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Chapter 4 : Untold Torment
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“I know Minerva, Lily’s awake, but since you and James have left there have been some...Complications, please James go back to Gryffindor tower.” Dumbledore requested.
“No, I did this to her, I should try and make it right, some way, I should at least try!” James said determination flashing through his eyes that was enough for Dumbledore to realize that there would be no way to get James to go to Gryffindor tower.
“Fine, but I ask that anything seen in the hospital wing stays there.” Dumbledore said more as a demand than a request.
With a quick nod from James, the group of three swiftly made their way to the hospital wing, as they came down the corridor what they heard made them break into a run.
Upon entering the hospital wing the three nearly cried.
There was the proud Lily Evans crouching down on the floor crying and screaming, her tears mixed with black eyeliner that she had worn the day of the accident.
“Holy shit.” Was all James had to say. McGonagall gasped and her eyes filled with tears, she had always thought Lily to be strong, that’s was why she gave the prefect place to Lily this year. Dumbledore looked almost terrified for he held a secret that was very much Lily based.
“I can’t get her to stop, blacked out for a minute and when she woke up she was screaming and crying. And more importantly it seems she used to cut her wrists, and remembering her memories have quite literally opened her wounds again.” The nurse said her cheeks glistening with fallen tears. “She won’t let me near her, I can’t do anything, I have just had to watch, and all I could do was cast a blood replenishing charm, so she won’t bleed to death.”
James took a step closer to the crying mess huddled in the corner of the room, but Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder.
“No, James, we can’t risk more pain being inflicted on her.” He said with sadness filling his eyes.
“I can help her, I’ll be right back.” James said sadly, and then he took off out of the doors.
Ten minutes later Remus and Severus burst through the doors and ran towards Lily, but stopped ten feet away James and Sirius were trailing behind them.
“Go on Snape.” Remus urged the black eyed and haired boy standing beside him, Severus nodded and took a step towards Lily, but when he was only two feet away from her she screamed louder then before. It was obvious that she wasn’t going to let him nearer.
Severus turned around and faced James and stalked up to him.
“This is all your fucking fault, if you hadn’t of tried to kill Lily she wouldn’t be here in the first bloody place, and if you had left me alone I wouldn’t have been angry and I wouldn’t have yelled at Lily! It’s all your fucking fault Lily might just fucking DIE!” Severus screamed at James.
He had never felt so angry, this was Lily, his Lily, the beautiful girl who sat down next to him and talked to him when everyone else just simply hated him. She had suffered because of her choice to sit down next to Severus, but she never cared. They tutored each other in classes which they weren’t the best in, making them best at nearly all subjects. But most importantly they shared their deepest and scariest secrets with each other.
“Severus, what is Lily remembering to cause this.” Dumbledore asked the fifteen year old boy softly.
“She’d rather die then me tell you about her past.” Severus replied sadly. “She’ll never forgive me, but I’ll risk it.” He sighed, his eyes were watering, and he was going to lose Lily now for good.
“When she was young her life was happy and then she got her Hogwarts letter. Her mo…Mum and dad where really happy, but her sister hated her for being different, that really hurt Lily. And then as you know sir, in Lily’s second year her mum and dad were killed by Voldemort, they were killed for protecting Lily, that nearly killed her, worse he did it in front of her, she barely escaped. She then went to live with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend, Pet, Lily’s sister, blamed her for the deaths of their parents, so she hit Lily a few times, and treated her like a slave. Things did get worse for her, but I just am not the one to tell you her deepest ever secret, I’m sorry. Things weren’t any better here; she was bullied by James and everyone else.” Severus said quietly.
“She couldn’t cope with her parent’s death, so at twelve she would cut her wrists. She would ruin her beautiful body.” Severus couldn’t look at Lily anymore, he just couldn’t stand the sight of his strong friend cowering in a corner, and it was now the tears fell. They kept falling and he couldn’t rid himself of them.
“She started drinking in fourth year; she’s been good though this year. Not at all drinking. She said the drinking helped her forget the pain, that and her skateboarding.” With a sigh he turned and walked to wards the doors to the hospital wing, he turned around. “I can’t watch this, tell her I’m sorry.” He whispered and left.
Everyone was silent, they had nothing to say, and wouldn’t know what to say in any case.
Then suddenly Remus took a step up to Lily, he got to the same place as Severus and then he started to whisper things to her. “It’s alright Lily, I won’t let anyone hurt you, and I promise no one will hurt you, least of all me. Lily I’m your friend, I would never let anyone hurt you.” He crouched down beside her and reached out, he managed to place a comforting hand on her shoulder and soon her cries became less.
Slowly she looked up into Remus’ eyes; they were full of concern and kindness. Lily reached out to him, and hugged him, a bit taken by surprise Remus did not react straight away, but he soon realized that she just wanted him to comfort her, so he wrapped his arms around her slightly shaking body and made soothing sounds while she cried. That’s when Remus noticed she was still bleeding, but there wasn’t much he could do right then.
Soon Lily wore herself out and fell asleep on Remus, he picked her up and turned around to bring her to a bed, he realized that Dumbledore and McGonagall had left.
“They thought you had it in control, so they er well they left.” James said quietly.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake James, look Remus, me and James have agreed that we did this to her, now we need to stop it.” Sirius said guiltily.
“Yeah well in any case you didn’t help.” Remus retorted after laying Lily down on a bed, as he did Madame Strout rushed out of her office and started healing Lily’s cuts.
“Boys, its time you left.” Madame Strout said quietly as not to wake Lily up.
“We’re not going any where!” Sirius protested while James and Remus nodded in agreement.
“Fine just don’t wake that poor girl up.” With that the nurse left to her office turning all but one light off.
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