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Lily and James: An Extremely Long and Lame Title for a Collection of Parodies for Them by just another harry potter fan
Chapter 2 : Parody/Really Lame One-Shot Number Two
 
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 29


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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here's a really lame one-shot. Not any extra precautions. Yet. Enjoy reading this. . .if you can!


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Parody/Really Lame One-Shot Number Two

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"I HATE YOU, POTTER!"

"Do you want to snog, Evans?"

YOU'RE SO STUPID!"

"I can find a broom closet around here. . ."

"YOU'RE SUCH A PRICK!"

"Hey, Remus."

Hot Remus looked up from one of his usual one million, five hundred and seventy-six page, dusty, old book. "What?" He asked very wisely, because after all, he's Hot Remus Lupin. The wise, sensible, responsible, bookworm of the troublemaking, Hot Marauders (who are also very, very hot).

"What, Sirius?"

Hot Sirius watched Lily and Hot James with some sort of twinkle his eye (amused, playful, anything like that). "I think we should be matchmakers and make a plan to get Hot James and Evans together."

Hot Remus eyebrows rose wisely,"A plan?"

"Yeah. It'll be called something really, really original like. . .Flower for Prongs or- how about, A Flower for A Stag?"

Not Hot At All But Actually Really Hideous Peter had just entered the Gryffindor common room. He had just got back from his death eater meeting in the Slytherin common room. He and Voldermort discussed the best strategies to betray best friends and be a traitor in general, over tea and chocolate frogs. There were green and white sprinkles on the chocolate frogs to go along with the Slytherin house colors. He sat down by Hot Remus and Hot Sirius as Lily told Hot James he was a prick. Wow! She'd never said that before. "How about Plan Lily and James?"

"That's stupid, Peter." Hot Sirius said. Not Hot At All But Actually Really Hideous Peter "mysteriously disappeared" again to have another tea break with Voldie and the Gang.

"I don't think that's wise, Sirius." Hot Remus said wisely.

"Why not?" Hot Sirius asked cluelessly.

"GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF, POTTER!"

"Because it's not wise."

"Oh." Hot Sirius shrugged. "Oh, well. Plan Flower for Prongs is now in session.

"Oh, joy." Hot Remus said wisely unenthusiastically.

"Oh, yes. Here's the plan. . ."

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"Okay. . .one. . .two. . .three-" Hot Sirius locked the door, brushing aside some of his wonderfully beautiful hair with his utterly strong arms from all of those quidditch practices.

There were sounds of Lily screaming at Hot James and at anyone who would listen in general from the other side of the broom closet.

"SIRIUS BLACK, I AM GOING TO HEX YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME!- POTTER, I HATE YOU!"

"Evans, want to snog? We're in a broom closet now!"

"Okay, James, Evans!" Hot Sirius started. "You two will have to stay in there till you're snogging and shagging like bunnies!" Wow! The idea of trapping Lily and Hot James in a broom closet till they love each other was just so original Hot Sirius!

Hot Remus tutted wisely. Not the farting "tut", but the "tut" you make with your mouth because Hot Remus does not fart- if he did, it would be wisely. "I don't think this is a good idea, Sirius."

"Oh, well. I'm reckless." Hot Sirius said with a shrug.

Hot Remus just continued to tut (with his mouth, not his arse) wisely.

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"More tea, Mr. Voldie?"

"Oh yes, please." Voldie requested pleasantly just after finishing off another death eater who hadn't gotten him another chocolate frog in time.

Not Hot At All But Really Hideous Peter nodded (in a hideous way) and poured more tea for Mr. Voldie. "What is next in our agenda?"

Mr. Voldie took a sip of tea. "Next, you spy on your friends and and betray them and the despicable Order." He said pleasantly. Around Mr. Voldie and Not Hot At All But Really Hideous Peter, death eaters were dancing around in a circle doing something between the tango and the polka, singing "Voldie is Number One" over and over again.

All of a sudden, Dumbledore himself walked in. "Oh, my! I am so sorry! Was I interrupting an evil death eater meeting again?"

Voldie shook his head in disapproval while the dancing and singing death eaters around him began singing "Follow the Voldie-Brick Road". "I am disappointed in you, Albus! This is the third time this month you've accidently dropped in on our meeting!"

"So sorry, Tom. I am late for a meeting with Severus at the edge of the Astronomy tower." With that, Dumbledore left and headed for the Astronomy tower.

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"I HATE YOU, POTTER!"

"Want to snog?"

"I REALLY HATE YOU AND YOU'RE A PRICK! AND A GIT. AND A PATHETIC TOAD. AND A GOAT- A HORRIBLE GOAT! YOU'RE ALSO A MINDLESS, SPINELESS, AWFUL, ARROGANT, CRUEL, FOOLISH- and, okay."

And the two began a very passionate snogging session. Wow!

Hot Sirius and Hot Remus (who had a new two million, eight hundred and fifty-nine page book in his arms- the other book he had finished) came back to the closet and opened the door. WOW! Their oh-so-original plan worked! Go Flower for Prongs!

And so, their the two Hot boys stood, watching Lily and Hot James snog passionately (Lily muttering what a "git" Hot James was every once and a while). Soon after Mr. Voldie and Peter, along with the death eaters also joined the Hot boys watch Lily and Hot James snog. Dumbledore and Severus also joined. They all began dancing around Lily and Hot James singing,"Oh, How We Love Mary-Sues" over and over again. The sun came out bright and the world was happy again (it was happy before, but whatever).

The end.

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Author's Note: . . . . . . .LOL! I wrote this in literally. . .fifteen minutes! LOL! Now that's one crappy one-shot, yet one pretty good parody, eh? LoL. Lily screaming all the time, James only saying four or five sentences- all about snogging, a bit of Voldie- what more could someone ask for? X D

Toodles,

Eye Heart Music



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