Chapter 4 : Fun Fiesta Party!
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Well, those detentions stunk like a bunch of rotten eggs with a side of stinky cheese on a hot summer’s day. Hey, it’s not my fault that my mom is sending me books on different literature techniques and forcing me to use them. I have to do it because if my mom finds out that I didn’t, she will ground me for like, ever.
Right, back on subject. I mean, it stinks that I have to pay for something that isn’t my fault. Its Sirius’ fault. It’s always his fault. Good thing it wasn’t on Mexican Day, though.
Ah, Mexican Day. The day that you can speak spanish (sort of), not do any class work, and scarf down as many chips and tacos as you like. Sirius better not ruin this day for me like he ruined the one last year.
Flashback, flashback, flashback…
“Tacos are the most delicious thing on earth!” I love drowning my tacos in hot sauce and sour cream and stuffing them in my mouth. It was an art to me. This was my favorite day of the year. Then, the evil man walked in. Of course, at the time, we didn’t even know each other.
“Hi. My name is Sirius Black.” He seemed nice enough so I let him and his friends hang out with me. You know, the Marauders and stuff. They all seemed nice, except for Peter, who was eating all of the cheese on the table.
We decided to pick up our tacos fast and head over to the chip table. There was practically no one there because tacos are just better. ”Hand me the extra super spicy sauce with extra spicy please,” I asked Sirius. So he grabbed the sauce and started walking over when he just decided to trip. His taco and the hot sauce flew out of his hands and landed on me. (Remember, this is the extra super spicy sauce with extra spicy, so the stain is impossible to get out) I was so humiliated.
I could only think one word. Dead meat… OK, maybe that’s two words, but let’s says that it is one word. Just to make the moment a little more intense. What was I saying? Oh yeah, dead meat.
Horrible. Just horrible. That was the time I ever started hating Sirius for the rotten person he is. He never even had the heart to… a-pol-lo-gize (I just cannot say that word). I need to stay away from him as much as possible, so he doesn’t ruin the day. Again.
I was hanging out with Remus at the taco stand, the most wonderful thing on earth, next to the actual taco. But sadly enough, Sirius was there too, just because he is friends with Remus. James and Peter tagged along too. Lily was forcibly coming because she was hand-cuffed to James. (I guess James had tricked her into those things. Poor Lily)
We were having a great time eating tacos, until all of the cheese ran out. (Guess who did that) So we headed to the piñata. I always found it fun to beat a Paper-Mache figurine filled with candy and grab all the goodies that I can. It always gives me such a rush. But Sirius always gets more than me. He is a cheater. Yes, it is possible to cheat at hitting a piñata. Trust me. I’ve done it like, a million times.
Wait… I didn’t tell you that! I am not the kind of person who cheats! What are you talking about? SHUSH!
We were waiting in line to smack the piñata until it died, and we all had our best baseball bats in our hands. Sirius was making the wait very unpleasant. “Don’t miss this time! Don’t miss this time! Don’t miss this time! Don’t miss this-“
I pointed my bat is his direction. “You better hope this misses.” That kept him quiet. For the rest of the line time, we all just waited as Remus and I just talked about, well, stuff.
Finally, it was my turn! I held up my bat with concentration. “Alright. Here it is. The super whammy. The big kazoo. The jumbo smack. The giglialfubleah. The-“
“JUST HIT IT!” someone in the line had screamed at me in such a rude way! I just ignored the yell and went for it. I smacked it as hard as I could and, would you know it, the thing exploded! I got my candy bag ready but it was not needed, for candy did not fall out of the piñata, but tomatoes! Where the H-E-double hockey sticks was the candy?
We had a mystery on our hands, a mystery that even Scooby-Doo and the gang could not solve. (Well duh, they didn’t come to our school) But then I remembered who was in charge of the piñata. Slughorn. What was he trying to pull? Everyone knows that a traditional piñata is filled with tasty treats, not disgusting vegetables, or fruits, or whatever they are. “I know who did it! It was Slughorn!”
I pointed at the insane teacher who committed the crime. “Yes! I did it! I filled the piñata with tomatoes! I am very proud of myself! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids and there stupid dog!” He pointed strait at me and the marauders. “And for your information, tomatoes are fruits!”
Sirius suddenly looked panicked. “How did you know my secret? This is so horrible! I have to get away! Move to another country like… um… America! Yes! That’s the perfect plan! I’ll go by the name of Fred! I’ll be-“
I smacked him upside the head. “He didn’t mean your, uh, ‘power.’ He was just taking a quote from that crazy cartoon show on T.V. That’s all, you dunder head.” I smacked him again. It took him a while to cement all of that information into his head. But when he finally realized, he gave out a big, “Oh.” Even though he doesn’t deserve a toaster, he still needs one. He’s just that dumb. I just have one because it was a gift to me and I use it only for ideas.
All of us angry students prepared our bats for an attack. Some grabbed taco sauces and salsas. “Battle formation, 229! Ready, aim-“
As we were about to attack, the headmaster Dumbledore had just walked by with a taco. “Mexicans are so smart to have invented the taco. It’s delicious!”
Well, since we couldn’t beat Slughorn to a pulp, we just declared him “The Biggest Dorkwad in all of the Campus.” But for me, the biggest dorkwad of all was Sirius Black.
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