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The List by Hermione_Crookshanks
Chapter 3 : National Headline
 
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 74


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The top ten reasons why the two Weasley children must die

By Hermione Jane Granger

1. Ginny

2. Ron is siding with Ginny

3. Ginny convinced her mother that Harry and I are highly interested in one another

4. Ginny's essay

5. According to Ginny (after I yelled at her for that essay in her dormitory) Ron actually helped her out while Harry and I were busy sitting…NOT CUDDLING…sitting. Apparently it was
he who told her about Luna's insane initials idea

6. It appears that Ginny wasn't the only person that Ron told about Luna's initials theory

7. Ron made up some excuse to leave at breakfast, leaving Harry and myself alone at the table, and everyone kept on giving us weird looks

8. Ginny posted her awful essay on the Gryffindor common room's message board

9. Ginny used ever-lasting glue to stick the essay to the board, and every time another paper is placed on top of the essay, it bursts into flames. I should know. My potions homework is currently in ashes.

10. And the number one reason why the Weasleys must die? My “relationship” with Harry is now a National headline.









"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."

~Anonymous








“GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY, YOU ARE DEAD!” Hermione screamed up the girls' staircase. Fuming, she raced up to the sixth year's dormitory and flung the door open, only to find Ginny sitting on her bed, staring innocently up at Hermione.

“What are you going to accuse me of now?” she asked.

“What in the name of Merlin is on the board downstairs?” Hermione demanded through gritted teeth.

“Well, I'm pretty sure there's still a Quidditch try-out announcement up there, and, of course, Filch's 500 item list of banned objects, and Hogsmeade dates, and I think— ”

“Let's try an essay by a certain someone about two people who are not in love with one another!” Hermione raged.

“Oh, that,” Ginny said dismissively. “I was just proud of it, is all. Some of my best writing yet. Couldn't help but show it off.”

“Everyone is quoting it at me,” Hermione cried out in anguish. “Take it down now, before I murder you.”

“Well, you're going to have to murder me,” Ginny said.

“Why?” Hermione asked, taken aback.

“It's pasted up there with everlasting glue,” Ginny grinned. She hopped up from her bed and gave Hermione a small pat on the shoulder. “Have a pleasant day!” And with that, Ginny raced out of sight, leaving a speechless Hermione.

“GINNY!” Hermione's voice boomed throughout the Gryffindor Tower. When Ginny didn't return, Hermione raced down the steps. Breathless and red faced, she ran straight into Harry.

“Whoa, Hermione!” Harry gasped, grabbing her by the arm to steady her. “What did Ginny do now?”

“Did you even look at the message board yet?” Hermione cried, gesturing towards the area where a group of students were whispering frantically.

“I just got up…” Harry explained.

“Look. Now.”

Harry shrugged, but did as he was told. Hermione followed in order to see his reaction, and what a reaction it was.

A moment after Harry saw the essay and his jaw had dropped open in horror, an armchair set on fire.

“Harry!” Hermione admonished as she put out the fire. “I know it's bad, but I didn't think it called for something so…so…violent.”

“Did you take a look at the thing posted next to the essay?” Harry said to Hermione, frantically pointing to the right of Ginny's elaborate thesis.

“What thing posted next…to…the…” Hermione's eyes widened as they fell upon exactly what Harry was freaking out about. Her hands rose to her chest, as if she were having a heart attack, as she soundlessly mouthed, “Oh. My. God.” For next to the essay was the Daily Prophet, with its main headline reading, “The Boy Who Lived and the Girl Who Captured His Heart.” Underneath these words was a huge picture of Hermione running towards a mud covered Harry and flinging her arms around him, followed by a peck on the cheek.

“This is ridiculous!” Hermione cried. “That picture is absolutely misleading! For Merlin's sake, a Bludger had knocked you off your broom. I was hysterical!”

“I remember, Hermione,” Harry said gruffly. “I don't think it's me that you should be telling this story to.”

“There's no one else to tell!” Hermione exclaimed. She gave a small scream of frustration, and was (partially) relieved that every one else was too caught up discussing her “relationship” with Harry to pay her one bit of attention.

Harry reached over and ripped the newspaper down from the board. “Apparently this was stuck up there at the last minute,” Harry said as he unfolded it and began to read. Hermione leaned in close to do the same.


The Boy Who Lived and the Girl Who Captured His Heart

By Lana Sandrain

All is quiet on the grounds of Hogwarts. A soft wind rustles through the trees, and beneath one particular tree sit two innocent looking teenagers. The boy stares up at the sky, while the girl engrosses herself in a book. To the normal passerby, the two would seem like your normal pair of friends. At least, that's what the two want you to believe. But take a closer look, and you will realize that there's more than meets the eye. For if your eyes travel down to the ground, there you will see their hands intertwined.

The boy is none other than Harry Potter. The girl? Hermione Jane Granger, Mr. Potter's best friend of six years, and his one true love.

“They constantly deny it,” Ginny Weasley, Mr. Potter's ex-girlfriend and current best female friend of Miss Granger, reveals. “But it's absolutely obvious. They're always cuddling, finishing one another's sentences…you know, those types of things.”

“And they're always together,” adds Parvati Patil, a fellow student at Hogwarts and close friend of Miss Granger.



“Of course we're always together!” Harry said. “We're Head Boy and Head Girl!”

“Somehow I don't think Miss Sandrain gives a damn,” Hermione muttered. “Especially since she's saying Parvati is one of my close friends. Dear Merlin. It's that Skeeter woman all over again.” Hermione shook her head in disbelief.

Harry and Hermione skimmed through the rest of the article, which included more quotes from Ginny (actually, Hermione realized, the whole article seemed to be quotes given by Ginny) and excerpts from Ginny's essay. The two finally reached the end of the article.

To the rest of the world, Harry Potter is known as the Boy Who Lived,” Harry read out in a monotone. “To Miss Hermione Granger, he is the Man She Loves.

Hermione rolled her eyes, grabbed the newspaper out of Harry's hands, walked over to the fireplace, and threw the paper into the fiery pit. “What rubbish,” she spat. She rounded on Harry. “This is all your fault, you know!”

“How is this my fault?” Harry demanded.

“If you hadn't started that ridiculous list, Ginny never would have written that essay,” Hermione growled. “And then we wouldn't be reliving fourth year all over again!”

“Actually,” came a bright voice belonging to the one person both Harry and Hermione hated beyond belief, “in fourth year, the paper attacked for cheating on Harry.”

“I WASN'T CHEATING ON HARRY!” Hermione yelled, stomping her foot so it made a loud echoing sound against the stone.

“My, aren't we mature?” Ginny taunted.

“I will kill you,” Hermione advanced on Ginny. “And I don't need a wand to do it either, you little…”

“Breathe, Hermione!” Harry cried out in alarm, grabbing Hermione and holding her back. “I know Ginny's being a complete arse, but you don't want to have to miss your N.E.W.T.s because you killed her.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Ginny. “Oh, it would be worth it, believe me.”

Ginny gave a small sigh. “You should really just get over your denial, you know.”

At this comment, Harry and Hermione both turned bright red and shouted in unison, “We're not in denial!”

Ginny raised an eyebrow at the two and then brought out her own copy of the day's newspaper. Her eyes flicked quickly to the main picture. “Could've fooled me,” she said, tossing the article so that it landed at the two's feet, face-up.

“I bet you fifty galleons that you two are a couple by Easter,” Ginny said, pursing her lips and crossing her arms.

“Deal,” Hermione snapped, wrenching her arms out of Harry's grasp. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to go speak with our Head of House about a certain unnecessary essay that must be removed.”

And with that, Hermione stormed out of the common room, leaving a smug Ginny and a very bothered Harry.


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