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103 Ways To Annoy Voldemort. by claireabella
Chapter 6 : What really happened during the summer of 69.
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 3

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Chapter 6 Wahoo!

It’s weird thinking I’m up to chapter 6 but I decided now I’m going to write completely for my leisure.

I know the last chapter was pretty short but I had to stop, I mean how hard would it of been to be able to top that little dance act? I think as I had so much fun doing it there shall be a sequel.

I am almost finished the list so I plan to leave the fics with a bang. And yes I am using other ideas as they come to me so in the end it might be 103 ways to annoy Voldemort but I may of only used 99 or so from the list and 4 of my own J

And remember the more you review the less to you have to wait. I really need from constructive criticism other than the one-word reviews!

And now on with CHAPTER SIX!!!!!!


Voldemort stood their transfixed to the spot; he had just endured the Deatheaters renditions of Annie’s The Sun Will Come Out, and for some odd reason Stop Right Now by the Spice Girls.

To tell the truth the Spice Girls version was not that bad after all. In fact the chorus was very well rehearsed.

Wait, STOP what was he thinking, Voldemort hates happy things he prefers death. And evil things like killing butterflies and ripping the cover off The Divinchi Code.

The Deatheaters after their final ‘self called’ encore has rushed off the stage and given themselves bunches of roses that complimented there now rainbow cloaks perfectly.

“Tom phone call!” Narcissa shouted from behind the makeshift black curtain that acted as a backdrop for the performance from hell.

Voldemort frowned, since when did the Deatheaters manor have a ridiculous muggle contraption?

“Hello” Voldemort spoke into the cheap black plastic receiver

“Hello Mister Voldemort, I’m Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet, I’ve just received a tip from an anonymous source wishing only to be known as ‘one of the dudes that supports the dude that hates Potty head’ Is this really you?” Rita screeched joyfully into the phone, delighted to have such a piece of privileged information.

Voldemort’s blood rushed to his head, which in their right mind would give away his details to THE Rita Skeeter and then allow her to call him and then use a name like that. People these days; they just don’t respect their local dark lord.

“I know you must be shocked that one of your followers have given away your information but don’t worry, if we get what we want we will just ignore the fact that we know exactly where you live….” Rita Skeeter trailed off though her voice was obviously flushed with excitement.

Voldemort remained silent.

“How does it feel to know that you have a rat in the ranks, that being my terminology not yours” Rita Skeeter asked loudly.

Voldemort finally piped up “I need to pee” and with that he slammed down the phone. Which one of this Deatheaters in their right mind would sell him out? THEY WILL DIE.


“I propose we lure Potter into my midst by taking one of his best friends the people that fuel his desire to kill me” Voldemort Hissed his voice was sprayed with what was undutifully pride.

“Not going to happen” Lucuis replied simply and dropped his head so it was being cradled in his hands.

“Why not, the plan is fool proof,” Voldemort shouted.

“I mean yeah, your kind of scary, you like to kill things but you my friend aren’t to flash with children, I mean you practically scared my puppy to death, and that was just by looking at it, what hopes to you have with an actual little nipper?” Mcnair replied seriously, his head still cradled in his hands.

Voldemort looked around with his eyes and raised his eyebrows “You had a puppy which I scared to death?”

Mcnair felt a tear run down his cheek as he nodded “Yes, he was my best friend, you see it was the summer of 69…” Mcnair said dramatically dragging out his voice.

“Umm it’s the year 1999” Voldemort replied slowly.

Mcnair nodded tears sliding down his cheeks “I know, I just wanted to put that in they’re for the more effect, the thing is that little Bessie is dead because of you!”

Voldemort Smirked.

“I hate you! Why must you kill everything, you…y-you Murderer!”? Mcnair screamed ever so dramatically before flinging his chair back and letting it his the floor before fleeing the room, is loud sobs we’re still audible.

“Nice going you big bully!” Bellatrix shrieked before fleeing down the floor following Mcnair.

“Great now whose going to clear up this mess” Narcissa screeched as she stood up gracefully and glided out of the room.


“OUCH” Voldemort shouted loudly as he felt a biscuit his sim squarely on his forehead.

Voldemort looked down thinking obviously it was a mistake.

“OW!” another biscuit hit him this time on the cheek

Voldemort looked around, no one was there.

“OUCH LIKE STOP IT” Voldemort screamed as this time two biscuits his him.

“If you do not stop it so help me Merlin I will turn you into a giant biscuit…. wait no, I WILL KILL YOU” Voldemort shrieked his voice on the verge of tears.

Crabbe and Goyle jumped out from behind an invisibility cloak their eyes wide with horror.

“I think he’s losing it” Goyle whispered to Crabbe.

“I think he’s already lost it” Crabbe whispered to Goyle.

Voldemort huffed loudly turned on his feet and stormed out of the room, biscuits falling from his clothes in the process and with one final ouch of anger he slammed the door.


Not much happened today, this is just mainly a filler chapter J So expect more to come as a little incentive, next chapter there is going to be a food fight J so that’s going to be fun :P

Until next time we meet

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