Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Words that We Couldn't Say
“You had made your choice, Granger.”
Her heart ached at the bitterness in his voice.
Today was the last day of their seventh year in Hogwarts. All students were celebrating in their respective house common room, savoring the last moment of student life before stepping into the cruelty of adulthood, except them.
They were the only students here in the astronomy tower.
It was once, their…secret sanctuary.
She clenched her hands tightly.
“Yes, I have.”
He was staring down from the tower with his back facing her.
“Well, congratulations then.”
He had spoken in such power and calmness. Hermione knew this was for the best. Yet, it pained her to hear the words from him. She shivered.
“This is goodbye then.”
The words trembled in her mouth.
“So it seems.”
He did not turn around to face her when he spoke.
Hermione was glad that he didn’t.
She took one last glance toward his solitary figure and turned.
“Hermione.”
She paused at her steps upon hearing her name from his mouth.
“You know I love you and I always will.”
Choking down a loud sob in her dried throat, Hermione disappeared into the secret doorway with tears gushing down her pale face.
“…I love you too.”
________________________________________
A twenty–three-year old Hermione Granger jolted up from her bed with tears running down her face.
Her breath was quick and uneven. Her pulse pounded in her ears.
Brushing a hand against her pale wet cheeks, she pushed herself into a sitting position.
Bloody hell.
She had not dreamt of that day in a long time.
It had been six years since she had graduated from Hogwarts.
Many things had happened in those six long years.
Voldemort’s power had grown, yet the loyalty between his fellow Deaths Eaters was slowly decaying through time.
During these six years, the Order had managed to recruit a few spies from the dark side and, thanks to them, the Order had successfully raided many of Voldemort and follower’s lairs.
Four times a year, each spy would meet them in 12 Grimmauld place to exchange valuable information.
She, Harry and the Weasley family had been staying there ever since the war had officially started between the light and the dark.
“Mione, WAKE UP! Mom said Breakfast’s ready.”
A loud knock on her door broke her reverie.
She rolled off her bed and walked into the washroom.
“I’m up, Ron. I will be down in five.”
Listening to the thundering footsteps ascending the stairs, Hermione ran the water tab. She pulled her messy hair into a bun and splashed some cold water on her tearstained face.
Looking at her pale features through the mirror, she sighed deeply.
She looked like shit.
We couldn't say them,
So now we just pray them,
Words that we couldn't say.
_________________________________
“Morning Ginny, morning Mrs. Weasley.”
She walked into the kitchen spotting the pair of mother and daughter moving busily around.
“Hey Hermione, have a tough night?”
Ginny flashed Hermione a playful grin and earned herself a hard stare from Hermione.
Molly rushed toward Hermione and scrutinized her with worried eyes.
“Oh dear. Are you feeling all right, Hermione? Are you sick? You look pale. Do you need me to floo Pomfrey?”
Hermione shook her head and gathered up a half smile.
“No, I’m fine Mrs. Weasley. Just had a nightmare. That’s all.”
“What is going on?”
Harry had chosen that moment to walk in with Ron.
“Oh nothing, dear. Our Hermione is saying she had a nightmare.”
Harry walked toward Hermione and pecked her lips softly before pulling her into a half embrace.
“You okay, love?”
Hermione returned her boyfriend a light kiss and smiled weakly toward all of them.
“Hey, I’m perfectly fine except the growling in my stomach. And stop stealing food in your mouth without even washing your hands, Ron. Ew, do you have any idea how many germs and bacteria there are?”
All of them laughed.
It seemed to them Hermione was fine and normal after all.
Funny, ain't it?
Games people play,
Scratch it, paint it,
One in the same,
We couldn't find them,
So we tried to hide them
Words that we couldn't say.
________________________________________
“Hey, Hermione. Honestly, are you okay?”
Ginny took a glance at her before handling her a plate covered with detergent.
Scrubbing the plate under the running water, Hermione shrugged.
“I’m fine.”
Staring at her friend, Ginny placed the remaining plates into the sink and proceed to grab Hermione’s shoulder.
Turning her around to face her, Ginny frowned upon noticing the dark circles around Hermione’s eyes.
“Well, you look like shit, you know?”
Hermione chuckled bitterly and brushed off Ginny’s hand before continuing her dish washing.
Both girls washed the dishes in silence.
“Ginny?”
“Hm?”
“Have you ever felt this strong feeling to be with someone yet you plainly couldn’t? So strong that it pains you whenever you think of him?”
After a moment of silence, Ginny muttered softly.
“Yes.”
“Have you ever felt the bitterness that chews your heart when he is so near to you yet seemed so far?”
“…Yes.”
“Herms, why do you ask all this?”
“Gin, who is the man who made you feel that way?”
Both girls finished washing the dishes in complete silence.
It hurts, don't it?
Fools on parade,
Taint it, own it,
Chase it away,
We couldn't make them,
So we had to break them,
Words that we couldn't say.
________________________________________
Hermione walked into the living room and was surprised to see Lupin and Kingsley sitting on the sofa with Ron and Harry.
“Hey. Nice to see you all.”
All heads turned toward Hermione when they heard her greeting.
Lupin flashed a warm smile while Kingsley nodded toward her.
She slipped into the empty seat Harry had saved for her and tensed lightly before relaxing when Harry wrapped an arm around her waist.
“So, what brings all of you here today?”
Everyone cast weird glance toward her.
Harry had decided to clear his girlfriend’s confusion. He knew she had always hated the feeling of not knowing something.
“You had forgotten dear. Today was the day for us to meet them. They are reaching any time soon. I told you last Monday, didn’t I?”
Hermione’s heart skipped a beat.
Today was the day.
She had…forgotten.
Harry tightened his arm around Hermione when he sensed her tensed body.
“Love, are you all right? What’s wrong?”
Hermione snapped up as if someone had hit her in the face.
“Hermione, love?”
She stared into Harry’s concern emerald eyes. Lowering her gaze she muttered softly.
“No, nothing is wrong, Harry. I’m all right.”
All of them resumed their conversation and discussion except Hermione.
She was sitting in her seat sandwiched between Harry and Ron. Nobody noticed her trembling hands and pale white face.
She was screaming in her mind.
NO! SHE WAS NOT FINE AT ALL.
Today was the meeting day for the spies and the Order. How could she have forgotten?
He would be coming and she…would be seeing him.
________________________________________
A low knock on the door made Hermione jump from her seat.
Harry and Ginny were looking at her weirdly.
She avoided their stare and steadied herself.
“Erm, I was going to answer the door.”
Disappearing from the living area, she leaned against the wall beside the entrance door.
They were just a door apart.
Inhaling deeply, she summoned her remaining strength and pulled open the door.
Outside the doorway stood three hooded figures.
All three of them pushed past Hermione and entered the house.
Closing the door behind her, Hermione fixed her gaze toward the last hooded man who had passed through the door.
There he was.
They were once again so near, yet seemed so far.
_____________________________________
Hermione returned to the living area just in time to hear Lupin asking the three visitors their secret code. It was for security measure.
“Dissimulo.”
All three of them muttered softly while they pulled over their hood, revealing a Theodore Nott, a Blaise Zabini and a Draco Malfoy.
She took a long glance around the room before motioning Ginny to follow her into the kitchen to prepare drinks. Molly Weasley had gone to baby-sit her little grandson in George’s house, thus they were the only females left in the house to do the job.
She took out a big crystal jug from the kitchen cabinet.
He had grown thinner compared to three months ago, when she had last seen him.
She wondered if he was eating properly. He always tended to miss his breakfast. Not a morning person, he was.
The circles around his eyes seemed darker and his cheek hollowed in a little. Gosh. How much rest did he…………………..
“Hey, HERMIONE! Back to earth!”
Hermione snapped back to reality when she heard the loud shout beside her.
Instinctively, she cringed and covered her ears.
Ginny was standing with her hands on her waist, staring at her, giving her a Weasley look.
“Gosh, Gin, those was my ears you know?”
“You were not listening. What do you expect me to do? Seriously, what’s wrong with you today, Herms?”
Hermione sliced some fresh lemons and chunked them into the empty jug.
“Nah, nothing. I’m sorry Gin. What were you saying just now?”
Ginny seemed unsatisfied with Hermione brushing off her question, yet she was immediately carried off with her previous conversation.
“Oh yeah, I was talking about Malfoy.”
Hermione sent Ginny a curious look.
“What about Malfoy?”
Ginny handed Hermione a bottle of syrup.
“Don’t you think it is strange to see Malfoy sitting here with us? No matter how many times I’ve seen them having meetings, I still feel intimidated by the scene of him sitting here in our house. Malfoy no longer acts like a prat. This I know. Shame to say but I must admit he is quite…well gorgeous to look at. Yet don’t you feel he seems more..er…what’s the word? Er…yeah darker than he used to be? It is like there’s a black aura surrounding him wherever he goes. I wonder how Harry manages it to talk with him.”
Hermione looked down at the jug of lemonade in silence.
“Hermione, what do you think?”
“I have no idea, Gin.”
Picking up the drinking tray, Hermione handed it to Ginny and sent her out the kitchen.
Sometimes baby,
We make mistakes,
Dark and hazy,
Prizes we pay,
I seat here in my shelf,
Just talking to myself,
Words that we couldn't say.
_______________________________________
Ginny walked into the living room.
All the men were engrossed deeply into their discussion.
She saw Harry listening intently to what Zabini was telling him.
She sighed and placed the tray on the coffee table before moving to leave.
She thought no one would be aware of her existence in the room but she was wrong.
“Hey Gin, wait up.”
She looked up, turned around and found herself meeting Harry’s eyes.
‘Yes, Harry?”
“I was wondering where Hermione was. Isn’t she with you in the kitchen?”
The light in Ginny’s eyes dimmed.
“Oh, Hermione said she would be in the library if anyone needed her.”
Harry flashed her a warm smile.
“Thanks. Just wanted to know that’s all.”
“Harry, where’s Malfoy?”
Ginny had scanned through the room and found everyone was here except Malfoy.
Harry looked up from an ancient map.
“Oh, him. He said he needed some fresh air.”
_____________________________________
Someday, maybe,
We'll make it right,
Until that day,
Long endless night,
We couldn't say them,
So now we just pray them,
Words that we couldn't say.
Hermione was lying on the couch in the library. She relaxed herself into the soft plushy cushion.
She loved the atmosphere in this room. It was so serene and tranquil. She loved being surrounded by the scent of the old books. She remembered he had always teased her that she would marry a library one day.
She was not sure how long she had dozed off.
She snapped open her eyes when she sensed another presence in the enclosed room.
He was here.
She would always recognize his scent. It was a mixture of sandalwood with wild spice.
It was intoxicating.
She could sense him standing beside the window on her right.
Both of them settled into a comfortable silence.
She stared up at the ceiling above her.
“The meeting is over?”
“No.”
Came his calm reply.
She had always admired the power and authority he was able to insert into his voice.
The summer heat was hypnotizing.
She lost count on how long they had stayed there in silence.
She woke from her light snooze when she felt a soft hand brushed by her lips.
She felt her heart ache against the tenderness of his touch.
When she opened her eyes, the room was empty. A soft click from the library door was the only sound heard in the room.
A lone tear slipped from her eye with a gentle smile gracing her face.
“I love you too, Draco.”
We couldn't say them,
So now we just pray them,
Words that we couldn't say.
The End.
________________________________________
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Credit
Song used in the story: Words that we couldn't say
Lyricist: Tim Jensen
Singer: Yoko Kanno
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