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The Grass Is Much Greener on the Other Side by private_ryan
Chapter 7 : Setting the Scene for Disaster
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 12

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Chapter 7: Setting the Scene for Disaster

 Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this except for my other character; Teely


 Slow down, this night's a perfect shade of: hatred, affliction, and odious thoughts. For I, James Harold Potter, have landed my arse a one way ticket to detention with McGonagall; whom from now on shall be known as the spawn of Satan. 

 She’s sitting at her desk, her big ostentatious desk. She’s humming a tune…which is dreadful by the way. It’s called music lessons, hun. She is sorting through a mess of papersl they're carelessly thrown about. Her eyes are narrow and her lips form a thin line. 

I know that's how you picture satan.

 Oh wow.

 I just called a teacher a pet name. Excuse me why I throw up in my mouth a little bit.

 “Hey, less idiotic thoughts and more scraping!” a boy with sandy blonde hair snarls at me. He’s wearing a seashell necklace too. Dude its September and we’re hundreds of miles from any beach. Get over yourself and take it off.

 Let me explain the predicament I’m in.

 It all started when I arrived at the hell hole…I mean classroom, at precisely seven o’ clock. Mister surfer to the left of me arrived at 7:01, and the spawn of Satan gave him another detention. So now mister I can wear a seashell necklace in September is mad because I might’ve chuckled upon seeing he received another detention.

 It doesn’t help that we were the only two people in detention tonight. We’re scraping gum off the bottoms of desks and frankly, I’m about to scream bloody murder.

 I’m under a desk right now that has not one, not two, not five, but fourteen pieces of gum. They’re an assortment of colours ranging from pineapple yellow, to midnight purple. So here I find myself scraping off the rainbow of gum hoping that once a piece finally comes off it will fall into the bowl provided for me, and not my face.

 If it does, I’ll scream.

 No lie.

 I began scraping again and hear the boy sigh. “What I’m scraping. Am I doing it too slow for you now? Would you like me to speed up?” I snapped, concentrating on the watermelon pink piece of dry gum, putting all my energy into thinking it was Teely’s head and wishing death upon it by my scraper. 

 “No.” he answers with a crack in his voice resembling the sound of my Great- Uncle Henry who sounds like a walrus. Heck, he looks like a walrus now that his face comes into my mind.

I chuckled.

 “Then more scraping and less thinking.” I say dryly to him, as dry as the gum of this freaking desk.

 ”I can’t.” he mumbles.

 You can’t. You can’t. Do I think to recap the story of Thomas the train engine? Heck, if Thomas can make it up the hill, I’m sure you can scrap some flipping gum off the flipping desks, so I can flip my way out of this flipping classroom.

 “Why?” is all I end up saying. I need to focus all my hate all more important things, like revenge.

 “Because there’s gum of my nose.” He replied.

 Wait for it...

 I started to snort, and then my laughter filled the room.

 “Hey, this is detention. Do I need to spell it out for you Potter? Back to work!” The spawn of flipping Satan snapped.

 I immediately shut up. But upon second reasoning, what is she doing in detention that's so important? She’s probably playing solitaire, so she has no right to tell me to shut up.

 “Yes, this is all hilarious. But do you think you GET IT OFF??” the boy muttered sarcastically.

Oh sure, McGonagall don’t yell at him for yelling.

 I crawled over to where he was laying under a desk. Sure enough, there was some banana yellow gum atop his pointy nose.

 The thoughts abominable, awful, beastly, cloying, creepy, detestable, distasteful, foul, frightful, ghastly, gross, gruesome, hateful, hideous, and  horrid filled my head.

 And yes all of those words immediately crept into mind because I, James Harold Potter, am a smart, highly intelligent being with an infallible vocabulary.

 "Ewww! I’m not touching that…that…thing.” I responded, staring at it.

 “Just do it before I kick you.” He pleaded.

 “Oh yes, because those nice words will change my mind.” I say sarcastically.

 “Why are you such an arse?” he questioned, taking his hand and removing the yellow gum before flinging it in my hair.

 I told you I would scream if gum touched me.

 I screamed.

 Let’s just say that little stuck up surfer boy and myself have two weeks more of detention.



 I love toast! The enjoyment I have when I spread butter across the top of it is similar to a child swinging on a swing for the first time.

 “Teely!” someone yelled. I turned around with my beloved toast stuff in my mouth, so that half of it was hanging out of my mouth.

 Normally I would’ve been embarrassed by quite the scene, but it was only Lily who screamed out my name. She plopped down next to me. It was obviously breakfast.

 “You have toast hanging out of your mouth, you know.” She stated before rummaging through her bag and pulling out a mirror. She held it out so I could see my face, “See?” she asked.

 Normally, this would have trigger the response, “Oh thanks, I didn’t noticed my mouth was clogged with crap.” But seeing how my mouth is clogged with crap all she heard was, “oooh thaaa, O deeden nootop mah mount wah clougg wit cra.” 

 “Sentences, Teely, Sentences.” She mumbled before taking a muffin.

 I shrugged, stuffing the remainder of my toast into my mouth along with the already soggy toast residing in my mouth.

 “HEY GIRLIES!” someone called before shoving up apart and sitting in-between us.

 I started to choke. It was….

 Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark.

“Oh Teely, love, you’re choking.” He stated to me and handed me a napkin, “Wipe your mouth it’s rather disgusting sweetie.”

 I’m choking. I don’t want a napkin thanks. I take it anyway and spit out the soggy toast into the napkin.

 I saw Lily mouth, “Germs.”

 “Get over yourself.” I responded to Lily, bits of toast flying.

 I get it, I get it: I’m a freak.

 “So now that we’re all re-acquainted you can leave,” I say turning to face Mark and his stupid seashell necklace.

 “But I have something that you can use to harm James Potter.” He said before taking a drink of MY orange juice.

 Who exactly does this kid think he is? Albus Dumbledore, because…he’s not!

 “If I wanted your advice, oh wait I don’t.” I say sarcastically.

 “Teely, Teely, Teely I had detention with the boy. I know what he fears.” He smirked.

 “Your face?”

 “Oh that was funny…not.” He said dryly, “If I wanted to talk to a blonde ditz I would’ve gone to Slytherin Table.”

 “Mark, we don’t care.” Lily stepped in. Saved by the bell…uh…the Lily.

 He sat silent for a moment, “Okay I’m sorry for the whole deer fiasco, can we move on.” He answered at last.

 “Yes, let’s move you over there.” I smirked nodding to the trash can, “Farewell Mark.”

 I got up and Lily followed suit.

 “Here.” Lily said handing me a tic tac.

 “Why do I have a tic tac in my hand?” I asked raising an eyebrow.

 “Because you were choking on toast and now your mouth is filled with germs.” She stated.

 Sometimes that girl is just…out there.



 “James, right?” I asked the boy who was in detention with me the other day. He’s walking with his two friends, one of which really needs to lose some pounds, and stops to look at me.


 “Well first off, I’d like to say I’m sorry for the whole gum thing and second would you like another combatant in your war against a said Teely Ryan?”

 He grinned widely. “Are you a witty thinker?” he asked.

 “Yes.” I simply answered.

 “You’re in then,” he said still smiling, “This is Peter” he pointed to the chubby one, “and this is Sirius.”

 A/N: so yep, chapter seven is up which mean for review time! YAY! This time I have free….-insert whatever you want here- :]




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