Lily drifted slowly, in that quiet, not-quite-there space between sleep and waking. What had happened again? She wondered, half awake mind straining to push back the blinding veils of sleep… Oh wait, that was it!
Severus Snape was the Half Blood Prince, James Potter was a stag, and a nightmare thing was going to try to kill a raven haired baby with emerald colored eyes. Even in this dream world, something still made all that slightly disturbing. She couldn’t quite grasp why, in this blissfully unaware state. A part of her wanted to stay like this forever, drifting like a cloud, careless and free…
But I can’t…
She frowned, where had that sudden thought come from? It wasn’t right, it didn’t belong in this free and airy world!
I have to go back- my life is there, not in a dream. And something waits for me, something more than life… something special, something I didn’t know to exist any more.
Lily fought to stay asleep and happy, floating forever in wonderful ignorance. But deep inside her soul, something inexorably pulled her toward wakefulness. The girl felt her resolve slipping away- why had she wanted to stay again? Why, she was missing everything! And something important waited for her among the living- something that she had secretly waited for. And it was something a person of the dream world could not find…
James slumped in a chair next to Lily’s bedside, eyes red rimmed from worry and lack of sleep over the past three days. He now sat alone in the midnight hour, pale light from a three quarter moon lighting the room. James grimaced again, poor Remus to have to spend the holidays in pain as the full moon drew closer. At least Charlotte was there to comfort him…
Sirius and Eternity had left a few hours ago, evicted by Madame Pomfrey. James was rather glad they had left- he needed silence and Sirius’ incessant need to chatter only made it worse, not to mention the look on Eternity’s face whenever she looked at her friend.
The young man rested his face in his hands, eyes closing for a minute. What a lovely scene danced before tormented eyes- there was his flower, laughing as she stopped running, just out of reach!
Why was life so unfair? Why was Lily so infuriating? Why did he love her?!
James smiled bitterly, “Why do I love her? Why her?”
She sped toward wakefulness, her mind humming even as her body lay as in sleep. And finally, Lily felt herself waking, opening her eyes ever so slightly…
To see James Potter, head in his hands, sitting at her bedside! She quickly closed her eyes again and tried to ignore her thundering heart- why couldn’t she remember what that important thing was?!
And suddenly, he began to speak…
“I know why I love her,” James murmured, looking up to gaze at her face again, voice haggard as he reached out and took her pale hand, smoothing her fingers with his own.
“You’re beautiful for one thing. No one else has fiery hair as glorious as yours, eyes the color of polished emeralds, or a delicate, porcelain grace. And that was yet another reason; you make my heart do strange things, like sprouting bloody poetry from my very depths! No one has ever made me do that before, no one!”
“Even the little things you do- that way you bite your lip when you’re thinking, or the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. How your mind is like a steel trap; nothing ever blindsides you. You’re always prepared, always ready with a solution. The way you always stand up for everyone, especially those without a voice. And when you’re mad- that’s when I love you most! When you’re so angry that you slap me hard enough to leave a mark, the way you won’t give me any ground, how you get up in my face and tell me what a bloody twat I am. Oh flower…”
“How could you be named Lily? Lilies- pure, white and beautiful, smooth. Docile, utterly loving, and calm. You; you’re not those things. And I don’t want you to be- because you’re my rose. Because rose are exciting and passionate, blooming with raw life and energy. Because roses are tall and statuesque, bossy and loud, letting no one ignore them or brush them off. Because even white roses have thorns… And I know, my lovely, beautiful flower, that I shouldn’t do this, especially since you can’t stop me, but I’m going to be brave for once in my life. I’ve always been so afraid to fall, afraid of what life might throw at me if I do. But, I think I’ve learned that I have to- what’s life without a little risk? And I’m ready to take mine…”
The raven haired boy had moved steadily closer to the girl as he feverishly spoke, closer and closer until his last words brushed against still lips. James caressed her pale cheek in his hand, smoothing the delicate skin as his gently pressed his lips to hers in a maddeningly chaste way when he really wanted to kiss her as though the world was ending, as though she was the only thing left.
The pain welled up inside his chest and he began to pull away, to try to salvage the pieces of his heart before they collapsed to dust- and found he couldn’t.
Soft, warm, and wonderfully alive lips caressed his own, a gently hand tangled itself in his hair, forbidding him from moving away.
She murmured against his lips, “I remember now…” and James froze, stock still as she spoke;
“I think I love you.”
Several hours later, Eternity and Sirius tiptoed back into the hospital wing, the latter muttering, “If he doesn’t come back to the dorm with us I’ll carry him out! It not healthy, moping about-”
Eternity suddenly stopped and placed a hand over Sirius’ mouth, her face lighting up. He looked at her, confused, before looking into the hospital wing. James’ chair was empty.
Instead, he lay on Lily’s bed, his head touching hers. They breathed slowly, deeply in their sleep, perfectly synchronized. Atop the covers, their hands were twined together, so tight it seemed as if they’d never, ever let go…
A/N: I should officially be shot. I’m such a terrible person and I feel horrible for making you wait this long only to have to break some bad news to ya’ll. This is the first time in months since I’ve logged on, and there’s no good excuse save for finals and shit loads of schoolwork before I left civilization for the summer only to return to shit loads more of work. I’ve really just lost my drive for this story and for most of the rest of my fanfiction to pursue my own works; however terrible they may be. I cannot apologize enough for doing this to you, but I really tried just to write this chapter so the story would have a semi-ending at least. I want to thank everyone that reviewed and who were always so supportive- I “finished” it for you. If anybody really wants, I’ll send them the sketchy outline for the rest of the story, to see where all the rest of it mapped out to. I love you all and thanks for everything…
Write a Review Let Yourself Fall: Chapter Ten: I Remember Now…