I’ve gotta get him out of my head! He’ll NEVER like me! I mean, he’s a MARAUDER! There’re girls—coughslutscough—practically kissing the ground he walks on! I’m too shy, too dumb, too—ugly!
Besides, I met this REALLY awesome guy over the summer! Mind off Remus, mind off Remus. He has bright red hair and is an AMAZING dancer. No Remus. His name is John Wolf. We’re penpals! (insert overenthusiastic squeal here) Here’s his first letter:
How should I start this letter? I never stop thinking about you? You’re the most gorgeous girl in the world? I long for you? Or—when can we meet again?
I live in England and go to Hogwarts. How about you? Oh! And just for the record, my hair’s not bright red. The day before I left for LA, one of my friends dyed my hair that color. Please believe me when I say—well, write—I’m not dense enough to ACTUALLY have hair that is such an abnormal and hideous color.
Write back soon!
Isn’t Re—JOHN cute? And he goes to Hogwarts?! A—ma—and—zing!
I think I’m in love…
“First day of classes. Joy,” I said sarcastically, yawning and sitting down between Remus and Mads.
“I’m sure the Professors will be happy to see you again, Perks,” Black said, sitting down across from me.
“I know they will, Black. I’m their favorite.”
“Their favorite to give detentions to.”
“No, hun, you have me confused with yourself.”
“It’s okay,” I said, leaning over and patting him on the shoulder. “Everyone gets confounded sometime.”
James, Remy, Mads, and Peter all roared with laughter. Sirius looked put out and left.
“He didn’t even eat!” James exclaimed.
“Poor ol’ chap,” I said, spreading grape jelly on my English muffin and grinning mechnically. Mads smiled, too.
“Here are your timetables,” McGonagall said, hand us each a slip of parchment.
“Awww…thanks, Minnie! Didn’t know you cared,” James cooed.
McGonagall ignored him and walked away.
“Dash it all!” Mads said. “Herbology, Potions, and Double Transfiguration.”
“Oh, posh!” I grumbled.
“I wonder where Sirius went,” Remy said, standing up and leading our group out of the Great Hall. “He doesn’t even have his timetable.”
We heard a banging on the wall outside and turned to it. Sirius was repeatedly knocking his head against the wall.
“Confounded!” James chortled. He grabbed Sirius’s arm and guided him out to the greenhouses.
By the end of the day, Black had three girlfriends.
“I don’t understand how the hell he does it!” Kim yelled at dinner. “I manage to rack up 3 blokes in 7 years and he gets 3 in a day?! SO not fair!”
“I feel your pain, Kim,” Lynn said, looking around for John.
Kim rolled her eyes and moodily stabbed at her potatoes.
“Hi, girls,” Justin Moon said, sitting by Kim.
“He, Justin,” they said in unison.
Justin was Japanese. He had shaggy, black hair and midnight-blue eyes. He was the Seeker on the Quidditch team.
“So, Coach, when’s practice?”
Kim twirled her hair with one hand and her fork with the other. “We have a practice match against Gryffindor tonight.”
“Sweet! I’ll round up the rest of the team and meet you on the pitch!” He left.
“Ready, Moody?” James said from behind her.
“You bet, Potter.”
I love Quidditch! James is Captain and Chaser, along with Josh Bell and Richard Spinnet. Frank Longbottom and Black are Beaters. Dennis Wood is the Keeper and I’m the Seeker.
On Ravenclaw, Kim and Benjy Fenwick are Beaters. Gregory Boot, Henry Chang, and Gina Gora (Robert Johnson’s girlfriend) are Chasers. Justin Moon is the Seeker and Dorcas Meadowes is the Keeper.
The captains shook hands.
“Losers buy winners Butterbeers at the next Hogsmeade,” James said.
“You’re on!” Kim smirked.
Madonna—the ref—released the balls and the game began!
I swerved the Bludger Moody sent at me and began searching for the Snitch.
“Can’t you dodge better, Perks?” Black called from below.
“Can’t you hit better, Black?” I retorted as he accidentally sent a Bludger at Longbottom.
He glared at me and knocked one of the balls my way. Luckily, I ducked it. Glaring daggers at him, I turned away, almost getting hit by the second one he batted at me.
I snapped. Jerking my broom around, I dove at him. He gasped, clearly not expecting my attack. We collided. Our brooms slowly sunk to the ground and we fell off, fighting and kicking.
At that precise moment, Moon caught the Snitch.
James flew down and started cussing at us, throwing us apart.
“—lost us the bloody match because you’re fighting! 20 points from Gryffindor each and detention Saturday morning!”
Black and I gaped at him.
“Looks like that Head Boy gene is kicking in,” Black said to me in an audible whisper.
“Totally. Next thing you know, he’ll stop asking Evans out.”
“I know, right?”
Both team were staring at us, mouths gaping. Moon whispered, “Holy shit.” Black and I finally caught on and glared at each other. We had ACTUALLY agreed on something.
“This is SO morally wrong,” Mads said, helping me off the ground.
“Are you feeling all right?” Kim asked and waved a hand in front of my face. I slapped it away.
“Just peachy!” I snapped.
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