Chapter 1 : On zee Quidditch Pitch
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Lily was apparently listening intently to Professor McGonagall's lecture on a certain Transfiguration technique developed by a Brazillian wizard in the medeval times, but in all honesty, she was just staring raptly at her Professor to avoid catching the eye of none other than James Potter.
She could feel his eyes burning holes into her head, and she was waiting impatiently for the class period to be over. Curse double periods! Lily sighed, and seemed to be jotting down a few notes.
Argh, doesn't he have someone else to stare at?
Honestly, why doesnt the boy take a hint? Maybe I should just go out with someone, but then again...everyone's afraid of getting hexed. Urgh, Damn that boy. I wish he'd just find someone else. Maybe if I did give him a chance, though, I could persuade him to go easy on the hexing people. That'd make Severus's day, I bet. Wait, why do I care? Bastard calls me Mudblood. Damn him, too. Him and that egomaniac, Potter. Damn men! All men. Yeah, that should do it. I'm hungry, though...huh, I wonder if they're having something good for lunch today. I hate kidney pie.
Lily looked up just in time to see Professor McGonagall walking down her row to check for homework. Lily hastily tucked the scrap of parchment she had been scribbling on into a textbook, and dug out her essay from her bag just as Professor McGonagall passed her. Handing over the scroll of parchment, slightly bent from being under a book, Lily sighed inwardly. The Transfiguration Professor was momentarily obscuring Lily from James Potter's view.
As class was dismissed, Lily hurried towards the door, weaving through the students eager to get to lunch, Lily was more focused on avoiding James Potter, and his ridiculous attempts to charm her. After all, what would that look like? The schools top troublemaker, and the Gryffindor prefect? I'd be scorned everytime he set off a dungbomb. She decided that was as good an argument as any, and as she fought the chattering waves of students heading in the opposite direction to get to the Gryffindor common room to drop off her bag, she continued her mental rant.
No matter how attractive or charming that boy is - thinks he is, more like it - I'll never be able to date someone who's so self-centered, so arrogant, so...mean to people who don't deserve it. Now that I think on it, I don't recall Severus ever even speaking to James before they started hexing each other all over the castle. I never really thought about that. I wonder why-"
Lily's thoughts were interrupted as she rounded the corner and tripped over someones feet, causing her books to fly out of her arms, and tumble to the floor. "Oh! Sorry, Sorry! I wasn't paying attention, I- oh...you. No, stop, I've got them." Lily knelt down and swatted the hands of James Potter off her books.
"Alright, Evans? I'm sorry about tripping you, want to go to Hogsmeade next weekend? Butterbeer on me?" He gave her one of those cheeky grins of his. Never let a chance to ask her out pass by, did he? Every week before Hogsmeade trips, James asked Lily, and Lily turned him down. It was like some strange ritual with them. It was actually getting old to Lily. Nothing she said ever made a difference to him.
Frustrated at the thought that she could say she was more interested in dating a toad than him, and he'd ignore it and be back the next day, she rolled her eyes and said venemously, "Potter, I'd rather kiss a Slytherin than go out with you. Now please, stop asking and-and go to lunch or something." Lily straightened up, books wrapped protectively in her arms, and with a quick glare at James, made to continue walking to the common room when she was stopped by James's outstreatched arm blocking her way. Lily glared at him a moment, but her expression turned to bewilderment at the seriousness of James's expression.
James had his brow furrowed, and his normally smug grin was now a slight frown creasing his face. Lily could see she had offended him, but she could hardly believe after all those times she'd called him a toerag, this was what was going to get to him the most? Well, I suppose to him, that's about as low a blow can get. Maybe he thinks I'm horrible now. For some reason unknown to Lily, that thought didn't comfort her anymore than his frequent bids for her affection.
Lily's memory zoomed back to a few weeks ago, when James and Sirius had immobilized Severus Snape and tried out a number of unpleasant hexes and jinxes on him, while Remus Lupin pretended to be busy telling off a second year for using magic in the halls. Lily, gathering that Remus wasn't going to stop his friends, docked twenty points from Gryffindor and shouted herself hoarse before taking a severely disgruntled Severus up to the hospital wing. He had tried to put up a struggle, but seeing as Sirius thought it was funny to transfigure him into a penguin, and James thought he'd look better blue, Severus couldn't do much but peck at Lily's arms and flap his new penguin wings irritably. Lily thought it was, despite everything, rather cute. She loved penguins. Her favourite colour was blue. She wondered if that hadn't been why James chose those hexes in the first place. Not very romantic, though.
Severus still had a slight tinge of blue to his skin, as the hex hadn't completely worn off yet.
"Why won't you just give me one shot, Evans? You honestly hate me so much at this point, you'd rather snog Slytherin scum than spend a few hours with me?"
Jolting back to the present, Lily sputtered a moment. Would it be too much to give him a few hours? Honestly, a trip to Hogsmeade never killed anyone, did it?
Then again, Lily had spent her entire time at Hogwarts rejecting James Potter, and going out with him would be backing down. One thing Lily hated was surrender. She was also stubborn. She also hated to be wrong. If she gave him a shot, and ended up having a good time, she'd have to admit that she'd been wrong about him. She wasn't going to let that happen.
"Potter, do you hear yourself? 'Slytherin Scum'! You're rude, and concieted, and think you're above the rules! You always are, you're-" Lily never got to finish her rant, because her voice caught in her throat.
James had hung his head, and his breath was coming in ragged gasps, but from what Lily could see, no tears made their way down his face. Lily hated it when guys cried. It was severely uncomfortable on her part. "James? I - I'm sor-" James cut her off with a violent shake of his head.
"No, you're not, Evans. You shouldn't be." Lily didn't know what to say, so she just hugged her books tighter to herself, and remained quiet. After a moment James looked up. His face was completely dry, to Lily's relief, but he was obviously upset.
With a deep breath, James spoke in a low voice, "Can't blame a guy for trying, right?" Lily dropped her eyes as he gave a cynical laugh. She never really expected James to give up on her. Lily didn't like hurting people.
"Well, if it means so much, I suppose I could go just this once-" Again, James cut her off.
"No," He said firmly. In a softer voice, he continued, "Don't you dare go out with me out of pity, Evans. If you prefer a Slytherin to me, well," Lily bit her lip. Was he actually going to admit he was being a bully, and concieted? From the sound of things, Lily had just delivered him a swift kick to his pride. "Let's go and find you a Slytherin, then. After all, I'm sure they're much more pleasant than I am, right?" Lily about dropped her books again.
"WHAT?!" Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing. It occured to her that James had always been spiteful. She mentally kicked herself for the Slytherin comment.
"You heard me, Evans. You obviously prefer Slytherins to me, so let's go find you one. Maybe Snivellus hasn't got any plans for next weekend, right? I'm sure you'll have the time of your life. After all, Snivelly is so much better than me, isn't he?" James said angrily, steering Lily back down the hall and out onto the grounds.
"Wha- No! Wait, I never said- I didn't mean...Look, I'm sorry, that was mean but-"
"Oh, let's not keep your Prince Charming waiting shall we? I'm sure anyone who calls you 'mud' and 'filth' is just the greatest guy in the world, right? Come on, then." Lily's mouth hung open. Normally she would have slapped James silly, but right now she couldn't quite function. She also slightly didn't want to slap him. Guilt was festering in her gut, and she was actually worried about him. Strange, Lily thought. I never thought he'd give up. Or get this upset.
Steering a rather shell-shocked Lily towards the lake, James ignored the few people who were outside who tried to greet him. Even his friends, Sirius and Remus could tell something was going on. Peter tried to hurry towards James, but Sirius stuck out a leg and Peter tripped, sprawling on the floor. Sirius rolled his eyes and sat on the boys back, as Remus looked disapproving, but bent down to speak in Sirius's ear nonetheless. Lily wondered if they'd be mad at her, too. They were probably as loyal to James as it was possible to be. No doubt they would be angry with her. Lily's stomache churned. Lily and Remus had always gotten along rather well, aside from the fact that they never spoke about James. They both went about prefect duties together, and now he'd probably think she was terrible as well.
James kicked at a small patch of bushes, and instantly a flash of orange light shot out from the branches, barely missing James's head. Lily started, but James held her elbow tightly, but not so much that it hurt her. Lily watched nerviously as a thin, pale, slightly blue boy shot out of the bushes, glaring at James and tossing back his straggly black hair, wand at the ready. He looked confused and suspicious when he saw that James hadn't drawn his wand, and that Lily was beside him looking confused and shocked.
"What do you want, Potter? Come to hex me in front of your girlfriend? So romantic, how do you think of these things?" Severus Snape hissed, not lowering his wand. He didn't take his narrowed eyes off James, probably because he'd had enough experience with James and his friends to let his guard down. Lily was amazed at how haunty the boys features were.
James glowered at Severus a moment before speaking. "Snivellus, this young lady seems to think snogging a Slytherin would be better than spending a day with me, so here," He gave Lily a gentle push so that she was right next to Severus. "Snog away, m'dear," He said, bowing slightly to Lily with a sarcastic tone in his voice. Lily was still at a loss for words, and Severus glared suspiciously from Lily to James. Lily had a sudden suspicion that if this went on much longer, Severus might just hex them both.
"What would I want with your mudblood girlfriend, Potter?" Severus snapped, cocking his head towards the red-haired girl trembling beside him. "Although, I have to agree with her, having to snog a Slytherin is far better than having to be around you for a day." Severus sneered at the effect of his words. James had clenched his fists, and was obviously fighting back the urge to hex Severus to cinders.
"Well, I'm surprised you think so, Snivelly, seeing as you'd have a hell of a time finding someone who could stand to be so close to you without vomiting." James smirked. Lily wondered if she should scoot away discreetly before the hexes started up.
Severus merely smirked, and gestured to Lily, who was rather close to him, having not moved since James pushed her into that spot. "Guess I'll just have to make do with your mudblood, then, right? She seems perfectly healthy to me, aside from being a mudblood."
James made to get his wand, but Lily caught his eye, and was shaking her head slightly, hoping he'd just go. James just glared at Severus, who's haunty features were daring James to attack him. After all, Severus already had his wand out. It would be foolish for James to try to hex Severus now.
"Well, seeing as both of you hate my guts, and think I'm an arrogant bastard, I'll leave the happy couple alone now." James turned to leave, and over his shoulder he gave Severus a look of the deepest loathing, and Lily a look of deep disappointment, and hurt. Why in the ruddy hell did he let me get to him now? After so long...why do I care? This is ridiculous. Lily's eyes stung with tears, and she turned on her heel, eager to escape to some secluded area. James stormed off in the opposite direction.
Setting off for the Quidditch pitch, Lily scolded herself. You were just as bad as he was, you know, being so horrible. You knew how he felt about Slytherins. It's just as bad as the 'pureblood' thing, but still... Lily swiped at a tear on her cheek. She realized her footsteps were not the only ones making their way to the Quidditch pitch. Severus was walking beside her, hands in his pockets, and staring straight ahead with a stony expression.
"Er...Severus?" He looked over at her briefly, and she got chills. He has such scary eyes. "What are you doing?" Lily really didn't want to be taunted at a time like this. Snide comments were a custom with Severus, even towards teachers. Lily wanted to be alone.
"I'm going with you, Evans." Lily's stomach clenched. He didn't really think she was going to snog him? Her face burnt against the chilly air. "Don't worry," Severus continued, after seeing her red cheeks. "I'm just going to ask you a few questions. " Lily felt her stomach muscles relax, but her face was still a brilliant shade of red. What the hell was I thinking? Lily scolded herself. Like Severus would snog me if his life depended on it. He probably just wants to know what made James so angry, probably so he can shove it in his face. That's probably it, Lily thought.
Lily and Severus made their way up the stands. Severus sat abruptly, causing Lily to trip over his knee, and almost fell off the stands. Her books scattered at his feet. Severus shot out an arm, and pulled her somewhat unceremoniously into a sitting position.
"Woman, you're the most uncoordinated person I've ever seen!" Severus said coldy. Lily just frowned. At least he hadn't called her mudblood again, although she had to admit, she was rather used to it now.
"You said you wanted to ask me something, then?" Lily prompted. She just wanted to be alone for a bit, and if she cried in front of Severus, well, she would never hear the end of it.
"What provoked Potter to shove his love interest onto me, for one?" Severus was never really one to beat around the bush. Lily sighed.
"He just asked me out, and I-I said I didnt want to, and we argued, and well...he got pretty upset." Guilt had replaced hunger in Lily's stomach, and she could feel Severus's ice cold gaze on her. She stared determinedly at the books in her lap.
"Evans, tell me word for word what happened." Lily looked up, and immediately regretted it. She caught his eyes, and felt her throat tightening. Her eyes welled up with tears, and Lily bit the inside of her cheek forcefully, trying to fight back the inevitable. Lily hung her head, and hid her face in her arms.
So much for being alone.
James slammed himself into the first unused classroom he could find, and settled himself into a corner. As expected, Sirius and Remus came rushing in, trailed by a rather reluctant looking Peter, who was covered in grass and limping.
"Prongs! What happened with Evans?" Sirius collapsed onto the floor next to James.
"Did Snape do something? Was it about that penguin thing? I'll go dock points from him until his own House-mates strangle him if he-" James shook his head and grinned weakly at Remus, who was sitting on the opposite side of him. Peter was sitting a bit further away than the others, figdeting with his shoelace.
"No, Moony, he didn't try anything, really." James gave a small, mischevious grin. "Although, you could do that anyway, you know, to make me feel better." Remus shook his head, chuckling lightly.
"Come on mate, tell us what happened then." Sirius said, his dark hair hanging in his eyes, which emitted concern.
"Are you okay, James?" Peter squeaked. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Does he bloody look alright, you dolt?" Sirius prodded Peter with his foot, and Peter tipped over with a squeak. Sprawled on the floor, he muttered something that sounded like "Sorry, James."
With a deep breathe, James began to tell his friends what happened. "She said she'd rather go snog a Slytherin than go to Hogsmeade with me." Sirius shuddered at the thought, while Remus stared off into space, obviously in deep thought. Peter shrugged and continued staring wide eyed at James. As he spoke, his friends remained silent, except when Sirius scoffed in true best friend fashion. Remus was apparently off in his own little world, and Peter was fidgeting as usual. "Then I walked off, I don't know what she did after that."
"That was just rubbish, Prongs, she's can't have been serious! I mean..." Sirius mimed vomiting on Peter. "You know?" Peter pouted, and James laughed. Even Remus let out a small chuckle.
"So that's what you and Lily were doing talking to Snape. Well, she couldn't have meant it, Sirius is probably right." Peter scooted away from Remus, as if he'd mime vomiting on him as well.
"You're probably right, it just made me think, after all he's called her, she'd still compare us? It seemed a bit unfair, I think I overreacted...Oh, she's probably going to be furious with me, great, now I've done it."
"Mate, honestly, I doubt Snivellus would kiss her. Not that she'd let him!" Sirius said comfortingly. James gave another weak smile, and ran his hands through his jet black hair.
"Right. Sirius, Peter? Would you mind if I had a moment alone with James?" Remus asked in that tone that said quite clearly 'you have no choice'. Sirius nodded, and grabbed Peter by the ankles, bodily dragging him from the room. James shook his head with laughter. Sirius was always good for a laugh, and Peter, well...he was often the prop in Sirius's odd ideas. A stepping stool, a chair, a table, but they were still friends. Not as close as James, Sirius, and Remus were, but still...
"James," Remus said, now face to face with him. "Do you really care for Lily?" James dropped his gaze momentarily. He really didn't want to have a sappy, heart-to-heart conversation with Remus right then.
"You know I do, Moony. Why would I have kept on all these years?"
"And are you going to let her go after a silly remark like that? After all this time, she probably thought you were just immune to her rejection and insults. I doubt very much that she meant to make you as upset as she did." James looked up at his friend, who seemed older than he was. Remus always looked tired, and very worn. James felt a hint of pity, but quickly smothered it. He didn't pity his friends, he helped them. Like they helped him.
"No, I guess you're right; but, after today, after I blew up like that? I don't know..." Remus smiled slightly at his friend.
"James, here's a bit of advice for you." James looked up again. Remus put a hand on his shoulder bracingly. "You need to stop confronting her in such a public way. Stop breaking rules in front of her, and stop bad mouthing Snape while you're around her. Alright? And stop messing up your hair so much!" Remus added, clapping his hands over James's hair. It made very little difference, seeing as James's hair was stubbornly untidy no matter what anyone did to it.
"Alright, Moony. I'll try. The Snivellus thing will be hard, but I guess she's worth it. Right? And I only have to stop pranking him around her. So I can still prank him when she's not looking," James laughed, the old mischevious glint returning to his eyes. Remus grinned and shook his head.
"By the way, the new prefects bathroom password is 'toothpaste', you should wash up and talk to her later on tonight, away from the others." Remus helped James to his feet.
"Thanks Moony, you're the best." The two left the classroom to find Sirius had levitated Peter, and was zooming him around in midair, tormenting not only a rather dizzy looking Peter, but several first years.
"Padfoot, I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you're already tormenting the younger students!" Remus scolded Sirius mockingly. Sirius dropped Peter ontop of a small Ravenclaw boy, who squirmed hopelessly under the larger boy.
The four friends made their way to lunch, laughing and talking as if nothing had happened, but they all knew it was still fresh in James's mind. James was internally grateful that his friends knew him so well, because talking about it made him uneasy, even after Remus's talk with him.
Lily was avoiding catching the eye of the rigid, slightly blue boy next to her. She was internally scolding herself for letting herself cry in front of someone, much less a Slytherin.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that." Lily said, hoping that he wouldn't press her for the details. Such hope was futile, she soon discovered.
"Evans," Severus said impatiently. So much for compassion, Lily thought.
"Fine, then. Potter got offended when I said..something and he sort of gave up, I guess. He just threw me at you, and stormed off." Lily said.
"What did you say, then?" Severus was obviously getting irritated with her. He leaned back against the next row of seats, and continued to gaze at her through those cold, black eyes. Lily shifted uncomfortably.
"I told him...I was really mad, so I said...Er...That I'd rather kiss a Slytherin, and he-he said..." Lily stuttered through the whole story. Severus had to prompt her impatiently a few times, and soon she was telling him everything. How she felt so guilty, how she didn't expect him to react the way he did, and when she was finally finished, she was crying all over again.
After letting the silence sit awkwardly for a moment, he spoke up. "You should go apologize, then." Lily gaped. Severus Snape was telling her to go apologize?!
"What?!" Lily thought she must have misunderstood him.
"Evans, why do you stubbornly refuse to go out with the git?" Severus was going somewhere with this, she could tell. He wasn't going to make it easy on Lily though. He had the most unnerving way of dragging out the painfuly embarrasing, and his gaze kept sending shivers up her spine. Doesn't he ever blink? She wondered.
"I...because...Well, he's concieted, and a bully! I mean, it's just...wrong, isn't it? He's always so full of himself, isn't he?"
"You say that like you're not so sure, Evans. Do me a favour, stop being so stubborn. Maybe with you he won't feel the need to show off so much, and he'll leave me alone at last."
Lily felt slightly annoyed. That's where he was going with all this? Slytherins really do only worry about themselves.
Lily couldn't think of a way to voice all her frustration, so she stood up and marched down the row, away from Severus. "You self-centered git! A fat lot of help that does me!"
Severus narrowed his black eyes. "Like I care, Evans!" Lily glared. "Just keep me out of your childish quarrels with Potter, then! I didn't come here to help you, I came to find out why the prat was throwing his girlfriend at me."
Lily scoffed, and stomped over to Severus, throwing her books on the ground. "I didn't tell the idiot, 'I'd rather snog Severus than go out with you!' It's not my fault he jumped to that conclusion!" Severus stood as well, glaring at her menacingly.
"Yes it is!"
"Excuse me?! I fail to see how that works out!"
Severus clenched his teeth. "The prat thought you meant me because you're always telling him off when he and that Black git hex me! Are you starting to see how you made him think that way yet?" Lily gaped. He was right, but Lily stood up for everyone. It added up, though.
Lily hung her head, and sunk back onto the bleachers. "I'm sorry. It's probably my fault he keeps on hexing you, then." Severus remained silent for a moment, before sitting down as well.
"Why do you even bother, Evans?" Lily looked up.
"What are you on about now?" Severus rolled his eyes impatiently.
" Telling Potter off all the time, rejecting him, treating him like he cursed your owl, that sort of thing." Severus wouldn't drop his gaze, and Lily, after a moment, remembered to speak. "Do you just stand up for people who insult you constantly, or just to spite the Potter prat? Or is there something else?"
Lily's eyes widened. "Erm...I guess I just...well, I tell him off because I'm a prefect, of course." Liy fidgeted with a lock of her long red hair. "I reject him all the time...because, well...he's a bully, and a prat at times. I guess it bothers me that he thinks he can get away with anything." Lily faultered under Severus's fierce gaze.
"And do you constantly feel the need to stand up to people who call you Mudblood, purely out of the goodness of your heart?" Severus glared at her a moment, but when she didnt speak, he stood suddenly and began to descend from the stands. "Go make up with your damn Potter, Evans. Like I said, it'll make life easier for me."
Before Lily could think, she gathered her books, threw them in her bag, and dashed after Severus, tripping elegantly on the last four steps, and knocking them into the ground. Severus tried to shove Lily off moodily, so he could continue back to the school before afternoon lessons started, but something was wrong.
Severus looked down at the green eyes staring back up at him. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Lily Evans was hugging him?
Feircely avoiding her gaze, Severus snapped, "You're infuriatingly clumsy, Evans." He tried again to release himself from her grip, but he was also pinned under her formidible bag, which he was quite certain held all her books at once.
"Severus..." Lily was trying to get him to look at her, but he refused. This was a prank, he told himself. He knew better. Lily, after being hoisted back onto her feet, almost loosing her grip around Severus's neck, continued, "Severus, look at me." He winced, but complied nonetheless.
"What? Hurt yourself falling down the steps?" Severus snapped, as if she was a pitiable moron for falling. Lily gave him a small smile.
"You and I both know why I tell Potter off when he attacks you...Severus?" He was focusing intently on her ear, avoiding her eye. She frowned a bit, and throwing all caution to the wind, leaned forward.
It happened before Severus could respond. He remembered thinking idiotically that Evan's ear was getting closer, when he felt her lips on his. Before he could react by shoving her away, he responded to the kiss. Kicking himself mentally, he pushed her away, not even looking at her.
"Evans, don't fool yourself." Lily let out a small gasp. "Potter would make both our lives hell if he could see this." Lily hung her head, which, due to their position, ended up on Severus's chest. He stayed rigid as a board. His voice lowered, he patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. "E-Lily, listen. I would only cause problems. This just...can't be happening, alright? Potter, he may be the world's biggest idiot, but he'd give you a better life than I could." Lily looked up when Severus said her first name. His cheeks were a strange light purple. She supposed that was from the blue hex James used on him.
"I don't care, though! We're nothing alike! He's concieted and a show off, and well...you're just quiet and...and...you're-" Severus cut her off with a small kiss.
"Lily, if you go out with him, you'll make it the best day of his life. If things don't work out in the long run, however," He said, wiping a tear from her eye. "After we graduate, when we don't have to worry about Houses, then we can talk. Until then, nothing happened." Lily let out a small sob, and Severus embraced her. "If you want my advice, try and enjoy it. I suppose he'll do anything to make you happy, and as you can be with him, that's your best option at the moment."
"What if you already find someone else?" Lily said, suddenly worried. Severus couldn't help but let out a doubtful laugh.
"Trust me, that will never happen." After Lily's sobs subsided, she gathered up her books and walked back with Severus.
"Lily? I'm sorry in advance about anything I do that offends you. I'm only doing it so Potter won't suspect you anymore," Severus said in a low whisper as they reached the bushes where he'd left his things. While he crouched down to pick up his bag, Lily bent down and kissed him again.
"Sorry," Lily said as they straightened up. "I figured, if it won't happen again for a while, I may as well enjoy it." Severus gave her the slightest grin, and then they departed.
Lily floated to her classes, hunger forgotten, and in Potions, when she saw Severus again, he gave her a meaningful look, but then continued to scowl about. James, surprisingly, did't talk to either one of them.
At dinner, Lily was slightly dismayed to see kidney pie, but satisfied herself with roast potatoes and treacle tart. James was absent from the Gryffindor table, and over at the Slytherin table, Severus glanced at her every now and then. She smiled to herself, and when her friends questioned her whereabouts at lunch, she merely smiled and said she had wanted to spend time alone.
The afternoons events replayed constantly in Lily's mind. Lily wanted nothing more at that point than to just forget about Potter, and be with Severus. Severus was right, though. While in Hogwarts, with its rivalry between Houses, it would be foolish to try to make it work. Lily wasn't the least bit interested in giving Potter another shot, now that she knew how she felt about Severus. However, she said she would do it, so steeling her resolve, she made her way up to the Gryffindor common room. She was slightly distracted when she passed Severus in the hall, and he briefly brushed her hand with his.
Well, if I'm truely terrible, maybe Potter will break it off before I have to. Lily consoled herself. With that chance, she turned the corner she had earlier, and by some sick twist of fate, tripped over the same pair of feet. A rather flowery scent was in the air, though.
Lily looked up and saw James Potter, with wet hair (that was actually almost tidy now) and a big goofy grin, hand outstreatched. She hesitated a moment, but took it in her own.
"Alright, Evans?" James asked in a deeper, more mature voice than usual. Lily realized she had still not let go of his hand. Hastily withdrawing it, she said "So, about Hogsmeade, butterbeer on me?" James grinned, and in a less than mature fashion, pulled Lily into a tight hug.
It may not be that bad... Lily thought, as James and her walked up to the common room, hand in hand.
James's friends saw the two of them walking together, and with wild cheers, ran to give them all big hugs.
"Knew you'd give in sooner or later, Lily!" Sirius said with a barklike laugh.
"Been taking Divination, have you Sirius? I never thought you'd be the one to go for tea leaves and bird entrails." Sirius ruffled her long red hair playfully, and they all settled down for a game of Exploding Snap.
Severus wandered the dungeons, replaying what had occured on the Quidditch pitch that day. Severus wasn't much for romance, but he had to admit, if things went sour with Potter, and Lily came back to him, he'd be the happiest man on Earth. Then Severus gagged at his own sappy confession, but it was half-hearted and he knew it.
A few years after they graduated from Hogwarts, Severus was visited at his new home on Spinners End by someone he thought had forgotten him. He had heard that Lily married James Potter. Envy coarsed through his entire body for weeks on end, and then was replaced by cold, searing anger.
"Lily, what are you doing here?" Severus asked, noting that her belly was swollen, and she was obviously pregnant. She was also crying.
"Severus, I'm so sorry. I - I can't leave James now that I'm going to give birth to his baby!" Lily cried for a long time, and Severus cradled her in his arms, even though he sincerely wished James Potter a painful death.
"Lily, it's alright, you can have a family, and a good life. You should be happy, so I can be happy for you as well." Lily looked up, and understood that it was hard for Severus to hear this.
"I never did stop loving you, Severus. I just got caught up." Severus tightened his embrace around her shoulders briefly before letting go, rather reluctantly.
That night, Severus watched Lily walk away with James Potters baby in her womb. In a sudden burst of anger and envy, Severus decided that if there was no James Potter, and no baby, he could have Lily back.
The Dark Lord Voldemort could feel the anger and pain swelling in the young man before him, and immediately added him to the ranks of the Death Eaters. For a little less than a year, Severus Snape learnt the ways of the Death Eaters. He was branded, and was given a job.
Severus snuck up to the door of the private parlor in which Dumbledore was 'interviewing' a Divination Professor to teach at Hogwarts. The naive woman had no idea that she was making a prediction as he stood there. He leaned next to the keyhole, and just as the woman was about to continue, the acursed barkeep passed by.
Severus made his way back to the Dark Lord that night, and told him what he heard. Severus only heard part of the Prophecy, but he asked the Dark Lord on his knees, to spare the woman.
"Please, don't kill Lily Potter. If you kill James Potter, and her son, she can live without being a threat to you. Spare her, and I will do anything." Severus stared into the cold, red eyes, not bothering to block the Dark Lord out of his mind. If he showed any resistance to any memory he had, the Dark Lord would of course think he was up to something, and kill Lily immediately.
The Dark Lord set off soon after that, and against all that Severus had let him see, after all Severus had done to prevent it, he killed her as well. He hadn't managed to kill the baby, the product of Severus foolishly letting Lily go to Potter, but he had managed to kill the only woman who ever loved him.
Dumbledore thought Severus was a loyal spy long before then, and he was grateful for the old mans protection. If he had gone to Azkaban, he surely would have gone crazy.
Years afterwards, the pain had numbed, and Severus was teaching Potions at Hogwarts. He had always been attracted to the Dark Arts, but Dumbledore would refuse to let him teach it. Many people thought it was because of his Death Eater past, but Dumbledore knew more than others. He knew more than Severus wanted him to, knew about Lily. Knew about his hunger for vengence, knew he'd immediately resent Harry Potter when he came to the school. The old man had a strange way of thinking, Severus thought. Genuis, but he meddles when he'd do better to stay out of things.
The moment he laid eyes on Harry Potter, saw the attention all the students gave him, Severus was reminded painfully of James Potter. Although the boy did nothing to attract the attention, Severus hated him for it. What Severus couldn't stand, above all, was that Harry Potter had his mothers eyes. The same eyes that glared at him every time he passed were the same eyes he looked into so long ago, and thought he may have had a chance to be with Lily.
A/N: Yeah, that was my whole take on the "Snape hates Harry" thing. o.o; Well, as much as it was supposed to be a James and Lily thing, I think I worked a Snape/Lily theme into it more than anything else. Oops. Well, it's possible, isn't it?
THANKS FOR READING!
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