to drop her name, forget who she was, and turn over a new leaf... it never happened.

"You have no right to even speak my name. I'm more...noble than that of yourself. How could I sink so low?!" his voice rised, higher, and higher...gaining confidence...she sensed he was leaving her. And, in the back of her subconscious, Merope thought that he had the right to.

She had done wrong. There was no way to fix what she had done. It was over.

"I'm leaving. And...by God be damned if you ever show your face around me again!" A snarl appeared on his handsome face, uncharacteristic and dangerous. Pounding his feet over to the door, it seemed as thought the whole house shook. He opened it, and with a snap, Tom Riddle was gone. Her love...was gone. Her prized possession, and it was all her fault. Now she was left with a life to sustain, other than her own, one to keep healthy...one to cherish. Her hand dropped from the locket and pressed against her stomach. If only she could turn back time...

Standing at the corner where she had been pushed and converged into, Merope let out a breath she wasn't aware of holding. It wasn't for relief, it wasn't in happiness, in all truth, it was a scared sigh, if that was possible, and if not, Merope had just made it so. How could she had let something so...precious to her, go away? Moreover, how could she had lived a life that was an entire lie!?

However, that had been done before. While she had gained pleasure from living a lie, a ball of guilt had pressured itself upon her, and wouldn't be prodded away. It was her subconscious that kept her up in endless, sleepless nights. It was that same subconscious that drove her mad, making her think: "Am I doing the right thing? Should I tell him the truth? Why live a lie? It's not satisfying..." making her twist and turn in the middle of the night, causing insomnia that kept Merope up for weeks upon weeks, only running on an irreplaceable lust-drive.

She shuffled her feet, making her tiresome body move across the kitchen. Her eyes looked around the room, and spotted the mug, now crashed and shattered, against the cold, wooden floor. Droplets of the potionless tea were scattered on the floor within the vicinity  of the cup, and Merope's tear ducts welled with fat tears. It had been a long time since she cried, so why start again now?

There was no reason to cry. Was there really any loss? Merope began to pick up the shards of carefully broken glass, setting them in a crease in her dress. Her brain swirled thoughts madly around her head. What was her loss? She hadn't really anything to gain in the first place other than what she needed...and as soon as that was torn away, she was back where she started. No loss....yet still she felt a pang of regret and missing what she had had. What had she had?

Nothing. She had nothing now. Nothing except the small, unborn child in her tummy...

Dumping the shards of glass out the window, Merope sighed and placed her chin in her cupped hand, elbow propped on the table.

"Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday to me..."  Merope Gaunt had so blindly, beautifully decieved.


Author's Note: Man, I'm just rolling out the chapters this weekend aren't I? =) That's two in two days!


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